"I pledge addiction, to the FAQ, of the
United Sub-Forums of Hondonia, and to the Idiosyncrasy, for which it stands, one
discussion board, under 2track, easily divisible, with Hot Costners and
MetalHearts for all".
-- Jaxador Dali
I.
Introduction/Welcome
Frequently
Asked Questions, or a section for general help.
Hondo’s
is largely composed of individuals around Miami, Florida (USA), many of which are/were
students of Florida International University.
This is purely geographical; any and all who wish to drink or just BS
with us are fully encouraged to do so. While
some of us are ambitious & envision international chapters, apathy prevents
this: we’re basically people who wish to talk crap with the rest of the world.
Natural selection may be keeping you out. Give the finger to Darwin whilst clicking here, or take the long way around the barn & click on whatever given crazy picture is at the top of the forum's front page.
You’re
free to read as you like, but anonymous posting isn’t allowed; if you wish to
partake, just register – it’s quick and easy (like
your mom).
Simply
click on “Register”, found in the upper-left hand corner of the forum, type
in your desired username & password, your email, click “I agree” to the
rules (never you mind the bit about your soul), and you’re in there like swimwear.
If you're straight-up lazy, try
this link.
Just
yourself & the board’s administrator, who will only alter things upon
request. Your email is hidden if
you specify this, and even if you don’t, no one can see it; they can simply
email you through this site. Under
no circumstances is your email given to marketing whores.
This
happens a lot...drop us a line and I’ll issue you a temp to get you back in, you can
change it to whatever you like when you’re in (just try to make it something
you’ll remember).
You
crazy jive turkeys....a “thread” is just a topic under which
people reply & post. Further
lingo questions are addressed in section V. Please
direct hella California lingo questions to HeartlessBitch.
Other
lingo..DD – Drunken Deities (former board), wanker/wanky is answered in
section VI. As
far as terms such as buggery, rimjobbing, salad-tossing, tea-bagging, bagpipping
etc...if you must ask a fellow member, try to do so on a private message.
We’ve
gotten this before, and have since done much in the way of forum descriptions
below the forums themselves. There’s
a breakdown of each one further in section III of this F.A.Q.,, but in the meantime,
introduce yourself & make yourself
at home talking about whatever you please over in Town
Square...if your topic is
relevant to, say, Movies, however, it will most likely be moved into that forum.
It’s
the picture that appears near your name each time you post, many try to
customize themselves with appropriate pictures.
Many
greats are already waiting in the avatar section:
click “My Controls” at the upper left-hand side of the screen,
then under the “Personal Profile” tab, click “Edit Avatar Settings”.
Picky...if
you have a certain idea in mind (movie, video game, band etc) message Irish
Cowboy and I’ll do my best to find you one.
Now,
if you already have an internet image in mind (remember, if it’s a large
picture, its gonna be shrunken down & look awkward), simply right click the
image, then copy its Web Address/URL location of where you found it, then paste
that back under “Edit Avatar Settings”, at the bottom where there’s a blank that
says “Enter a URL to an online avatar image". This is
all much easier if you right click & use the copy and paste options.
Hint:
Try our new
avatars thread, or an image search at
google,
that’s where many folks find theirs.
Then,
sadly, so does your avatar. We try
to keep backups of our poster’s avatars though, don’t hesitate to ask your
fellow board members for webspace.
This
is how
you
upload images,
according
to
Sarcasmo.
We're using HondoShare now, get with the
times! Much love to Stillbored for hosting all our junk there.
Some
are on the side of the box you see whilst writing/posting; to see the others,
click “Show All” right below that box.
Use the “Search” option, found at the upper-right hand corner of the board, and be sure to have it check for older threads in that space.
This too is found in the upper-right hand corner of any page in the forum, they’re the blue tabs. If you want to see our true member directory, with more detail & pictures, click here.
Ok...
if it’s from another website (assuming we’re all on PC’s here, I don’t
know about Mac’s), simply right-click the image, select its web address
(URL) and click “copy”. From
there, go to your post, click the tab that says “Image” and simply paste
this address on in.
Just
click either B for bold, I for Italic etc then write what you want, then click
the box again; they’re right above the box where you type your post.
For
those who want to do this quicker, use a lil HTML: it works like this.
[b]this
will make this sentence all in bold[/b], [IMG]http://www.whatever damn picture I
want.com[/IMG], and so forth – just remember the brackets & whatever the
abbreviation is.
Simply
copy the text you wish to quote from another’s post (highlight it, right
click, select “copy”) and in your post, click the Quote tab, paste the text
in (right click again, then click “paste”) and click Quote one more time.
Another
way is to type it manually using HTML (the board’s language): just type [QUOTE]
HTML
sucks[/QUOTE] like so, just as with bolding, underlining, etc
Same as bolding/imaging/quoting, just click the http:// tab above where you’re typing, paste whatever link/phrase it is you want, then type in what text you want to go there, and you're done.
Sho 'nuff...Simply put whatever movie ending or other info you wish to not spoil for others (mighty considerate of you) within the brackets of [SPOILER]THE FUCKING TITANIC...IT SINKS![/SPOILER], or use the Spoiler tabs above the text box. It's a great way to not be a dick.
"Not Safe For Work"....meaning, if you disregard that, and your lame company's IT department flags us as 'kake porn or a cult or something, we're not going to apologize, because that's pretty funny. You've simply got to be more careful with the internets before you go clicking on things like this.
It's the same way you'd put images into an actual post...it's up to you to do it, unless you really need help & have something pimping to put out there. We don't have any specific regulations on signatures just yet (as illustrated by Mr. Jack's Meandering Thoughts), but please, no big-ass pictures, don't abuse the lack of a policy, eh?
Simply
click on an active user (found at the bottom of the forum’s front page), or
under any of their posts, click the tab “Send Msg” (or whatever that
particular forum has there...it's found at the bottom
of each post” and type away. To
check messages, click “ (x) New Messages” at the top right hand side of the
screen.
This
happens sometimes...let your administrator know, or post on the board to
let the chatty bastard know to delete some old messages – don’t forget,
unless you uncheck the option when writing a private message, every message you
send is being kept in your “Sent Messages” box as well, and that accumulates
quickly.
After several failed attempts at a chat program, we're outsourcing, and using AIM for our chats, for the time being. The Hondo's Bar room usually meets here if you've got the program; if not, you can get it here for free, thought I recommend Trillian.
If
that doesn't work...take the hint I mean, drop
us a line & we'll see if we can help.
Afraid not, at least at this time – web space is scarce for the time being. If you've got something really exceptional, be sure to contact your admin at Jukebox@hondosbar.com and see what can be worked out.
In
the upper left corner, after “Log Out” is a “View new posts” option,
handy if you wish to see what’s happened since your last visit. In the bottom of the screen is the “Mark all posts as
read”, another trick if you only wish to see new posts. Try out “My Assistant” sometime too, it’s pretty
helpful.
A
host of options are found in “My Controls” - One can change one’s profile
under “Edit Profile Info”, “Edit Signature” and “Edit Avatar
Settings”, all of which are encouraged.
Also,
there’s the “Topic Tracker” option, which keeps track of your favorite
topics. You mark them by clicking
“track this topic” at the bottom of any thread.
“Board
Options” lets you set your time zone up with the board; it’s not a universal
so we recommend you do this to save confusion.
“Email
Options” hides your email or lets others mail you from the board (by default,
it’s hidden) and finally “Change Email address” and “Change password”
hopefully explain themselves..
Yeah, that never-ending game is
all the rave these days...fortunately, there's a
F.A.Q. for that, too!.
And if you're crazy enough to try Zombie King....here's the
F.A.Q. on that one.
This board allows certain member groups to post HTML, so i you're new and it says you're not allowed, you know... post more.
Anyway, here's how:
eeasy-peezy.
those links give it to ya raw, like cocaine
from bolivia.
During
our various upgrades, older members have, at times, somehow had their passwords
changed or lost (don’t ask; we’re lucky we survived some of the
transitions). We don’t want
anyone locked out, so drop us a line,
and we'll get you back in.
They’re called “Skins”, they’re customizations to an individual forum’s appearance...we’re currently testing out quite a few of them; if you’re not fond of one in particular or have an idea, please let us know over in the Suggestion Box.
Bullet Bill here means there's a new post in
that forum that you haven't read yet.
Mr. Goomba here (no offense if you're
italian) means no new posts in that corner.
It’s an easy way to keep up with new topics...the board remembers when
you sign back in, or you can simply hit “Mark all posts as read” at the
bottom of the board if you wish.
A
fake member or being existing for no other reason than a joke/to annoy others,
etc. They’re designated by their
specific groups & constant cock jokes.
You’ve
noticed, eh? I blame architecture
majors. I can’t yet prove it, but
they’ve some phallic obsession imbued in them upon registering for Design 1.
It’s also largely BigChiefSlapaho's fault.
As for the sheep-fucking,
it's a phenomenon that predates history, theorized to have been invented
by one of the many lonely farmers of olden times.
As
for the board, I believe it came about when the question “Why clone sheep?”
was presented, and bacchus felt the need to answer with buggery.
But, on with the F.A.Q.
Due
to our privacy policies & the fact that a number of our members are in the Witness Protection
Program, their identities shall not be revealed under any circumstance.
Most
folks fall under initiates when starting up, and earn rank by post number from
there Special groups include:
-Ancient
Wise Men: Just as it says.
-Unwashed Heathen: The lower part of our caste
system (read: Trolls).
-Preacher’s Divinity: Members originally from www.PreachersDivinity.com,
another great board where a number of our regulars hail from, mostly UK & Irish kids from there.
-Guest:
This person isn’t registered yet, natch.
The rest are exclusives for certain members. You can get your own group if you like, read on.
Yup, the color will determine which group they belong to. To get your own group & color, read on...
You can change your member title at 500 posts (it's not as far as it seems), your member group at 1,000. You can also choose the color of your member group at that point; as long as it's not taken, you gots it.
Puddin’ Tame. Ask me again, I’ll tell ya the same. This is part of the board’s surprise, keep contributing & find out. (Hint: they switch up every 20 posts or so, tops)
Much
of their essence is explained in each forum’s description, be sure to read
them! Here goes..
Town
Hall: This is
our
general section
- various announcements, birthdays, etc.
This is where many folks hang, and new members introduce themselves.
Suggestion Box: This forum is for big announcements about the
board only...it's there so people who check in every so often can quickly catch
up on big events - we encourage members reply to announcements in
The
Suggestion Box.
Politics & Current Events: News, largely politics. Now a
Bacchus family affair.
Plato’s Academy: Philosophy & various abstract thought (such as
love vs. sex, etc).
Culture: Creative writing, prose, poetry, or simply book reviews...this
is one of those quiet corners with a lot of good stuff in it.
Art & Literature: Book reviews & such, art of all kinds.
Movies: That, and TV. Standard
stuff, now featuring Junkerseed, our resident film critic.
Music: Just that...polls, music reviews,
upcoming concerts, guitar notes, all kinds of related things. Now featuring the Lyricist Lounge, our freestyle
corner.
Sports: Our newest forum, on all things athletic!
Comic Books & Graphic Novels: An attempt at
justifying comics as a legitimate art form to the public, but mostly just
reviews of comics. Member art is
now featured here as well.
Nintendorks: Video game talk/reviews, console & PC.
I don’t think we’ve ever had a chick in this forum, same as the
comics forum...'s a shame.
Pubs: The forum bars, a great hang
out...a seedy hive, though Taps of Life is more akin to the club
scene. A good place to catch up
with friends, or simply add to Blargh, our all-encompassing thread of
randomness.
Fight Club: Our infamous corner
of hate..fights/beef are settled here, but often its just roasting and various
polls (vote for who you think is better/cooler/doesn’t fuckin matter). Take it
easy, and for godsake, don’t cry in here.
The Pimp Hand: Funny links,
internet jokes, etc.
The Crap Shack: The last resort of posts. When shit gets outta hand
or too much sheep-fucking is involved, it goes here. Moderators put
completely irrelevant shit here.
There’s a standard questionnaire to be filled out, doesn’t take long. We prefer you provide a scanned pic when possible too. The form is right here, and you can send your information right here.
”Regulars”
were here since the board’s inception or close to it & made an impression,
“Rising Members” are not quite Regulars yet, the sub-chapters within
there are self-explanatory, same with “Missing in Action” and “Cameo
Stars” usually stopped off once (if that) and haven’t since, sadly, and
finally our “Local Celebrities” section highlights our more memorable
trolls.
No, you can't edit the info yourself (it's on a separate page on our server), but I can easily change details on your profile, just lemme know.
The calendar is used to announce birthdays, cultural/historical holidays, special release dates (such as video games, movies, etc) and more. If you wish to add an event, the option is open to registered members: simply click the "Calendar" tab at the top-right of any forum page, then "Add New Event" at the bottom left of that page..
From
the board’s main page, simply click Show detailed by: "Last Click" at the bottom,
below the list of online members, it’ll tell you who’s doing what, unless
they’re logged in anonymously. Also,
if someone’s posting in the same thread as you, you’ll see their name at the
bottom by yours.
By all means, we encourage our members to share their art, as well as their thoughts on it. The Gallery is sporadically updated - not so much on a time-basis as a member activity basis; after 3-4 weeks of no entries, I'll usually toss a good comic art piece.
If you've composed it, or want to hype your local band (and don't suck), pass an mp3 our way, and we'll do what we can. If not, our precious server space is only whored out for big-time sponsors.
That's right, the Photo Gallery is back! We're always taking new entries, be it member gatherings, shots with celebrities, or simply cool pics you'd like to share - send 'em our way! (please, no nudes - unless you're hot)
Moderators
can edit and delete posts within their forum.
In addition, they can move topics out of their forum if they deem them
inappropriate for that location, and can pin & unpin topics.
All
one needs is to have a large number of posts (Sr. Members preferred) and an
interest in the subject. We only
ask the keep 3 or less moderators per section, or it gets crowded.
If you feel you’d be specially apt towards a certain corner (i.e., you
read a lot of video game reviews/play a lot), message your administrator; chances
are you’ll get a shot at it.
Consideration
& the respect we have for them,
hopefully. Each corner has its own
rules for censorship, and enforces them on their local level as they please.
The federal powers (admin) only demand that, if absolutely necessary,
forums edit things,
rather than delete them. Deletion should only be done with admin consent, unless
in the case of accidental doulbe-posting. If
it gets bad enough, just crap shack it.
This
is the action of putting important topics at the top of their respective corner.
They wont necessarily stay on top of the forum’s front page –
that’s only for the most recently posted threads – but if someone goes in,
say, Town Square, the pinned topic(s) are the first ones they see.
They
should appear at the bottom of your screen in any given thread in your
particular corner, try clicking on them or the one that says “Moderator
Options". If you’ve got
further questions, Private Message an admin.
Personal
squabbles, board evolution, a number of things. If you’re looking for gossip, find a tabloid.
We’re moving forward, not airing dirty laundry.
Largely, for name recognition: the DD posters knew Hondo’s as our forum’s pub; the Preacher’s crowd know it from their respective origins. Being a classic John Wayne movie didn’t hurt, but we figured a bar setting was ideal for the crowd/ambience our forum usually carries, and it honestly wasn’t a far stretch from its former theme.
Not
too much, honestly. Same great
crowd, but it’s now officially a public board, for the most part – policies
are made more by attempts at democracy than before, and minor old policies are
being revised. Your personal member
details, post # etc are unaffected by the change.
We apologize for the confusion, but if you've just returned, welcome
back!
The
official policy is this – we don’t, if issues can possibly be resolved by
any other means. Those who disagree
with images, opinions, members in general, etc are invited to debate these
issues, or simply ignore/scroll past them.
While this establishment does not exist solely to offend, we do not
pander to social taboos, either. Only
duplicate posts & those requested by the other (only in special scenarios)
are to be edited, rather than deleted, where possible.
Member banning is a last resort, and one we are proud to have not come
to.
Please bear in mind that due to
the freedom of speech that this site exercises, our forums can - and often will
- feature ideas & images of a graphic nature. Those taking offense are
encouraged to use their browser's "back" button, and the easily
offended are kindly reminded that social taboos are subjective, and often not
shared by our great & eclectic patrons.
We will seek to settle any disputes members may have, but ours is a way of
diplomacy, not censorship. Exceptions are very rarely made to this policy,
and only as an absolute last resort.
"...where there is no harm to be prevented and no
potential victim to be protected...it is difficult
to understand the assertion that conformity, even if
motivated merely by fear of the law's punishment, is a
value worth pursuing, notwithstanding the misery and
sacrifice of freedom which it involves.
The attribution of value to mere conforming behavior,
in abstraction from both motive and consequences,
belongs not to morality, but to taboo."
- H.L.A. Hart, Law, Liberty and Morality
The
site's setup for standard 800 x 600 resolution, and our fancy-pants taskbar
& such swear to me they're good for Internet Explorer, Opera, Netscape (v.
6+), Mozilla, and others, including whatever Macs use... any of these is
fine, as far as Scud is concerned.
.
Also,
we're aware that something in our coding makes the site look a bit jumbly here &
there for users of Mozilla FireFox,
but its a small price to pay for a superior browser.
At this point, we've revamped the gallery, front page, this F.A.Q., skins, and
added numerous options. Currently, we're looking to bring back older ones,
like spoiler tags, "Member of the Day" (not just for Fakename), the chat, etc.
We're foolishly toying with the idea of official political/philosophical debates
too, that should be interesting. Aside from that, watch Dante (our
photoshop ninja) for various graphic badassery.
Most are sporadic...be sure to check in if there's 3 or more people in there, and you can manage your way in. If you'd like to plan one, by all means, drop a line in our Suggestion Box.
By all means, hit up the infamous Suggestion Box. Holla at a scholah!
Dork
Parties were a proud tradition of DD (Drunken Deities), a gathering of dorks
& such to drink, play poker, fighting games, movies, anime, risk games, etc.
Memorable events were recorded, ranging from hustler poker games & BBQ’s to the League of
Extraordinary Dorks premier.
Friday nights are (largely) regularly scheduled
Poker Nights
here in Miami, and we're
all about forum meetups of any kind - for conventions, movies, etc - any
& all members of Hondo’s in the nearby area are invited when they are
publicly announced upon the board; those geographically unable to attend are
expected to drink at some point that night & join us in spirit.
Also, we now have The Gathering, an entire forum just for local meetup planning & such.
Feel
free to link to our site, but please use our logo or drop our name if possible.
You can link to pictures here, but for bandwidth reasons, we’d
rather you didn’t - god knows we’re not clever enough to stop you if you
do, and most of our pictures are being hosted from other sites anyway, so
just be nice about it.
Oh, and we do have a page for linking
back to us, as well - check it out.
Wanker = An
individual who wanks too much, essentially. It’s
basically someone who’s full of shit, or takes themselves too seriously, etc.
Borrowed from the brits, it’s a fine word indeed, of which I thought
our American English was lacking. Other
uses: “That topic on good, wholesome family movies was wanky”.
Bukkake, Hulk Cock, Hot Costner, etc - ...there are some secrets that can only be revealed by actual participation, young jedi. That, or asking 2Track, preferably in public.
Nubian = shut the fuck up!
If you need more info, consult our Wiki.
Why
yes. His name is Pythagoras, and he is awesome. The world's only
known Pengunky (or Monkapenguin, depending on your region), when not eating
babies, he is quite a loving creature, who was adopted after the japanese self
defense force was unable to stop his rampaging, which several Hondonians saw as
simply a cry for attention. More on him
here.
He can walk through water, and not get wet; he's that fresh
Known
relations thus far...
Jumbie
+ Piggylover (bacchus) are brothers,
Dinghy is their sister,
HeartlessBitch and
Akie are
their cousins. The Bacchus clan stretches far & wide.
Irish
Cowboy & SpunkyButt are brother & sister, and * Jewels * is
their cousin, as well.
DJ Ario X & Duado
the Deadly are brothers, as are Da
Cap'n and Super Donut.
Da Cap'n &
*missarah*
recently gave birth to Solara!
Acalis
& Satcha are brother & sister,
while arc is Satcha's
husband.
Spiffytee & Sephiroth
are brothers, as are Yahven & the elusive
gianix 15.
TulipO has her sister, Batgirl,
on board, but i think the joker got her a while back.
SuperEeyore
& alita are sisters, and share many Omega Beta Phi sisters on the board:
Mulan, Aoi, etc.
Finally, TopDawg540
& JunkerSeed brothers as well, while
Spongebob, Sunshyne
& Smurfette are
Chrpnbrd’s wee ones, and Chrpnbrd herself is TopDawg’s wife. Small world, huh?
Formerly
known as DrunkenDeities, and originally thought to be Alhana.net, digital
pioneer Yahven had numerous attempts at previous websites, ranging from
embarrassing journals to earlier attempts at Member lists.
Notable
elements from such long-lost sites are the first forum, consisting of myself,
Yahven & some wanker chick. Didn’t get much attention, largely due to the
fact it formatted itself & lost all the old threads about every 2 weeks.
As
things go, DD’s time passed, and some feared stagnation. Hondo’s rose from the ashes ("like a phoenix, rising
from Arizona!"), and where it goes from here...well, you’re making it
happen..
There's a good, short visual history right
here, too.
An alternate take, courtesy of Jack's Meandering Thoughts:
Hondo's History 101: Hondo's Bar, originally under a
different name, was started by a student of FIU, which is in Miami. Let's say
his name was Yahve. He created the forum to talk to his friends but never have
to leave his room. One member that took a real liking to the board, let's call
him Irish Cowboy, used to post on a board that discussed a comic book called
Preacher. He recruited many members from that site to come here, and that's
where the UK and Irish members came from. Then, a lifelong mentally challenged
friend of Irish Cowboy's, let's call him APANCHALYPSE NOW, found, by random
chance, a girl out in Texas, let's call her MetalHeart. Once she was on, she
recruited about 4897 other people from Texas onto the boards in a period of 17
minutes. This is the reason for one of the many historic "Crashes of Hondos."
The devastation was biblical. This was the Hondo' equivalent of Pompeii, only
worse. Around that time, the one conceited enough to call himself Yahve got his
panties in a twist with another member and in a tempest of toddleresque hissy
fit, handed full control to Irish Cowboy, who had already been co-admin since
the time when Yahve have lost all interest in the forum of his own creation.
With unchecked and absolute power, Irish Cowboy ushered in what Hondonian
Historians would come to call, The Age of The Nick, or The Renaissance of
Draconian Tyranny. This was the Hondo's equivalent of the Holocaust, only worse.
With old age, The Nick the Draconian has calmed down, finding a deeper
satisfaction is a thinly veiled shroud of faux-objective mediation. In
conclusion, it is widely accepted in the scientific community that the only
thing keeping Hondo's from falling apart at the seams is the pillar of strength
known as Jax's Sexiness. It is like the Hondo's equivalent of the healing power
of Jesus times Sunshine to the one billionth power, only better.
Donations
are nothin’ but good, and the only way we keep our heads above water
month-to-month. You
can click here to donate to PayPal. This site requires $$ to
stay on its feet, so please help out – even a few bucks goes a long way.
Paypal jacks a little of the money but gives the rest to us.
Act now to give away money like a sucker, and pay for what everyone else
gets for free! Seriously tho,
it’s really appreciated. We’re
not a pay site by any means, but every little bit helps.
Don’t hesitate to ask
for demeaning acts in return for hefty donations...remember, we’re
whores.
Again, we don’t really
censor here (only crap shack), so do as you please...we ask that if you intend
to use our small forum to whore out your corner of the net, please be tasteful:
at least hang around and talk a bit, if ya can.
We go to great lengths to
help out our member’s respective projects; participate, and we’ll be more
than happy to add your site/banner to our links section. We’ve been known to hijack other site’s bandwidth (and
sometimes members), so we’re not gonna be hypocrites about things.
Bound
to happen...again, feel free to contact the board’s administrator:
*
Nicholas Custer – Irish Cowboy (Town Sheriff)
AIM:
TheIrishCowboy13
ICQ: 17106508
I
Don’t really use Yahoo or MSN messengers, but I also respond to
certain smoke signals, giant “N” spotlights in my region, and cups connected
by string (make sure I have one of the cups or it doesn’t work)
Thanks
for reading!!
