The answer is 3, goddammit, you heard me the first time

"I pledge addiction, to the FAQ, of the United Sub-Forums of Hondonia, and to the Idiosyncrasy, for which it stands, one discussion board, under 2track, easily divisible, with Hot Costners and MetalHearts for all".
-- Jaxador Dali

I. Introduction/Welcome

  1. What's a F.A.Q.? 
  2. Who the hell are you guys?
  3. How do I get into the board?
  4. I'm a guest; what can I do here?
  5. How do I register?
  6. Am I going to get spam mail now? Who has access to my email?
  7. I'm having a hard time registering/I forgot my password.  Help!
  8. I don't follow the lingo, daddy-o.  What's a "thread", etc?
  9. There's too many @#$%in forums here; I don't know where to start.
  10. I'm an old member, and am unable to log back in/password doesn't work.

II. Board basics: the how-to section

  1. What's an avatar?
  2. How do I get cool avatars like you people?
  3. Not bad, but I want one that's not there.
  4. What happens if the link to my avatar goes dead?
  5. How do I upload images?
  6. How do I use the smileys that others are using in their posts?
  7. How do I search for a certain thread/topic?
  8. Where can I find the member directory?
  9. How do I post an image?
  10. How do I make text bold/italic/underlined?
  11. How do I quote others (in that little box)?
  12. What about web addresses & links?
  13. Is there a way to hide *SPOILERS*?
  14. What does "NSFW" mean?
  15. How do I put fancy shit in my signature like you monkeys do?
  16. How does the Private Messenger work?
  17. The user I'm trying to message's mailbox is full.
  18. How does the Calendar work, can I add an event?
  19. How do I use the chat room? It's not letting me in...
  20. Can I upload MP3's and other files to the board and share them?
  21. What other options are open for me to use?
  22. How do I play the "Werewolf" game? Or even "Zombie King"?
  23. How do I post a video/use HTML?

III. Layout specifics: the member list & more

  1. Why are different forums different colors?
  2. What's with the different Super Mario pictures next to each forum when I sign in?
  3. What's a troll?
  4. ...But a lot of people here tell cock jokes.  And there's a lot about sheep-fucking, too.
  5. Who is Madman/Pink Hulk/other random member?
  6. How do the groups work?
  7. Does each member group get its own color at the bottom?
  8. When do I get my own member group/title/color?
  9. How many more posts before my ranking goes up?
  10. What's the difference between the individual forums?
  11.  I wish to be on the "Members List", and/or have a picture to donate.
  12. What are the rankings like on the "Member List"? Can I edit it the same as my board one?
  13. I'm a nosy chicken-head, how can I tell who else is on the board right now?
  14. Can I submit a piece to the art gallery? How often is it updated?
  15. Can I make a request on the Jukebox?
  16. I've got a cool pic to use in the Photo Gallery, how do I put it up there?

IV. Moderation: The key to life

  1. What are the powers/responsibilities of a moderator? 
  2. Can I/How do I go about becoming a moderator?
  3. So, what keeps them from deleting everything when they get pissed/crazy?
  4. What does it mean to pin/unpin a topic?
  5. I'm a moderator; what can I do?

V. Hondo's & Drunken Deities

  1. The @#$% happened to Drunken Deities?
  2. Why "Hondo's", why a bar for the setting?
  3. What's the difference between this & the old forum?
  4. So, what are the new policies on censorship, banning, etc?

VI. The Future of the future: general questions

  1. What is this board's official policy on censorship?
  2. What's the preferred way of viewing this site?
  3. What plans does Hondo's have in the future?
  4. Does Hondo's have scheduled chats?
  5. I got a great idea for the boards/layout/forum description/etc.
  6. How do I get invited to local events - parties, Hondo's Poker night, etc?
  7. Can I link to your site/my profile here/pictures you have on this board?
  8. What's a "Wanker", "Bukkake", "Hot Costner", etc...?
  9. Does Hondo's have a mascot?
  10. Who's actually related on the board here? 
  11. What's the history of Hondo's Bar?
  12. I have far too much cheddah, and this site is the fatty-boom-batty-daddy of the internet.  Where can I donate?
  13. What's this site's policy on advertising; can you guys link people to my page/project/forum?
  14. I have a question not answered here, how can I contact you?

1. Intro: to all things a beginning  

What's a F.A.Q. ?

Frequently Asked Questions, or a section for general help.  

pick it up, pick it up

Who the hell are you guys?

Hondo’s is largely composed of individuals around Miami, Florida (USA), many of which are/were students of Florida International University.  This is purely geographical; any and all who wish to drink or just BS with us are fully encouraged to do so.  While some of us are ambitious & envision international chapters, apathy prevents this: we’re basically people who wish to talk crap with the rest of the world.  

we're just some men who're on the mic, and when we rock up on the mic, we rock the mic, right

How do I get into the board?

Natural selection may be keeping you out.  Give the finger to Darwin whilst clicking here, or take the long way around the barn & click on whatever given crazy picture is at the top of the forum's front page

that was easier than killing galapagos island turtles

I'm a guest; what can I do here?

You’re free to read as you like, but anonymous posting isn’t allowed; if you wish to partake, just register – it’s quick and easy (like your mom).  

oh yeah? yo mama give so much head, bitch's lips went platinum

How do I register?

Simply click on “Register”, found in the upper-left hand corner of the forum, type in your desired username & password, your email, click “I agree” to the rules (never you mind the bit about your soul), and you’re in there like swimwear.  
If you're straight-up lazy, try this link.

Braaaazil, la la la la la laaa

Am I going to get spam mail now? Who has access to my email?

Just yourself & the board’s administrator, who will only alter things upon request.  Your email is hidden if you specify this, and even if you don’t, no one can see it; they can simply email you through this site.  Under no circumstances is your email given to marketing whores.  


I'm having a hard time registering/I forgot my!

This happens a lot...drop us a line and I’ll issue you a temp to get you back in, you can change it to whatever you like when you’re in (just try to make it something you’ll remember).  

"memories are irrelevant if you have the facts" - memento

I don't follow the lingo, daddy-o.  What's a "thread", etc?

You crazy jive turkeys....a “thread” is just a topic under which people reply & post. Further lingo questions are addressed in section V.  Please direct hella California lingo questions to HeartlessBitch.
Other lingo..DD – Drunken Deities (former board), wanker/wanky is answered in section VI. As far as terms such as buggery, rimjobbing, salad-tossing, tea-bagging, bagpipping etc...if you must ask a fellow member, try to do so on a private message.  

click here to give a random board member a dirty sanchez

There's too many @#$% forums here...I don't know where to start.

We’ve gotten this before, and have since done much in the way of forum descriptions below the forums themselves.  There’s a breakdown of each one further in section III of this F.A.Q.,, but in the meantime, introduce yourself & make yourself at home talking about whatever you please over in Town Square...if your topic is relevant to, say, Movies, however, it will most likely be moved into that forum.  

i've tried to make it simpler...god, how i've tried

What's an avatar?

It’s the picture that appears near your name each time you post, many try to customize themselves with appropriate pictures.  

doesn't matter if you're skinny, doesn't matter if you're fat, you can dress up like a sultan in your onion-head hat

How do I get cool avatars like you people?

Many greats are already waiting in the avatar section:  click “My Controls” at the upper left-hand side of the screen, then under the “Personal Profile” tab, click “Edit Avatar Settings”. Select "Base Gallery", then click "Go"...there’s a lot of good ones there, even a few for de weee-men.   

if you smell somethin' funny...that's just our grimace avatar, 'cause he's the shit

Not bad, but I want one that's not there.

Picky...if you have a certain idea in mind (movie, video game, band etc) message Irish Cowboy and I’ll do my best to find you one.
Now, if you already have an internet image in mind (remember, if it’s a large picture, its gonna be shrunken down & look awkward), simply right click the image, then copy its Web Address/URL location of where you found it, then paste that back under “Edit Avatar Settings”, at the bottom where there’s a blank that says “Enter a URL to an online avatar image".  This is all much easier if you right click & use the copy and paste options.
Hint: Try our new avatars thread, or an image search at google, that’s where many folks find theirs.  

there's a thread in town square for new avatars, too

What happens if the link to my avatar goes dead?

Then, sadly, so does your avatar.  We try to keep backups of our poster’s avatars though, don’t hesitate to ask your fellow board members for webspace.  

we also speak well of it, and mourn its passing

How do I upload images?

This is how you upload images, according to Sarcasmo.

We're using HondoShare now, get with the times!  Much love to Stillbored for hosting all our junk there.

get up, get on up

How do I use the smileys that others are using in their posts?

Some are on the side of the box you see whilst writing/posting; to see the others, click “Show All” right below that box.  

guess what? i got a fevah...and the only more cowbell.

How do I search for a certain thread/topic?

Use the “Search” option, found at the upper-right hand corner of the board, and be sure to have it check for older threads in that space.

wow, you're not even looking, are you?

Where can I find the member directory?

This too is found in the upper-right hand corner of any page in the forum, they’re the blue tabs.  If you want to see our true member directory, with more detail & pictures, click here.

man, that irishcowboy sure is hot

How do I post an image?

Ok... if it’s from another website (assuming we’re all on PC’s here, I don’t know about Mac’s), simply right-click the image, select its web address (URL) and click “copy”.  From there, go to your post, click the tab that says “Image” and simply paste this address on in. doesn't allow direct linking to images...just so you know

How do I make text bold/italicized/underlined?

Just click either B for bold, I for Italic etc then write what you want, then click the box again; they’re right above the box where you type your post.

For those who want to do this quicker, use a lil HTML: it works like this.

[b]this will make this sentence all in bold[/b], [IMG]http://www.whatever damn picture I[/IMG], and so forth – just remember the brackets & whatever the abbreviation is.  

[sarcasm]good job![/dickhead]

How do I quote others (in that little box)?

Simply copy the text you wish to quote from another’s post (highlight it, right click, select “copy”) and in your post, click the Quote tab, paste the text in (right click again, then click “paste”) and click Quote one more time. 

Another way is to type it manually using HTML (the board’s language): just type [QUOTE] HTML sucks[/QUOTE] like so, just as with bolding, underlining, etc   

[quote]"koo-koo-kachoo, missus robinson"[/quote]

What about web addresses/links to other sites?

Same as bolding/imaging/quoting, just click the http:// tab above where you’re typing, paste whatever link/phrase it is you want, then type in what text you want to go there, and you're done. 

[url=]...'s all im sayin

Is there a way to hide *SPOILERS*?

Sho 'nuff...Simply put whatever movie ending or other info you wish to not spoil for others (mighty considerate of you) within the brackets of [SPOILER]THE FUCKING TITANIC...IT SINKS![/SPOILER], or use the Spoiler tabs above the text box.  It's a great way to not be a dick.

darth is luke's father, too.  sorry

What's "NSFW" mean?

"Not Safe For Work"....meaning, if you disregard that, and your lame company's IT department flags us as 'kake porn or a cult or something, we're not going to apologize, because that's pretty funny.  You've simply got to be more careful with the internets before you go clicking on things like this.

sorry bout your job, but government cheese ain't that bad

How do I put fancy shit in my signature like you monkeys do?

It's the same way you'd put images into an actual's up to you to do it, unless you really need help & have something pimping to put out there.  We don't have any specific regulations on signatures just yet (as illustrated by Mr. Jack's Meandering Thoughts), but please, no big-ass pictures, don't abuse the lack of a policy, eh?

no matter how cool the image, it's lame after your 10th post or so

How does the Private Messenger work?

Simply click on an active user (found at the bottom of the forum’s front page), or under any of their posts, click the tab “Send Msg” (or whatever that particular forum has's found at the bottom of each post” and type away.  To check messages, click “ (x) New Messages” at the top right hand side of the screen.  

even if i died a thousand deaths, when i resseurect, i'd still be meth; the jams'd still be def

But it says their mailbox is full.

This happens sometimes...let your administrator know, or post on the board to let the chatty bastard know to delete some old messages – don’t forget, unless you uncheck the option when writing a private message, every message you send is being kept in your “Sent Messages” box as well, and that accumulates quickly.  

"my mom says i'm a catch...i'm popular"

How do I use the chat room? It's not letting me in...

After several failed attempts at a chat program, we're outsourcing, and using AIM for our chats, for the time being. The Hondo's Bar room usually meets here if you've got the program; if not, you can get it here for free, thought I recommend Trillian.

If that doesn't work...take the hint I mean, drop us a line & we'll see if we can help.

to fight's not right, that i recite, and i'm...quite polite, like walter kronkite

Can I upload MP3's and other files to the board and share them?

Afraid not, at least at this time – web space is scarce for the time being.  If you've got something really exceptional, be sure to contact your admin at and see what can be worked out.

dance around the border like i'm cassius clay

What other options are open for me to use?

In the upper left corner, after “Log Out” is a “View new posts” option, handy if you wish to see what’s happened since your last visit.  In the bottom of the screen is the “Mark all posts as read”, another trick if you only wish to see new posts.  Try out “My Assistant” sometime too, it’s pretty helpful.
A host of options are found in “My Controls” - One can change one’s profile under “Edit Profile Info”, “Edit Signature” and “Edit Avatar Settings”, all of which are encouraged.
Also, there’s the “Topic Tracker” option, which keeps track of your favorite topics.  You mark them by clicking “track this topic” at the bottom of any thread.
“Board Options” lets you set your time zone up with the board; it’s not a universal so we recommend you do this to save confusion.
“Email Options” hides your email or lets others mail you from the board (by default, it’s hidden) and finally “Change Email address” and “Change password” hopefully explain themselves..

raw, i'ma give it to ya, with no trivia, more like cocaine stright from bolivia

How do I play the "Werewolf" game? Or even "Zombie King"?

Yeah, that never-ending game is all the rave these days...fortunately, there's a F.A.Q. for that, too!.
And if you're crazy enough to try Zombie's the F.A.Q. on that one.

trust no one

How do I post videos/use HTML?

This board allows certain member groups to post HTML, so i you're new and it says you're not allowed, you know... post more.

Anyway, here's how:


those links give it to ya raw, like cocaine from bolivia.

I'm an old member and am unable to log in/password doesn't work.

During our various upgrades, older members have, at times, somehow had their passwords changed or lost (don’t ask; we’re lucky we survived some of the transitions).  We don’t want anyone locked out, so drop us a line, and we'll get you back in.  

either that, or you should take the hint, eh?

Why are the different forums different colors?

They’re called “Skins”, they’re customizations to an individual forum’s appearance...we’re currently testing out quite a few of them; if you’re not fond of one in particular or have an idea, please let us know over in the Suggestion Box.

i know, i know, no one likes the matrix one

What's with the different Super Mario characters next to each forum when I sign in?

Bullet Bill here means there's a new post in that forum that you haven't read yet.

Mr. Goomba here (no offense if you're italian) means no new posts in that corner.  

  It’s an easy way to keep up with new topics...the board remembers when you sign back in, or you can simply hit “Mark all posts as read” at the bottom of the board if you wish.  

hondo's: more obscure nintendo references in '05

What's a troll?

A fake member or being existing for no other reason than a joke/to annoy others, etc.  They’re designated by their specific groups & constant cock jokes.  

not that there's anything wrong with that

...But lots of people here tell cock jokes.  And there's an awful lot here on sheep-fucking, too.

You’ve noticed, eh?  I blame architecture majors.  I can’t yet prove it, but they’ve some phallic obsession imbued in them upon registering for Design 1.  It’s also largely BigChiefSlapaho's fault.  
As for the sheep-fucking,
it's a phenomenon that predates history, theorized to have been invented by one of the many lonely farmers of olden times.   
As for the board, I believe it came about when the question “Why clone sheep?” was presented, and bacchus felt the need to answer with buggery.  
But, on with the F.A.Q.  

yeah, enough about the one-eyed yogurt slinger

Who is Madman/Tangent Man/Pink Hulk/other random member?

Due to our privacy policies & the fact that a number of our members are in the Witness Protection Program, their identities shall not be revealed under any circumstance.   

but then we make profiles, and we all have to move to mexico

How do the groups work?

Most folks fall under initiates when starting up, and earn rank by post number from there Special groups include:

-Ancient Wise Men: Just as it says.
-Unwashed Heathen: The lower part of our caste system (read: Trolls).
-Preacher’s Divinity: Members originally from, another great board where a number of our regulars hail from, mostly UK & Irish kids from there.
-Guest: This person isn’t registered yet, natch.

The rest are exclusives for certain members.  You can get your own group if you like, read on.

cowboy's chillin', ario's chillin', what more can i say? top billin'

Does each member group get its own color at the bottom, when signed in?

Yup, the color will determine which group they belong to.  To get your own group & color, read on...

you're mad 'cause my style, you're admiring; don't be mad, UPS is hiring

When do I get my own member group/title/color?

You can change your member title at 500 posts (it's not as far as it seems), your member group at 1,000.  You can also choose the color of your member group at that point; as long as it's not taken, you gots it.

see? no longer a secret

How many more posts before my ranking goes up?

Puddin’ Tame. Ask me again, I’ll tell ya the same.  This is part of the board’s surprise, keep contributing & find out.  (Hint: they switch up every 20 posts or so, tops)

what, you don't like being a "poo-flinging monkey"?

What's the difference between the individual forums?

Much of their essence is explained in each forum’s description, be sure to read them!  Here goes..

Town Hall: This is our general section - various announcements, birthdays, etc.  This is where many folks hang, and new members introduce themselves.
Suggestion Box: This forum is for big announcements about the board's there so people who check in every so often can quickly catch up on big events - we encourage members reply to announcements in The Suggestion Box.
Politics & Current Events: News, largely politics.  Now a Bacchus family affair.
Plato’s Academy: Philosophy & various abstract thought (such as love vs. sex, etc).
Culture: Creative writing, prose, poetry, or simply book reviews...this is one of those quiet corners with a lot of good stuff in it.
Art & Literature: Book reviews & such, art of all kinds.
Movies: That, and TV.  Standard stuff, now featuring Junkerseed, our resident film critic.
Now hosting our Anime forum as well.
Music: Just that...polls, music reviews, upcoming concerts, guitar notes, all kinds of related things.  Now featuring the Lyricist Lounge, our freestyle corner.  
Sports: Our newest forum, on all things athletic!

Comic Books & Graphic Novels: An attempt at justifying comics as a legitimate art form to the public, but mostly just reviews of comics.  Member art is now featured here as well.
Nintendorks: Video game talk/reviews, console & PC.  I don’t think we’ve ever had a chick in this forum, same as the comics forum...'s a shame.

Pubs: The forum bars, a great hang out...a seedy hive, though Taps of Life is more akin to the club scene.  A good place to catch up with friends, or simply add to Blargh, our all-encompassing thread of randomness.
Fight Club: Our infamous corner of hate..fights/beef are settled here, but often its just roasting and various polls (vote for who you think is better/cooler/doesn’t fuckin matter). Take it easy, and for godsake, don’t cry in here.
The Pimp Hand: Funny links, internet jokes, etc.
The Crap Shack: The last resort of posts.  When shit gets outta hand or too much sheep-fucking is involved, it goes here.  Moderators put completely irrelevant shit here.  

everybody now: ho-tel, mo-tel, holiday inn

I wish to be in the "Member List" section.

There’s a standard questionnaire to be filled out, doesn’t take long.  We prefer you provide a scanned pic when possible too.  The form is right here, and you can send your information right here.

i say, if yo girl start actin' up, then you take her friend

How do the rankings go on the "Member List"? Can I edit that section the same as my board profile?

”Regulars” were here since the board’s inception or close to it & made an impression,  “Rising Members” are not quite Regulars yet, the sub-chapters within there are self-explanatory, same with “Missing in Action” and “Cameo Stars” usually stopped off once (if that) and haven’t since, sadly, and finally our “Local Celebrities” section highlights our more memorable trolls.   

No, you can't edit the info yourself (it's on a separate page on our server), but I can easily change details on your profile, just lemme know.

makes me wanna holler, the way they do my life

How does the calendar work? Can I add events?

The calendar is used to announce birthdays, cultural/historical holidays, special release dates (such as video games, movies, etc) and more.  If you wish to add an event, the option is open to registered members: simply click the "Calendar" tab at the top-right of any forum page, then "Add New Event" at the bottom left of that page..

and yes, steak and blow job day is an official holiday round these parts

I'm a nosy chicken-head; how can I know who's on the board with me right now?

From the board’s main page, simply click Show detailed by: "Last Click" at the bottom, below the list of online members, it’ll tell you who’s doing what, unless they’re logged in anonymously.  Also, if someone’s posting in the same thread as you, you’ll see their name at the bottom by yours.  

like michael said, you are not alone...sometimes

Can I submit a piece to the Art Gallery? How often is it updated?

By all means, we encourage our members to share their art, as well as their thoughts on it.  The Gallery is sporadically updated - not so much on a time-basis as a member activity basis; after 3-4 weeks of no entries, I'll usually toss a good comic art piece.

if you're ever in a fight with any one of us, break out! before you get the wild, wild west

Can I make requests on the Jukebox?

If you've composed it, or want to hype your local band (and don't suck), pass an mp3 our way, and we'll do what we can.  If not, our precious server space is only whored out for big-time sponsors.

if the riaa is gonna come down on us one day, it's not gonna be so you can here "hey ya" again, man

I've got a cool pic to use in the Photo Gallery, how do I put it up there?

That's right, the Photo Gallery is back!  We're always taking new entries, be it member gatherings, shots with celebrities, or simply cool pics you'd like to share - send 'em our way! (please, no nudes - unless you're hot)

we can even make you an overnight celebrity, know what i'm sayin? 

What are the powers/responsibilities of a moderator? 

Moderators can edit and delete posts within their forum.  In addition, they can move topics out of their forum if they deem them inappropriate for that location, and can pin & unpin topics.  

behold the bold soldier, controls the globe slowly: proceeds to blow, swignin' swords like shinobi

Can I/how do I go about becoming a moderator?

All one needs is to have a large number of posts (Sr. Members preferred) and an interest in the subject.  We only ask the keep 3 or less moderators per section, or it gets crowded.  If you feel you’d be specially apt towards a certain corner (i.e., you read a lot of video game reviews/play a lot), message your administrator; chances are you’ll get a shot at it.  

where laws were stern, and justice stood, and people were behavin' like they ought to good

So...what keeps these moderators from deleting everything when they're pissed/crazy?

Consideration & the respect we have for them, hopefully.  Each corner has its own rules for censorship, and enforces them on their local level as they please.  The federal powers (admin) only demand that, if absolutely necessary, forums edit things, rather than delete them. Deletion should only be done with admin consent, unless in the case of accidental doulbe-posting.  If it gets bad enough, just crap shack it.  

not that they haven't tried, mind you

What does it mean to pin/unpin a topic?

This is the action of putting important topics at the top of their respective corner.  They wont necessarily stay on top of the forum’s front page – that’s only for the most recently posted threads – but if someone goes in, say, Town Square, the pinned topic(s) are the first ones they see.  

if a dope lyrical flow is a must, you've got to go with a name you can quickly trust

I'm a moderator, what can I do?

They should appear at the bottom of your screen in any given thread in your particular corner, try clicking on them or the one that says “Moderator Options".  If you’ve got further questions, Private Message an admin.  

hey, hey, what can i do? i got a lil woman, and she won't be true, no

The @#$% happened to "Drunken Deities"?

Personal squabbles, board evolution, a number of things.  If you’re looking for gossip, find a tabloid.  We’re moving forward, not airing dirty laundry.   

"everything changes, but nothing is truly lost"

Why "Hondo's", why a bar for the setting?

Largely, for name recognition: the DD posters knew Hondo’s as our forum’s pub; the Preacher’s crowd know it from their respective origins.  Being a classic John Wayne movie didn’t hurt, but we figured a bar setting was ideal for the crowd/ambience our forum usually carries, and it honestly wasn’t a far stretch from its former theme.  

one bourbon, one scotch, and one beer

What's the difference between this & the old forum?

Not too much, honestly.  Same great crowd, but it’s now officially a public board, for the most part – policies are made more by attempts at democracy than before, and minor old policies are being revised.  Your personal member details, post # etc are unaffected by the change.  We apologize for the confusion, but if you've just returned, welcome back!  

it's old wine in new bottles

So, what are the new policies on censorship, banning, etc?

The official policy is this – we don’t, if issues can possibly be resolved by any other means.  Those who disagree with images, opinions, members in general, etc are invited to debate these issues, or simply ignore/scroll past them.  While this establishment does not exist solely to offend, we do not pander to social taboos, either.  Only duplicate posts & those requested by the other (only in special scenarios) are to be edited, rather than deleted, where possible.  Member banning is a last resort, and one we are proud to have not come to.   

And orwell's hell a terror era coming through, but this little brothers watching you too

What is this board's official policy on censorship? I take offense to certain religious/political ideas/images on your site

Please bear in mind that due to the freedom of speech that this site exercises, our forums can - and often will - feature ideas & images of a graphic nature.  Those taking offense are encouraged to use their browser's "back" button, and the easily offended are kindly reminded that social taboos are subjective, and often not shared by our great & eclectic patrons.
We will seek to settle any disputes members may have, but ours is a way of diplomacy, not censorship.  Exceptions are very rarely made to this policy, and only as an absolute last resort. 

"...where there is no harm to be prevented and no 
potential victim to be is difficult
to understand the assertion that conformity, even if 
motivated merely by fear of the law's punishment, is a 
value worth pursuing, notwithstanding the misery and 
sacrifice of freedom which it involves. 
The attribution of value to mere conforming behavior, 
in abstraction from both motive and consequences, 
belongs not to morality, but to taboo."
- H.L.A. Hart, Law, Liberty and Morality


we don't negotiate with terrorists, either

What's the preferred method of viewing this site?

The site's setup for standard 800 x 600 resolution, and our fancy-pants taskbar & such swear to me they're good for Internet Explorer, Opera, Netscape (v. 6+), Mozilla, and others, including whatever Macs use... any of these is fine, as far as Scud is concerned.

Also, we're aware that something in our coding makes the site look a bit jumbly here & there for users of Mozilla FireFox, but its a small price to pay for a superior browser.

if you know who scud the disposable assassin is, for the love of god, get over to the comics forum soon

What plans does Hondo's have for the future?

At this point, we've revamped the gallery, front page, this F.A.Q., skins, and added numerous options.  Currently, we're looking to bring back older ones, like spoiler tags, "Member of the Day" (not just for Fakename), the chat, etc.
We're foolishly toying with the idea of official political/philosophical debates too, that should be interesting.  Aside from that, watch Dante (our photoshop ninja) for various graphic badassery.

we're also gonna get a pony

Does Hondo's ever have any scheduled chats?

Most are sure to check in if there's 3 or more people in there, and you can manage your way in.  If you'd like to plan one, by all means, drop a line in our Suggestion Box

lol a/s/l...c'mon everyone, lie to me

I have a great idea for the boards/layout/forum description/etc.

By all means, hit up the infamous Suggestion Box.  Holla at a scholah!

engine, engine, number nine, on the new york transit line

How do I get invited to local events - parties, Hondo's Poker Night, etc?

Dork Parties were a proud tradition of DD (Drunken Deities), a gathering of dorks & such to drink, play poker, fighting games, movies, anime, risk games, etc.  Memorable events were recorded, ranging from hustler poker games & BBQ’s to the League of Extraordinary Dorks premier. 

Friday nights are (largely) regularly scheduled Poker Nights here in Miami, and we're all about forum meetups of any kind - for conventions, movies, etc - any & all members of Hondo’s in the nearby area are invited when they are publicly announced upon the board; those geographically unable to attend are expected to drink at some point that night & join us in spirit.   

Also, we now have The Gathering, an entire forum just for local meetup planning & such. 

if my train goes off the track, pick it up, pick it up, pick it up, back!

Can I link to your site/my profile here/pictures you have on this board?

Feel free to link to our site, but please use our logo or drop our name if possible.  You can link to pictures here, but for bandwidth reasons, we’d rather you didn’t - god knows we’re not clever enough to stop you if you do, and most of our pictures are being hosted from other sites anyway, so just be nice about it.  
Oh, and we do have a page for linking back to us, as well - check it out.

it's true, we've been yelled at about it

What's a "Wanker", "Nubian", "bukkake", "dirty sanchez", "teabagging", "Hulk cock", "Hot Costner", etc...?

Wanker = An individual who wanks too much, essentially.  It’s basically someone who’s full of shit, or takes themselves too seriously, etc.  Borrowed from the brits, it’s a fine word indeed, of which I thought our American English was lacking.  Other uses: “That topic on good, wholesome family movies was wanky”.

Bukkake, Hulk Cock, Hot Costner, etc - ...there are some secrets that can only be revealed by actual participation, young jedi.  That, or asking 2Track, preferably in public.

Nubian = shut the fuck up!

If you need more info, consult our Wiki.

That's right, we steal images from all over

and don't even get me started on sasquatches punching people in the taint

Does Hondo's have a mascot?

Why yes.  His name is Pythagoras, and he is awesome.  The world's only known Pengunky (or Monkapenguin, depending on your region), when not eating babies, he is quite a loving creature, who was adopted after the japanese self defense force was unable to stop his rampaging, which several Hondonians saw as simply a cry for attention.  More on him here.

He can walk through water, and not get wet; he's that fresh

Who's actually related on the board here?

Known relations thus far...
Jumbie + Piggylover (bacchus) are brothers, Dinghy is their sister, HeartlessBitch and Akie are their cousins. The Bacchus clan stretches far & wide.
Irish Cowboy & SpunkyButt are brother & sister, and  * Jewels * is their cousin, as well
DJ Ario X & Duado the Deadly are brothers, as are Da Cap'n and Super Donut.  
Da Cap'n & *missarah* recently gave birth to Solara!
Acalis & Satcha are brother & sister, while arc is Satcha's husband.
Spiffytee & Sephiroth are brothers, as are Yahven & the elusive gianix 15.
TulipO has her sister, Batgirl, on board, but i think the joker got her a while back.
SuperEeyore & alita are sisters, and share many Omega Beta Phi sisters on the board: Mulan, Aoi,  etc.
Finally, TopDawg540 & JunkerSeed brothers as well, while Spongebob, Sunshyne & Smurfette are Chrpnbrd’s wee ones, and Chrpnbrd herself is TopDawg’s wife. Small world, huh?  

but we're all in the same gang, like mc hammer said

What's the history to Hondo's Bar?

Formerly known as DrunkenDeities, and originally thought to be, digital pioneer Yahven had numerous attempts at previous websites, ranging from embarrassing journals to earlier attempts at Member lists.
Notable elements from such long-lost sites are the first forum, consisting of myself, Yahven & some wanker chick. Didn’t get much attention, largely due to the fact it formatted itself & lost all the old threads about every 2 weeks.
As things go, DD’s time passed, and some feared stagnation.  Hondo’s rose from the ashes ("like a phoenix, rising from Arizona!"), and where it goes from here...well, you’re making it happen..  
There's a good, short visual history right here, too.

An alternate take, courtesy of Jack's Meandering Thoughts:

Hondo's History 101: Hondo's Bar, originally under a different name, was started by a student of FIU, which is in Miami. Let's say his name was Yahve. He created the forum to talk to his friends but never have to leave his room. One member that took a real liking to the board, let's call him Irish Cowboy, used to post on a board that discussed a comic book called Preacher. He recruited many members from that site to come here, and that's where the UK and Irish members came from. Then, a lifelong mentally challenged friend of Irish Cowboy's, let's call him APANCHALYPSE NOW, found, by random chance, a girl out in Texas, let's call her MetalHeart. Once she was on, she recruited about 4897 other people from Texas onto the boards in a period of 17 minutes. This is the reason for one of the many historic "Crashes of Hondos." The devastation was biblical. This was the Hondo' equivalent of Pompeii, only worse. Around that time, the one conceited enough to call himself Yahve got his panties in a twist with another member and in a tempest of toddleresque hissy fit, handed full control to Irish Cowboy, who had already been co-admin since the time when Yahve have lost all interest in the forum of his own creation. With unchecked and absolute power, Irish Cowboy ushered in what Hondonian Historians would come to call, The Age of The Nick, or The Renaissance of Draconian Tyranny. This was the Hondo's equivalent of the Holocaust, only worse. With old age, The Nick the Draconian has calmed down, finding a deeper satisfaction is a thinly veiled shroud of faux-objective mediation. In conclusion, it is widely accepted in the scientific community that the only thing keeping Hondo's from falling apart at the seams is the pillar of strength known as Jax's Sexiness. It is like the Hondo's equivalent of the healing power of Jesus times Sunshine to the one billionth power, only better.

we're actually five years old, believe it or not

I have far too much cheddah ($), and this site is the phatty-boom-batty-daddy of the internet.  Where can I donate?

Donations are nothin’ but good, and the only way we keep our heads above water month-to-month.  You can click here to donate to PayPal.  This site requires $$ to stay on its feet, so please help out – even a few bucks goes a long way.  Paypal jacks a little of the money but gives the rest to us.  Act now to give away money like a sucker, and pay for what everyone else gets for free!  Seriously tho, it’s really appreciated.  We’re not a pay site by any means, but every little bit helps.
Don’t hesitate to ask for demeaning acts in return for hefty donations...remember, we’re whores.  

damn you, paypal, you can't have my oral

What's this site's policy on advertising/pimping; can you guys link people to my page/project/forum/service?

Again, we don’t really censor here (only crap shack), so do as you please...we ask that if you intend to use our small forum to whore out your corner of the net, please be tasteful: at least hang around and talk a bit, if ya can.  We'll point people towards your site, forum, etc, but we don't do pop-up banners and all that, no matter the product.

We go to great lengths to help out our member’s respective projects; participate, and we’ll be more than happy to add your site/banner to our links section.  We’ve been known to hijack other site’s bandwidth (and sometimes members), so we’re not gonna be hypocrites about things.  

click here to get your college degree online

I have a question not answered here; how can I contact you?

Bound to happen...again, feel free to contact the board’s administrator:  
* Nicholas Custer – Irish Cowboy (Town Sheriff)
AIM: TheIrishCowboy13
ICQ: 17106508
I Don’t really use Yahoo or MSN messengers, but I also respond to certain smoke signals, giant “N” spotlights in my region, and cups connected by string (make sure I have one of the cups or it doesn’t work)

the turn tables might wobble, but they don't fall down

Hondo's @ Wikipedia (for like a day) | Hondo's @ Myspace | Hondo's @ Urban Dictionary | Metalhearts | Hot Costners | Hondo's @ |
Hondo's @ ComicspaceHondo's @ Friendster | Hondo's @ | Hondo's @ Niggaspace

so chill...till the next episode

Thanks for reading!!  

Hondo's Bar F.A.Q. 5.3x, by Nicholas Custer,  originally January 23rd 2004.
Copyright © 2001 Hondo's Bar™ All rights reserved (but not really).
Revised: January 01, 2009 .
big up to all of ya that read this far, even you crazy google-bots!