Sea Bear & Grizzly Shark

[Panch]

It’s like my grandfather always said, “Does a shark shit in the woods? Does a bear piss in the ocean?” Yeah, okay-he didn’t say that EXACTLY. But if he had, Sea Bear & Grizzly Shark would have backed him up.

 

I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking that a book with a title like this must be completely inundated with theories, facts, science and other wordy/boring things. It no doubt was just someone’s outlet to give their political opinion on serious matters facing the world today. You may be thinking that…OR you could be thinking that any book with that title must be completely insane. In that case, you’d be right.

 

Holy crap, this book was everything I dreamed it would be. A bear that lives in the ocean, a shark that lives on land. Two terrifying things, two absurd scenarios. For the sake of your sanity, just turn your mind off and read this book.

 

It’s stupid. In the first story is by Jason Howard. A child witnesses his parents being eaten by a Sea Bear. He does the whole “avenging the deaths of his parents” bit, somehow gets mechanical blade arms and sets out to see to kill the fuzzy thing. Sea Bear children and an cult-like religion are also involved. Just…just go with it.

 

Next story, done by Ryan Ottley, is about a man, his son and other hillbilly relatives out in the woods to hunt for the shark that keeps eating the cattle. This story made me laugh so hard just from the montage of people accidentally getting cut and Grizzly Shark appearing out of nowhere. See, ’cause sharks can sense blood from long distances? GET IT?! I’ll laugh every time I get a paper cut for the rest of my life. Unless I actually get attacked by a shark immediately following.

 

The creators also handle the art in each of their respective stories. It’s all done in black and white and I love it. Kind of gives it that classic horror movie feel where chocolate sauce can be used in lieu of blood. Both the stories have their fair share of blood and gore though. Amazing death scenes across the board. However, if i had to compare the two, I’d crown Ryan Ottley as the winner. I’m just crazy about that Grizzly Shark. To see the fin above the tops of the trees in the woods? Amazing. Does that mean the shark can fly? Oh, who cares. It makes for great panel work.

 

I genuinely don’t have much more to say about this comic. It made me feel happy. I repeatedly said, “This book is ridiculous” while reading it. It’s a one-shot from Image. It has a $4.99 price point. Seems like a lot for one book but you’re actually getting two books in one! It’s like Jaws (1975) and Grizzly (1976) only hilarious. Okay, Grizzly was hilarious but even more so if you put him in water! If you can appreciate stupid humor based on the threat of displaced animal attacks, then this is the comic for you.

 

Not the greatest comic I've ever read, but Hell if this isn't a brilliant idea. Check it out. It's funny.