A Hondonian

[the division of joy]

^some ol' bullshit right there.

if you don't think there's a DoJ-sized hole when you're absent, you're listening to the peanut gallery too much or not noticing how much your exchanges matter to me/chikinz/ames/even people you've sparred with like MH. one of my angles of beef with the current rep system is you might not feel as valued as you are even by that metric; meanwhile, lots of hondonians chat with you on IM and ive listened to/watched/played etc more than a few things on your say-so. i get it when other members (or the DoJ of years past) say they feel slept-on; but now? you're a fucking staple, make peace with it. you don't notice your niche 'cause it's yours & you made it yourself. years from now, there'll be a DoJ disciple that fills it.

 

 

that likely sounds like smoke up your ass only because you've not been around long enough to see it. we've got Jonts and King of Snakes and Da Judges etc on here now, whether they know it or not - ask Tulip, she's from preachers in 99 or so, i bet she's seen it.

 

Its not a matter of coming and going or being here. I've taken a break or two from here before and missed the place. Its just that I don't really know where my place is on here, but if you and others feel that way, then thats enough to make a salty cunt like me a happy man on here.

[archangel]

of course we love you, DoJ! and just to show you how much, I've taken the liberty of trying to make this place more friendly to your sensibilities:

 

 

 

God Save The Queen!

[the division of joy]

I couldn't hear you over the sound of how much of a workshy french you are.

[The NZA]

to continue the drunken rant, and take a break from getting killed by Catherine's sixth-night boss (fuck you, maldrons): a bit more on my vision for the future

 

i just got done writing a long PM to Jumbie on FB @ his library/future school in Guyana. the more i study/think on zen shit, the more i don't want to really subscribe to the linear model of how we tend to live our lives and dwell on time "spent" vs "wasted" - because if you're happy, that was the end goal, yeah? - but there are times i feel that if i read, listen, play etc and don't share, i'm back at the same point i was at the end of studying philosophy at the university: all theory, no action. it's all kind've quietly loved, but selfish, if i don't share some of it. only, the more i experience, the more i feel paralyzed like the Lt. in Farenheit 451 - you start to realize the subjectivity of things, and more and more, you know less and less...there's not much to pass on to the next person but follow your path & see where it leads, etc etc. i've told a few of you; i'd love to write a book once i had something to say.

 

but it's obvious more than a few of us would desperately like to have some element immortalized - be it a child or a story, something worth passing on. in this regard, whether he knows it or not, Jumbie has founded something in a small village outside the main city of his home country that has the momentum to outlive any of us, and do a tremendous amount of good - anyone who had one really good teacher in grade school and beyond knows this sentiment. doesn't matter if its naruto manga or this february's popular science, he's created a center based on teaching & encouraging both literacy and critical inquiry. the follow-through with an actual private school is a larger idea than i can even think of at the moment, as far as how much it can do to positively affect the world around him.

 

in that regard...i've not really done shit. I've volunteered at homeless shelters for years but never been persistent enough to say attend a town hall meeting on the local laws that make it harder on our least, because if i had the stomach/grit for that, id be a pro-bono lawyer or local politician or the like, rather than just talking the game, right? what i've got is a community i helped build and at best, co-founded with a good friend of mine, so yeah, 4 paragraphs later, for those still on board, let's talk about that.

 

we live in a society where many people i know/work with/talk to have 2 facebook accounts: one for friends/loved ones, one for work. this doesn't make them fake: the reality is, we have to have different personas to comfortably get by in our current setting. i can lament this all day, but the reasons for such are deep-rooted, and like any idea i don't like, they exist because most of us wake up each day and prefer them existing to them not, so the same paralysis applies. i'm not trying to sell a product or make people something they're not, so i work within the parameters we all accept.

 

let me give you an example that comes to mind to reaffirm this: years ago, when volunteering with a large local church to give clothes/food to the homeless, we ran into a roadblock. the local county was alarmed by the number of said community in the downtown area that showed up during the legally-allowed once a month timeslot we were afforded (after local legislators, taking a page as ever from gulliani's NY, said we had to be limited because we were "creating an environment that encouraged homelesness" - WTF, how good did these privileged motherfuckers think the soup was?), so i had this bright idea to make local rich high school kids knock out their community hours by donating & helping, so one night, we had an excess of hands, clothes, and food..but we showed up at the spot, to 4 people, and were told a community manager said we weren't coming, so most folks were sleeping in the shelters i now volunteer for. i was enraged, and demanded we go to said spots and drop off our goods - no good, i was told; insurance regulations say these shelters cant accept outside food & goods. okay, well, there's lots of people who those places can't numerically house, so lemme just drive my truck around downtown and drop shit off as needed - also no good, because local laws said that would be creating a disturbance, and i lacked the permit to do so, etc - even if i was somehow okay by being brought in, it would reflect on the church i got said goods from.

we ended up throwing away a lot of stuff. i admit, i ate a lot of the beans & soup that year because i was going through bankruptcy, and everyday, i was pissed at what had happened. and none of that changed a thing.

 

mind you, i'm not that great a person: i've been simply repaying a debt to a priest that helped pay for my prep school. my good intentions didnt last past those efforts. you see my point? and every provision, every bit of red tape that stopped us from making one night better in an otherwise hellish life, wasn't made by evil corporations or people we didn't elect into office down here - they were provisions made by local businesses that found they did poorly with beggars out front. i honestly don't know an answer to the problem, other than my childish notion that every effort to keep people hungry should be burned to the ground, and fuck the consequences, frankly. this is precisely why if i ever fuck up and end up in a leadership position beyond this forum, you should all vote me down. arch grew up reading the same bible passages i did, yeah? here's my favorite: "...cut down every tree that bears ill fruit." - Matthew 7:19-20, a passage that can easily be construed to produce exactly what TulipO stands for. that's my point.

 

i say all that to say this: there are awful things we all accept today because no one's thought of anything better. i'd love to be one of the people who offer an alternative, but frankly, i'm not that creative - don't let all those stolen ideas i post fool you. i very much want Hondo's to outlive me, but whether it's Yahve's name on the door or the next guy, the sentiment i want to exist here - and to extrapolate, if we only get more social networking sites that the rules of our society deem we have to front on to get by, continue to grow - i want this place to be a sanctuary where you can be who you are, or rather, who you want to be, if even for a moment between answering emails and lamenting life decisions.

 

the net will forever more have places to post the pictures of you at parties and climbing mountains and being awesome while saying things that won't offend; i want a quiet corner where google search can't see the things that matter and you can be you.

 

much love if you read this far, more if you feel it. lemme know your thoughts!

[the division of joy]

I know about the persona for different situations thing. It kinda makes me feel a bit meh about myself, especially if I can't feel like I'm being me in situations, but the more I do it the more I realise that maybe it is who I am but for certain situations. Its a clusterfuck.

[Dag]

 

i very much want Hondo's to outlive me, but whether it's Yahve's name on the door or the next guy, the sentiment i want to exist here - and to extrapolate, if we only get more social networking sites that the rules of our society deem we have to front on to get by, continue to grow - i want this place to be a sanctuary where you can be who you are, or rather, who you want to be, if even for a moment between answering emails and lamenting life decisions.

 

the net will forever more have places to post the pictures of you at parties and climbing mountains and being awesome while saying things that won't offend; i want a quiet corner where google search can't see the things that matter and you can be you.

 

much love if you read this far, more if you feel it. lemme know your thoughts!

 

Good post. Brings back some memories of Yahve vs. The Vagrant. It wasn't exactly one of my finer juvenile moments, but it does remind me how good you got some of us (me in particular) with that years April Fools prank and brings a smile to my face.

 

I am glad that so much of this place is blocked from google's massive, all-seeing eye.

[Mr. Hakujin]

Again, you put your heart out there, Nick. Well done. And while not necessarily the most linear posting of thoughts, I do indeed feel you, and that post gets my +1 for the day.

 

mind you, i'm not that great a person: i've been simply repaying a debt to a priest that helped pay for my prep school. my good intentions didnt last past those efforts.

 

must . . . resist . . . urge to post animated .gif