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G.I. Joe - Retaliation

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A few comments on the new trailer and upcoming sequel to Rise of Cobra:

* Destro and Baroness are noticeably absent. Minus.

* Also absent are Marlon Wayans' Ripcord and the hot yet mediocre actress that played Scarlet. Plus.

* Channing Tatum is apparently blown up in the first act of the film. OK, getting better.

* Number of ninjas in the film has increased. Oh, shit! Is it Jinx? Please let it be Jinx.

* It's Jinx. Yes!

* The Rock & Bruce Willis letting off cheesy one-liners and shooting big guns. Meh, it's worked before.

* Ray Stevensen as Firefly & RZA as Blind Master. I'll take my ticket now, please.



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  • 1 month later...
  • 2 months later...
  • 4 weeks later...
EXCLUSIVE: The sequel G.I. Joe: Retaliation was supposed to come out this summer on June 29th. But I’ve learned that Paramount is moving the movie nine months to March 29, 2013, to add 3D. “We’re going to do a conscientious 3D job because we’ve seen how it can better box office internationally,” one of the studio execs just told me. “Jim Cameron did all of Titanic‘s 3D in post – and look how well that movie turned out.” Paramount has had luck delaying films before: its decision to move Martin Scorsese’s Shutter Island gave the director his biggest box office hit ever. Also the execs say that the blockbuster performance of The Hunger Games shows that March can be a prime time of the year to release movies. Of course, Paramount had to talk its partners on GI Joe 2 into the extra nine months of carrying costs – MGM/Spyglass which has 25%, and David Ellison’s Skydance which has another 25%




Fuck 3D.

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It's not 3D that's to blame, it's Channing fucking Tatum



But the fact is that Paramount became extremely concerned about G.I. Joe 2‘s box office prospects worldwide after its test scores were mediocre to bad. Reshoots were needed. Plus, the moguls realized what a complete miscalculation it was to kill off Channing Tatum in the sequel. And even more so at the start of the film. You will remember that Tatum wasn’t a star when the first G.I. Joe was released. But since then his back-to-back successes in The Vow and 21 Jump Street have made him into a draw. And it turned out that the only bright spot for audiences as a result of the G.I. Joe 2 testing was the aborted relationship between Tatum and Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson. Plus look at the movie poster for Retaliation: you wouldn’t even know Tatum is in the sequel. Now the movie is being reworked — and reshoots don’t lose a valuable leading man like Tatum by killing him off. “The 3D is an excuse as to not reveal the Tatum of it all,” one of my sources tells me.



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  • 9 months later...

Well, they did at least try to make it better than the last one, but they didn't quite make it. I'd say it's on par w/ the last film. I saw it in 3D, but you can easily skip it. The only scene that even came close to being exceptional in 3D was the ninja fight scene in the mountains.


To be fair, it has been a few years since I've seen the last film, so possibly this one is slightly better--slightly. And I was going in to this one w/ higher expectations after seeing that ninja fight scene in the mountains; I was hoping this film would legitimize and raise the bar for GI Joe the way Nolan did for Batman. And my expectations were way too high. If you go in to the theater expecting a live action episode of the cartoon (However, not one as good as the Warren Ellis GI Joe: Resolute series.), you will likely enjoy the film much more than I did.


Some spoilerific things I really liked:


Lots of vehicles (or vehicles "inspired") from the 80s cartoon and toys:

* Rattler (although it was in use by the Joes)

* Cobra Commander's tweeked out mini-copter

* Moccasin airboat

* Dune buggy

* HISS Tank


Also, you get a brief glimpse of Cobra Commander w/out his mask, but the rest of the film he's full on faceplate. Too bad he's not in a lot of the film. Zartan, posing as the US Pres. is the main bad guy. No Destro or Baroness either. We do get a cameo by Walton Goggins as a scene chewing prison warden though.


Roadblock uses his big ass gun at least twice, and while he doesn't use rhymes or the accent (they gave it to Ray Stevenson as Firefly for some reason), there is mention of him being a "gumbo chef."


And Cobra has developed a genius "super weapon" to hold the world hostage. This time it's called Zeus and drops shit from space. You've seen it in the trailer.


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Aw it's way way better than that last movie. I had fun in this one. io9 said it best:


There’s a very simple test to figure out if you’re going to enjoy G.I. Joe: Retaliation. Imagine a kid, playing with his toys, creating an epic, albeit not entirely coherent adventure for them; then imagine someone turned everything that kid imagined into a big-budget movie. If that sounds horrible to you, don’t go see this movie.
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I was hoping this film would legitimize and raise the bar for GI Joe the way Nolan did for Batman.

Whoa whoa whoa...you thought a director whose biggest credits to date are the Justin Bieber concert movie and two of the Step Up movies...was going to do to G.I. Joe what the director of Memento was able to do with fucking Batman? That idea is so fucking bonkers, the only explanation is that Paramount incepted it into your mind while you were sleeping.

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I loved it! SO much better than I thought it would be. I saw it just because the movie time matched up with a hole in my day and I was thoroughly entertained. The last thing we need is for a movie like GI fucking Joe to be a self serious/morose bore like Nolan's Batman movies (flame war!). It's refreshing to see an action adventure movie not take itself too seriously and still be exciting. I actually think this guy is shaping up to be a super fun director. You can actually follow what the fuck is happening in the action scenes, it's not all just super fast cutting; the camera does some very neat panning around to follow the action and people do actual stunts. It's no coincidence that this guy has done a few dance movies and then this. He actually knows how to film movement on camera in an interesting way. I think the action in this was filmed in a way that blows something like Michael Bay's most recent stuff out of the water.


It's incredibly fun and completely ridiculous (any scene where we see snake eyes walking around in the real world is fucking preposterous and funny as hell to me) but never winks at the camera and generally plays it straight. The little bit of interplay we get between the rock and Channing Tatum is legitimately endearing and fun and I generally think the humor hits. I think it gets a lot of this right where the expendables faltered. The jokes are jokes within the movie, they are not jokes about how stupid it is to be watching the movie. Bruce Willis gets to play kind of a character with a couple of good lines that aren't just about him being Bruce Willis!


I don't know shit about the cartoon or comic, I'm sure they messed around with a lot but that wasn't really something I was concerned with. I will say this was almost the equivalent of watching a really rich kid play with toys for 2 hours, and I was very pleased with it. Anyway, I don't mean to rave so much about the sequel to the GI joe movie, but my ladyfriend and I were both beaming as we left theater, incredibly surprised with how much fun we had.

Edited by JunkerSeed
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Whoa whoa whoa...you thought a director whose biggest credits to date are the Justin Bieber concert movie and two of the Step Up movies...


But...but...did you see that fucking ninja mountain fight scene? I mean, it was a hope and not a belief. :unsure:


And I heard that Bieber movie was really good.

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See? there you go, i knew this would be a fun movie. I actually enjoyed the first one and seeing the trailers for this, it looks like a great popcorn flick. I don't know why so much bashing is going on here because you are not going in to see some epic or academy award winning movie.

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