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Cheez-it Election 2012


Who is the top cheese?  

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Snacking is for us all to enjoy. Be you spicy or mild, white or orange, soft or hard, there is a place in this world for everyone. I stand before you, as I always have, The People's Cheese.


Hot & Spicy

What kind of candidate is best equipped to fight for the issues that make snacking so cheese-filled and wonderful? Who will burn with the white-hot passion of a thousand hearts when it comes to standing up for the right to snack?


Cheddar Jack

Snacking was founded on freedom, and I'll be darned if I had to sit idly by and let the world become a place where a fella can scowl at another for grabbin' a fist full of cheesy goodness whenever the mood strikes him. That's what it's all about folks.



White Cheddar

People, let us return to a simpler time. Let us trade our youthful indiscretion for peace and quiet. It's time to let cheese be cheese again!



Pepper Jack

I may not be the sharpest cheese in the room, but seems to me like I'm the perfect combination to get snackers everywhere excited. Seems to me like there's no better choice to help run the show.


Baby Swiss

While my cheese does in fact have holes, I can assure you that my character does not. I boast youth, vigor, and a nose for flavor that the other candidates simply cannot roll with


Italian Four Cheese

I have always been one to stand behind choice and variety. I also stand before you as the perfect blend of Parmesan, Romano, Mozzarella and Asiago, working together, in flavor-filled harmony, to accomplish a common goal.



The future ahead is a bright one, full of promise and a mild flavor. We must overcome our complacency or crumble at the feet of progress.







Vote or Die!

Edited by Thelogan
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typical newjack baby-swiss votes. it's all hope & change until he's showing his true limburger side.


how can you not vote for colby? he's been down for the people since wheat thins and the cookie market were viable contenders, and he'll be there long after these delicious 2-for-1-shit-economy sales end. he's the people's cheese because you can count on him.

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You're actually buying that bullshit? I've got some prime swampland to sell you.

Colby's campaign has been financed by known racist groups, a bit of a contradiction to his "I accept everyone" slogan. He's been financially viable only because he has a history of giving contract exclusivity to Longhorn, which is a type of Colby. Yeah, Colby is just like you, unless you're gay, black or Brie.

Is that a world you want to live in? Where perfectly qualified job applicants are passed over in order to fill a quota for semi-hard, mild cheese laborers?


How do you sleep at night knowing this is your candidate?



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All of those pics are taken out of context, and nothing shy of complete intellectual dishonesty.


but let's not debate the facts about traditional cheese; better to let the lamestream media make up everyone's minds in this echo chamber.


i'm personally a bit disappointed in you sally logans, and i hope your legal team is up to snuff

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  • 2 weeks later...

Colby's at that # 2 spot on the poll that matters.


it's like a new day; everywhere, americans are waking up and (re)embracing good, traditional values. looking forward to elite lamestream media spinning this into some support campaign for white "supremacy" cheddar, their celebrity darling.

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  • 2 months later...


BULLSHIT! I demand a recount. There was talk of hanging curds in Florida.


That's it. i can't live in this country anymore. Now that pinko-commie fucking Hot & Spicy is in charge, the day of a free America will be something we tell our multi-limbed mulatto children about.

Enjoy your jobs while you can people, because a fucking immigrant is going to be doing it for less this time next year.

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