Jump to content
Hondo's Bar

Recommended Posts

So I've long been confused and irritated by question threads and the false distinctions folks occasionally make in their fairly mainstream perspectives but here before you is a genuine sideshow freak.


If you've ever wondered how your toaster feels about the relationship you have with your pet, or what a streetlight thinks about PDAs, I'm still embracing my inflamed sense of alienation and have no problem sharing my perspective with you soft-brained little monkeys if you have such burning enquiries.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Straight out the gate... I immediately regret this decision


I'll straight up disclaim that all answers are opinion-based. you have Google for genuine answers.


We still got monkeys because every school has it's shortbus. Marvel 616 still has flatscans, amirite?


I'll be honest, I don't actively barrack one way or the other on Creationism V Evolution. Wait, what I mean is Creationism is the chinese whisper handed down from generation to generation of Saudi hopheads(no offence, religious guys) and eventually collected into a semi-cohesive volume of snuff porn and weakly-phrased parables. Does the Old Testament even pretend to have a message? I should go find an ask thread for that.


How does my computer feel about my obsession with memes?


Benz, all apologies for the above. I'm sure you know it's not a mockery of you and your beliefs per se, just the institution it's represented by. Plus I didn't aspect you to be here so sharpish


Your PC's pretty cool with the memes, you just really need to folder them better because opening My Pictures and just seeing grid after grid of Advice Dog & LOLcats is really messing with it's RAM.

Edited by The JZA
  • Upvote 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Your teeth are fucked because bad teeth are the most aggressive of British genes, and they've been poisoning your genepool for Centuries. We got their inability to play organised sports and stupid accents.


Also, your sody might be too cold.

Edited by The JZA
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Better writer: Kirkman or a refrigerator?


A Fridge is much more relatable but damnit he did Invincible. Having said that a Fridge doesn't cry when I put my meat in it. :drumroll:


Toaster vs. toaster oven, who wins?


Toasters give us evenly-toasted crumpets but toaster ovens give us grilled cheese. Simple arithmetic says Toaster Ovens are the way of the future.


If jews run the media and control the banks and own the world, why do they bitch so much??


Because you want them to pay HOW MUCH for their latkes?


I think the plight of the jewish people can be summed up with a joke posted in another thread around here: Why are Jewish men circumcised? Because Jewish women want 20% off everything.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

In your view, is it better to be too empathetic, or not empathetic at all?

Assuming a middle ground is out of the question.


Bah-BOOM! This is the kind of shit I wanted to tackle!


Well, 'empathic' without prefix or suffix is a completely acceptable middle ground, and I believe it's the key to making humanity less of a collective dickhole.


Having said that, I'm obviously no expert on organic empathy or the basic instinct you folks have. What I have is effectively a filing system of learned behaviours, traits and responses picked up from tv & interpersonal observations that I draw on to try to see things from what I can really only assume to be other people's perspectives(I assure you this comes into play moreso in RL than online, but then reading that shit off a page is harder than guaging personal reactions to certain stimulus, but then there's personalities I just don't care to try seeing their POV and therefore proceed like a cock anyway).


My belief is that too much empathy really prevents a person from getting anything done because they're too busy being involved needlessly in other people's business or at best, not tending to their own emotional and mental growth. Not enough/no empathy is how you get inconsiderate cunts who cut you off in traffic or perpetrate any number of dickish human behaviours because they're too involved in their own concerns and not looking at the bigger picture(see also: The problem of the commons*).


TL;DR(and I've deleted a lot of content to try to keep this punchy but apologies): A little bit of Empathy would go a long way to making the world a better place. Assuming as you do that there IS no middle ground? I can't honestly decide if I want to live in a world filled with sadsacks or inconsiderate pricks. Ya stumped me(and I have therefore failed. g'night).




*tip of the hat to I wanna say Tu or Baytor for bringing that handy term to my attention in the too many people thread.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hey there, JZA! Long time listener, first time caller. So I wanted to ask, at what point between June 25, 2009 and August 3, 2012 did you become such a blubbering pussy who somberly respects the dead and the mourning? I mean, do you remember the exact day in which your dick just feel off? Thanks for taking my question, love the show!


One thing I can't abide is death-worship. Now, some of you are of the opinion that at the time of death, we should forget for a moment what cunts the living are and get all teary-eyed because lord knows, if we milk enough sympathy maybe we'll get our dicks sucked and in most cases, our peers will respect us more for how hard we mourn. I've been to my share of funerals and witnessed the aftermath and we've all seen that small contingent of leeches who barely knew the deceased but will sob and milk all the fucking sympathy they can: Well I content that one's no different from the other. Sure the dead celebrity made some worthwhile contributions to >insert relevant field<, but you didn't fucking know 'em, so unless you were waiting on that long-anticipated #9 of Battle Chasers, they're not worth your hot, salty tears and you're a fucking whore for pretending they are.


Now MJ, who may infact not be dead but may have simply gone to the Children's Ward of the Hospital for a stroke, is getting all this crybaby mourning and wahwah-thriller this-wahwah bs, when yesterday people were still more than happy to joke about his indiscretions. you fucking tell me what's changed and why we can't be honest about him today


The intent of this thread is for those of you/us who aren't all caught up in passive-agressive death worship or sympathy mongering, and simply wish to talk honestly about the goddamned dead.

R.I.P. Was it 04 or 05 with the boobsig insurrection? Sadly that's my best frame of reference for the guy. Well that and I wanna say Heartless getting butthurt about said sig or screen name? Seemed like good people.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hey there, JZA! Long time listener, first time caller. So I wanted to ask, at what point between June 25, 2009 and August 3, 2012 did you become such a blubbering pussy who somberly respects the dead and the mourning? I mean, do you remember the exact day in which your dick just feel off? Thanks for taking my question, love the show!


I your question like any other post of your Jax, which is to say like a bear's phallus up my rectum. I take a deep breath, bite down hard on my leather belt and think of the lyrics to 'Stiff Upper Lip' the whole time. Now onto your question: Celebrity death and mourning among the civvies is a bit different to personal tragedy/someone you knowing dying.


The post you've quoted(thanks for the reference) focusses on celebrity death with minor reference to the people I'm confident we all know who are horrible attention-seekers. To directly answer your question the thing that's changed in the intermittent period is: I learned that I'm missing key things that others(not you Jax. One of us, one of us) have and that it's possible my worldview isn't the sterling example of objectivity I thought it was at that time. Also? See the above post about empathy. Most importantly I learned that my communication skills weren't up to snuff and that maybe what I was trying to communicate wasn't coming across as intended.


in the year 2012, were MJ to die and I really wanted to call NZA a girl for it, I'd just point out that the guy made Dangerous and was probably terrified of black people. Were I moved to rant at length about attention-whores, I'd know at least to make clear the distinction I see between celebrity death and a personal loss that I can see academically at least, that your guys are feeling in the case of Oppai.




I see you got that sandwich you deserved after all. Tell me: is the other slice of white bread Lee Marvin talking about how good your ma's pussy tastes?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Fun game for the kids playing at home: My last post is missing the words 'take' and 'mourning'. See if YOU can find where they belong.


@NZA- Yeah even as I was typing it I felt bad for shining on that album. It was actually one of my first cassette purchases alongside C&C Music Factory's seminal Gonna Make you Sweat, but as a casual listener it was probably the weakest album I could think of.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Did a quick bit of very rewarding research so I could come off slightly less half-cocked than normal(because belief systems are kind of a cheat sheet for people like myself who lack instinct and ability to read people and therefore fascinate me). Helluva question too.


Now pardon if my quick-reads have me going off bad intel but I like to think I understand the elements in play here. Taoism spoke volumes to me. The way I understand it to be living with nature and effectively drawing on that energy to make one'self an extension of that very real power? Off-track but I've always fantasised about teleportation systems that effectively worked the same way, tapping into the planet itself and somehow converting our mass into an energy that could travel through the arteries of the host planet to pretty much come out anywhere(sorry for the poorly thought out sidebar). Were it not for the fact that my most basic symptom is that disconnect from humanity and I guess then the Earth I'd absolutely be a Taoist(I was only thinking recently I'd love to pick up a non-theistic belief system to try bringing some context to my life aside from percieving it as a sitcom- another quick sidebar: The timing of that thought and your question is why in spite of everything else I believe in kismet). Here's the rub though: Even though I consider myself 'not tao' because of that basic disconnect, Is it possible I could make an even better Taoist(stupid term but I hope you see what I'm shooting for) by that same virtue? I guess it's one of those classic 'the outsider who exemplifies the philosophy, like Tom Hagen or something I guess.


Bhuddism seems a little more vague(by which I mean 'more open to interpretation') and I know this is your jam so feel free to correct me. I know I could have gone to your thread to get some answers but as stated previously, I just took in some quick reference to answer your question as directly as possible(3 paragraphs later we're off to a flying start. Or middle). Alright, just read a little more and forget the vague thing. It has a fairly well-defined set of guiding precepts that are more or less universal(which lets be honest is what you want in a belief system. Good luck explaining Leviticus to a martian), my gripe with Bhuddism though(and now that I think on it Taoism too) is it doesn't account for Western society and it's over-abundance of shitty human beings(from what I've seen). Look, no offence to your personal beliefs and for what it's worth, I'm not crediting 'saudi hopheads' in it's origins but... Bhuddism speaks less to me personally than Taoism because I guess Taoism is rooted in the Earth(heh) and focusses on harmony and symmetry, whereas Bhuddism speaks more to how you deal with your fellow man, most of whom I could care less about. I've always said though, that you guys are the most patient religion and you certainly picked the heaviest lifting in making the world a better place.


Gonna get crass for a sec and say that rational Atheism gave me a big boner. Seriously. Why the hell can't people be like this?. Notsomuch in terms of refuting the idea of God and not being an insufferable a-hole about it, but just in terms of dealing with facts and rational thinking and not being a complete a-hole about it. Having said that I know there are a few Atheists around here who aren't complete douches(not you Jax), but in terms of day to day living people could do a lot worse than embracing science and formula and not getting a sad because there's no warm & fuzzy element.


TL;DR answer- Everyone's different and I guess some people want a guiding principle and others don't(I will say God is absolutely a concept of man, irrespective of whether the opposite is true). I personally would find Taoism very fulfilling were I not a robot(I'm not ruling it out though), but just knowing it's out there is somewhat comforting.


I've been mulling over the basic question this entire time and can't honestly give you an answer because people are so differently motivated in my experience. In my perfect world where everyone moves in perfect harmony like Swiss clockwork though, we'd all be Taoists. Sure there'd be no scientific advancement or development and we'd probably be raped to death for a generation or two before we were wiped out by the first extra-terrestrial species who came along, or maybe by bears, but rational Atheism still allows for man to build better ways for man to be a dickhole. I just wanna take away all your toys to make you better people*




*Tip of the hat to Bhuddism for acknowledging that people are generally better when they have less though.

Edited by The JZA
  • Upvote 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Create New...