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Hondo's Bar

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"Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!"

 

"Dear Lord: The gods have been good to me. For the first time in my life, everything is absolutely perfect just the way it is. So here's the deal:

You freeze everything the way it is, and I won't ask for anything more. If that is OK, please give me absolutely no sign. OK, deal. In gratitude, I present you this offering of cookies and milk. If you want me to eat them for you, give me no sign. Thy will be done."

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Lisa: Why didn't you write to me?

Brazilian Boy: I tried to, but I couldn't figure out what state you lived in!

Lisa: It's a bit of a mysteery, I'll admit, but if you piece all the clues together, you can figure it out!

 

Bart: (Going through Skinner's paperwork) Look, it says he makes $25,000 a year! Let's see, he's 40 years old, so 40 times 25000 (punching into a calculator, then handing the calculaor to Milhouse)

Milhouse: He's a millionaire!

Skinner: I was principle when I was one year old!

Bart: plus it says he paints houses in the summer!

Milhouse: He's a billionaire!

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Belle: This place is called the Maison Derriere.  That means the...ummm.... the backhouse.

 

Abe walks in whistling, hangs his hat and coat, walks to the door, sees Bart, turns around, grabs his coat and his hat and walks out the door, then opens it again:

 

Abe: Is your name Bart?

Bart: Yep

Abe: Ahhh dangit!  Does your father know you work here?

Bart: It was his idea.

Abe: *hangs his coat and hat again* in that case give me a bourbon whiskey

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Sideshow Bob: I renew my hatred for television!  Informally now and by affidavit later!

***later***

Bob: By the way I am well aware of the irony of appearing on television in order to decrive of it, so no need of pointing it out.

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Marge: I think that John, err, prefers the company of men...

Homer: Who doesn't!

 

Another gem from that conversation:

 

Homer: Think of the property value, Marge! Now we can never say that only straight people have been in this house!

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It's not Simpsons so sorry if this is off-topic, but what do people think of Futurama? It never seems to be much appreciated but I love it! Maybe it doesn't quite match up to The Simpsons but it has some genuinly great moments. I especially love Zoidberg - he's so pathetic and useless it's hilarious.

 

(Being held at knifepoint by a lunatic)

"Hooray, I'm helping!"

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  • 2 weeks later...

I loved the scene when Apu and James Woods look through security cam footage and you see Apu tiptoeing back and forth waving his hands like wings pretending to be a hummingbird and going "WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE".  Man I cracked up each time!

 

As for Futurama, I think it is an allright show, but nowhere near as awesome as the Simpsons.  Same opinion for King of the Hill.

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Zoidberg is the best. Bender is great too, but after watching it for a while Zoidbrg's patheticness remains fresher. Just imagining him yelling "Hooray!" is enough to make me start giggling in the middle of doing something completely unrelated.

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[Random lines you had to watch the episode to get]

"Joe Joey Jojo...that's a horrible name!"

"Aww, its true! *sobs*"

"Joey JoJo wait come back!"

 

*Homer reads hand*

"Ok, there's something ive been meaning to tell you..."

*Massive-handed guy reads hand*

"..and i'm sick and tired of these hand jokes! I think it all began back in 1978..."

 

[/Random lines you had to watch the episode to get]

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HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! I love that huge hand scene!

 

Monty Burns:  Dogs are filthy and disgusting!  Tell me Smithers, if I was to slobber all over your shoes and sniff at your crotch all day, how would you feel?

Smithers: Uhhhh, if you did it sir?

 

Smithers: No one gets what they want sir

*blurb appears and Burns comes out of a cake naked wearing a sash singing* Happy Birthday Mr. Smithers

Smithers *eyes closed with a smirk on his face* Mmmmmm

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*Homer's twin dressed in a tuxedo and wearing a top hat and monicle*

 

Homer Twin: "Might I trouble you for a drink?"

Moe: "Homer you can't fool us with that stupid costume, get out."

Homer Twin: "Homer???  I am not Homer, I am Mr. Incognito."

 

*Homer's twin is tossed out to the street and Homer walks by"

 

Homer: "Heeeey, this man looks exactly like me!" *looks at a dog across the street* "WHOA!!!  That dog's got a puffy tail!!!!*

Homer: *chases the dog down the street* "HEHEHEHEHEHEHE here puff!  pere puff!"

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  • 2 weeks later...

"These kids these days, they dont appreciate jazz! With all their hippin, and their hoppin, and the bippin, and the boppin...

its like jello pudding pops...no, no! Its like Kodak film..."

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  • 1 month later...

*Moe picks up the phone, thinkin its a prank caller*

 

"Alright you, when i get my hands on you, i'm gonna rip out your eyeballs and shove 'em down your pants, so's you can see me, while i'm kickin' the crap out of you!"

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