*MisSarah* Posted November 23, 2004 Share Posted November 23, 2004 YES I AGREEEEEEE 1000000000%! sometimes when i guy is too sweet he can be the biggest dawg! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benz Posted November 23, 2004 Share Posted November 23, 2004 That's actually not much to ask at all. In fact, that's just the basics of having a relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*MisSarah* Posted November 23, 2004 Share Posted November 23, 2004 it may not be too much to ask for but it seems impossible to find a relationship without lies and or cheating! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigChiefSlapaho Posted November 23, 2004 Share Posted November 23, 2004 Leesten, Annie. You want me to say things to you like the moon and the stars. Idiot. I don't have time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
La Lindsay Posted November 23, 2004 Share Posted November 23, 2004 lol, no i just meant that it's lame that girls think that's what they should be expecting from a guy. and guys think that's what we expect from them. i can explain this better in person. i suck at writing down my thoughts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*MisSarah* Posted November 23, 2004 Share Posted November 23, 2004 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
La Lindsay Posted November 23, 2004 Share Posted November 23, 2004 exactly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benz Posted November 23, 2004 Share Posted November 23, 2004 Trust me, guys that don't cheat or lie are out there. I'm proof of that, as are some of the other members of this board. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The NZA Posted November 23, 2004 Author Share Posted November 23, 2004 Cheating...yes, there's guys who wont. Lying...this depends. You mean the little lies we tell to save stupid arguments, or the important ones? example: "is she prettier than me?" - unless youre chick's really down, you cant be honest here. Girls know when the other one's prettier, or at least they know what you find pretty. This retarded question could turn into an all-afternoon conversation, and you got plans. Plus, women want you to lie here. vs "before we do this, do you have any diseases?" - prolly the sorta thing you should be honest about. I mean, she's gonna know eventually. im fond of a morally black & white world too, its why i dont date much. Just a side note. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
defgoddess Posted November 23, 2004 Share Posted November 23, 2004 well if you're a dumb enough chick to ask those kind of questions, you deserve to be lied to. is she prettier than me... wtf is wrong with chicks. i'm hoping lindsay means like lying as in "oh baby i'm single" while having a wife and kids on the side. or like "oh she's just my... cousin". i dunno. im fond of a morally black & white world too, uh... black and white how so? ... just curious is all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daytripper Posted November 23, 2004 Share Posted November 23, 2004 phhsssh.... Why don't you take out some time in your busy day to ask yourself what you really value in a person. Personality? Humor? Looks? Relationship in family? Beliefs? If you know what you want in someone you got to stick to it. Maybe a bit of compromising, but stop expecting so much from someone you barely know. And besides, being pessimistic will only sour your relationship. If a guy have enough nerves to be cheating on you or lying about things, maybe you should look for people that act more mature. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
La Lindsay Posted November 23, 2004 Share Posted November 23, 2004 yeah, i'm talking about the lies that matter. not trivial ones. and i think that it's not being pessamistic but realistic. a lot of people cheat. guys and girls. it sucks but it seems like it's retarded to be in a relationship if you're going to cheat. why not just be single and date around (although i've heard the theory that when guys get a girlfriend all of a sudden they're hit on a lot more by girls). but that's beside the point. (i apologize beforehand for getting maybe a little too analytical of this, but...) my real point that i was trying to explain before was that i think girls are trying to send guys a message as to how to fit some sort of universal perfect boyfriend/mate mold like these "26 things" demonstrate. if all guys were the same in how they showed affection, that would be pretty fucking boring i think. why can't guys show affection in their own ways? for example, i took this gender class that made a good point. some research was done where couples were interviewed on what kind of things they do for each other to show affection. i may have posted this story before the crash but i'll tell it again. in one interview this woman was dissatified with her husband b/c he never got her flowers or jewelry,etc. she confronted him and told him that he never did anything thoughtful or nice for her. so he washed and waxed her car for her. she got even more pissed while he genuinely thought she would be really happy. this is what i'm talking about. i think women have this preconceived notion of the types of things that are acceptable for showing care. now, i can see that this dude really did something nice for his wife but she's just didn't see it that way. it's retarded. that's why this 26 things a perfect man would do is so stupid. yeah some of them are nice, but i think it's cooler for a guy to do something that he thinks is a nice or affectionate gesture. it's more personalized that way instead of being so cookie cutter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The NZA Posted November 23, 2004 Author Share Posted November 23, 2004 Wow, that's a pretty good analogy there, LL...i can see where the guy really thought he was doin good, and the chick felt misunderstood & got even more upset, ive fallen into that more than a few times. An ex once helped sew pookie (my old bear) back together for me, and its only now i realize what a nice thing she did there. Def - just a moral reflection on simpler times that never really existed, like watchin old John Wayne movies 's all. i dont think anyone can deny life'd be easier if things were morally b&w, its just that theyre not. A passin observation, nothin more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reverend Jax Posted November 23, 2004 Share Posted November 23, 2004 uh... black and white how so? ... just curious is all. Nick is pro-segregation. But yeah, I remember Nick saying once "If a chick asks me 'does these pants me look fat?', I'm saying 'No, all your excess fat make you look fat!'" That was great. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
defgoddess Posted November 23, 2004 Share Posted November 23, 2004 haha yeah that is good... i'll allow it! but yeah, just wondering is all nick, it'd be nice if things were clearly presented to us, but i guess that's the point of life, gotta make shitty hard decisions, lol. but it's a comfort sometimes to think about. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuperEeyore Posted November 23, 2004 Share Posted November 23, 2004 Nick Pookie is still alive...I met you 3 years ago, and he looked like he was going to die. Wow.,.I want to see him next time I come over for poker. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reverend Jax Posted November 23, 2004 Share Posted November 23, 2004 Yo, Lindsay, yes if you do something YOU think is nice, that's good hearted, but in a relationship there is certainly something to be said for knowing what the other person like/what would make them happy. I'm not talking about jewelry or flowers. Have you ever gotten a gift that you didn't realize you wanted, but you really did? Like, if someone asked you 'what would you like as a gift' and you say 'I dunno, maybe blah, blah or blah', but you end of recieve a better gift than you could of thought of for yourself? That kind of things gives you a really warm feeling, like you're with someone that gets you better than you get yourself. Again, this guy from your story, his gesture was clearly kind in nature, but I think it kinda shows that he doesn't get her (and she doesn't get him either, or she wouldn't have gotten upset at him). I agree with you that there is no point in having a relationship if you're going to cheat, but I don't think there's any point to having a relationship of the other person doesn't get you, at least enough to avoid the kind of stupidity that occur in your story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dante Posted November 23, 2004 Share Posted November 23, 2004 There shouldn't be standards as to how a person should and shouldn't behave (except the cheating and the lies). It's not how you should act. It's about how you want to act, what you feel. We have these things set in our minds that "it should be this way" "i should do this", when you should say "I want to do this". And I'm sure we all like the little gestures of kindness, but they don't mean anything if they aren't sincere. The guy washing and waxing the car for the girl had two or more sides Guy: "I'm sorry I haven't done anything for you recently, let me make it up to you." Girl: "You're just trying to do something nice now so that I stop bitching." or Guy: "I'll wash her car so that she'll shut up." Girl: "He's finally doing something he should be doing." In both cases there isn't communication of wants and desires. And there seems to be a lack of affection. The guy should want to do things for his girl and vice versa. I dunno, I think I derailed a bit. I'll stop now... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
La Lindsay Posted November 23, 2004 Share Posted November 23, 2004 that's not what i meant. this is why i don't like explaining myself online. or in person. i wish people could just walk around in my brain. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The NZA Posted November 23, 2004 Author Share Posted November 23, 2004 Dont say that; people litter too much outside of your head. Nick Pookie is still alive...I met you 3 years ago, and he looked like he was going to die. Wow.,.I want to see him next time I come over for poker. aw, you thought he wasnt doin so well...? well, good luck; heartless stole him like a year ago, she's stupposed to be lookin after him. in his stead, i have his thug grrlfriend, pookita. Ill introduce you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*MisSarah* Posted November 23, 2004 Share Posted November 23, 2004 maybe if we all lie and cheat we wont know the diffrence!? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The NZA Posted November 23, 2004 Author Share Posted November 23, 2004 ive met people - guys and grrls boht - that assume thats how it is anyway, unless told otherwise. Its why i specify (if im takin it seriously) that it shoudlnt be like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dante Posted November 23, 2004 Share Posted November 23, 2004 we can all live without the cheating. it's not necessary. if you don't want to be with the person your with then leave them. And the lies, that's a gray area. because even a little white lie can become black. I think if both people are honest, plus there's trust, then there should be no problems. I mean really, show me a scenario where people benefit from cheating on one another or lying to each other. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*MisSarah* Posted November 23, 2004 Share Posted November 23, 2004 there is no such scenerio..but that doesnt stop people from doin it...now im not trying to be all synical and say all guys cheat..but sometimes i think that(i know its wrong!) most of them do eventually...i know thats a typical girl thing to say..but every guy ive ever know has cheated on there girl friends before. im not sayin ALL guys cheat but i do have major trust isssues.... my dad cheated on my mom and my stepmom...my brother cheated on his gf..i dunno maybe its cuz the males in my life SUCK, that i have such a negative outlook on things..the funny thing is ive never been cheated on (that i know of) but then again i havent really had real relationships either...dammit im confused! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dante Posted November 23, 2004 Share Posted November 23, 2004 It's all about that typical "guy" machismo. I couldn't really tell you why it is that people cheat. Maybe because they are just missing that sexual flavor in their relationship but get everything else in it, so they stay in the relationship but they still cheat to get that kink. *shrugs* I figure, if we do our job right and take care of each other in every aspect, then there wouldn't be a need for cheating. Like I said, I couldn't tell you why, but I have some idea. I guess all we can do is try to be honest with each other. I know you aren't talking about all men but it's hard when that's all you see and hear around you. You can believe me that there are still a few of us around if that's any comfort. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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