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I disagree with you both.  

I still get to read it cause it's not like it won't be within my reach, but yes, it was stolen by Panch.

Wait, weren't you like a sperm in the 90's? You would've had to have been there then to understand it now.     Amazing.

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This week in superdickery in early Spider-Man issues: Black Widow shows up for no good goddamn reason. She decides that since she has no identity of her own she's going to plagiarize Spider-Man's powers. She first changes her costume (which consists of a fishnet body stocking as well as matching purple gloves, boots, one-piece bathing suit, cape, and a domino mask with horns) to the now classic skin-tight black catsuit, concho belt, and wrist gun... things and then decides if she plans to steal Spider-Man's schtick she has to go beat him in a fight.

 

So Spider-man's trying very hard to keep Gwen Stacy* from finding out he's Spider-Man and dealing with the loss of his powers. He's shambling along the skyline of New York with all the grace of a wounded water buffalo when she decides to attack him. He is, unsurprisingly, not cool with this. He manages to fight her off and then it reveals that this was a backdoor pilot for a new Black Widow series.

 

So lets tick off the list:

1. The Avengers invite him to the mansion to consider him for membership. After being treated hostile by the half the members, insulted by the Wasp, and outright goaded into a fistfight by Hawkeye they decide the best way to initiate him is for him to go capture the Hulk on his own.

 

2. The Human Torch is a dick and Spider-Man fights him and then eventually the entire Fantastic Four who come to Johnny's aid even though they saw him being a dick.

 

3. Ka-Zar shows up to New York, takes Jonah Jameson's word that Spider-Man is evil immediately then steal's a guy's grappling hook. Chases him down, beats him up, and then gets all pissed off because people are scared of his giant killer tiger and wanders off before he can help deal with the Spider-Slayer.

 

4. Medusa attempts to broker peace between humans and inhumans by being an aloof bitch who clearly sees humans as lesser creatures than herself.

 

5. Quicksilver, the fastest man in the world, doesn't have time to read a fucking newspaper.

 

6. Black Widow is the Led Zeppelin of superheroes.

 

The following issue involves Spider-Man running around town acting like Nicolas Cage on a cocaine binge because he has the flu. The highlights are when he breaks into a jewelry store and steals a pearl necklace before having a "What the fuck am I doing?" moment. Then he shows up an hour late to Gwen's birthday party wild-eyed and covered in sweat, holding Spider-Man's mask and saying "Spider-Man's career is over! I know this because I am him!" he then immediately LEAVES THE PARTY without another word. After getting better he convinces his buddy The Prowler to put on his costume and show up to clear Peter's name. This somehow doesn't tip off The Prolwer that Peter Parker is Spider-Man.

 

Also every time Gwen gets understandably upset with Peter for spending a max of 15 minutes with her every day, her constantly-pipe-smoking father (who despite being retired spends more time at the police station than people who actually work there) puts a hand on Peter's shoulder and basically just shrugs and goes "Bitches, man. You know how they be." Mary Jane no longer speaks exclusively in dated 60s slang which breaks my heart because it was hilarious, Harry Osbourne's Fu Manchu sadly only lasted a couple issues because it made him look even more like a rapist, Aunt May still appears to have Alzheimer, dementia, and a severe case of mental retardation.

 

*On Gwen Stacy: I have no idea why she is such a celebrated part of Peter's life that so many writers come back to. She has the patience of a fucking saint but her role in the story is little more than a younger sexier Aunt May to worry over Peter every issue. Maybe in the next 30 issues she'll vastly improve but they'd better hurry because I'm at Issue 88 and she's dead by 121.

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Thank you for showing me the light. Doing something Nick could never do for all these years...

 

i came to your country and took you through an overpriced comic shop in dublin. that's about as far as my dedication goes, man.

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Thank you for showing me the light. Doing something Nick could never do for all these years...

 

I should put that shit in my signature.

 

2track: I agree, but it's not like he's decided that his next comic outing should be the first volume of New Warriors or something. Y is a damn fine book.

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2track: I agree, but it's not like he's decided that his next comic outing should be the first volume of New Warriors or something.

 

You choose your fucking audience, Logan.

 

 

newwarriors.jpg

 

Penance-schmenanch, there's only one DARK Speedball.

 

 

I remember when Nick sold me on Y and to be honest the first trade didn't really do it for me. I'm very happy I didn't jump ship and stayed with it until the end but it took me a while. It's time to get all Nasty Nas in here:

 

Now let me take a trip down memory lane. . .

 

 

Okay, I usually always trust your opinion IC but Y...just didn't do it for me...I dunno. That being said I've only read the first trade. I can't read comics on the computer, it just makes me feel yucky, but I need to know should I drop $15 on the second trade....

 

Okay, so I reread "Unmanned" the other night and I must say I'm sorry for passing such a quick judgement. I'm hooked now. I just have t'steal the following issues as my money ain't funny...

 

Okay, I gots the second trade on saturday (I felt dirty just taking the free comics and had to buy something) and it was great. I really gotta get 'em all. I don't know why I ever disliked it...

 

So DoJ, my advice to you is if you don't take to it straight away like me, stick with it. Oh the follies of youth. . .

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This week's winners:

 

Amazing Spidey #689

Animal Man #11

AvX #7

Batman: Detective Comics #11 (morbid, morbid curiosity similar to All-Star Goddamn Batman)

Before Watchmen: Ozymandias #1 (suck it, Moore!)

Danger Club #3

Earth 2 #3

Fathom: Kiani #3 (keepin it real for Mike Turner, yo - pour out some liquor)

Fury MAX #4

Infernal Man-Thing #1

Invincible #93

Spawn #221 (had to - look at this cover...)

 

IMG120257.jpg

 

Thief of Thieves #6 (this book boring any one else?)

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First I want to make everyone (especially Ross) know that Chew's Poyo has his own spin-off series:

 

Poyo4.png

 

Hack-Slash 17

Venom 20

Space Punisher 1

The Walking Dead 100

Stitched 6

Edited by Iambaytor
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