Ganny McVagflaps Posted January 31, 2007 Share Posted January 31, 2007 Proper order. In fact, it kinda makes me wanna have a Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jumbie Posted January 31, 2007 Share Posted January 31, 2007 "I command you to WANK." ? I think I had a headmaster like that once... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jumbie Posted February 3, 2007 Share Posted February 3, 2007 (edited) Everyone loves the 'kake. Everyone... Edited February 3, 2007 by Jumbie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newtype Posted February 3, 2007 Share Posted February 3, 2007 Scholars are in agreement that Superman Is A Dick and here is a classic example of the evidence. But look closely. Not only is The Man Of Steel acting like a Dick, he clearly has none. Not convinced? Superman wears red trunks yet check any early panel or cover illustration him and it is always the same: the Black Shading of Shame and no hint whatsoever of a SuperBulge. In later comics, the black shading is removed, and Superman is forced to draw attention up from his now clearer flatness with a ludicrous new hairdo. This explains a lot . Though there are plenty of "imaginary" stories in which he fathers offspring with his imaginary dick; and alternative universe tales were his alternate be-dicked counterparts further the Jor El line; the best Superman can manage in this universe is to procreate with a mermaid and who knows what that entails? Perhaps she lays eggs and he fertilises with his supervision. He never marries Lois or Lana but does hook up with a cuntless fish-woman who isn't dissapointed by his empty lunch box. His acting like a dick stems from his deep seated supercomplex at being so decidely un-Super in that one important area. It also puts a whole new perspective on his origins. How likely is it, really, that a species that can happily fly through vacuum would die out when their planet predictably explodes, choosing to save only a few babies and dogs in rocket ships? The idea that kryptonite is debris from the exploded planet Krypton has never been remotely credible. From the ammount of the stuff that has turned up on Earth, Krypton would have to have been a galaxy-sized planet. And why would humans be immune to Kryptonic radiation while the species who evolved there get laid out by the local rocks? It makes no sense whatever. Far more likely is that Superman's parents, ashamed at having sired a dickless freak, simply blasted him off into space and tried again. In his heart of hearts, Superman knows this. Maybe he returned to Krypton once and hated it. Not only was he nothing special there, he was notable only for having no dick. That Investigative Reporter Lois Lane hasn't figured this out is unsurprising, given that she is stupid enough to be fooled by Superman's cunning "glasses and hat" disguise for so many years, but what about Genius SuperVillains like Lex Luther? My guess is that they have (regardless of how weakened Superman might be by Kryptonite, no one ever tries to hit him in the supergnads) but dare not mention it. Superman seldom kills his enemies, usually handing them over to "the authorities". Perhaps a villain taunted Superman once about his downstairs inadequacies when he thought he had him entrapped and, on escaping, Superman did something so unspeakably horrible to him in reprisal that the Metropolis criminal underworld still shiver when they talk about it years later in hushed whispers. So there you have it. Superman Is A Dick because He Has No Dick. And Krypton Persists, populated by happy well-hung descendents of Jor El. An intrinsically falsifiable hypothesis. But where in the canon is the counter evidence? What a Dick Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jumbie Posted March 18, 2007 Share Posted March 18, 2007 I figured this thread was the most appropriate place for this. From my new favorite webcomic, 'Shortpacked!' They've got a point. Selina in Year One... All the women in Sin City... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lycaon Posted March 18, 2007 Share Posted March 18, 2007 I figured this thread was the most appropriate place for this. From my new favorite webcomic, 'Shortpacked!' They've got a point. Selina in Year One... All the women in Sin City... Shortpacked is awesome. I need to catch up with that series, too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ganny McVagflaps Posted March 22, 2007 Share Posted March 22, 2007 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jables Posted March 23, 2007 Share Posted March 23, 2007 That's not even made up is it? That Stan Lee was way ahead of his time... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ganny McVagflaps Posted March 23, 2007 Share Posted March 23, 2007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ganny McVagflaps Posted March 27, 2007 Share Posted March 27, 2007 Well, at least Uatu can keep it in his pants. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drifter Posted March 28, 2007 Share Posted March 28, 2007 Well, I feel safer already... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ganny McVagflaps Posted March 28, 2007 Share Posted March 28, 2007 I don't know if I believe him. It's kinda scary that he just chills out and watches everything. I've pooped with the lights off since I discovered his dastardly ways. Dude, I know I'm not supposed to interfere or whatever, but seriously you gotta start wiping better. Otherwise that rash just ain't gonna clear up. Have you ever considered wet ones? They're pretty good. I know everytime Scott Summers drops a dook he wet wipes the brown away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ganny McVagflaps Posted March 29, 2007 Share Posted March 29, 2007 Yeah Stark put some nifty things in the iron-spider costume but now he's back in black Spidey has the best add-on ever. Get ready for....THE COCK-FLASHLIGHT©! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ganny McVagflaps Posted April 6, 2007 Share Posted April 6, 2007 And in other news, we all know Daredevil is a dick but still... And then some hot guy on Guy action. Also check out that batton. Hotness. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ganny McVagflaps Posted April 6, 2007 Share Posted April 6, 2007 BATMAN MOTHERFUCKING JONES, BITCHES! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The NZA Posted April 7, 2007 Author Share Posted April 7, 2007 Man...props on keeping the dream alive, but i dont know that youll ever top Batman Jones. he looked so dedicated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silent Bob Posted April 7, 2007 Share Posted April 7, 2007 And then some hot guy on Guy action. Also check out that batton. Hotness. Wait...isn't that Chuck Norris? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ganny McVagflaps Posted April 7, 2007 Share Posted April 7, 2007 And whereever Norris is that means the Karate Kommandos can't be far behind. I'd also like to nominate myself for worst pun ever for my "Guy on guy" joke. It's my one chance for a Hyundai (or whatever they're now called) in '07. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The NZA Posted April 7, 2007 Author Share Posted April 7, 2007 i just caught that pun. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ganny McVagflaps Posted April 10, 2007 Share Posted April 10, 2007 Oh...yeah...Hey Nick... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ganny McVagflaps Posted April 12, 2007 Share Posted April 12, 2007 Superhorse is a dick. Where's Lottie's rape shield when you need one? Motherfucker is a horse! A horse! The Golden Age was fucked. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alive she cried Posted April 13, 2007 Share Posted April 13, 2007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ganny McVagflaps Posted April 13, 2007 Share Posted April 13, 2007 Those kids are gonna get so fucked. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alive she cried Posted April 15, 2007 Share Posted April 15, 2007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ganny McVagflaps Posted April 17, 2007 Share Posted April 17, 2007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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