Iambaytor Posted January 8, 2007 Posted January 8, 2007 As I promised to Nick in early December I finally got enough free time to do this. Before I continue I would like to point out that yes some of these movies came out in 2005 (or in one movie's case 2004) however I am going by the date that they were released to the general public in America. So shut yer cock holster and listen up. All movie summaries are supplied by IMDb.com and posters from google images. Top 10 Best Horror Movies of 2006 10. Hard Candy For three weeks, 14-year-old Hayley Stark has been chatting on-line with 'Lensmaster319', a 32-year old fashion photographer, named Jeff. The two agree to meet at a coffee shop called Nighthawks. They hit it off, despite the massive age difference. Hayley appears to flirt with Jeff, and Jeff generally restrains himself, even admitting that he must wait 4-years until he can be with her. But his reservations are apparently not enough to decline when Hayley all but invites herself over to his house. Once at the house, manipulation becomes the name of the game, and the pedophile seems to be on the non-traditional side of it. Hard Candy deals with a big subject these days, online predators. I went into this movie thinking it was just going to be an extended episode of Law and Order: SVU but man was I wrong. The online conversation at the beginning is so cheery and normal that it's almsot unsettling and the scene in the diner even moreso. But the big twist of the movie and how sadistic this little girl turns out to be makes this movie as great as it is. It's somewhat lacking in spots but it's definately frightening on a psychological level and you'll not be sure who to call the victim by the time the credits roll. 9. Saw 3 Jigsaw has disappeared. Now aided by his new apprentice Amanda, the puppet-master behind the cruel, intricate games that have terrified a community and baffled police has once again eluded capture and vanished. While city detectives scramble to locate him, Dr. Lynn Denlon is unaware that she is about to become the latest pawn on his vicious chessboard. One night, after finishing a shift at her hospital, Lynn is kidnapped by the deranged Amanda and taken to an abandoned warehouse where she meets Jigsaw, aka: John Kramer, who's now bedridden and on the verge of death. Lynn is told that she must keep the madman alive for as long as it takes Jeff, another of his victims, to complete a game of his own. Racing against the ticking clock of Jigsaw's own heartbeat, Lynn and Jeff struggle to make it through each of their vicious tests, unaware that Jigsaw and Amanda have a much bigger plan for both of them... The Saw Franchise has never been the best ever. The first was good but lacking in several areas, Saw 2 delivered on blood but some of the plot could have been better. Saw 3 is certainly not a great deal better and seems more an extension of Saw 2 than an actual sequel. But unlike the second it delivers on what it promises, sick, gorey shit. Sure it starts off easy <!--SPOILER BEGIN--><div onclick="openClose('cc8f533b43e0683465262cbd43fb40ee')" style="font-weight: bold">» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «</div><div id="cc8f533b43e0683465262cbd43fb40ee" style="display:none"><!--SPOILER END-->with a chick being frozen to death, encased in ice<!--SPOILER DIV--></div><!--SPOILER DIV--> but before long we've got some fucked up stuff happening <!--SPOILER BEGIN--><div onclick="openClose('77d9b05919b57c2f2204738ed9b15e1e')" style="font-weight: bold">» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «</div><div id="77d9b05919b57c2f2204738ed9b15e1e" style="display:none"><!--SPOILER END-->Open brain surgery, drowning in liquid big, and shotgun shells turning people's heads into soup, fuckin' A!<!--SPOILER DIV--></div><!--SPOILER DIV--> It's not an academy award worthy movie but it is what it promises to be, a seriously messed up fun night at the movies, unless you have a weak stomach. 8. Silent Hill Sharon is a little girl who sleepwalks and has seizures; lately they've been getting worse. She keeps mentioning the same thing in her trances: Silent Hill. Over the protests of her husband, Sharon's mother (Rose) flees with her child. She ends up driving and crashes. She wakes up in the eerie and deserted town of Silent Hill. Sharon is gone. It's soon clear the town is not like any place she's ever been. It's inhabited by a variety of creatures and a living darkness that descends and literally transforms everything it touches. The human inhabitants - the ones who are left - are trapped and fighting a losing battle against the Darkness. Joined by a cop named Cybil, who was pulled in with her, Rose searches for her little girl while learning the history of Silent Hill. Silent Hill is in my eyes, one of the most misunderstood horror movies of the decade. The simple fact is that it was more or less made for fans of the game, and it captures the ambiance of the first two or three games perfectly and if you've never played them you'll probably hate this movie. But this movie is not only the best video game adaptation ever made but also one of the most genuinely creepy and well made horror movies in a while. Sure it has its own shortcomings and is only skirts the game's storyline with a few moments at parts to remind you that this is supposed to be Silent Hill. Bottom line, if you get where this movie is coming from and you can forget the assraped abomination that modern horror movies have become just for a moment, you can learn to love this movie. 7. The Roost Part of a "special" late-nite television program...Four friends on their way to a wedding find themselves marooned on a mysterious farm. Creatures of the night awaken and the undead rise, as a night of relentless horror...Begins! While some modern directors feel the need to remake an old horror movie others try something a little different and pay homage to them. The Roost was Director/Writer Ti West's homage to the classic horror films of the 70s. Starting off like one of the classic old midnight creature features the movie starts out like a classic 70s film. It is plenty gorey and the acting is okay it makes great reference to films like The Evil Dead and Dawn of the Dead as well as countless others, it's not very scary but it's origional and a good way to kill an hour and a half. 6. Feast. Patrons locked inside of a bar are forced to fight monsters. The plot summary may be simple but that's really all you need to know about this movie. This movie is like a mixture of Evil Dead, Dog Soldiers, and From Dusk Till Dawn while managing not to rip any of them off. It's bloody, it's hilarious, and it shits all over normal horror movie convictions (I'm sure you've all seen the "I'm the guy who's gonna save your ass" trailer by now) Henry Rollins is the real show stealer here as the character The Coach. This movie is at very least rentworthy and I would personally give it a place on my DVD shelf 5. Pulse Imagine our wireless technologies made a connection to a world beyond our own. Imagine that world used that technology as a doorway into ours. Now, imagine the connection we made can't be shut down. When you turn on your cell phone or log on to your e-mail, they'll get in, you'll be infected and they'll be able to take from you what they don't have anymore -- life. This is the only remake you will find on this list, why? Because it's good. I admit I was a bit worried when I saw that most of the cast were your run-of-the-mill pretty actors and actresses and it was produced by Wes Craven (who hasn't made a good movie since Nightmare on Elm Street came out) but a certain image from the preview of a 747 crashing into a hospital in a post-apocalyptic world just captured me so well that I had to see it. From the beginning I was increasingly worried as it started off almost like The Grudge did, but about 15 minutes in I decided that this was one of the best movies of the year. This is the movie that White Noise wanted to be and the imagery of the world slowly going to hell because of these ghost coming through the computers and causing people to commit suicide is unsettling to say the least. Brad Dourif (the voice of Chucky the killer doll) is the shining star of this movie in a cameo role about an hour in as some crazy old guy talking about the downfall of society in a diner, his scene is easily the most memorable in the movie. The ending is also BRILLIANT and has some references to the origional Dawn of the Dead. This movie is definately worth checking out. 4. Snakes on a Plane Nelville Flynn escorts a witness onto a plane headed for Los Angeles. Problem is, an assassin who is bent on killing the witness has released a crate containing about 450 snakes onto the same plane. Nelville finds out and he's bent on doing his job and getting the snakes back where they belong; on land. Or in snake heaven, where they'd be harmless. But can he get the snakes off the plane before it's too late? What is there to say about this movie that hasn't already been said? This is the best shitty movie of all time. Samuel L. Jackson is the only good actor in this film and even he plays it as a caricature of himself. But good acting in this movie would just get in the way of all the snakes. Plot holes, things of physical disbelief, cheesy one-liners and other shitty movie components only serve to make this movie more brilliant. If you try to take this the least bit seriously, well then you'll hate it, but as a cheesy action/horror flick it's the greatest ever. 3. The Descent A group of female friends led by Juno (Natalie Mendoza) encounter bloodthirsty creatures when they get trapped in a mountain cave due to rockfall. Worst of all they their friendships sour and they discover their real fear is from each other... One thing that I always said about From Dusk Till Dawn is that it's better if you've not seen any previews and know nothing about the movie because the surprise twist in the middle is so much better recieved if you don't see it coming. This movie is the same, the first hour has absolutely nothing to do with CHUDs, it's all about claustrophobia, fear of heighs, fear of the dark, and the fear of being trapped underground in the dark for the rest of your life. Then once you've been unsettled with all the real world trouble, then it throws the monsters in their introduction scene alone is terrifying and I was on the edge of my seat (which is hard to do with me since I'm so desinsitized) and the dynamic of the lead character essentially losing her mind during the movie culminating in a very unique and strange ending. Sadly we here stateside got this movie after the Alien-ripoff crapfest that was The Cave had already came out as well as its even worse ripoff film The Cavern so we were kind of burnt out on monsters in cave movies. But this one is good, and worth checking out. 2. Freak Out Merv Doody (James Heathcote) is a true horror aficionado. He's seen it all. That's when fate delivers an inept psycho killer to his doorstep. At first, Merv is interested in not getting killed, but then it becomes something more. He must transform this bumbling reject from the local asylum into the ultimate killing machine. Enlisting the aid of his best friend Onkey (Dan Palmer), they set about making the best slasher in the world. Forget Jason and Freddy. They're losers. The man with the spatula (that's right, I said spatula. You wanna make something of it, Sissy?) learns his lessons too well. It isn't long before the man with the hockey mask and orange jumper is carving a path of destruction through the sleepy town of Redwater Cove. Merv and Onkey find that they are the only two who can stop the murderous rampage of their own creation. The only question is how do you destroy an unstoppable machine of utter madness? This movie is for slashers what Shaun of the Dead was for zombie films. Unlike Shaun however, Freak Out takes a much less serious shot at horror movies parodying things in as well as out of the slasher genre (Zombies, vampire lesbians, Larry Hagman) it is one of the most hilarious movies I've seen in years, the acting is godawful, and the writing is superb. This movie has a few shortcomings, the ending is a bit strange and hard to follow and some of the jokes are a bit too cheesy but on the whole this movie is great. As your attorney I advise you to purchase the DVD 1. Slither Near the deer hunting season in the small town of Wheelsy, a meteor falls on the woods with an egg of alien worm. Along the night, the local Starla Gran (Elizabeth Grant) refuses to have sex with her husband Grant Grant (Michael Rooker) and the upset man goes to a bar to have some drinks. He meets his acquaintance Brenda Gutierrez (Brenda James), the younger sister of his former girlfriend, who has a crush on him, and they go to the woods, but Grant does not have sex with her. He sees the weird egg on the grass, and when he touches it, the egg releases a sort of sparrow with an alien parasite that dominates Grant's brain. Along the next days, Grant has an insatiable hunger for meat, and while his hostage body is transforming, he builds a nest of slugs in his cellar. Grant infects Brenda and the slugs attack the human beings in Wheelsy, possessing their bodies. Starla, the local sheriff Bill Pardy (Nathan Fillion) and the survival Kylie Strutemyer (Tania Saulnier) try to find a way to stop Grant, the leader of a new breed of starving zombies. This movie has to be one of the most overlooked horror movies of 2006. This is another tribute to older movies, unlike The Roost this movie is in reference to 80s movies. The most obvious tributes being to The Thing, Shivers, The Fly, Night of the Creeps, and countless others. It's gorey, it's bad taste, it's fucking hilarious. Not a single actor or actress in this movie has a bad performance and while Michael Rooker (Henry: Portrait of a Seriel Killer) and Nathan Fillion (Firefly/Serenity) have great performances it's Gregg Henry's performance as foul mouthed mayor Jack McReady that steals the show with some of the most hilarious lines in the movie. This was one of my picks for best horror movie of 2006 way back when it first came out in theatres. Some of the most fun I've had watching a movie in a long time. The 10 Worst Horror Movies of 2006 10. The Omen 666 A remake of the 1976 horror classic The Omen (1976), an American official realizes that his young son may literally be the devil incarnate. I want to first and foremost say that I have never been a huge fan of the origional Omen and that may have tarnished what little respect I actually might have had for this movie. But honestly, even though I have no particular enjoyment of the origional I'll admit that this is a bastardization of it. It's almost a frame-by-frame reproduction of the origional only not near as good. There's not much else I can say about this one, just don't watch it. 9. Black Christmas A remake of the 1974 horror movie Black Christmas. The movie tells the story about Billy, a young boy who was abused by his mother as a child. While his mother was cheating on Billy's father, she eventually killed his father and kept Billy in the attic - for good, while she was with her lover and starting a "new" family. As Billy's mother fell pregnant with a daughter and treated her with love, which Billy had never experienced with his mother, Billy came out of the attic after years and brutally murdered his mother and her lover. Cut to present day, a group of eight sorority sisters consisting of Kelli (Katie Cassidy), Dana (Lacey Chabert), Lauren (Crystal Lowe), Megan (Jessica Harmon), Claire (Leela Savasta), Heather (Mary Elizabeth Winstead), Megan (Jessica Harmon) and Melissa (Michelle Trachtenberg) and their house mother (Andrea Martin),who now live in Billy's childhood home, find themselves being harassed by threatening and intimidating mystery phone-calls during Christmas Break and as one of the girls goes missing, the girls begin being murdered one by one by no other than Billy... A remake of what is considered the definitive slasher film and the first holiday themed slasher movie. This movie really was a shitty remake, it's one that takes one small detail from the film (the legend at the beginning) and spins it into the plot, while in the origional you not only never saw the killer but also never knew who they actually were, it was creepy and brilliant and this movie lacks all that it had. Another piece of shit, skip it. 8. Final Destination 3 During her Graduation Day party with her school at the local amusement park, 18 year-old Wendy Christensen (Mary-Elizabeth Winstead) has a violent premonition of a fatally horrible roller-coaster crash involving her and all her friends. After being let off the coaster along with half the other students the coaster starts. Only when the premonition comes true and everyone on the coaster, including her boyfriend Jason (Jesse Moss), dies, does Wendy realize that it was just the beginning. Teaming up with fellow classmate Kevin ((Ryan Merriman), whose Girlfriend also died, they begin to realize that because they escaped their fate they now have to stop Death from it's plan of killing off the survivors and sealing their fate. They use the picture Wendy took at the Amusment Park to find clues to their friends deaths and try to stop them. They also need to find out who was sitting in front of them and help them cheat death, before they're next. Will they intervene or will Death have its way? Final Destination was a kind of okay movie that was worth a rental on a Saturday night when you had nothing better to do with you life, Final Destination 2 was pretty decent with good gorey deaths and even more Tony Todd (Candyman) than the first movie. However this movie has barely anything to do with the first two with only a slight nod and we all know what's going to happen so really what's the point. Every one of the deaths is bullshit, even the first one is easily escapable many of the others would kill but not in the way it happens. <!--SPOILER BEGIN--><div onclick="openClose('dd074b0ba5df83e26b6f664e7a10b041')" style="font-weight: bold">» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «</div><div id="dd074b0ba5df83e26b6f664e7a10b041" style="display:none"><!--SPOILER END-->load of crap<!--SPOILER DIV--></div><!--SPOILER DIV--> I have come up with a definition for movies like this. Gorenogrophy. Because movies like this are what pornography is to romantic movies. Bad acting, little to no plot, and it's all about the money shot. 7.The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning It is 1969 - the height of the Vietnam War. Two young men are spending a last weekend with their girlfriends before being shipped overseas to the war. At the same time, the only major business - a meat-packing plant - goes out of business. One of the men who works in the plant is Thomas Hewitt - a deformed, demented psychopath who will become known as Leatherface - and when he finds out what is happening he savagely murders the foreman of the plant. The two young men and their girlfriends are headed down a lonely highway when they are involved in an accident that cripples their vehicle. Soon they encounter the sheriff - who is not really the sheriff but the psychopathic uncle of Leatherface - and he kidnaps 3 of them to take them to his home for the developing monster Leatherface to "refine" his murderous abilities. The one girl who escaped unnoticed attempts to rescue them with the help of a biker whose girlfriend was killed by the sheriff, and what follows is a night of sheer terror at the hands of a family of cannibalistic, inbred psychopaths.... I would have loved to be at the meeting for this movie. "Okay, we need to make a sequel to the Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake." "But, we cut off one of Leatherface's arms and the only good actor in the movie got run over by a truck." "True... Wait! We'll make a prequel!" and thus TCM: The Beginning was born. And bringing the series to before Sheriff Hoyt was killed was good because once again R. Lee Ermey shines in this movie, a performance that I feel is Oscarworthy, however there's a very sharp dropoff after that as everything else about this movie is dogshit and not even as good as the first remake. 6. The Grudge 2 In Tokyo, a young woman (Tamblyn) is exposed to the same mysterious curse that afflicted her sister (Gellar). The supernatural force, which fills a person with rage before spreading to its next victim, brings together a group of previously unrelated people who attempt to unlock its secret to save their lives. I will admit I actually kind of liked the Grudge. Yes you heard me, I was geniunely freaked out and even scared by it at times. It was a lot less dissapointing than The Ring. But the Grudge 2 just tried to copy the first and Sarah Michelle Gellar shouldn't even have been in this one (she shouldn't have been in the first one either but that's beside the point) her role is as significant as Jamie Lee Curtis' role in Halloween Resurection. 5. When a Stranger Calls A young high school student babysits for a very rich family. She begins to receive strange phone calls threatening the children. When she finally realizes that it's not a joke, she calls the police, only to find that the call is coming from inside the house Horror movie rule #1, don't reveal the biggest twist (and in this movie's case the only scary part) in the movie in the trailer. 4. Urban Legend: Bloody Mary On Homecoming night, Samantha (Mara), Gina (McCormick), and Mindy (Rulin) are having a slumber party at Sam's house due to being black-listed by the sexy football players. Since the dance and game are out of the question, the trio stays up and entertains themselves with Urban Legends..all leading up to BLOODY MARY. With nothing better to do and a whole night to waste, Sam chants "Bloody Mary." Her friends laugh... "Bloody Mary." More laughter. On the third and final "Bloody Mary," the friends are kidnapped by three jocks and return soon thereafter, shaken but well. Sam begins having hallucinations and soon bodies turn up - is it all a high school prank taken to grisly extremes or is it Bloody Mary, who's youth was taken far too early? It has nothing to do with the first two movies (both of which weren't that great anyway) and the plot it barely has isn't worth paying attention to. 3. Hollow Man 2 In Seattle, after the mysterious death of the scientist Dr. Devin Villiers, Detective Frank Turner and his partner Det. Lisa Martinez are assigned to protect Devin's colleague Dr. Maggie Dalton. Lisa is killed while protecting Maggie, and Frank presses her to tell what is happening. She discloses that a veteran soldier called Michael Griffin was submitted to an experiment with the object to create the ultimate national security weapon, an undetectable soldier. However, the experiment failed, with horrible side effects due to the damage to the cells caused by the radiation. Michael is chasing Maggie to get the necessary buffer to survive. Let's face it, Hollow Man was a pretty bad movie anyway and Kevin Bacon's performance left a lot to be desired. Well this time they're back with a lower budget and a worse actor. This time we have Christian Slater in the lead. This is a movie so bad you have to see it to believe it. 2. I'll Always Know What You Did Last Summer A group of teenagers in Colorado find themselves being stalked and killed one-by-one by a mysterious figure with a hook, exactly one year after they covered up a friends' accidental death... Do I even have to say anything? 1. Night of the Living Dead 3-D Both an homage to and a re-imagining of the original 1968 film, this update follows a group of survivors trapped in a farmhouse battling a siege of undead zombies....in 3D! After reading the summary you can come up with your own idea of how bad this is. Now take that, and multiply it by ten. This is one that my description can't do justice, you just have to see it but it is easily the worst horror movie I've seen in years. Top 10 Best Performances: 10. Henry Rollins as The Coach (Feast) 9. Samuel L. Jackson as Neville Flynn (Snakes on a Plane) 8. Brad Douriff as Thin Bookish Guy (Pulse) 7. Nathan Fillion as Chief Bill Pardy (Slither) 6. R. Lee Ermey as Sheriff Hoyt (Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning) 5. Tobin Bell as John Cramer (Saw 3) 4. Ron Perlman as Collie Estragian (Desperation) 3. Michael Rooker as Grant Grant (Slither) 2. Gregg Henry as Mayor Jack McReady (Slither) 1. Billy Drago as Jupiter (The Hills Have Eyes) Top 10 Worst Use of (Semi) Popular Celebrities to Help a Horror Movie Gain Publicity 10. Jeffrey Combs as Buddy the Clerk (Abominable) 9. Ted Levine as Big Bob (The Hills Have Eyes) 8. Sean Bean as Christopher Da Silva (Silent Hill) (He'll probably win this award for The Hitcher for 2007) 7. Lance Henriksen as Ziegler Dane (Abominable) 6. Nicholas Cage as Edward Malus (The Wicker Man) 5. Joey Lawrence as Officer Michael Deacon (Rest Stop) 4. Christian Slater as Michael Griffin (Hollow Man 2) 3. Michelle Trachtenberg as Melissa Kitt (Black Christmas) 2. Sarah Michelle Gellar as Karen Davis (The Grudge 2) 1. Sid Haig as Gerald Tovar, Jr. (Night of the Living Dead 3D) And that will do it for this year, if you want to know who the top 10 best directors are, then figure out who directed the top 10 best movies. That's all folks.
The NZA Posted January 8, 2007 Posted January 8, 2007 that was awesome. you prolly saved me a number of downloads a few bucks on rentals in the process. im watching LL's new copy of Slither, soon. Thank you, baytor.
Iambaytor Posted January 8, 2007 Author Posted January 8, 2007 Glad somebody appreciated it, took me for fucking ever. Yeah I had pictures too but something screwed up so I dropped them.
La Lindsay Posted January 8, 2007 Posted January 8, 2007 thank you for putting slither first. i absolutely and 100% agree with you. that movie is easily the best horror movie from last year. i kept telling nick to go see it. especially with all the man-love he has for nathan fillion. you're right about the mayor stealing the movie too. excellent.
The NZA Posted January 8, 2007 Posted January 8, 2007 i know, i would totally eat a nathan fillion man sandwhich, or manwhich if you will, but then Eli went and stole Slither, so im just watching disc 1 of firefly, again and again.
La Lindsay Posted January 8, 2007 Posted January 8, 2007 ok, i just woke him up. he's going home to get it.
The NZA Posted January 8, 2007 Posted January 8, 2007 tell him there's no hurry. ive got 2 episodes left, and another copy of disc 1 to watch after that.
Silent Bob Posted January 8, 2007 Posted January 8, 2007 The I Still Always Know Whatever the Hell You Did Some Time Ago franchise is still going? Jesus... Good list, baytor. But poor Brad Dourif. Amazing career like that and he gets stuck with the "voice of Chucky" byline? I mean, I know it's a horror-themed thread but for shame!
Iambaytor Posted January 8, 2007 Author Posted January 8, 2007 The I Still Always Know Whatever the Hell You Did Some Time Ago franchise is still going? Jesus... Good list, baytor. But poor Brad Dourif. Amazing career like that and he gets stuck with the "voice of Chucky" byline? I mean, I know it's a horror-themed thread but for shame! Well it's not technically still going, the new one's more of a remake than a sequel as it's just a re-imagining of the first one with worse actors. I'm trying to go with his most familiar role I agree Brad Dourif has played MUCH better parts, he's had cameo roles that were better than Chucky. But you know nobody's seen half the good shit he's been in, I guess I could have put Grima Wormtongue that's somewhat familiar but Chucky's a recognized icon. (I feel the same way when they list Ken Foree and Bill Moseley as the stars of The Devil's Rejects)
La Lindsay Posted February 10, 2007 Posted February 10, 2007 after i watched feast tonight i retract this statement: thank you for putting slither first. i absolutely and 100% agree with you. that movie is easily the best horror movie from last year. i kept telling nick to go see it. especially with all the man-love he has for nathan fillion. you're right about the mayor stealing the movie too. excellent. man, i don't know if you're putting these in any kind of order (i'm guessing yes) but i after seeing feast, i'm putting it above all the other horror movies i've seen this year that're on your list (hard candy, saw 3, silent hill, pulse, the first half of snakes on a plane, the descent, and slither). that shit was pretty damn good. i'm going to try to buy it this weekend. also, i saw the remake of pulse (i still haven't seen the original) and i thought it was shitty. i was very disappointed. i still need to see the other two that you recommended (the roost and freak out). saw 3 was better than 2 and 1 i thought...2 being absolute shit and 1 being overacted ...damn you, cary elwes, it's a horror movie, not broadway!! i don't know if i would consider hard candy horror. maybe if you're a pedophile, i dunno. silent hill had it's moments. snakes on a plane was apparently too hot for the movie projector to handle (i actually thought that it was part of the movie...like "snakes in the projection booth have ruined the movie!!" ...very gremlins-esque...but the film really did burn up halfway through). the descent was fucking great. slither too. but feast had everything i could ever ask for.
The NZA Posted February 10, 2007 Posted February 10, 2007 Shit, im gonna have to see that one, then. Again, Silent Hill - like Hellboy - wasnt really written for the non-fans, to be fair. its apporachable in & of itself by the low, low bar of video game movies (same way Resident Evil was fun) but you know how it is, most of the fun is seeing nightmarish, but familar creatures on the screen. The plot went wherever it wanted, but was fun too. Slither was awesome, Your Feast one better have Mal, somehow.
La Lindsay Posted February 10, 2007 Posted February 10, 2007 i will see your mal and raise you one henry rollins.
Iambaytor Posted February 10, 2007 Author Posted February 10, 2007 I told you about Henry Rollins, don't just skim paragraphs you pasty Asian cowboy wannabe! I thought Feast was great but I don't know Slither just had everything I wanted, gore, aliens, Nathan Fillion, Michael Rooker, over-the-top Evil Dead style comedy and it just had more of a plot than Feast. I don't know I still think Pulse was great and I hold my stance on that one, they were more gutsy than most modern horror flics like that and I respect that above all else, plus BRAD FUCKING DOURIFF! And no one a level Hard Candy and Snakes on a Plane are not horror. But Horror is a much more versatile genre than people realize. Dirty Harry, Manhunter, Silence of the Lambs, even the Cable Guy are technically horror films. Plus 2006 was a bad year for good horror, so I lumped them in there.
The NZA Posted February 11, 2007 Posted February 11, 2007 I told you about Henry Rollins, don't just skim paragraphs you pasty Asian cowboy wannabe! Its true. I'm a habitual paragraph-skimmer. ps how is Dirty Harry a horror...?
Ganny McVagflaps Posted February 11, 2007 Posted February 11, 2007 I'd like to stick my thumb in the Pulse sucked fucking ass pie. Feast also had Judah Friedlander and Jason Mewes getting his faced ripped off. Not grrrrreeat but good in a cheesy way.
La Lindsay Posted February 11, 2007 Posted February 11, 2007 oh my god, you've seen manhunter?! i've never met anyone outside of my family that's seen that movie. it's like my dad's second favorite movie (the remake of the thing being the first). anyway, i think a lot of genres are versatile. i saw donnie darko as part love story. the genre, not the movie.
Iambaytor Posted February 11, 2007 Author Posted February 11, 2007 Dirty Harry is a horror movie because it has to deal with a serial killer, don't ask me why that makes it a horror, I didn't make that rule but because Scorpio is a serial killer and a lot of the scenes with him were pretty freaky. (I also find it strange that you questioned Dirty Harry before The Cable Guy) Yes I love Manhunter! I saw it when I was a kid and never knew what it was then I saw Red Dragon and went "wait a minute... I've seen this before... but it had different people" Hell William Petersen was the reason I started watching CSI. Then I finally found out the name of the movie and that there was no DVD in America, so when the Hannibal Lector Collection came out I snatched it up just for that. I mean Hannibal and Silence of the Lambs were pretty good, but Manhunter is hard to beat. And for the record, I will take William Petersen and Brian Cox as Will Graham and Hannibal Lector over Edward Norton and Anthony Hopkins any day.
Ganny McVagflaps Posted February 11, 2007 Posted February 11, 2007 Manhunter is good and all but the muzak... You're right about it being much better than Red Dragon
La Lindsay Posted February 11, 2007 Posted February 11, 2007 And for the record, I will take William Petersen and Brian Cox as Will Graham and Hannibal Lector over Edward Norton and Anthony Hopkins any day. agreed. plus joan allen was in it too. i fucking love her. she's such a good actress. AND it was adapted and directed by a relatively unknown michael mann. i liked it much more than red dragon.
La Lindsay Posted February 11, 2007 Posted February 11, 2007 Manhunter is good and all but the muzak... it was a low-budget 80s movie, what do you want from these people?!!! it did remind me of porn music in parts though.
Iambaytor Posted February 11, 2007 Author Posted February 11, 2007 it was a low-budget 80s movie, what do you want from these people?!!! it did remind me of porn music in parts though. That describes every lowbudget movie made from 1970 to maybe 1983 when muzak was replaced by buttrock. Anybody whose ever seen a pre-Vampires John Carpenter movie knows what I'm talking about.
Iambaytor Posted February 11, 2007 Author Posted February 11, 2007 agreed. plus joan allen was in it too. i fucking love her. she's such a good actress. AND it was adapted and directed by a relatively unknown michael mann. i liked it much more than red dragon. Brian Cox just played a much more believable Lector, I mean you could actually see him overpowering someone. Not to mention Hopkins' Gotham City prison cell which was just
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