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Leonidas V.S. Beowulf  

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michael_buffer3.jpg

 

This is Michael Buffer and the fight of a lifetime comes to you courtesy of the state of Nevada! In this corner, from the city-state of Sparta with a combined record of 480 wins and 1 loss. Wearing the leather underwear and crimson red cape, "The Warrior King"... LEONIDAS!!!

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And in this corner, from the township of Geats with a combined record of 501 wins, no losses with one tie. Wearing his birthday suit. "The Grendel Slayer"... BEOWULF!!!

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Now you guys know the rules...? THEY ARE NO RULES!!!

 

LET'S GET READY TO RUUUUUUUMBLE!!!!!

 

<DING,DING>

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Well, let's be fair, here...

 

Leonidas -

Takes 300 other super badass soldiers to war and loses. Gets killed by a bunch of arrows to the face.

 

 

Beowulf -

Fought a freakin' huge dragon by himself and killed it by cutting his own arm off and ripping the dragon's heart out with his one good hand. Is dragged by the giant dragon carcass to the rocky beach some 500 feet below but still manages to survive the horrible impact trauma and excessive bloodloss due to the gaping hole where his arm used to be long enough to tell Brendan Gleeson goodbye.

 

 

That alone puts Beowulf up a little for me, but I gotta think about it some more. The only thing that's clear cut right now is that they both could stand to put some damn clothes on!

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fuck the boycott for a moment.....

 

300 is the better movie and leonidas was actually likeable.... and its believable that gerard butler had/has a body of an adonis....

 

beowulf blew chunks and there's no way he is any way built like that....

 

and the fact that 300 has the "THIS IS SPARTA" *kick* moment really wins it for me

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Lets do it blow by blow:

 

Leonidas does his slick swishy cape thing to confuse Beowulf. Beowulf takes off his pants. Leonidas is a little wierded out but respects the fact that Beowulf fucked Angelina Jolie. The two become life long friends.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Of course I still voted Leonidas.

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well, beowulf is a one on one fighter

 

Mr. L is a platoon of 300/battlefield fighter

 

so 1 on 1, I think Beowulf has an edge.

 

 

beowulf killed grendel and the dragon, very hard to kill 1 on 1...

 

leonidas kills other humans in a mosh pit...

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Leonidas was raised from birth to be the ultimate fighting machine - Beowulf was a warrior yes but I doubt his whole life was dedicated to perfecting the art of death.

 

Leonidas was the king of a city-state who were historically reputed to have the greatest courage, strength and martial skill in all of Greece if not all of Europe and Asia. If his men were badasses then I can only assume he led by example and therefore had to go one badass notch higher than all of them to be respected as king - Beowulf led a bunch of drunken louts on half assed adventures purely for the pursuit of money and fame.

 

Leonidas had a strong moral code - Beowulf sold everyone out to get power and pussy (the fact he redeems himself slightly changes nothing cos Leonidas wouldnt have screwed everyone over in the first place).

 

I rest my case.

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Fair enough, but being ruler of a city-state and having a strong moral code has nothing to do with how much ass you can kick.

 

And don't take the "Gerard Butler is built and Ray Winstone is fat route. We're talking about the characters and Beowulf's character has nothing to do with Ray Winstone's body.

 

Beowulf was three dimensional, does that count for something?

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Leonidas was raised from birth to be the ultimate fighting machine - Beowulf was a warrior yes but I doubt his whole life was dedicated to perfecting the art of death.

 

Leonidas was the king of a city-state who were historically reputed to have the greatest courage, strength and martial skill in all of Greece if not all of Europe and Asia. If his men were badasses then I can only assume he led by example and therefore had to go one badass notch higher than all of them to be respected as king - Beowulf led a bunch of drunken louts on half assed adventures purely for the pursuit of money and fame.

 

Leonidas had a strong moral code - Beowulf sold everyone out to get power and pussy (the fact he redeems himself slightly changes nothing cos Leonidas wouldnt have screwed everyone over in the first place).

 

I rest my case.

 

Clap... clap... clap... clap... clap...

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both leonides from the movie and beowulf are fictional. so which fictional character is mightier.... beowulf. come on people beowulf took it from.... this giant immature scarred guy with his ears insisde out ( fucking naked!!!), three giant sea monsters, a golden dragon, and did angelina jolie.... need i say more????

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Its a fundamentally flawed match anyway. We've never seen how Leonidas would have fared against a sea monster or a dragon but I'd like to bet the 300 movie-Leonidas would have had no problem. I'm basing this on how he performed against the uber-Immortal (cut its damn head off is what he did!) plus he fought almost non-stop for 3 days and at the end of it all he still had the energy to hit a guy in the face with a spear from what I can only guess was a good 30 feet away and roar his head off... with arrows sticking out of him.

 

 

Beowulf fought short and sweet battles with each of the gribbly monsters at different times. If he had nuded up and fought Grendel then the Dragon immediately after then I'd definitely have voted for him. Besides Beowulf was an opportunist killer and just took his chances when he saw them, there was strength, fancy acrobatics and big balls of steel yes but not much in the way of skill. Leonidas was a clinical and skillful fighter throughout his battles. Every sword swing and spear thrust had the mark of someone who knew what they were doing. I'm a firm believer that skill will always win over brute strength and Leonidas had BOTH.

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Leonidas may have been a badass, but he was still just one out of 300 other badasses. I'm sure if it was Leo alone, the war would've been over in 5 minutes.

 

 

Beowulf on the other hand pretty much did everything singlehandedly (and "single-armedly" as well).

 

Let's face it. The 300 versus Grendel, maybe, but the 300 versus the dragon? I seriously doubt it. My vote's for Beowulf.

 

(Off the record, I also voted for Beowulf, cuz let's face it, I never seen 300 yet!) :D

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You're all assholes in the eyes of the Great and Mighty Leonidas.

 

Wanna hear my REAL reason for voting Leonidas. I'm heavily biased because:

 

Beowulf as a character annoyed the fuck out of me (WTF is a "Mons-tah"?) and the movie sucked harder than Paris Hilton in a hotel room!!!

 

300 RULED and Leonidas was one of the most badass characters in the motherfucking history of film!!!

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Agreed and I still liked the Beowulf movie! The fact is that they're both badasses (wouldn't have made the thread if they hadn't been) and I think that at the end of the day, Leo would've noticed and asked Beo to join his 300. But now is where it get's tricky... would Beowulf of been able to mesh with disipline that was the Spartan Phalanx? I don't think so...

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Agreed and I still liked the Beowulf movie! The fact is that they're both badasses (wouldn't have made the thread if they hadn't been) and I think that at the end of the day, Leo would've noticed and asked Beo to join his 300. But now is where it get's tricky... would Beowulf of been able to mesh with disipline that was the Spartan Phalanx? I don't think so...

 

True

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I still think that beowulf has an advantage with 1 on 1. He fought beastly... beasts and won. A guy fighting other mortal men and he has an arrow sticking out of him doesnt make me say anything moreover than I would say to a man single handedly killing a slimey tall and loud freak of nature who has 10 times the strength as humans do, or who can rip the heart out of a dragon like he is actually a woman playing with men's emotions, and he has the balls to stab his arm to break the bones so he can have his arm enlongated to swing like a monkey and reach the heart. I think that might hurt a tad more than an arrow poking out. I have had bones completely broken and twisting in ways they shouldnt and I was just laying on the ground after the fact, and not swinging from a chain. I think I'd rather an arrow in the rib. Just me though. He also has endurance cuz he swam across the ocean during a thunderous storm, for several days. You say oh he fought for 3 days like endurance alone was the deciding factor. He swam the ocean for several days, so endurance is compairable...

 

If giving the ultimate sacrifice for your kingdom by risking your own life (which he did) and going through a ton of pain by dismembering your bones... isnt 'sparta' enough for you, then go home, read some more comic books and forget about this thread.

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I haven't voted 'cause I haven't seen beowulf, but from the sidelines if i had a tenner riding on this fight it'd be on Beowulf in a short fight. If the fight went longer then half an hour I'd put twenty on Leonidas because noone's yet acknowledged Leo's speed & cunning. Sure Beowulf's a near-superhuman, but Spartans are taught to fight dirty. Forget 300 and consider the spartan life had fuck-all to do with honour and territory and everything to do with the nastiest rats of the ancient world being cornered on a sinking ship. If Leo could keep out of Beo's mighty swing long enough for B to need to catch his breath? a choice slice to the flank and keep working like that over the next hour or two and Beowulf's head belongs to Sparta.

 

PS- DOj?

 

THAT IS NOT SPARTA!!!!

 

That's an :ifyouknowwhatimean:

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well I cant speak much on speed itself, but as for endurance, I pretty much covered that. I think they are both stamina gods who would prolly fare well in a porno fuck fest and see who lasts the longest. But then you have to deal with control and variables like who was the wetter pussy vs dryer pussy thats gettin fucked cuz friction might cause one to cum quicker, and you also have to consider which girl has the more stretched out nasty gaping vagi... uhm wtf? :ifyouknowwhatimean:

 

uhm, yea anywho, I think the stamina/endurance factor is as close to even as you can get. No real way to compair or measure. As far as quickness, they were both battle freaks, I am sure reaction time and quickness has been mastered by both so again compairable.

 

I think it is safe to say that almot any variable you can dream up they are fairly equal. The test is clearly stated one on one. No outside influences raw fighting. I think that beowulf has clearly showed one on one superiority. All of his claims to fame are one on one, grendel, dragon, the sea serpents, swimming against aqua-man for several days...

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well I cant speak much on speed itself, but as for endurance, I pretty much covered that. I think they are both stamina gods who would prolly fare well in a porno fuck fest and see who lasts the longest. But then you have to deal with control and variables like who was the wetter pussy vs dryer pussy thats gettin fucked cuz friction might cause one to cum quicker, and you also have to consider which girl has the more stretched out nasty gaping vagi... uhm wtf? :ifyouknowwhatimean:

 

There's a monster fucking elephant in the room now. And that Elephant needs to get feel the touch of a woman. Stat.

 

Without spoilerising for those who don't wanna be spoilerised, how long did these massive slugfests take? Ie the grendel & Dragon?

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