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funny things we do with food


amynicole
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From craigslist.com:

 

Survival Of The Fittest

 

"Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.

 

"Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the 'loser,' and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.

 

"I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.

 

"Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.

 

"When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, 'Please use this M&M for breeding purposes.'

 

"This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this 'grant money.' I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.

 

"There can be only one."

 

 

 

 

just thought that was interesting. i like to eat my m&ms in pairs with one on each side of my mouth. anyone else have any funny food things?

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... Have sex with it?

 

Like baked ziti? Beefaroni? Frozen hotdogs up your pooper? Warm apple pie? A bagel? A croissant? An english muffin? Do you play dick in a blanket with a pancake and some warm maple syrup? Dick and beans?

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Here's another recipie for fun next time you're out at the movies with a date, kids!:

 

Step 1. Buy a medium or large popcorn. Buckets are best, but a bag will do.

 

Step 2. Poke a hole in the bottom of said container of popcorn. Make sure none spills out and that your date isn't watching. You can use a finger, or a key from your keychain if that doesn't work.

 

Step 3. Making sure she still isn't watching/ paying attention, jerk Mr. Happy until he gets hard, then poke him through the hole you made in the bottom of your container o' popcorn.

 

Step 4. This is the fun part! When the popcorn gets low enough, you get a nice warm, buttered up hand/fingers over your stiffy that just slides in place. Then you either get a slap in the face or a happy ending. If it's a slap in the face, read the next in our series of panphlets: Roofies: It isn't wrong if she doesn't say no. If happy ending, then enjoy a job well done. The end.

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When I eat Twix, I have to eat the chocolate and caramel off first. Then I eat the cookie :pirate:

 

When I eat fruit loops, I eat one color at a time. Usually red and orange are the first to go...

 

I have other weird food stuffs to tell, but for now, I sleep lol. <3

 

you used to eat twix like that when we were kids. lol

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Benny is so romantic...

 

Anyhoodles...

 

I eat my M&M's in color order, leaving the blue ones for last.

 

I usually eat my food in sections. Some examples: 1) Eat all my fries, then the burger. 2) eat my veggies, then my mashed taters, then my baked beans, then my steak. I rarely mix my food.

 

I WILL NOT drink milk if its the day printed on the carton and of course, any day after that. I also won't drink milk if someone else serves it for me and I didn't see them pour it (basically meaning that I don't know how long its been sitting there)...

 

I also won't eat leftovers that have fish in it. This includes sushi. If I order too much sushi that I am left with some, I will give it to someone--no way will I eat it even a few hours later...

 

I'm sure there's more...

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I usually eat my food in sections. Some examples: 1) Eat all my fries, then the burger. 2) eat my veggies, then my mashed taters, then my baked beans, then my steak. I rarely mix my food.

 

ha! i do the same thing! do you eat your meal in any particular order? i usually eat things from food i like the least to best. i'll also ration my food so that if i start getting full on one of the "lesser" foods, i'll move on so i know there'll be room so i can eat all of my favorite thing still.

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you used to eat twix like that when we were kids. lol

 

Yup :ifyouknowwhatimean: Old habits die hard, hehe.

 

I WILL NOT drink milk if its the day printed on the carton and of course, any day after that. I also won't drink milk if someone else serves it for me and I didn't see them pour it (basically meaning that I don't know how long its been sitting there)...

 

Cj is the same way when it comes to expiration dates. If it's the day of or after he chunks it in the trash.

A long time ago he was making a sandwich, and when he pulled the bread out it had these bugs or worms in it because the bread was old, so he's paranoid about old/expired stuff now.

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ha! i do the same thing! do you eat your meal in any particular order? i usually eat things from food i like the least to best. i'll also ration my food so that if i start getting full on one of the "lesser" foods, i'll move on so i know there'll be room so i can eat all of my favorite thing still.

 

Yes! OK, at least I know I'm not abnormal or anything...

 

Meia is worse than I am...her food CANNOT touch...you know, like the scene in TOYS where LL Cool J talk about his food needing to be quarantined. She loves those disposable sectioned plates they sell at the grocery store...

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Yes! OK, at least I know I'm not abnormal or anything...

 

 

psh, of course not! i know a couple other people who do that too.

 

and wendy's fries dipped in frosty is awesomely delicious.

 

sometimes, my dad puts ketchup on his scrambled eggs. when he was in the army, scrambled eggs were made from a powdered mix and tasted crappy so a lot of people used to put ketchup on them so he grew to like it that way.

 

i like to eat limes with salt every once in a while. i also used to squeeze lime juice onto salted chips and eat them.

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sometimes, my dad puts ketchup on his scrambled eggs. when he was in the army, scrambled eggs were made from a powdered mix and tasted crappy so a lot of people used to put ketchup on them so he grew to like it that way.

 

The best "poor man's" meal is two eggs sunny side up under a pile of white rice...my mom used to serve us that with a ketchup happy face. Delish! Haven't eaten it in years, but it brings back memories of growing up...DK loves it and says that Meia doesn't make it enough. Benny will get to know it quite well once we move... :ohface:

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