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Hondo's Bar

If I were a superhero...

Reverend Jax

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Let's all try to be a like less cynical than this and try to come up with names for our would-be alter-egos. If you like, include powers, costume design, origin and backstory, etc. I'm pretty inimaginative, I usually see myself as a Jedi, but I'll think about it a while longer and if I can up with something, I'll post it, but in the meantime, go nuts! The ongoing adventures of Indecisive Boy...

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  • 3 years later...
  • 5 years later...

Name: Wizzleteets


Power: Possess two small 1/2 inch diameter extradimensional gateways on both sides of his chest, affectionately named "Pip" and "Caladbolg", one of which can project a highly corrosive, steaming liquid and the other a slippery, aromatic substance that tastes almost, but not entirely, completely unlike buttermilk.


Weaknesses: Severe dyslexia


Mode of transportation: Slides on puddles created by the slippery nipple, or melts the bottom of his shoe when he picks the wrong one.


Source of abilities: Benevolent mutation


Costume: Nippleless spandex shirt and whatever pants are clean

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Name: The Ultimately Spectacular, Sensational and Amazing Spider-Panch

Powers: spider cliches, lack of imagination

Weaknesses: the 90s, copywrite infringement, vaginas

Enemies: The Lizard, clones, female Filipino doctors

Source of abilities: bitten by a radioactive Peter Parker

Costume: Tobey Maguire hand-me-downs

First appearance:


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