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Dragonball: Evolution


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Anime is a medium which often gets translated to live-action movies. Thankfully, this sort of thing usually doesnt leave japan; their benevolent country, as i hypothesize, employs the same barriers which keep mecha-godzilla/mothra/et all over there on this sort of thing too, to ensure that you have to look way, way harder than you should to find out how crappy that live action Fist of the North Star really was (GTO was eh, La Blue Girl will give you nightmares...i'm told.).

 

Against all better reason, and at the request of i'm not really sure who since at least 2003 or so, they're doing a live action here stateside, and somehow, Chow Yun Fat got suckered into it. What follows is the current trailer, which struck me as 1/4 Masters of the Universe, 1/4 Double Dragon, and the remaining 1/2 Mortal Kombat Annihilation. You've just got to see it.

 

 

never got into the series, but wasnt vegeta a big player? did i miss him?

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and somehow, Chow Yun Fat got suckered into it.

 

You mean the same Chow Yun Fat who starred in Anna and the King, Bulletproof Monk, and Pirates 3? Wow, yeah, how'd they manage that coup? :2T:

 

Man, this looks truly terrible. And it has what looks like some of the slowest martial arts fight scenes I've seen in a long time.

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Honestly they could have made this movie not suck. That is of course if it had been done by any other production company than Fox.

 

Vegeta was part of Dragon Ball Z which was the series following Dragon Ball. It was like the original except all the fun fairy tail elements and humor were dropped in favor of everyone learning how to become glowy and disproportionate and fly and ultimately stand still with their hands in the air for half a season making some super ultra powerful ball of energy for half a season only for it not to fucking work.

 

Dragon Ball was more a fairy tale that incorporated kung fu and was just rather fun. You watch Dragon Ball and you can see how Akira Toryama was actually partially responsible for Chrono Trigger.

 

As for the movie, it looks like something the WB shat out on their Wednesday night line-up. Still I will go see it on the off chance that it maybe is kinda okay. It's nice to see that they apparently spent their entire effects budget on that transforming motorcycle thing.

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You mean the same Chow Yun Fat who starred in Anna and the King, Bulletproof Monk, and Pirates 3? Wow, yeah, how'd they manage that coup? :2T:

 

point and match. i dont know how many more years im gonna be able to preserve the Hard Boiled/Better Tomorrow image in my head of Chow.

 

baytor's got the same idea i did: that felt like they dumped everything they had into that motorcycle thing. i hope the toy sells like mad or theyre never gonna break even.

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This kind of thing makes me wonder whether I'm tempting fate to wish for a live action Cowboy Bebop movie. Of course, considering the source material for this thing was garbage to start with, I'd say this trailer looks on point and true to the spirit of the original: the spirit of garbage. Still, movies like this are important as a point of reference, so we can know precisely what 'good' is not.

Edited by Reverend Jax
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As probably the biggest fan of Dragon Ball on the board (just look at my former screename)... I'd rather masturbate with shards of broken glass and toast my balls on the max/charcoal setting than see this... but I might see it anyway just out of morbid curiosity to see how bad one can fuck up a movie. (Also I think Baytor's description of the Dragonball series is pretty accurate.)

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The first trailer looked worse, but this is right down there. ::sigh:: As a huge fan of the manga and show, that was like a dick to the eye. You don't know how depressing it is to see that. I mean, there is so much wrong in what I just saw that could have been done right. For example that scene with the transforming bike. Really, is it that complicated to throw a goddamn capsule on the floor and make it go ::POOF:: instant bike. Argh, apparently so. They needed to take a "cool' route for even the littlest thing that the 'fans' would have appreciated. In any case, as a fan of Dragonball, I really have no choice but to watch this movie. I really don't want to, I have to. The things you do for the things you love :\

Edited by Losifer
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I know just how ya feel, Losifer. This is the equivalent of... if they were to make a movie about Yu-Yu Hakusho and instead of Hiei's Dragon of the Darkness Flame, they just give him a flame thrower with darkness written in white out on it.

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It's not a fight of skill, it's a fight of who is the bigger Deus Ex and that's Goku every time. Seriously "Oh no we can't beat 'name of villain of the week here' and nobody has to power, oh wait Goku just learned 'add increasingly more bullshit sounding attack' and can now become super saiyan 'number higher than the last number, if he can do it while turning into the giant cat ape thing it is even more nut-bustingly awesome.'

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It's not a fight of skill, it's a fight of who is the bigger Deus Ex and that's Goku every time. Seriously "Oh no we can't beat 'name of villain of the week here' and nobody has to power, oh wait Goku just learned 'add increasingly more bullshit sounding attack' and can now become super saiyan 'number higher than the last number, if he can do it while turning into the giant cat ape thing it is even more nut-bustingly awesome.'

 

LMAO! that just made my day.... (its been a long day lol)

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Right-io. So I found this movie pirating website that actually has the FULL MOVIE for watching available in VHS quality at the below link. It was videotaped at a screening in China, but they did a pretty good job.

zShare - Dragonball Evolution

 

I know its scheduled to be state-side on April 8th, but hey! Why waste an hour of your time in theaters when you can watch it for free, right?

 

Yes, I did say an hour. The movie is roughly 70 minutes long and so full of cheese, it almost made me blush. While its neat to see a real-life, strapping 18 year old Goku kamehameha a few times and fight alongside Chow Yun Fat, its really...quite disappointing. Maybe if I were 5 again it'd be worth it, as I was constantly reminded of the first Power Rangers movie and how awesome it was back then... Yet even still, this movie didn't hold a candle to Power Rangers. I dare say that it sucked worse than most made-for-TV movies I've seen in the last decade.

 

Be your own judge, though! Let me know your opinions, too. If you were ever a fan of the series, I know you're gonna watch it. Sorry to disappoint though, dudes. :)

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I'd make the claim I am a bigger fan of DB/DBZ/DBGT than Greyskull but that would be pointless. I have a DBZ skin on my ps3 if that says anything. I also own the dvd collection of all the seasons of DBZ and DBGT and I have about half of DB, I just can't find the other seasons for a reasonable price. I also have the DB manga collection. The trailer looked absolutely horrible, but I am off to watch the movie to see just how bad it is....here's to hoping my head doesn't explode.

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I can't do it...I made it 51 secs into that movie and I can't watch anymore. They've just butchered it beyond watching in sooo many ways in these first 51 secs that I don't think I could ever watch the rest. And now everyone who doesn't like DBZ is gonna have even MORE ammo to shoot us fans with.

 

But before that happens I am gonna call it...This isnt a Dragonball movie. It may have the title and characters but it is in no way related to dragonball at all. Ugg what a horrible disgusting piece of shit film....

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