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Zombieland

A-

Horror purists might scoff at the CW modern-rock soundtrack and facebook jokes, but I’ve never laughed so much at zombies being killed—and yes, I’ve seen Shaun of the Dead. At its core, like most good zombie flicks, this film is about more than the end of the world via zombies. It’s ultimately about four characters learning to connect with their own humanity. "Look, HANGOVER. I'm happy for your Mike Tyson cameo and ima let you have dat. But ZOMBIELAND had one of the greatest film cameos of all time. All time!”

 

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Inglourious Basterds

B+

A quintessential Tarantino film full of genre-meshing violence and airy, dialogue driven scenes. There are several scenes where the tension is so thick you could cut it with a bayonet. My major complaint is that this film doesn’t feature the titular “Basterds” enough—they’re practically guest stars in their own film! However, when the Basterds are on screen they're mesmerizing and the supporting characters and subplots Tarantino creates (a Nazi "Jew-hunter" and his prey) are equally engaging. This film is definitely a worthy addition to the sub-genre of anachronistic WWII films such as Kelly’s Heroes and The Dirty Dozen.

 

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Taking Woodstock

C

This is not so much a film about Woodstock as it is about the behind the scenes happenings that helped create Woodstock. So none of the iconic musical performances are showcased and instead there’s an oddly handled “coming of age” subplot and of course an obligatory acid-trip scene crow-barred in for good measure. As someone born long-after that infamous “summer of love,” this film felt like it was way too full of inside references and came off more like a tedious nostalgia trip you might overhear your parents or grandparents discussing after too much to drink one night while listening to their vintage LPs. That being said, those few who were actually at Woodstock will likely have a much greater appreciation and enjoyment of this film. TThe rest of us who'd like to "Experience" Woodstock can skip this disappointingly forgettable film and just listen to the much more memorable music.

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The Brothers Bloom

B-

This tale of two young orphaned brothers who become two of the world’s greatest con-men is filled with quirky charm. The youngest brother, Bloom (yes, his name is Bloom Bloom) wants out of the con-game because he cannot stand the never ending dishonesty of a life lived as a story—a well written con crafted to perfection by his older brother, Stephen. The eldest Bloom then seeks to make “one final con” to give his brother what he wants: an unwritten life. The film is ultimately about writing your own story, making your own life, and makes an inexplicably intentional blunder by letting the audience in on the con’s ultimate payoff too early in the plot. In an effort to make up for this reveal, the film’s plot becomes so muddled that both the characters and audience no longer know what’s part of Stephen’s con and what’s real. We essentially become like Bloom and distrust everything. A crafty bit of character transference to the audience by writer/director Rian Johnson, but as an audience member it doesn’t make for an overall enjoyable movie going experience not knowing which character moments to invest in emotionally. This especially makes for an uneven ending. However, The Brothers Bloom may been uneven and flawed, but it’s overall message that life is an adventure, a story we write ourselves, is a tale we should all hear and hopefully learn from.

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Anti Christ

C+

To classify writer/director Lars von Triers’ film as horror is not a total misnomer, but this film derives its scares in a much more disturbing way than most conventional films in the genre. Yes, Anti Christ is a very disturbing film on several levels. I can’t go into much more detail without spoiling the film’s ultimate message. Although I can say the film’s title itself is a big give away to the horrific conclusion realized by the film’s protagonist played by Willem Dafoe (pay close attention to how the “T” in “Christ” is written for the film’s logo). Dafoe plays a psychiatrist trying to help his wife through the loss of their child. She has an “atypical grief process” and begins to have severe panic attacks. Dafoe seeks to find the root of his wife’s panic attacks by determining the origin of what it is that frightens her so much. And that is where the horror story really begins. Unfortunately for viewers this is roughly an hour into the film. Anti Christ has a tedious pace and a theme that, if I’m clear on –which I very likely may not be as the film is overtly fond of vague symbolism—doesn’t quiet sit well with me. But it is a film that will definitely unnerve you and, if you can holdout through the first hour or so, it will have you talking after the credits roll.

 

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Drag Me To Hell

B

A young woman’s selfish deeds have severe consequences when she messes with the wrong gypsy. This film as the same classic Sam Raimi style of whimsical horror that his fans grew to love in his Evil Dead films; although it is sans the swagger and charm of one Mr. Bruce Campbell. The scares are cheap yet effective, but the last twenty minutes of the film are a bit bland as the twist ending can be seen coming from a mile down the tracks.

 

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The Hustler

A

Paul Newman channels hubris and hurt all at the same time as a cocky pool shark, or hustler, that finds love in a woman almost as damaged as himself. Jackie Gleason and Newman are on the cover, but the surprise performance comes from George C. Scott who is electrifying & menacing as the man who controls the big-time pool halls and has his own demons to face. The 2-disc special edition of this DVD is absolutely fantastic. Great commentary, several min-documentaries covering everything from the novel the film was base don to the legacy it’s left in the pool world. And my favorite feature is the option to have a pool champion do video commentary for all the pool-hall scenes. Recommended purchase.

 

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Paranormal Activity

B

This film is the definition of a “slow build” suspense film. Much like The Blair Witch Project, this is a film filmed as if it were based on real events and shot with little production on a shoestring budget. There are only four people ever on screen; the characters are believable and the performances of the two leads, a couple who decide to film the strange “paranormal activities” going on in their house, really allow the audience to be sucked into their world. The only complaint is that this is still meant to be a horror film and the scares are few and far between. The ending, however, is absolutely fantastic.

 

 

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Whatever Works

B+

Larry David stars in another underrated modern gem by writer/director Woody Allen. David plays a serial curmudgeon much like his character on his HBO show Curb Your Enthusiasm. Here he’s a fourth-wall-breaking, Nobel nominated quantum physicist who has a persistently pessimistic view on almost everything—even love…well, sort of. While Allen’s last film (Vicki Cristina Barcelona) gave no easy answers on love and lust, Whatever Works is all about easy, breezy answers—love is random & defies logic, find it and give it wherever/whenever you can no matter how small the increments. In other words: love is whatever works at the time. This sweet sentiment juxtaposed with David’s hilarious comments on the idiocy of all those around him overcome the sometimes predictable plot and ho-hum cinematography. The film’s ending may seem abrupt to some—it almost felt like an ending to an episode of Seinfeld (which David co-created), but much more positive. Hey, it worked for me though.

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nick: glad you dug'em. see hustler first though.

 

ugh, anti-christ.

 

but drag me to hell was fun.

i'm curious to know you're thoughts on anti christ. what did you think of

the whole woman is controlled by nature and nature is inherently evil therefore so is woman aspect? also, any clue as to what the deer, fox, and bird symbolized--the 3 beggars or constellations i assume, but what's their significance???

 

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ugh, anti-christ.

 

lemme axe you: is this gonna be one of those hour-and-a-half mostly crappy ones with a few bits of shock towards the end that might make me overlook it/leave on a positive note? you know how i love the ones we gotta talk about afterwards...im thinking more the darkness here than say martyrs.

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lemme axe you: is this gonna be one of those hour-and-a-half mostly crappy ones with a few bits of shock towards the end that might make me overlook it/leave on a positive note? you know how i love the ones we gotta talk about afterwards...im thinking more the darkness here than say martyrs.

 

Antichrist has a person in the credits listed as "Misogyny consultant" make of that what you will

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In Theaters:

 

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2012

C

I’m a sucker for “end of the world” type stories. And I’m familiar with Director Roland Emmerich’s style (Independence Day, Day After Tomorrow, 10,000 BC) so I went into this film fairly confident of what to expect: a good premise with an “OK” plot, fairly interesting characters that are only slightly more than one-dimensional, and outstanding special effects sequences of chaos and destruction. What I got instead was essentially a weaker version of the film Deep Impact. Remember, Deep Impact? It was that other asteroid movie—Morgan Freeman was the president—released around the same time as Michael Bay’s Aerosmith video, I mean film, Armageddon. 2012 does have the great effects sequences, but the pace is uneven and while it raises some interesting moral questions, such questions were raised in a much less ham-handed fashion in Deep Impact. If you do go to see this in the theater for the effects sequences definitely save your money and go to the matinee.

 

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Ninja Assassin

B

About halfway through this film I realized even though I’ve seen a lot of kung-fu movies, I haven’t really seen too many “ninja” movies. In fact, as inherently cool as ninjas are, other than the pseudo ninjas in Batman Begins I can’t really recall ninjas ever being featured in a major studio film. Ninja Assassin corrects this egregious error. This is a straightforward “B-Movie” revenge flick with some pretty gruesome CGI enhanced fight scenes. The plot is flimsy and the acting spotty, but I went to see people getting sliced in half by katana’s and by God did I get what I paid for! I can only hope that this film leads to a sequel, which will hopefully have more of a plot and fewer one-dimensional characters. But they can keep the excellent, stylized ninja slicing CGI fights!

 

 

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Surrogates

C

Apparently James Cromwell is the go to guy if you want to cast someone who invents androids in a film (That’s an I, Robot reference there, folks). I never read the comicbook series this film was based on, but one can only hope it wasn’t as uninspired and predictable as this flimsy non-noir lift of Blade Runner. Star Bruce Willis delivers a few good action sequences, but ultimately nothing is explored here that hasn't been done better in other films, such as the two previously mentioned.

 

 

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Where The Wild Things Are

B+

I never read Maurice Sendak's children's book as a child, so I had no sentimental or nostalgic attachments to the source material going into this film. However, I did squeeze in enough time to read the ten sentence children's book prior to seeing this Spike Jonze adaptation. Jonze's version is much darker in my opinion, but it really explores the depths of the mind of a pre-adolescent, lonely, scared, imaginative, and introverted young boy named Max. We see the problems in Max's real life then we spend the remainder of the film watching Max explore different aspects of himself that manifest in the form of monsters or "wild things" on a magical island he travels to by boat.

 

The cinematography and art direction are wonderful and make this a fun film to watch even as Max explores painful aspects of his life. However, the film's main flaw is perhaps it captures Max too well. Max is nine, and like most nine-year-olds he is prone to irrational thinking and sudden mood shifts. Since the film follows Max it also follows his moods, and this makes for some frustratingly languid scenes. The ending suffers from this especially as Max's great realization for why he needs to return "home" is only inches away from, "I'm bored with this now. I'm done." And essentially that's how the movie ends as well. This is indeed an accurate portrayal of a nine-year-old boy's mentality and totally keeps in line with the character of Max; however, it's not an entirely satisfying way to end two hours spent in a theater.

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Surrogates

C

Apparently James Cromwell is the go to guy if you want to cast someone who invents androids in a film (That’s an I, Robot reference there, folks). I never read the comicbook series this film was based on, but one can only hope it wasn’t as uninspired and predictable as this flimsy non-noir lift of Blade Runner. Star Bruce Willis delivers a few good action sequences, but ultimately nothing is explored here that hasn't been done better in other films, such as the two previously mentioned.

 

In point of fact, it was. For those taking notes Whiteout was as well.

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In point of fact, it was. For those taking notes Whiteout was as well.

Whiteout was always one of those books I'd see on the shelves back in the day, and I'd pick it up, flick through a few pages then put back down. It seemed interesting enough of a premise, just not one worth $3 an issue, or whatever the coverprice was. I hoped the film would be better but avoided it after seeing it go awful reviews.

 

You liked 30 Days of Night though, right?

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I was intrigued by both the Surrogates and Whiteout movies and immediately downloaded the books, it was a shame how dull and anticlimactic they both were to be honest, I wanted to like them.

 

If I had read 30 Days of Night before seeing the movie I never would have gone to see the movie. I love the movie, it represents everything the book should have and was trying to be but never was. I have a love-hate relationship with the ending.

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baytor: I saw the film first as well. I liked it enough, but I watched a bootlegged copy and it had no subtitles for when the vamps spoke, so I was kinda fuzzy on some of the finer plot points. I don't remember the movie ending being that different from the book. Refresh my memory por favor. The sequel is coming out in 2010 sometime as well I believe. I haven't read the comic yet though.

 

NZA: you talking about WHITEOUT the comic or movie being OK? yes, ninja assassin is what it claims to be. although i'm not sure if it's destination cinema. you could wait for video w/ this one in my opinion; unless you're really jonesin' for ninja slicin' action that isn't anime...

Edited by Mr. Hakujin
otro
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baytor: I saw the film first as well. I liked it enough, but I watched a bootlegged copy and it had no subtitles for when the vamps spoke, so I was kinda fuzzy on some of the finer plot points. I don't remember the movie ending being that different from the book. Refresh my memory por favor. The sequel is coming out in 2010 sometime as well I believe. I haven't read the comic yet though.

 

All you need to know about the vampires' subs are that they think they're very smart for coming up with this plan, they're to decapitate any victims so they don't revive, and are to leave no witnesses. The ending is exactly the same in both forms, I'm just not really sure how I feel about it.

 

And the sequel... eh, everything I've read sounds bad. Lower budget, direct to DVD, different actress playing the lead and while I haven't read the rest of the series, part of what made 30 Days of Night so good was its location so I don't know how I feel about a movie set in LA.

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baytor: yeah, i thought they were the same. i dug the ending though. i knew the sequel had a different actress, but didn't know it was direct to DVD. i torrented all the 30 ays of Night comics a while ago, but have only read the first mini-series. the 2nd one could be good though, as from what i understand it's the sheriff's wife hunting down the vamps and exacting revenge. i agree part of what made the first comic/film so interesting was the location (brilliant bit of "why didn't anyone ever think of that before" writing there) be L.A. could be interesting...

 

wait, Whiteout the movie already happened? huh.

and yeah, im so broke, when i said "looking forward to", you should pretty much put "...the DVD screener" at the end of that.

heh. understood.

and whiteout the movie came and left theaters back in september i believe. torrent that shiz and let me know if it's any good.

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500 Days of Summer

A

This film reminds me of High Fidelity in a lot of ways. It has random guy humor, fantasy sequences, pop culture references mostly musically influenced, an excellent soundtrack that integrates music into the plot, and speaking of plot—a timeline that jumps randomly yet never leaves you confused on what’s going on with the characters. Unlike High Fidelity though, the protagonist, played by possibly the next John Cusack—one Mr. Joseph Gordon-Levitt—takes a much different journey through love found and lost. The journey is both entertaining and touching.

 

 

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Monsters vs Aliens

B

What is lacks in heart and characterization it makes up for in spectacle. The film was specifically made for “tru 3D” in theaters yet it is disappointingly not presented in 3D on blu-ray. However, it does have two short animated features that are in 3D yet it just makes you wish all the more the actual film was presented as such.

 

 

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UP

A

Pixar again achieves a masterfully crafted blend of emotion, entertainment, and originality in a beautiful CGI animated package. The first twenty minutes of the film is nearly void of dialogue (much like last year’s Pixar hit WALL-E) yet it never fails to hold your attention. The film begins on a bit of a sad note, okay, on a VERY sad note, but that just endears the audience all the more to the characters. Ultimately UP is uplifting.

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Avatar [imax 3D]

B+

James Cameron has done what George Lucas couldn’t do in three Star Wars prequels: created a totally unique, non-cheezy, and immersive sci-fi/action moviegoing experience. Avatar is the kind of film where you can see the ending coming from a mile away; however, that doesn’t ever stop the audience from being completely riveted to what’s going on the screen. Cameron has created a photorealistic alien world and somehow managed to not make 10 foot tall Smurfs and bio-luminescent trees laughable. I enjoyed the characters and action so much that part of me really wants to give this film an “A-“ grade, but I doubt the film will hold up as well outside of the 3D moviegoing experience.

 

 

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Four Christmases

D+

Vince Vaughn & Reese Witherspoon play a young(ish) professional couple that are the products of two divorced families. They discover over the course of one Christmas day (spent at each of their parents’ houses—hence the title) that their modern views on family and romance cannot compete with the “natural” and “normal” urge to settle down and procreate. Yes, it’s as unfunny and contrived a film as it sounds.

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Sorry, NZA, didn't get to see any dinos or firebreathing dragons in this Holmes film--but they couldn't have hurt. . .

 

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Sherlock Holmes

B

Batman & Robin + a small dose of Indiana Jones + a dash of the slightest whisper of a tinge of steampunk + one too many “Bromance” moments = this film.

 

 

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Up In The Air

B

I’m not sure what I’m missing that put this film at the top of so many critics lists for best film of 2009, but I’m not seeing what makes this film so exceptional. George Clooney plays a man who loves his isolation, traveling and his job—firing people. The current economy has made that aspect of the film a relevant topic, but it’s only an aspect of the film. It’s mostly about growing up and figuring out what you want from life. Up In The Air gives an interesting character study and is written in such a way that the ending should have you talking; it is by no standards a bad film—just an overrated one.

 

 

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Band of Brothers [blu-Ray]

A+

Tom Hanks & Steven Spielberg originally produced this 10 hour long HBO miniseries about the exploits of E-Company from the US 101st Airborne during WWII. The interactive features on this set are astounding. With DVDs the best a fan could hope for where entertaining and insightful documentaries and commentaries, but with Blu-Ray you can actually have an interactive experience. One such feature is the “field guide timeline” where you can click and watch war-time news reels about the battles in question, look at interactive maps, or read info on soldiers & equipment as the episode plays. The other feature, my favorite, is where, w/ a picture-in-picture box, the actual men of Easy Company comment about what’s happening on screen as the episode plays. This is a must own set for any WWII buff w/ a Blu-Ray player.

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Moon

B

Sam Rockwell stars in this somber paced film as the sole worker on a future moon base that mines a substance known as helieum3. His character signed up for a three year contract and with only two weeks to go the isolation begins to take its toll. Sci-fi savvy fans may see the film’s twist coming before the big reveal, but Rockwell gives such an enthrallingly engaging and emotional performance that you won’t care.

 

 

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Adventureland

C+

This film reminds me of Nick & Nora’s Infinite Playlist in that it attempts to blend the teen comedy with the indie love story. Both films fail to hit the mark and offer to few laughs, poor pacing, and too many clichéd plot points.

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