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Hondo's Bar

Good Start


archangel

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This is....sloppy. Though a good effort, considering it's only a Beta.

 

Folks, this is exactly where the Hondo's Bar of the 21st Century should go. But I don't think you've thought this out to it's maximum potential yet.

 

We need to bring back the organized forums: it has a higher income potential, don't you see?

 

The Boards itself can be subsidized by two major corporations, but it's in the Forums where the real income is.

 

Why?

 

Target Marketing.

 

Picture this: News and Current Events, Fair and Balanced Reporting (brought to you by Newscorp).

We all know newspapers are going the way of the Dinosaur: blogging is where the money's at. But the natural progression of the Blog is the Forum: where news is just told to you, it's made. Since all other major companies are dying out we have two choices: Time-Warner or Newscorp. But we all know Ted Turner is broke, so I've brokered a deal with Newscorp pending Company Approval.

 

Movie Reviews, brought to you by Time-Warner AOL and Fandango

Do you remember when finding a movie was tedious, with having to look into newspapers for your local showings? Then came the Movie Phone. Movie Phone was ingenious, this is even better!

 

An interactive posting, search by zip code, of all movies AND REVIEWS TO MATCH THEM! That way you'll know how good the movie is before you invest in it. I got both Time-Warner AOL and Fandango to sponsor, Fandango promising a 50% profit split of all tickets purchased generated by searches originating from here.

 

H3LL's Kitchen (I know what you're going to say, but bear with me) brought to you by Chef Ramsay.

 

The guy from the TV show with the same name gave us the rights so long as a link is placed at the top with his name. Popular show, each time the link is clicked we get 5 cents. Nielson ratings show this to be the most popular cooking show in America. It virtually pays for itself. (and <CENSORED> isn't really a bad word, it's in at least three Disney Movies, so it should p<CENSORED> the censors so long as we ensure the connotation is specific, ie the Kitchen.)

 

The Pubs, brought to you by Hooters

What can I say? Sex sells, and in a safe, family environment, too!

 

The American Idol Music Forum, sponsored and in partnership with American Idol

 

This is a gold mine in and of itself, and I secured merchandising rights, too.

 

The Fantastic Forums, brought to you by Marvel Entertainment (fixed after Jax's valid and constructive point)

I even got us the rights to the name. Only catch is NO DC STUFF, which is fine cos nobody reads that stuff anyway.

 

This is just what I worked on from this morning, I have more meetings this afternoon for the other forums. Figures show with the implementation of just these three we could see profits of $500,000 by the end of the first quarter.

 

So, what do you think?

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this stuff's really good. Im running it past our A&R guy right now, he's just saying "no matter what, dont let joel get the animation rights." I'm new to this, so that technical jargon's going right over me.

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I have three important questions as Hondos Inc moves forward into this dynamic, synergistic business model. (I'll be sending around memos to all the people who need to be in the loop on this. Make sure you read them and file them with your responses on a form 829T. That's the forest green 829, not the lime green)

 

-Will we concluding our bonus structure agreement soon? I feel that us moderators in management are still not secure in our annual payout guarantees. I still think that a promise of 292 million should be set as a minimum, with room for increases based on performance (like words censor4ed, posters banned, threads locked, etc).

 

-Are we ever going to get our money's worth from that lobbyist we pay down on K street and finally get some of that sweet corporate cheese that's being handed out in Washington DC? They're pretty much taking all comers, from the lazy to the inept to the downright avaricious. And Hondos Inc. has proudly excelled in all three of those categories.

 

-Lastly, I know we discussed this at the last meeting we had of the sub-committee on social activities and functions, but I still think a broader airing of the issue is needed to truly settle it: I think that the decision to restart Casual Fridays will only harm us in the long run, especially our image. Any uptick in morale from the cubicle denizens chained to their desk is only going to be temporary at best and the next thing you know they'll be wanting 'Sauna Saturdays and that is clearly a management-only perk for good reason.*

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*Don't anybody tell Admin Nicholas about the secret Sauna Room we've installed behind the door to supply closet <CENSORED>

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