Iambaytor Posted February 17, 2008 Share Posted February 17, 2008 (edited) Congratulations dear, you've set your gender back 100 years. Edited February 17, 2008 by Iambaytor Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The NZA Posted February 17, 2008 Author Share Posted February 17, 2008 you know, having a Wii might mean sifting through tons of shovelware, but every now and again, the 3rd party developers really put out some gems. YOU are Chad Hopkins, a member of the deadly ninja: masters of stealth, assassination, espionage and martial combat. You are not a very good one. You graduated at the bottom of your ninja class (you missed a lot of classes because you were having problems with your girlfriend Jean at the time). Now all the other ninja have been wiped out, and it’s up to you to save the world. And sadly, you won’t be able to, because as previously mentioned, you’re really not very good. You can’t jump more than a foot, your katanas are cheap replicas you bought off a guy with a lazy eye at a gun show in Houston, and you’ve been smoking since high school, so it’s pretty tough these days to clear a flight of steps without running out of breath. Plus you’re not getting any younger. You’re pretty much as good as you’re ever going to be, and it’s still not even slightly impressive. You’re sort of a joke in martial arts circles, to be honest. CLUMSY MELEE COMBAT Unresponsive controls, sluggish responses and blatant AI cheats combine to immerse you in the experience of being a laughably sub-standard fighter with limited range of motion NO ACTUAL PLOT Every level is randomly chosen without any context whatsoever, emulating how it would feel to not really know what’s going on at any time STEEP LEARNING CURVES Impossible-to-master moves, an incomprehensibly vague manual and infrequent save points will help you see through the eyes of a clumsy, uncoordinated idiot CLOSED WORLD GAMEPLAY A limited sandbox with few choices ensures you will affect the outcome of the game in NO WAY WHATSOEVER CHARACTER REGRESSION As you progress in the game, your character not only won’t learn new moves, he will actually forget things you’ve already taught him to do depending on his level of embarrassment as a result of enemies not really taking him seriously Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The NZA Posted February 17, 2008 Author Share Posted February 17, 2008 seriously, that had better be a high school paper. on a lighter note, LL's stumbles are full of win, cause its hard to call what i liked better between Fox News throughout the ages, that clipping or Dr. Mario gone wrong. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lycaon Posted February 17, 2008 Share Posted February 17, 2008 seriously, that had better be a high school paper. on a lighter note, LL's stumbles are full of win, cause its hard to call what i liked better between Fox News throughout the ages, that clipping or Dr. Mario gone wrong. Amen. In fact, I believe I need to make a stop by the FHD thread. I wonder who corrected that, and what reactions (s)he might've had while going over it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lycaon Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 It's just a jump to the left... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the division of joy Posted February 19, 2008 Share Posted February 19, 2008 For the ladies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The NZA Posted February 19, 2008 Author Share Posted February 19, 2008 some of the finest cartoons of our time come from video games. behold: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the division of joy Posted February 19, 2008 Share Posted February 19, 2008 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iambaytor Posted February 20, 2008 Share Posted February 20, 2008 One Thing PC users can do that Mac users can't Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iambaytor Posted February 20, 2008 Share Posted February 20, 2008 http://www.amazon.com/Betty-Color-Hair-Dow...5225&sr=8-9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The NZA Posted February 20, 2008 Author Share Posted February 20, 2008 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
La Lindsay Posted February 21, 2008 Share Posted February 21, 2008 oh, the onion, how well you capture the essence of american news outlets... Breaking News: Something Happening In Haiti Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The NZA Posted February 22, 2008 Author Share Posted February 22, 2008 thanks again bishop, fade to bluegrass is fun shit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jables Posted February 22, 2008 Share Posted February 22, 2008 Christ knows the dream is over but I just don't care. I will sell my soul or even my pending marriage to Alana to Mephisto for this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The NZA Posted February 22, 2008 Author Share Posted February 22, 2008 "..." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Fluffakins Posted February 22, 2008 Share Posted February 22, 2008 Its five o'clock in the morning, I'm going to get tacos and tank up on box wine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
archangel Posted February 22, 2008 Share Posted February 22, 2008 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The NZA Posted February 22, 2008 Author Share Posted February 22, 2008 and to finish, nobody fucks with rapecat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iambaytor Posted February 22, 2008 Share Posted February 22, 2008 So after being Rickroll'd for the 100th time I realized that much like 100% of 80s music if you can't see the video the song is actually kinda catchy. SO I downloaded it onto the laptop (AKA "My Ipod") and tucked it away in my music folder. I always just put my windows media player on "Play All" and "Random" so I can cycle through songs. I haven't heard House of the Rising Sun in months but I've heard Never Gonna Give You Up 8 times this week. Even my computer is Rickrolling me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The NZA Posted February 22, 2008 Author Share Posted February 22, 2008 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iambaytor Posted February 22, 2008 Share Posted February 22, 2008 I'd hit it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The NZA Posted February 22, 2008 Author Share Posted February 22, 2008 yeah, but that's like the nintendo seal of approval by the late 80's, you can basically slap that motto onto anything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iambaytor Posted February 22, 2008 Share Posted February 22, 2008 yeah, but that's like the nintendo seal of approval by the late 80's, you can basically slap that motto onto anything. Well I wouldn't pay a $3 a minute to watch it fondle itself, that's for damn sure. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The NZA Posted February 22, 2008 Author Share Posted February 22, 2008 so, uh, $1.50 then? we know you're an interested buyer now, its just down to nailing down a price, so to speak. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iambaytor Posted February 22, 2008 Share Posted February 22, 2008 Judging by the look on her face she'd probably do it for free on the principal that someone actually wants to see her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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