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Blargh - The Random Thread


The NZA

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"I mean to kill you in one minute, Ned, or see you hanged in Fort Smith at Judge Parker's convenience. Which'll it be?"

 

"I call that bold talk for a one-eyed fat man!"

 

"! ...Fill your hand, you son of a bitch!"

 

some days, i miss my westerns.

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Three men who were lost in the forest were captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they pass a trial. The first step of the trial was to go to the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So all three men went separate ways to gather fruits.

 

The first one came back and said to the king, "I brought ten apples." The king then explained the trial to him. "You have to shove the fruits up your butt without any expression on your face or you'll be eaten."

 

The first apple went in... but on the second one he winced out in pain, so he was killed.

 

The second one arrived and showed the king ten berries. When the king explained the trial to him he thought to himself that this should be easy. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8... and on the ninth berry he burst out in laughter and was killed.

 

The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one asked, "Why did you laugh, you almost got away with it?" The second one replied, "I couldn't help it, I saw the third guy coming with pineapples."

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"We have a new vistor to the porn section. He's been in twice now. Actually, he's been in at least three times, as he is a registered member, but he's only stood out twice.

 

He comes in, goes down to the straight porn section, and whips out a hand mirror. Then he applies makeup for about an hour.

 

Seriously.

 

No browsing, no chatting people up, no whacking. In, mirror, makeup and out. And again, he's in the straight section.

 

No one's sure what to do yet.

 

The last time he was in, two clerks went down to ask him a) what was up and b) to leave. He pointed out that he was a registered member, and that he wasn't stealing, whacking off, or bothering anyone. Since he wasn't hurting anyone, why did he have to leave?

 

Nobody's thought of an answer yet, and we're not really sure we want to toss him for loitering. He is, after all, just putting on makeup.

 

But why in our porn section? It has such harsh fluorescent lighting.

 

I'm sure we'll find out eventually. I can't wait."

 

more at...

true porn video clerk stories...

Edited by Nknight
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