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The NZA

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So my friend told me this story today and I nearly pissed myself laughing. She has a severely autistic nephew and they took him to the zoo a couple of months ago. At some point during the day they turn around and the kid has disappeared. They freak out, search high and low, get the authorities, call him on the loudspeaker, everything. They find him alone in a bathroom, soaking wet and reeking like fish. He's screaming his head off, and won't let go of his backpack. They get him out of the zoo, finally, as they're pretty much being kicked out, and the kid is still screaming. They get half way home and the kid has managed to calm down a bit, but he keeps whimpering and they hear strange noises in the backseat. So they pull over and get the kid out of the car. He still won't let go of his backpack. They manage to wrestle it away from him and the kid has STOLEN A PENGUIN!! He must have somehow managed to get into a restricted area and gotten it into his backpack without anyone noticing, though nobody knows how.

 

I wanna hang out with this kid.

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Ninjas can kill anyone they want! Ninjas cut off heads ALL the time and don't even think twice about it. These guys are so crazy and awesome that they flip out ALL the time. I heard that there was this ninja who was eating at a diner. And when some dude dropped a spoon the ninja killed the whole town. My friend Mark said that he saw a ninja totally uppercut some kid just because the kid opened a window.

And that's what I call REAL Ultimate Power!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you don't believe that ninjas have REAL Ultimate Power you better get a life right now or they will chop your head off!!! It's an easy choice, if you ask me.

Ninjas are sooooooooooo sweet that I want to crap my pants. I can't believe it sometimes, but I feel it inside my heart. These guys are totally awesome and that's a fact. Ninjas are fast, smooth, cool, strong, powerful, and sweet. I can't wait to start yoga next year. I love ninjas with all of my body (including my pee pee).

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