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Shit My Dad Says

 

Motherfucker got a book deal and a TV series from his fucking twitter account! God is so unfair.

 

But truthfully, his dad does say some funny shit:

 

"Son, no one gives a shit about all the things your cell phone does. You didn't invent it, you just bought it. Anybody can do that."

 

"You look just like Stephen Hawking...Relax, I meant like a non-paralyzed version of him. Feel better?... Fine. Forget I said it."

 

“We’re banned from the dog park. Well, I guess it’s okay to hump, and it’s okay to bark, but both at the same time freaks people out."

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Shit My Dad Says

 

Motherfucker got a book deal and a TV series from his fucking twitter account! God is so unfair.

 

But truthfully, his dad does say some funny shit:

 

"Son, no one gives a shit about all the things your cell phone does. You didn't invent it, you just bought it. Anybody can do that."

 

"You look just like Stephen Hawking...Relax, I meant like a non-paralyzed version of him. Feel better?... Fine. Forget I said it."

 

"We're banned from the dog park. Well, I guess it's okay to hump, and it's okay to bark, but both at the same time freaks people out."

Dear God....I think I found my idol

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