the division of joy Posted June 9, 2010 Share Posted June 9, 2010 (edited) Edited June 9, 2010 by the division of joy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Special K Posted June 10, 2010 Share Posted June 10, 2010 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Special K Posted June 10, 2010 Share Posted June 10, 2010 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the division of joy Posted June 10, 2010 Share Posted June 10, 2010 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
archangel Posted June 10, 2010 Share Posted June 10, 2010 If George W. Bush had been the first President to need a teleprompter installed to be able to get through a press conference, would you have laughed and said this is more proof of how inept he is on his own and is really controlled by smarter men behind the scenes? If George W. Bush had spent 850 thousand dollars of Tax Payer money to take Laura Bush to a play in NYC, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had reduced your retirement plan's holdings of GM stock by 90% and given the unions a majority stake in GM, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had made a joke at the expense of the Special Olympics, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had given Gordon Brown a set of inexpensive and incorrectly formatted DVDs, when Gordon Brown had given him a thoughtful and historically significant gift, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had given the Queen of England an iPod containing videos of his speeches, would you have thought this embarrassingly narcissistic and tacky? If George W. Bush had bowed to the King of Saudi Arabia , would you have approved? If George W. Bush had visited Austria and made reference to the non-existent "Austrian language," would you have brushed it off as a minor slip? If George W. Bush had filled his cabinet and circle of advisers with people who did not pay their income taxes, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had stated that there were 57 states in the United States , would you have said that he is clueless. If George W. Bush would have flown all the way to Denmark to make a five minute speech about how the Olympics would benefit him walking out his front door in Texas , would you have thought he was a self important, conceded, egotistical prick. If George W. Bush had been so Spanish illiterate as to refer to "Cinco de Cuatro" in front of the Mexican ambassador when it was the 5th of May (Cinco de Mayo), and continued to flub it when he tried again, would you have winced in embarrassment? If George W. Bush had mis-spelled the word "advice" would you have hammered him for it for years like Dan Quayle and potatoe as proof of what a dunce he is? If George W. Bush had burned 9,000 gallons of jet fuel to go plant a single tree on Earth Day, would you have concluded he's a hypocrite? If George W. Bush's administration had okayed Air Force One flying low over millions of people followed by a jet fighter in downtown Manhattan causing widespread panic, would you have wondered whether they actually get what happened on 9-11? If George W Bush had failed to send relief aid to flood victims throughout the Midwest with more people killed or made homeless than in New Orleans, would you want it made into a major ongoing political issue with claims of racism and incompetence? If George W. Bush had created the position of 32 Czars who report directly to him, bypassing the House and Senate on much of what is happening in America , would you have approved. If George W. Bush had ordered the firing of the CEO of a major corporation, even though he had no constitutional authority to do so, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had proposed to double the national debt in one year, which had taken more than two centuries to accumulate, would you have approved? If George W. Bush had then proposed to double the debt again within 10 years, would you have approved? So, tell me again, what is it about Obama that makes him so brilliant and impressive? Can't think of anything? Don't worry. He's done all this in 10 months -- so you'll have three years and two months to come up with an answer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The NZA Posted June 11, 2010 Author Share Posted June 11, 2010 oh shit, is my grandma now forwarding other hondonians dumb shit too? i'm so sorry, dude. i told my uncle that netbook was a bad idea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Special K Posted June 11, 2010 Share Posted June 11, 2010 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newtype Posted June 11, 2010 Share Posted June 11, 2010 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keth Posted June 11, 2010 Share Posted June 11, 2010 The New Testamentby Lev Novak 3 days ago God: Hey Jews. Jews: Hey. God: So listen guys, I'm thinking we go in a different direction with this whole religion. Jews: What? God: You know, do a non-gritty reboot. Same God taste, new God packaging. That sort of thing. Jews: We don't follow. God: Okay, work with me here guys. Remember the whole ‘angry God' thing? Jews: Vividly. God: Where I killed a whole bunch of you and- Jews: Yeah. God: And forty years in the- Jews: We remember that. God: Not to mention Robo-Hitler. Yikes. Jews: Wait, what? God: Whoops, forget I said that. "Spoiler Alert", am I right? Jews: ... God: Anyway, we're going to re-work this whole “God- thing. For example, kid-friendly is big these days in religion. Jews: So, like...? God: For example, I'm super chill now, for some reason. Plus there's a heaven. Oh, and this is Jesus. He's my son, and he's God too, or something. It's complicated, ok? Jesus: Yo. Jews: I think we'll stick with the old one here. God:Look, I love the brand loyalty Jews, I really do. But this whole “God- thing isn't playing to the right demographics. Jesus is a hip, young God, you know, for the whole “A.D.- generations. Jesus: Surfs up, dudes! God: Ha, that Jesus. What a character, right? This is going to play huge in Rome… Jews: This…goes against everything you've ever told us. God: No it doesn't, so just shut up. Also, Jesus, you're going to die. Jesus: What? I thought I was your son! Or God. Or both! God: Look, this is just complicated, okay Jesus? Besides, you totally return when you fight the Devil. Jews: Who? God: Right, he's another new character. He's like an evil God. Plot twist, right? We're arch enemies. Jesus: Why would youmake your own arch-enemy? That's really stupid. God: Shut up, Jesus. Andwhat would you know? You're made of bread and wine. Jesus: What? Why? God: Sponsorships, alright? New testaments aren't cheap. Jews: I'm sorry, this is just way too different. Is this your fan-fiction or something? God: Of course not. This is the logical progression of Judaism which I planned all along. Like when I made all those references to a lamb. Jews: You made, like, five. God: Well, they were all about Jesus. Foreshadowing. Um, I guess. So there. Jews: Couldn't you have been clearer then? God: I work in mysterious ways, okay? Look, just go with it guys. I worked really hard on this. And come on, you totally owe me for the whole 'creation' thing anyway. (pause) Most Jews: Well, I guess we could. God: Awesome! 'Most Jews', aka 'New Christians'- New Christians: We're what now? God: You won't regret this guys, I have the whole thing planned perfectly Holy Ghost: Oooooooooh! God: ... New Christians: ... God: You're going to love it. Courtesy of collegehumor.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MetalHeart Posted June 11, 2010 Share Posted June 11, 2010 I can't wait to see this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HypnotizinChikns Posted June 12, 2010 Share Posted June 12, 2010 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The NZA Posted June 12, 2010 Author Share Posted June 12, 2010 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MetalHeart Posted June 12, 2010 Share Posted June 12, 2010 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The NZA Posted June 12, 2010 Author Share Posted June 12, 2010 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The NZA Posted June 13, 2010 Author Share Posted June 13, 2010 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
archangel Posted June 13, 2010 Share Posted June 13, 2010 wait for it...wait for it..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
archangel Posted June 13, 2010 Share Posted June 13, 2010 Ask Bruce Willis. this thing is funny as shit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the division of joy Posted June 14, 2010 Share Posted June 14, 2010 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newtype Posted June 14, 2010 Share Posted June 14, 2010 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The NZA Posted June 16, 2010 Author Share Posted June 16, 2010 every world cup, i get reminded how much hotter soccer fans are than other sports. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lycaon Posted June 16, 2010 Share Posted June 16, 2010 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lycaon Posted June 17, 2010 Share Posted June 17, 2010 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newtype Posted June 19, 2010 Share Posted June 19, 2010 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The NZA Posted June 19, 2010 Author Share Posted June 19, 2010 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newtype Posted June 19, 2010 Share Posted June 19, 2010 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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