celso_otero
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Posts posted by celso_otero
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i found it a good movie it keep you in to the film and your pants soiled :0
and it add well to the Resident Evil story line
n najk.ghngm
dgnOBN
M Us T rEsit th e UrGe to spoiL
ahhhhh
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ozzy ???
good quetion he shoud be in there already
or do you have to retire first to get in ???
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first of all who saw it and did you like it or hate it
then we start the spoling
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hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
:werd:
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damn it !!!
that what happens when you let stupid poeple bread
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nick sounds like you need a nap
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ok Hmmmmmm ???
what do you think about "Earth: final conflict"
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i exersise my right not to vote
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i like my 1st & 3rd preson sooter games infact i just got out oa round of counter strike
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since there is no si-fi bord im puting it here.
dose any body else wach it it comes on Sat. 4PM on WB and the last epesode on Sun. 2AM (this is when i watch it i'm nocturnal you know). it is not the episodic star treck crap it is more like they are show a noval all most like bablon 5.
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what if wrong with trade paper back?? execp that they paper back. (i perfor hard covers)
the rules
in Sensible Chuckle
Posted
here are the rules
and dont forget to vote on your favreat
Rule #1: Thou shalt not rent Chocolat.
Rule #6: Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally
killed and eaten by his fellow partygoers.
Rule #85 (The Sergeant Schultz Rule): When queried by a buddy's wife,
girlfriend, mother, father, priest, shrink, dentist, accountant, or dog
walker, you need not and should not provide any useful information
whatsoever as to his whereabouts. You are even permitted to deny his very
existence.
Rule #212: Unless he murdered someone in your immediate family, you must
bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.
Rule #404: Acceptable excuse for not helping a friend move furniture: Your
legs have been severed in a freak threshing accident. Acceptable excuse for
not helping a friend of a friend move furniture: You'd rather stay home and
watch Speed Buggy reruns.
Rule #723 (The Tuxedo Cloaking Rule): A best-man toast must not include any
of the following phrases: "down in Tijuana," "improbably booting out his
nose," "mostly scabbed over," or "energetic Greco-Roman clusterfuck."
Rule #959: You may exaggerate any anecdote told in a bar by 50 percent
without recrimination; beyond that, anyone within earshot is allowed to call
bullshit. (Exception: When trying to pick up a girl, the allowable
exaggeration rate rises to 400 percent.)
Rule #1,073: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
Rule #1,219: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is
off-limits forever, unless you actually marry her.
Rule #1,476: The minimum amount of time you have to wait for another guy who
's running late: five minutes. Maximum waiting time: six minutes. For a
girl, you are required to wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she
scores on the classic 1-10 scale.
Rule #1,699: Bitching about the brand of free beer in a buddy's refrigerator
is forbidden. But gripe at will if the temperature's unsuitable.
Rule #1,862: A friend must be permitted to borrow anything you own-weed
whacker, car, firstborn child-with 12 hours' notice. If he damages the item,
he must repair it within seven days, even if it means selling his plasma.
Exception: If you don't notice the damage at the hand-off, he gets away
scot-free.
Rule #2,284 (The Patton Principle): Falling on a grenade for a buddy (i.e.,
agreeing to distract the skanky friend of the hot babe he's trying to score)
is your legal duty. But should you get carried away with your good deed and
end up bonking the beast, your pal is forbidden to speak of it, even at your
bachelor party.
Rule #2,475: Do not torpedo single friends: If you're married and a pal
drops by with a date, do not, even after your sixth vodka, blurt out, "So,
when are you two gonna walk the plank?" Punishment: Following the assembly
instructions for your rug rats' toys for two years.
Rule #2,500: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not
the weakest.
Rule #2,650 (The Hand-off Catechism): Before dating a buddy's ex, you are
required to ask his permission; and he, in return, is required to grant it.
But he's fully within his rights to say, "Man, are you gonna love the way
she licks your testicles."
Rule #2,738: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as
spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to pick a
Buffalo wing clean.
Rule #2,811: If a man's zipper is down, that's his problem-you didn't see
nothin'.
Rule #2,901: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for
another man. (In fact, even remembering your best buddy's birthday is
strictly optional.)
Rule #3,462: The universal compensation for buddies who help you move is
beer. The reward formula is as follows: (hours of labor) x (number of boxes)
x (flights of stairs) ??dollars, in hundreds, of damage to belongings =
beers owed. Bonus for the friend who owns the truck: first crack at that hot
new neighbor chick.
Rule #3,730: You must offer heartfelt and public condolences over the death
of a girlfriend's cat, even if it was you who secretly set it on fire and
threw it into a ceiling fan.
Rule #4,671: While your girlfriend must bond with your buddies' girlfriends
within 30 minutes of meeting them, you are not required to make nice with
her gal pals' significant dickheads-low-level sports bonding is all the law
requires. (Sorry, ladies: It's called a double standard because it's twice
as true.)
Rule #5,294: Unless you have signed a lucrative endorsement contract, do not
appear in public wearing more than one Nike swoosh.
Rule #5,649: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you
may always ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's
playing.
Rule #5,888 (The Mercy Rule): When your girlfriend/wife expresses a desire
to fix her whiny, loser friend up with your pal, you may give her the
go-ahead only if you'll be able to warn your buddy and give him time to
prepare his excuse about joining the priesthood.
Rule #6,172 (Gas Warfare Act): You may flatulate in front of a woman only
after you've brought her to climax. But if you trap her head under the
covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your
girlfriend.
Rule #6,521: It is permissible to quaff a fruity chick drink only when you'
re sunning on a tropical beach...and it's delivered by a topless
supermodel...and it's free.
Rule #6,876: When in a bar that has a ratio of more than five waiting
customers per bartender, limit orders to beer and straight liquor. (No, your
girlfriend does not need a frozen flying grasshopper with a twist of
grapefruit.)
Rule #7,104: Only in a situation of mortal and/or ass peril are you allowed
to kick another member of the male species in the testicles.
Rule #7,105: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
Rule #7,718 (The Body Heat Rule): A man in the company of a hot,
suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.
Rule #7,847: The third, fourth, and fifth rules of Fight Club: If your buddy
is outnumbered, outmanned, or too drunk to defend himself, you must jump
into the fight. Exception: If during the past 24 hours his actions have
caused you to think What this guy needs is a good ass-whupping, you may
stand back and enjoy.
Rule #8,000: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
Rule #8,174 (The Golden Rule): Move your feet, lose your seat. This rule has
survived many challenges and supersedes all childish "pee breaks are safe"
local ordinances.
Rule #8,416: When picking players for a sports team, it is permissible to
skip over your buddy in favor of better athletes-as long as you don't let
him be the last sorry son of a bitch standing on the sidelines.
Rule #8,421: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be
talking about his choice of beer.
Rule #8,580: Never join your girlfriend or wife in dissing a buddy of yours,
except when she's withholding sex pending your response.
Rule #8,754: Phrases that may not be uttered to another man while lifting weights:
"Yeah, baby, push it!"
"C'mon, give me one more! Harder!"
"Another set and we can hit the showers."
"Nice ass. Are you a Sagittarius?"
Rule #8,812: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of
pizza, but not both. That's just plain mean.
Rule #8,820: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you're on equal
footing: both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other
situations, an almost imperceptible "I recognize you" nod is all the
conversation you need.
Rule #8,911: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on
longer than you're able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone;
hang up if necessary.
Rule #9,048: You cannot rat out a coworker who shows up at work with a
massive hangover. You may, however, hide the aspirin, smear his chair with
Limburger cheese, turn the brightness dial all the way down so he thinks his
monitor's broken, and have him paged over the loudspeaker every seven
minutes.
Rule #9,076: When receiving oral sex while driving, always:
Wear your seat belt.
Close the sunroof.
Smile.
Make extended eye contact with as many women in other cars as possible.
Rule #9,210: If one guy is already singing along with a song on the car
radio, you may not chime in, even if it's the chorus to "Wooly Bully."
Better response: Tell him to shut his pie hole.
Rule #9,374: If you catch your woman screwing your best friend, let your
state's crimes-of-passion laws be your guide.
Rule #9,481: When a buddy is trying to hook up, you may sabotage him only in
a manner that gives you no chance of getting laid, either.
Rule #9,546: Things you can always cheat on: your taxes, the SATs, and your
resum?? Things you can never cheat on: golf, darts, poker.
Rule #9,601: Before allowing a drunken pal to cheat on his girl, you must
attempt one intervention. If he can get on his feet, look you in the eye,
and deliver a "Fuck off!" you are absolved of responsibility. Remember:
Later on you will have no idea what his girlfriend is talking about.
Rule #9,750 (The Skank Rule): You may swear friends to secrecy about a
sexual escapade only if there's a chance the woman in question will become
your girlfriend. If you're imprudent enough to get caught bagging an
undesirable female, then the anecdote will stay in the guy public domain
right through your bachelor party. Don't beg; it's unseemly.
Rule #9,806: The morning after you and a babe who was formerly "just a
friend" have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird
and guilty is no reason not to nail her again before the discussion about
what a big mistake it was.
Rule #9,998: Always split aces and eights. No arguments.