High Tension

[JunkerSeed]

You may have seen some trailers for this French Grindhouse slasher here and there and I was able to catch it at the dollar theater, which is definately the place to see it. If you're looking for something well written and intelligent, well I'm sorry that you may waste your money on this one, but that'll teach you that it's not smart just because it's French. I think this film has one of the worst endings I've seen inr ecent times too. This one is about a thousand times dumber than Saw ever was, but the good news is, it's twice as disgusting!

 

Despite the fact that this movie is dumb as toast, I enjoyed it plenty. It feels like it's straight out of the seventies, sometimes to a fault (I'm getting really tired of movies "homaging" texas chainsaw massacre by taking scenes right out of it). But it does succeed in feeling like a good old fashioned horror movie with lots of scares and MORE than enough gore to satisfy today's starving horror fans. It's remarkably well-shot; very few stupid fancy camera tricks and lots of long shots and moments where we linger on very unpleasent things. Even though most of the big scenes feature our heroine doing the dumbest shit you've ever scene a character do in this kind of movies, the scenes are directed so well that they still get really intense.

 

So, anyways, if you're like me, and you're sick of Japanese remakes that have their balls cut off and insulting PG-13 hugfests, this should tickle your fancy, despite it's shortcomings. Watch it on DVD, with lots of friends and popcorn and booze.

 

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Now... about that ending... What? WHy is this neccesary? A part of me thinks that the only reason it ended that way was to justify why that dumb bitch was able to survive every encounter with the enemy by just picking a different door to hide behind. It also explains why the badguy was so slow and loud and inefficient I guess.

You can't just plant a line of dialogue or two at the begginning that's weird and makes no sense and have it justify a cliche'd pointless ending! Also, thinking about it further, this movie is so 70's that it portrays lesbians as lecherous murderers. That was so commonplace back then that I wonder if that's why they did it. Or maybe they're just bigots...

 

Oh, and where did the fucking truck come from??? Did the Dyke just shit it out? Seriously, the movie wasn't gonna be the class validictorian or anything before I saw the ending, but now it's downright retarded.