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Eternal Usagi-Chan

Omega Beta Phi
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Posts posted by Eternal Usagi-Chan

  1. Subject: The Wal-Mart doctor

     

     

    One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind

    him,

    "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor."

    "Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies.

    "There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a

    urine

    sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do

    about

    it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars...a lot cheaper than

    a

    doctor."

     

    So Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to

    Wal-Mart.

    He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for

    the

    urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten

    seconds

    later,

    the computer ejects a printout: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your

    arm in

    warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks.

    Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart."

     

    That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was,

    Joe

    began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap

    water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and

    daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure. Joe hurries back to

    Wal-Mart, eager to

    check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his

    concoction, and

    awaits the results. The computer prints the following:

     

    1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)

    2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.

    (Aisle 7)

    3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.

    4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.

    5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never

    get better.

    Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart.

  2. Alright- It was Christina Aguilera " Loving me for me", that was kind of hard I guess but whatever....

     

    Replacement Song-

     

    "And I feel that time's a wasted go

    So where you going to tomorrow

    And I see that these are lies to come

    Would you even care

    And I feel it

    And I feel it..."

     

    This one should be easier

  3. sorry for the suspence!!! Next Song...

     

    "People ask If i'm in love with you

    Cause I'm sitting here with your picture, smiling to myself

     

    Careless of my own thoughts of you, My heart speaks before my mind thinks through

    And I Blush as I say yes"

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