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death in the family


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Sad Tidings

 

It is with the saddest heart that we must pass on the following news.

Please join us in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community.

 

The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and

complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.

 

Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin.

Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs.

Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the

Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch.

The gravesite was piled high with flours. Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy

and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was

kneaded.

Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with

turnovers. He was not considered a very 'smart' cookie, wasting much of his

dough on half-baked schemes.

Despite being a little flaky at times, he still, as a crusty old man, was

considered a roll model for millions.

 

Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough; two children, John Dough and

Jane Dough; plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his

elderly father, Pop Tart.

The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes

It was very well done

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