FireDownBelow

I wish Vulcans were real, and more importantly, I wish I could have been one or at least trained to think like one...

Oh miy goodness that is absolutely wonderful!! I'm so using that. Thankies.

Spanking

My kind of spanking!

I dreamt of a megaphone last night and today, thinking of that, somehow my mond strays to Greek mythology. Hee, I am man's punishment but still the herald of his most precious gift. Ah, its good to be a woman some days.

Bingo! Another set of lyrics to add to the ever growin file on ym computer. Thankies.

What'[s the name of this song? I don't remember, but its the Big Bopper.

~

Chantilly lace and a pretty face

Pony tail hangin down

A wiggle when she walk

a giggle when talk

Oh, baby that's a what I like

~

AND alternately

~

Blue moon, you saw me standin alone

Without a dream in my heart

without a love of my own

~

What it is with the oldies today? Too much KLUV.

Frank Sinatra, gorgeous sunset, and a sailboat. That seems vagueley familiar.

Ha! That's pretty funny. I will definitely have to consider that phrase.

Ah, yes, the "Bitch Slapper". This useful tool orignally started out as a paint stick that my husband obtained from Lowe's one day when he was fixing a hole in the wall. During a flash of sudden brilliance, a eureeka moment if you will, I snatched it up and with a sharpie wrote the words 'bitch slapper' on it. My husband finding amusement in it, displayed it prominently in the living room where on occasion one of us might use it to smack the other or perhaps a close friend/relative during bouts of stupidity or just to aggravate. We also found another wonderful use for it. Being the little pain slut that I am, the Bitch Slapper was used to slap me, the resident bitch.

Today we have a different Bitch Slapper. After my husband's grandfather cleaned out his garage we found a larger, thicker paint stick. We dubbed this one the bitch slapper and relegated the puny original to the trash. I'm not a fan of my husbands handwriting on this one but one of these days we'll paint it black and write it nicely in white or maybe red letters with a stencil. It shall be placed in a case which reads 'In Case of Emergency, Break Glass." Currently it is used to annoy company, which sometimes back fires, as as the Halloween party this year trying ot be funny I smacked myself in the forehead with it. On accident, or course. And it is still used to make me scream and moan. I must say, it doesn't carry quite the sting as the smaller one but its got a more satisfying feel.

The Infamous Bitch Slapper

Have you seen Charlie and the Chocolate Factory? Did you like it?

I loved it, thought it was excellent.

 

Would it be allright if Jake and I showed up early for New Years Eve and spent like an hour making snacks and then by the time e were ready to play games we would be full and on our way to getting drunk?

 

If you were a bird for one day, what would you do and why?

 

What condimenst do you love?

Which do you hate?

 

If you were an inanimate object what would you be?

 

If you were a guy for a day, what would you do and why?

 

If you ever made your own product what would it be and what would be your advertising?

 

If you met Angelina Jolie for one time only, would you take the chance and ask her if you could go down on her? or be to shy and just hang out with her?

 

What is one song that would be on every one of your compilation CD's?

I have seen Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I did like it. I also liked the first one. I don't think the two should be compared though. They really are two entirely different movies that just happened to be based on the same thing.

You can show up on New Year's Eve whatever time you want. I'll be home at one in the afternoon so anytime after that is great.

If I were a bird...do I get to be a phoenix? Cause that would rock. I could burn myself up and come back all new born and stuff. Er, I'd also fly around and stuff. Yeah.

I like catchup and ketsup and sometimes mayo. I do not like mustard and am really burnt out on BBQ sauce. I love ranch dressing.

Inanimate object: Hee, a vibrator or a dildo. In a sorority full of horny nublie young ladies.

If I were a guy for a day I would spend half the day jacking off, just to do so. Than I would spend the other half of the day trying to pick up chicks just to see if its really as difficult as fellas make it out to be.

I would make a vibrator. Something small and quiet and enough bang to makea lady cum in ten seconds. I'd be my owen best customer and I would call it, Ladies Companion.

Angelina Jolie? You gotta be kidding. I'd hit that shit quicker...oh, sorry. Yes, I would definitely ask her if I could give her a tongue bath.

Umm...the song would have to be Christian Woman byt Type O Negative. I just can't get enough of that song.

I fear that again, BOB is dead. RIP.

I have to piss but I don't want to get up and I'm hungry. I'm trying to quit smokeing again which means I haven't had a cigarette since yeasterday morning which could be why I'm so damn grouchy today and I hope it passes because its the Christmas seasona nd I want to be nice to everyone. I jope my husbands rememebrs to get all the adresses I asked him for so that I can do the Christmas cards Wed and I also need to check and see if I have any wrapping papre so that I can wrap the presents too because I ant to get everything done before the end of November so that I don't have anything to do come Dec and can just sit back, rleax and enjoy the season. I'm also really horny and hope that I can get some tonight but not if my sinuses are still acting up. Last night I was sitting in the living room and I had little acandle but it smelled awfully like someone 3was burning something else and I went outside and there was the smell of smoke in the air and the miasma hung in the air but I couldn't tell where it was coming from and I was scared because after that fire in the alleway a couple of years agao I am so terrified that the house is going to burn down especially with how dry the summer was. Anyways, I think its kinda funny, that I've just typed all this mess without once stopping. Its kinda like six from blossom who would talk really fast non stop without even taking a breath. That's what this feels like. I bet it has something to do with the three cups of coffee that I have had today. I don't normally drink that much at all. Anyways, I'll stop now. There, ok, right now. Tup, this is the end. Through, fin, finito.

I'm done.

Advent Calendar

I want this so bad I can taste it. I've got ten bucks extra this week but I don't have the money for shipping. That's so pathetic it makes me want to cry. Maybe if I give the old man a BJ and some sweet talk...

A scene from a dream I had last night:

Pretty blond girl, director. Director holds up wanna be sheep suit, says: Wear this. You're ewe number 12. Be nice and remember, you're at the edge of a cliff so push back.

Camera zooms out, shit kicker fellow with straw in his mouth and overalls is rubin his hands together. Blond girl looks disgusted.

I wake up and as I do, I think to myself, I wouldn't be at all surprised to see a porno like that.

=Jibblies

You can register without paying. I've already done so myself.

Nifty yes...but it has the same flaw that LaunchCast does. It doesn't have any info on some of my favorite artists. Damn me and my love for world music.

I snapped at picture of this when I went to the West End in Sept. Just found it and had to share it.

Those are awesome reads.

What are you doing for Christmas?

How's your sister's pregnancy coming along?

Do you like Bram Stokers Dracula?

What's your favorite horror movie?

Romance?

Comedy?

What do you want me to get you for Christmas? cause if I have some money Im getting you something lady.

What are you thinking about right now?

Do you love manatees?

Christmas I am doing nothing really. Chrstimas Eve we go to my uncle's and then Tiff comes by. Christmas Day we stay home and be all family-like.

I guess it's coming along OK. Haven't talked to her. Last I did she still hadn't been to the doctor. She's gonna end up having this baby at home, I bet.

I do like Bram Stoker's Dracula...though not as much now when I was younger. Keanu Reeves just doesn't do it for me any longer.

My favorite horror movie would have to be the Exorcist. Do viedo games count> Cause Fatal Frame freaked my shit.

My favorite romance would have to be Hitch.

Comedy: Monty Python's Search for the Holy Grail, Kung Fu Hustle, or Harold and Kumar, etc, etc.

Get me a picture of them tig ol' bitties. Oh, did I say that out loud? Hee. You don't have to get me a thing. But you can kiss me under the mistletoe. (Yes, I do have some.)

I am thinking that I do not want to go out to dinner with Nick's grandfather, I need to finish a story, and I am very eager to see you later this month.

I do very much love manatees. Barbara Manatee -Manatee- You are the one for me. -One for me-

Yes, I am a David Eddings fan. I like the Belegariad, the Mallorean, Elenium and Tamuli. I didn't like the Althalus book or the Dreamer series. Too much like everything else. I also like Sherri S. Teper and...hmm, Sue Grafton. She writes what I refer to as the Alphabet Mysteries with the recurring character of Kinsey Millhone.

I also like Erma Bombeck and Augusten Burroughs. I read a lot of non fiction books about religion and history. Throw in a major helping of science fiction and fantasy. I like Anne McCaffery. The Rowan books, Crystal Singer series and such. Big fan of Jean Auel and her cave people sex series. Darryl Hannah as Ayla was magic, too bad the movie stunk.

Anyway, a little of this, a little of that. But I never stick to one genre in particular. A book written in a well loved genre does not an automatically good story make.

Have you ever broken a bone?

Do you like swimming?

Did you ever get revenge on anybody?

Were you ever picked on at school?

I have neverb roken a bone thankfully. I'm not dare devil enough. Nor stupid enough.

I like to swim though I can't do anything more than doggie paddle.

I get revenge all the time. When someone pisses me off enough I simply refuse to do them that all important favor they always seem to need until I feel they're desperate enough. I also geta petty thrill over being right.

And yes, I was picked on at school: for wearing hand-me-downs, haveing red hair, being freckled, later on for being chubby.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was going to ask what you wanted for Christmas, but you're a bad girl (hey, you admitted it). You'll probably just get switches and coal. :P

Mmm....hopefully plenty of switches and cat o' nine tails. Okay, since somebody was kind enough to ask, here's my wishlist. Notice its all books? I love the written word!

Amber's Wishlist

I jusr realized I never replaied to this and now I feel like a heel. I'm a bad girl. Ok, furthest I've ever been from home would have to be Oregon. My mother moved us up there for a period of about eight months, when I was 8 or so. Consequrntly we left at the beginning of summer and then came back to Texas late winter.

Anyway, she moved us up there because a man (my biological father, I would find out seven years later) wanted her. Both of them had just gotten back from jail and wanted a fresh start without the stigma of probation hovering over them I suppose and he had family in Oregon.

So that' where we went and why we went.

Now I'm gonna cross my fingers and hope somebody asks me what I want from Santa so that I can share my Amazon wishlist without looking greedy/commerical or as if I'm trying to appear interesting with all the junk that is on it.

Hickory-dickory-dock

I never get good cock

Always soft as tallow

Till I met that rock hard fellow

Plug to a socket

Oh baby, did he shock it.

is better than

Words I like the sound of! (In no partiular order)

Hemoglobin

Wisteria

Worcstershire

Catgut

Gonorhea

Psyche

Fiddlesticks

Flummoxed

Asterik

Minerva

Mundane

Quintessence

Quandry

Bellicose

Esoteric

Houston

Epitome

And my all time fave:

Epiphany

Scariest thing that ever happened to me would have to be the time my sister was picking ticks off this dog that we had and we knew that you had to do something extreme to kill them so she was putting them on this paper towel that she was going to flush down the commode when she was done but I dunno what I ever did to her but she started chasing me around the house with this paper towel. There were all these huge ticks walking around it, leaving trails of blood and she cornered me in the kitchen and stuck it in my face like three inches from my nose. I was blubbering like a little bitch. Scared the willies out of me. I guess that's why I have a tick phobia now.

My favorite dishes to cook..well, I like to bake. So cakes, cupcakes, pies, roasts, anything along those lines. I love to mix stuf together, add a bunch of spices and put it in the overn and see what tasty moist things I get. My specialty would have to be chicken breasts. Nothing fancy, just some spices and throw the chicken in a broiler pan with abkut a half an inch of water, cover it with foil and let it bake for an hour. Sometimes I like to mix it wil some fettucine and some alfredo. Really good.

What isn't great about Texas?? Seriously...I love the state fair. Turkey legs, shows, the car show, salt water taffy. Good times. Then you have the nifty places in Dallas, the art museums here in Fort Worth. The stock yards, the bands, the history, the food. And the absolute joy of being Texan. My pride in my state can't compare to anything else. Plus, the really cool thing about Texas is that its so freaking big every part of it is different. East Texas is swapms and pine forest, North/central Texas is prairie, up in the panhandle you'll find the Rockies. West and South Texas is desert, except the Rio Grand Valley which is green and verdant. Lots of little towns that cling to their identity and history. Its a great place and I love it.