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So Tuesday is "Gigli" day. For anyone that missed it in the cinema (meaning everyone) it's finally being released on DVD. I was lucky enough to get an advance copy of Martin Brest's soon-to-be-classic, and so may I present to you...



Awful stuff or misunderstood masterpiece?


I must admit that I went into this one pretty open minded. Yeah it got trashed by the critics and became the late night joke of the year, but I cast all that aside. It was a movie that everybody said was awful, but nobody actually saw. On the IMDB 5,533 voters gave it the score of 1.3 out of 10. I don't really believe that 5,533 people actually saw the movie. I started to think that they just gave it a low score 'cause Conan was dissing it that night.


So is the movie that had a -81.9% drop in its second week be that bad? Or was it just misunderstood (remember the Wizard of Oz wasn't so hot until it was put on T.V. years after it's release)?


Well folks I hate t'say it but it really is that bad. The plot (which is somewhere in there) is pretty confusing, the acting would make a root canal seem pleasurable (Affleck's accent is allover the place and J'Lo makes the awful dialoge even worse). As hitmen both Affleck and Lopez are less than convincing, putting it lightly and at times you wonder whether certain scenes were supposed to be funny or not.


There's a rake of scenes that seem to be fillers - which is strange, 'cause the movie clocks in at 2 hours. J'Lo waxes intellectual while Aff mugs. J'Lo does yoga while Aff mugs. J'Lo looks indearingly at retarded kid while Aff mugs...well you get the picture.


There's also cameos by Christopher Walken and Al Pacino (who I presume is helping out Brest in a "WHO-HA"). Walken is great. Even he can turn pap into gold, but Pacino just can't do anything. This one can be filed with "And Justice for All".


The DVD itself has nothing at all on it. Well, it has the trailer (which shows alot of Pacino even though he's onscreen for around 3 minutes) and that's it. I was really hoping for deleted scenes or a commentry for yuck value.


Suffice to say this is a must see. I advise everyone to rent it (preferable watching it with your pals over a few drinks) and enjoy all two hours worth, albeit not in the way that director Martin Brest intended.


I really hope that "Gigli" doesn't effect "Jersey Girl" as from what I've seen of it (yeah, only two trailer and a scene) looked great. It'd suck if the movie that is looking more and more like Kevin Smith's "Annie Hall" got fucked over because of the Bennifer box office poison (I bet he wasn't thinking that would be the case when he cast her).

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Wow. So...so does she actually say "Its turkey time"?  Because that's brilliant.  That should be your new member title or somethin.

Yeah she sure does along with "would you like me to suck your cock for eight hours" and other things that'd tittilate thirteen year olds. As for the member title shizzle, I'm gonna stick with the current one being the season and all that, but that's a damn good one.

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