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Too much drama....

Rydia has to deal with growin up all fast & takin a year to cast meteo, Kain isnt sure which side he's on, Cecil's seein a therapist bout the whole "dark knight/paladin" thing, others are dead, the twins are stone, and bam! outta nowhere, in the game's homestrech, the badass appears just to deal with the big guys.  Let the others handle the imps, but when its elementals, moon demon things or fellow teamates apparently fightin for no reason, my money's on Shado...er, Edge, baby.  

His ass'll just disappear, reappear real quick & throw an excalibur blade he duped thru your ass.

"But wait no i was tryin to summon"...DEAD

"But Kain's turn was comin, he was gonna jump and" ..sorry DEAD

no bullshit with Edge.  Just let him lvl up a bit & get those masamune blades.


Amano's original Edge

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yeah you are so right with the excaliber there is no stopping edge but it's not like cecil gonna keep giving him excalibers now is him edge is buried by rydia with a harpoon through the neck dead.

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Oh...you fuckin monkey! Cmon, make Edge the 1st person in your paty, and he can dupe with the best of em.  

But lets say only Cecil can....here's how that conversation'd go.

Edge: "Hey Cecil, could you make a few more Excaliburs for me?"

Cecil "Sure....wait, why?"

Edge: "So i can kill Kain...you know, that guy who kept kickin your ass & runnin of with your chick?"

Cecil: "Wait, was that before or after he jacked the crystal and...ah fuck it, here's a dozen."

Boom baby, excaliburs & an ally. Dead.

Meanwhile, if Rydia's still clingin to life, she's off in a corner wavin  her hadns like crazy, tryin to remember how to call Bahamut in less than 14 rounds.

"What was his # again? Crap..hello? 411?"

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you got it all wrong man here let me tell you how it went down:


an intergalactic cosmic being comes down from a transdimensional tear in the figile fabic of reality and says


      cosmic being: you all must fight to the death for the sake of the universe


      cecil: but why how do we swoosh....


deadly harpoon attack to the head


      edward: fuck this shit am outta here.

he then proceeds to run for miles on end. kain goes on a killing spree while edge tries to rape rydia.


      rosa: why are you doing this kain why are you killing everyone off.


      kain: well rosa i'm glad you asked, you see it's all your fault. you see what happens to a man that doesn't get laid.


cid attacks kain along with palum and porum, but the brats make too much noise and kain easily jumps away from danger and attacks cid from the air. when kain touches down he grabs a hold of any weapon he can and upon grabing the boomeran he realizes he is in fact ambidextrious and he uses both the boomeran and the blood spear.


palum: ho God we're going to die.


porum: quick let's turn into stone and pray that kain deems that unworthy of attacking


palum: you are so right.


palum/porum: stone.


kain adjust in mid air. mean while edge is with rydia and it turns out that rydia is actually raping edge so in all truth they are making love. till edge is stabed in the back with a harpon just as he was about to climax. his corpse falls on rydia with the spear head sticking out of his chest just to finish off rydia. just then kain lands right in front of rosa.


rosa: i'm sorry kain i'm sorry i always loved you the best you were my man.


kain speaking with apathy in his voice then says


kain: i will never forgive you.


rosa they dies of sorrow.


cosmic being: very good kain but what of edward.


kain: it's a long run to the next water hole.

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Guest madman aka glad guy

yeah thats how i hear it too as a matter of fact the way i hear it is that by level 45 not only was edge able to throw smoke around while he waited for the right time to run but also he had surpassed the world record of analy raping men after a fight but oddly enough he was known by his trademark yelling at his moment of climax "oh god yes rydia i wish you were a little girl again" ?!?!?!?!

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Rydia wins this battle hands down.  Edge will keep Kain and the others busy with his stolen Excalibers or Shurikens, as he protects his lovely Rydia.  We all know he loves her, and she is not all that interested.  




She meanwhile will summon her monster friends.  She will distract them with her beauty,




and then BAM!!!!




THEY ARE ALL DEAD!!!!  Even the ever fleeing Edward, because they is no escaping Bahamut.

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I done already said my piece...."...uh, whats bahamuts # again? Hello?"  Mind you, Edge scores alla time, and he knows a prude lil tease when he sees one, so the last thing she sees as she tries to give it up & beg for mercy is...


then its alll


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  • 3 years later...
  • 3 weeks later...

Let me give this a try


1. Edge is a ninja, so he'll slip in their rooms at night while they sleep and kill them all.


2. Tella would stand outside of town and drop fireballs on everybody killing them all.


3. Cid would hop on his airship and carpet bomb their ass.


4. Kain can't touch you as long your under a roof.


5. Edward would drug everybodys food, kills them all while eating lunch.


6. Rydia would stand outside of town or hide somewhere and call her friend to either blow them up,burn them, or eat them alive.


7. Everybody else is just an easy target.

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“Kain can't touch you as long your under a roof”.


“If you ever wanna beat him, take him on in an elevator”.


Yep, that Kain, what a pussy. You guys sure sound tuff now but where was your backbone when Kain swooped in and took your treasure time and time again. Who took the beating when Kain took your woman, Rosa. Don’t forget Kain can shove a spear up where the sun doesn’t shine a lot easier on foot just because he is just that much closer.

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Kain and Cecil are fighting to the death, and just when Kain is about to kill Cecil Rosa shows up and heals him in time. Cecil gets up to his feet and starts to fight Kain all out to prove to Rose he's a man. Kain bitch slaps him over and over, and just she keeps healing him over n over, but after healing him like a hundred times she said fuck it no more healing. Cecil hearing this starts to cry to rosa just then Kain beats the shit out of him. Kain now ready to kill Cecil once and for all and take Rosa for himself stands over Cecil body with spear in hand and when he's ready to gut him rosa calls Kain out. Kain looks at Rosa and he can't belive what he's see. Rosa is standing there naked she looks at Kain and says "take me in front of Cecil I want him to know he wasn't man enough for me before he dies" Kain drops the spear and starts to walk over to Rosa when it happens. He's been stab from behind. Kain turns around and sees Cecil standing there. Kain ask Cecil how can he be standing after a beating. Cecil looks at Kain and says " with my fighting skills I carry lots of potions bitch" then looks at Rosa and says " thanks hon I knew you'll come to help me kill this bitch. Cecil turns around and looks at kain and says " this is for stealing my bitch" stabs Kain with his own spear. Walks away with Rosa to get some booty.


Cecil-1 Kain-0

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True Rydia can cast Meteo and Summon Bahamut, they take 2-3 turns each, but Edge can throw his Spoon Daggers, Excaliburs, etc each turn and do massive damage! SO yeah by the time Rydia does her 9999 damage, Edge has done nearly 20,000-30,000 damage by the same time! At this rate, Edge could easily knock off anyone, so he'll be the winner if you ask me.edge.gif

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