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Jpete and da Julk do moovis


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dat right ninjas, tyme 4 sum rele muthafukn talk bowt moovis up in dis bytch. da furst moovi im revuing is colld da imajunereeuhm uf dr pornasses. dis wuz da joakrs last moovi and i half 2 say dat i dint evn finsh it. it had sumthin 2 do wit dis old guy dat mayd a deel wit da devyl. dat shit wuz very wack. dats not how shyt roles in dis juggalos hed. as soon az dat happind i took dat shyt owt an rentid a diffrint moovi. Da moovi i rentid wuz pyritts 2: skgnettees ruvinge. and da first thing i got to say is TITTYS! dis moovi wuz way betta den dat otha 1. not onlee were der lots uf big TITTYS, der wuz evrythin frum soard fites to ossum cumpweter uffex. dis shit wuz relee tite lyke yo ma's poossay. OH SHYT!

 

wel homies dat wuz my furst in minny revues to cum. I luk 4word to c wut my ninja da Julk haz 2 say bowt hiz fayvorite filmz az wel. stay toond ninjas. WOOP WOOP!

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dat right ninjas, tyme 4 sum rele muthafukn talk bowt moovis up in dis bytch. da furst moovi im revuing is colld da imajunereeuhm uf dr pornasses. dis wuz da joakrs last moovi and i half 2 say dat i dint evn finsh it. it had sumthin 2 do wit dis old guy dat mayd a deel wit da devyl. dat shit wuz very wack. dats not how shyt roles in dis juggalos hed. as soon az dat happind i took dat shyt owt an rentid a diffrint moovi. Da moovi i rentid wuz pyritts 2: skgnettees ruvinge. and da first thing i got to say is TITTYS! dis moovi wuz way betta den dat otha 1. not onlee were der lots uf big TITTYS, der wuz evrythin frum soard fites to ossum cumpweter uffex. dis shit wuz relee tite lyke yo ma's poossay. OH SHYT!

 

wel homies dat wuz my furst in minny revues to cum. I luk 4word to c wut my ninja da Julk haz 2 say bowt hiz fayvorite filmz az wel. stay toond ninjas. WOOP WOOP!

 

 

That movie review kicked ass! I laughed even through the pain of my broken sternum.

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Da moovi i rentid wuz pyritts 2: skgnettees ruvinge. and da first thing i got to say is TITTYS! dis moovi wuz way betta den dat otha 1. not onlee were der lots uf big TITTYS, der wuz evrythin frum soard fites to ossum cumpweter uffex. dis shit wuz relee tite lyke yo ma's poossay. OH SHYT!

 

pirates2_poster.jpg

 

That does sound pretty awesome.

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HAHA! PETE VERY BAD AT WORDS. JULK IS THE STRONGEST SPELLER MAKER THERE IS! JULK RENT ONE FLU OVER COOCKOOS NEST BECAUSE IT HAVE JOKER IN IT. FIND IT SHALLOW AND PEDANTIC. VERY PRETENDSHUS. SO JULK SAY BAH AND SMASH IT. SMASHSMASHSMASH! THEN JULK WATCH SI.C.K. IT STAND FOR SEREAL INSANE CILLER KLOWN! VERY UPLIFTING TALE OF CLOWN TRYING TO HATCHET HATERS. MANY CHIKKINZ GET THE HATCHET BUT CLOW DIES. JULK POORED SUM OF HIS FAYGO ON THE GROUND FOR ALL THE STRATE NINJAS THAT ARE NOT AROUND TO DRINK FAYGO WITH JULK. JULK SMASH SICK ALSO BUT IT WAS SMASH OF JOY.

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pirates2_poster.jpg

 

That does sound pretty awesome.

Is that a Mayan pyramid shooting a laser beam into the sky/ asian woman's vagina on the left? Alien pirate porno? :eh: I think Juggalo is on to something here. This could be the greatest movie, possibly, ever made...

Edited by Mr. Hakujin
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Yeah, that movie is supposed to be ridiculous. CGI skeletons, massive action fight scenes, big production, epic score, all that peppered with porn scene throughout. It had like 8 million dollar budget or something ridiculous like that. It has so many non-porn scenes, they even released an R-rated porn-free edition.

 

Great reviews, by the way.

Edited by Reverend Jax
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JULK WATCH SPEED RACER

MESS OF COLOR. FILM WITH NOTHING IN IT - NO HART NO SOUL NO SINNIMA. FILM THAT REALLY SHOULD NOT APEAL TO TRUE ANIME FANS AS IT FUNDAMENTALLY AND OBNOCKSHUSLY MISUNDERSTANDS THE GENRE. HARD TO FOLLOW. BASIC RULES OF WHAT EYE CAN FOLLOW ON SCREEN ARE FORGOTTIN. HEADACHE INDOOSING AND POINTLESS. INCOMPETENT. WILL INFURUATE ADULTS AND THE PASHENTSE OF CHILDREN WILL BE TESTED THROU THE POINTLESS AND OVERCOMPLICATED LECKSHURES ABOUT STOCK-PRICES AND ECONOMIC FORCES. TALANTED CAST WASTED.

HARHAR! JULK STEEL THAT FROM SUM GUYS BLOG. TRICKED YOU! ULK ALSO HAVE MISCARRIDGE AND BLOOD CANCER. JULK DID NOT WATCH SPEED RACER BECAUS JULK SMASH IT!! SMASHSMASHSMAAAASH!

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otay, I juz saw dat moovi diztrick 9. wack az hell. rel hewmins need 2 watch out. they all tryin 2 put dem in concentraion camps like hollacost. speekin of dat i need 2 spred da werd on da juggalo hollacost. da juggalo hollacost haz sparkd much intrist in da Juggalo/Juggalette familee. So far 20 to 25 juggalos have been shot and killt and 6 juggalettes have been raped. Roomer haz it that dis Juggalo Holocaust startid in beerfest 04. da attakers r sed to where the inishals ‘JH’ on der shoes shirts and sum even had bandannuhs. Any juggalo or juggalette that spots someone with these inishals need to stay in larje groops and in very lit aireuhs. Be awhere of evry1 and stay down wit da klown. Dont let deez ideeits stop us.

Down wit da Klown Til Im Ded In da Grownd!

NO Juggalo Hollacost can stop us.

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  • 11 months later...

itz bin 2 lawng ninjaz. dat ryte. pete iz bak an am teellin yu fooz wut 2 wath. kay da moovi i watchd dis passd weekin wuz iurn man. i dont eevin no wut dat shyt wuz. juz anudda moovi bowt sum dood dat gawt kidnapt an had 2 bild a robott 2 git owt of da cave. SENE IT B4!.

 

numbre 2. diz iz 1 yu peepz gawt 2 wotch. transmorfers 2 da fol uf man. mikhael baye gon an dunn it agin wit dis mastrpees. da spshul uffex wer abowt a billyn tymes betta den da furst won. da traylor for part 3 juz cayme owt to. dis tyme... aw yea in treeD bytchas HAHAHA. but ya da thang dat wuz even betta in dis den da efex wuz da storie. juz lyke my dik it wuz deep az hel sun. c diz moov.

 

datz ryyte bitch, i got a thurd moovi cummen at yea. il kepe it short tho. pirates of duh crabian 4. diz wuz a big disapoint az der wer no tittys. i thot at sum partz dat it woold cum klose but not evin. way diffrint den da last won.

 

dos r my revues ninjs. hav a nyce nyte an stay juggalicious.

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  • 8 months later...

uh nu yeer bytchez an dat meenz nu moovi ruvues frumm urz trooli. Eye'v had a bizzy azz tyme watchin nu shyt sew letz git 2 duh gritty niggy.

 

furzt! duh nu x-man moov furst claz. whut duh fuk iz diz ninjuhs? mayb sumbuddy can explayn diz cuz 1. X man. WHER DUH TITTYS!? 2. y did dey hav dat puzzy play magnetid? dey replaycd dat reel puzzy pymp gandylfor 4 dat lyttle pus. whut evver ninjuhs.

 

 

part 2; Gacy. diz wus duh orignizle jugalo bytchez. he dydn't cair hooo he khilld. mah idle

 

duh fynle movv i wathked wuz duh tittyfezt suckpunch. wel it wuz alos a tittyfezt. at leest it had sum nijuh azz fytes in dat mutha fukka. stil neded mo tittys.

 

peez bytches and stay juggastrordinary.

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  • 7 months later...

okai bytch azzes i kno it ben a gud wyle but i wachd sum moar moovies at my house nut.

 

marvles DuhVengurs. main diz moov wuz duh shit hoal. eye didint get 2 farr doe cuz i juz kep rewounding when dat spyder bytch wuz bownbownbowncin! Alblblblblblblblblb!! eye giv diz a A mine us.

 

expindiblez too- fuhkin crayzy az shshyt thiz moovi. arnuld swortsanigger iz a byg pimp awwww shyt! mayd me inspyrd to git back int2 traynin fo duh juggalo navy.

 

 

and dat iz it ninjuhs! keep diz shyt reel clazzy and stay juggatastic.

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