soldier of fortune Posted February 14, 2003 Share Posted February 14, 2003 EMOTIONAL V FINANCIAL NEEDS > > I never have quite figured out why the sexual urges of men & women differ > so > much. And I never have figured out the whole Mars & Venus thing. > > And, I never have figured out why men think with their head and women with > their heart. And, I never yet have figured out how the sexual desire gene > gets thrown into a state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do". > > One evening last week, my wife and I got into bed. Well, the passion > starts > to heat up, and she eventually says, I don't feel like it, I just want you > to hold me. > > I said, WHAT?? So she says the words that I and every husband on the > planet > dreads. She explains that I'm obviously not in tune with her emotional > needs > as a Woman. I'm thinking, What was her first clue? I finally realize that > nothing is going to happen that night, so I go to sleep. > > The very next day we went shopping at a big department store...I walked > around while she tried on three very expensive outfits. She couldn't > decide > which one to take, so I told her to take all three of them. > > She then tells me that she wants matching shoes worth $200 each to which I > say OK. And then we go to the Jewelry Dept. where she gets a set of > diamond > earrings. Let me tell you ..she was so excited. > > She must have thought that I was one wave short of a shipwreck, but I > don't > think she cared. I think she was testing me when she asked for a tennis > bracelet because she doesn't even play tennis. I think I threw her for a > loop when I told her that it was OK. > > She was almost sexually excited from all of this and you should have seen > her face when she said, I'm ready to go, let's go to the cash register I > could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, No, honey. I don't feel > like > buying all this stuff now. You should have seen her face > > it went completely blank. I then said, Really honey! I just wanted you to > HOLD this stuff for a while. > > And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, > You > obviously are not in tune with my financial needs as a Man. > > > > I figure that I should be having s*x again sometime during the spring of > 2005. > > > > > > > > > > > > PS What were the last words spoken on the space shuttle? > > > > "If she wants to drive let her drive." > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spongebob Posted February 14, 2003 Share Posted February 14, 2003 I am not married but one thing I do know is that you are a dumbass. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soldier of fortune Posted February 15, 2003 Author Share Posted February 15, 2003 Spongebob, you are some little punk ass fucking kid, is it not fucking blatently obvious that its cut and paste from a fucking e-mail!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spongebob Posted February 15, 2003 Share Posted February 15, 2003 Not really but thank tho. OOps sorry I called you a dumbass. Thought you were typing weird. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The NZA Posted February 15, 2003 Share Posted February 15, 2003 Haha...that mail was funny shit Wayne, nice one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soldier of fortune Posted February 15, 2003 Author Share Posted February 15, 2003 Would it be worth trying though, thats the question? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The NZA Posted February 15, 2003 Share Posted February 15, 2003 Hah - like the message says, its worth it if youre not needin sex anytime soon! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spongebob Posted February 15, 2003 Share Posted February 15, 2003 So no... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
defgoddess Posted February 16, 2003 Share Posted February 16, 2003 ahhh jeez... i've read that one before... if any of yous have chicks like that, i am sorry... matching shoes?! $200 each?! lol... it's actually pretty clever way of calling em on stuff... but i guess it's ok for women to withhold sex but not men to withhold money? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spongebob Posted February 16, 2003 Share Posted February 16, 2003 sorry but you gotta give a little to get a little Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soldier of fortune Posted February 18, 2003 Author Share Posted February 18, 2003 There's giving a little, then there's bending over for your credit card lender to fuck you up the ass with mad interest and charges!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freebird Posted February 19, 2003 Share Posted February 19, 2003 it's great to be a girl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soldier of fortune Posted February 21, 2003 Author Share Posted February 21, 2003 Equality of the sexes my bollacks! You woman (IN GENERAL) still expect us fellas to pay for everything, its a pain in the ass!! We ain't made of money Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freebird Posted February 22, 2003 Share Posted February 22, 2003 well it's not like we dont' feel guilty when a guy takes over and pays for EVERYTHING. but it's just nice once in a while to have the chick pay for something. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spongebob Posted February 22, 2003 Share Posted February 22, 2003 well it's not like we dont' feel guilty when a guy takes over and pays for EVERYTHING. but it's just nice once in a while to have the chick pay for something. Once and a whule.. once and a while... so we pay what 90% and u cover the other 10? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soldier of fortune Posted February 22, 2003 Author Share Posted February 22, 2003 Hmmmm yeah you feel guilty alright, i think spongebob has hit the nail on the head there!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobitussinEF Posted February 22, 2003 Share Posted February 22, 2003 If a girl is givin you sex only because you buy her stuff that is prostitution. :plain: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The NZA Posted February 22, 2003 Share Posted February 22, 2003 "prolly doin ho stuff, cause there you ho again..." haha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobitussinEF Posted February 22, 2003 Share Posted February 22, 2003 Why do you think you think a hoe to a hotel? Hoe tell everybody even the maya.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The NZA Posted February 22, 2003 Share Posted February 22, 2003 "reach up in the sky for the ho-zone layer! Cmon, playa once a ho, always..." haha lookit robittususm warmin up for the lyricist lounge.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spongebob Posted February 23, 2003 Share Posted February 23, 2003 If a girl is givin you sex only because you buy her stuff that is prostitution. :plain: So... we dont have to pay for everything...??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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