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soldier of fortune
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EMOTIONAL V FINANCIAL NEEDS

>

> I never have quite figured out why the sexual urges of men & women differ

> so

> much. And I never have figured out the whole Mars & Venus thing.

>

> And, I never have figured out why men think with their head and women with

> their heart. And, I never yet have figured out how the sexual desire gene

> gets thrown into a state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do".

>

> One evening last week, my wife and I got into bed. Well, the passion

> starts

> to heat up, and she eventually says, I don't feel like it, I just want you

> to hold me.

>

> I said, WHAT?? So she says the words that I and every husband on the

> planet

> dreads. She explains that I'm obviously not in tune with her emotional

> needs

> as a Woman. I'm thinking, What was her first clue? I finally realize that

> nothing is going to happen that night, so I go to sleep.

>

> The very next day we went shopping at a big department store...I walked

> around while she tried on three very expensive outfits. She couldn't

> decide

> which one to take, so I told her to take all three of them.

>

> She then tells me that she wants matching shoes worth $200 each to which I

> say OK. And then we go to the Jewelry Dept. where she gets a set of

> diamond

> earrings. Let me tell you ..she was so excited.

>

> She must have thought that I was one wave short of a shipwreck, but I

> don't

> think she cared. I think she was testing me when she asked for a tennis

> bracelet because she doesn't even play tennis. I think I threw her for a

> loop when I told her that it was OK.

>

> She was almost sexually excited from all of this and you should have seen

> her face when she said, I'm ready to go, let's go to the cash register I

> could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, No, honey. I don't feel

> like

> buying all this stuff now. You should have seen her face

>

> it went completely blank. I then said, Really honey! I just wanted you to

> HOLD this stuff for a while.

>

> And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added,

> You

> obviously are not in tune with my financial needs as a Man.

>

>

>

> I figure that I should be having s*x again sometime during the spring of

> 2005.

>

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>

>

> PS What were the last words spoken on the space shuttle?

>

>

>

> "If she wants to drive let her drive."

>

>

>

>

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