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Dante V.S. Cloud V.S. Kratos


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Dante V.S. Cloud V.S. Kratos  

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Nice!! Can't believe I forgot my boy! Added!

 

Pfft. Kratos is a bigger emo chick than Cloud. "Oh boo hoo,

I killed my own family and the only god that supported me

, how 'bout I rage against the powers that be until it somehow gets better." Toolerriffic. You know what Dante did against the jackasses who killed his mom and dad? KICKED THEIR FUCKING ASSES UNTIL THEY DIED. Cloud? Pussied up and got some friends together to do the same.

 

Dante, all the way.

Edited by Maldron
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Pfft. Kratos is a bigger emo chick than Cloud. "Oh boo hoo,

I killed my own family and the only god that supported me

, how 'bout I rage against the powers that be until it somehow gets better." Toolerriffic. You know what Dante did against the jackasses who killed his mom and dad? KICKED THEIR FUCKING ASSES UNTIL THEY DIED. Cloud? Pussied up and got some friends together to do the same.

 

Dante, all the way.

 

Yeah but Kratos has never played second fiddle to a much wussier version of himself who has a sword with an engine nor relinquished play to his girlfriend. :sad: Plus he manages to be shirtless and wearing a skirt and not look like a metrosexual. Plus he's killed like 3 gods now.

 

Dante can blow my dog.

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Yeah but Kratos has never played second fiddle to a much wussier version of himself who has a sword with an engine nor relinquished play to his girlfriend. :sad: Plus he manages to be shirtless and wearing a skirt and not look like a metrosexual. Plus he's killed like 3 gods now.

 

Dante can blow my dog.

 

Dante's killed at least as many in Mundus, Argosax, and The Savior. And he didn't have to go into a giant form to kill any of the big ones, he just tore into them with righteous ass-kickery. And it's easy to play second fiddle when you're just too awesome to even be bothered.

 

((And at least from a story standpoint, Trish and Lucia were never his girlfriends.))

 

Not look like a metrosexual? Fair enough. Kratos just looks fucking COLD. Lookit dem nipples. LOOKIT DEM. Heck, the man doesn't even bathe, he's been wearing that ash for years now. It's one thing to claim to be manly, it's another to be too busy being a halfwit to even try.

 

Kratos has died and been sent to hell TWICE, and both times it was through the power of others that he was brought back. You really want to claim that he's more likely to win than a guy who can get impaled in a cutscene and live to tell the tale?

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Dante's killed at least as many in Mundus, Argosax, and The Savior. And he didn't have to go into a giant form to kill any of the big ones, he just tore into them with righteous ass-kickery. And it's easy to play second fiddle when you're just too awesome to even be bothered.

 

((And at least from a story standpoint, Trish and Lucia were never his girlfriends.))

 

Not look like a metrosexual? Fair enough. Kratos just looks fucking COLD. Lookit dem nipples. LOOKIT DEM. Heck, the man doesn't even bathe, he's been wearing that ash for years now. It's one thing to claim to be manly, it's another to be too busy being a halfwit to even try.

 

Kratos has died and been sent to hell TWICE, and both times it was through the power of others that he was brought back. You really want to claim that he's more likely to win than a guy who can get impaled in a cutscene and live to tell the tale?

 

The thing that you're ignoring is that Kratos is a human being, not some overpowered demon with styled white hair or a genetically engineered soldier. He's just a guy with two wicked fucking daggers chained to his wrist and he still escaped hell on his own he just physically left without help.

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The thing that you're ignoring is that Kratos is a human being, not some overpowered demon with styled white hair or a genetically engineered soldier. He's just a guy with two wicked fucking daggers chained to his wrist and he still escaped hell on his own he just physically left without help.

 

No he isn't,

he's the son of Zeus

, you unbelievable halfwit. Or do you not even pay attention to the story in those games? Half god.

 

And no, he didn't escape hell on his own. He fought his way through hell until he reached a rope set down for him to escape by the god disguised as the gravedigger, and the second time he got out by manipulating the loom of fate, an object of power that isn't innately his own strength.

Edited by Maldron
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No he isn't,

he's the son of Zeus

, you unbelievable halfwit. Or do you not even pay attention to the story in those games? Half god.

 

And no, he didn't escape hell on his own. He fought his way through hell until he reached a rope set down for him to escape by the god disguised as the gravedigger, and the second time he got out by manipulating the loom of fate, an object of power that isn't innately his own strength.

 

Have you read Greek Mythology, everyone and their fucking dog is the son of Zeus. Perseus was the son of Zeus, Hercules was the son of Zeus, there weren't a lot of Greek women who he didn't fuck. He still fought his way through hell as well.

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Have you read Greek Mythology, everyone and their fucking dog is the son of Zeus. Perseus was the son of Zeus, Hercules was the son of Zeus, there weren't a lot of Greek women who he didn't fuck. He still fought his way through hell as well.

 

Yes, but he did not ESCAPE hell without outside help, which would be my point. And just because everybody was the son of Zeus doesn't make him any less half a god.

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Yes, but he did not ESCAPE hell without outside help, which would be my point. And just because everybody was the son of Zeus doesn't make him any less half a god.

 

Half God or no, he didn't have any special God powers that weren't given to him by outside sources. He was still mortal. And how many threesomes with slutty Greek women did Dante have? Exactly. Besides the end of God of War 2 was just a writing circle jerk for David Jaffe, it was also a dumb retcon. God of War 1 Kratos was human, they just changed their minds later.

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Half God or no, he didn't have any special God powers that weren't given to him by outside sources. He was still mortal. And how many threesomes with slutty Greek women did Dante have? Exactly. Besides the end of God of War 2 was just a writing circle jerk for David Jaffe, it was also a dumb retcon. God of War 1 Kratos was human, they just changed their minds later.
Oh? Then explain the bonus video you get for beating the first game on Spartan Mode, LORD BAYTOR! With Portuguese Subtitles Edited by Maldron
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yeah well.... Superman could totally kick Goku's ass. Also you're gay!

 

I'm only gay for the flaky goodness and deliciousness found in every bite of Hostess Fruit Pies, sir.

 

And this one guy I know. But just the one. I may be gay, but I'm hardly promiscuous! :sad:

 

Don't disagree with that bit. Watching Supes tear through Darkseid at the end of Justice League Unlimited was just something amazing. Never felt anything like that watching DBZ.

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But in the end I've weighed the odds, and I think we can all agree Cloud will get his pansy ass handed to him, and between multiple kick flips with a sword and gun vs. a guy who rips the wings off harpies. I'll take Harpy ripping anyday, if for no reason other than vindication for Devil May Cry 2 and because I hate Nero.

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But in the end I've weighed the odds, and I think we can all agree Cloud will get his pansy ass handed to him, and between multiple kick flips with a sword and gun vs. a guy who rips the wings off harpies. I'll take Harpy ripping anyday, if for no reason other than vindication for Devil May Cry 2 and because I hate Nero.

 

Devil May Cry 2 I can get, but the Nero thing is like me hating Zack because of Cloud. Well honestly, I haven't played any of VII's incarnations, but I believe it fits.

 

I didn't hate Nero that much. MAX-ACTing takes a decent degree of skill. And when you do get to play Dante ((with Gilgamesh especially)) he absolutely rapes the competition.

 

But yeah. Cloud sucks.

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Final Fantasy 7 bashing will get you nowhere, it is protected only by my incredibly dislike of 8 and absolute burning hatred of Final Fantasy 5. And I guess my overall indifference to the Japanese Final Fantasy 2 and 3.

 

Well to put it as Yahtzee did "If you have trouble telling them apart, remember that Nero is a pussy, whereas Dante is more of a cunt"

Edited by Iambaytor
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Final Fantasy 7 bashing will get you nowhere, it is protected only by my incredibly dislike of 8 and absolute burning hatred of Final Fantasy 5. And I guess my overall indifference to the Japanese Final Fantasy 2 and 3.

 

Well to put it as Yahtzee did "If you have trouble telling them apart, remember that Nero is a pussy, whereas Dante is more of a cunt"

 

I have no trouble telling them apart whatsoever. It's your business if you can't, though I'd find it difficult to believe.

 

I never played VII because, quite frankly, I was promised a remake with prettier graphics on the PS2 at some point. And now, I've been promised one on the PS3 by the rumormongers. I just didn't see the point in picking up such an old game so long after the fact when there were still new and exciting options to pick up. Still, what I hear bores me.

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I have no trouble telling them apart whatsoever. It's your business if you can't, though I'd find it difficult to believe.

 

I never played VII because, quite frankly, I was promised a remake with prettier graphics on the PS2 at some point. And now, I've been promised one on the PS3 by the rumormongers. I just didn't see the point in picking up such an old game so long after the fact when there were still new and exciting options to pick up. Still, what I hear bores me.

 

 

It's the point of view like that, that is killing the gaming industry. To hell with prettier graphics, how on earth does that make gameplay any better?. If you haven't played the original it is your loss. To be honest there is very little on the market currently that comes even close to a "new and exciting option".

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It's the point of view like that, that is killing the gaming industry. To hell with prettier graphics, how on earth does that make gameplay any better?. If you haven't played the original it is your loss. To be honest there is very little on the market currently that comes even close to a "new and exciting option".

 

See, I think it's point of views like THAT that are ruining the industry. To say that there aren't any new and exciting options for games completely skips over the large number of offerings that ARE uniquely fun gaming experiences. I'm not saying I didn't pick up VII because of the graphics, I'm saying I didn't pick it up because the way I heard the game was played ((namely materia)) sounded ten thousand shades of boring to me. I shouldn't pick it up because of how everybody raved about the story, which when explained also sounded a bit tired.

 

It doesn't make gameplay any easier, it makes tired and boring gameplay a less difficult pill to swallow. Spoonfuls of sugar, and all that. And again, at the time, there were better, new games coming out that were more interesting to play. I get irritated by everybody who comes to me and tells me that VII is clearly the best all-around RPG of all time, praising Sephiroth while forgetting Kefka, praising the gameplay when so many games played like it prior to that point and so many others played the same way after it. Is it any wonder that the games industry is starting to feel stagnant when there are people around so keen for the offerings of yesteryear that it isn't a wise business decision to try to do something new?

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