Script that I have been writing for a comic

[Osidius the Emphatic]

I have been writing a comic which right now is Untitled and I wanted to maybe get a bigger pool of opinions for constructive criticism. Right now I'll say one of my weak points are naming characters and there might be too much narration but I just wanted to see what others thought. Mind you this is not the best version of my script so there is some grammer mistakes.

Issue1.rtf

[Thelogan]

Who the hell is this person and why is he taking up our precious internet real estate with uploaded word files?

 

Well, since this has languished for 4 years without a response, allow me to chime in.

 

This isn't a comic, or even the script to a comic. This is a short story with strong first person narration. You can't just write something and say "I want this to be this specific type of artform now". There's clearly been little thought put into HOW exactly this would be adapted to a graphic form, or WHY that's the best format for for it. Other than it takes place largely in a comic book store.

 

You have to marry words with pictures to make a comic book. They support each other, each one says something the other can't. In a good comic, these things do not exist independently. They rely on each other in a way that the sum is greater than the two parts. So a script should feel incomplete without the complimentary picture, so you must describe them.

 

This "comic" would have panels full of pure narration. That only works if you're a total badass of the form.

 

So constructive criticism: re-tool it. Think of each panel as you write it, what it would look like, what the characters are doing and how much text you could comfortably fit into it. Give a description of that panel. Keep in mind that time flows between panels, and the amount of panels and layout is going to set the pace of your story.

You'll find you need to trim a good bit, as it simply won't work like this. But try to think of ways you can say what you want to say with a picture instead of just with the crude, blunt instrument of language.

[Keth]

Yeah that needs like... stage directions or something right? Like a movie script I imagine. Comics are just really nicely done storyboarded movies.

[Panch]

Episodes.

[Maldron]

Matt LeBlanc is surprisingly cool.

[IceManML]

4 years wow...

 

There should be a spring cleaning.

 

But not like gestroying threads, but like a ressurection. We need a Hondos admin to be a thread necro.

 

I can take a look at your work tonite while im bored in cless my damie.