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The NZA

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so several of us - myself, bishop, newt, never-gonna-fucking-post-bdfan, etc - have lamented the current state of game reviewing. it was a dream job for me as a kid, so its bad enough living in a world where every asshole with a blog/forum (heh) does so, and the only ones that get big either work for major sites or have a shtick (im looking at yahtzee here). but the real problem is the aggregate review sites - metacritic & such - have been said to affect how games are developed, to an extent...meaning, trends in review scores might play a factor in tacked-on multiplayer & the like.

 

this is problematic enough when you realize there's no real barometer for what a 1-10 consists of. many sites uses letters to try to get around this, and aggregate score sites just arbitrarily convert these to #'s to fit their scheme. for years, its been known that magazines like Famitsu give "honorific" scores to established series, making the number they give completely useless. in recent times, ive found sites like IGN arent allowed to get early access copies of AAA-budget games if they give less than a 8-9 on their review. you can see where this leads to bullshit.

 

some've said this has been a problem in theatre/movies and such fora while now, but its rare we see low scores on big-budget games (which partially speaks to the quality we've had this gen, thankfully) but it leaves a 7-10 scale, realistically. when you get clowns like Destructoid trying to parody this by giving a 10 to Deadly Premonition (well, at least it might give the game a boost?), the entire thing looks broken.

 

so i figured, we could talk about that, and highlight some of the worse reviews we've come across as well. i'll go first.

 

2d7sz7.jpg

 

"Sonic the Hedgehog literally has everything: platforming - some of it amid situations you simply will not believe - high speed chases, close quarters combat, multiple vehicles, flying, speed zones, character customization, real lite cinemas (skillfully acted - this is Sega's best localization to date), beautiful CG, telekinesis, RPG elements, open-world exploration, rail-grinding, rampant diversity, epic bosses, a fantastic soundtrack, a beautiful princess to save - you actually spend a level carrying her - and next-gen visuals that make you happy to be alive. You simply can't ask for more out of an action game. Mission accomplished. Sonic is born anew"

 

Dave Halverson

Play Magazine, 9.5/10 (Sonic 2006)

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im assuming its this one, whose respective site is down at the moment, but the bit on metacritic says it all:

 

95 Play Magazine

 

The gameplay is sheer perfection, the score is superb and the detail for a game this size is plain crazy.

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dude as soon as i saw this thread go up, that BC review was the first thing that popped into my head. Here it is in all of its cocksucking glory. It is ridiculous to love one game so much. AAAANNNNNDDD this came out the same month as Infamous, which isnt the best thing ever either, but is still a damn fine video game.

 

as for an actual opinion on reviews and such, I just try and take it with a grain of salt. I think they have more merit than, say, movie reviews, only because a game that is bad can be very noticeably bad. But things like Lair which alot of folks didnt like, I had a blast with, and others like the new Prince of Persia that critics fell in love with I couldnt enjoy because of the ridiculous level of challenge, which there was none of. in the end i try to rent first, and buy later.

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dude as soon as i saw this thread go up, that BC review was the first thing that popped into my head. Here it is in all of its cocksucking glory. It is ridiculous to love one game so much. AAAANNNNNDDD this came out the same month as Infamous, which isnt the best thing ever either, but is still a damn fine video game.

 

as for an actual opinion on reviews and such, I just try and take it with a grain of salt. I think they have more merit than, say, movie reviews, only because a game that is bad can be very noticeably bad. But things like Lair which alot of folks didnt like, I had a blast with, and others like the new Prince of Persia that critics fell in love with I couldnt enjoy because of the ridiculous level of challenge, which there was none of. in the end i try to rent first, and buy later.

 

^This.

 

I haven't touched a game review in almost six years and that BC review is an excellent example of why I do not. I know what I like and if I have doubts, I rent it. Only a handful of games I buy blindly simply because I'm a fan.

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holy shit, im oddly compelled to play Bionic Commando now.

 

It wasn't that bad. If the entire game was like the first fight against the BURAQ helicopter, the game would've been fucking impressive. I loved that fight, it remains one of my favorite encounters in the current generation of games. The fact that the rest of the game is repetitive gun-based garbage doesn't help it though.

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  • 1 year later...

Found this gem on Kotaku:

 

 

Joel Johnson, Infamous non-player who remembers Sucker Punch's "thieving raccoon" games fondly: Not only have I not played Infamous: Festival of Blood, I've never played the previous Infamous games at all. In fact, the sum total of my knowledge of the series was a ten minute session of sitting next to Totilo while he showed me some of the scenes from its city-that-is-but-isn't-New Orleans.

 

That was when I sort of got it. I'm not Mr. Sandbox, but when a developer does a sandbox game right, especially when they focus on movement—Hello, Crackdown!—I find myself compelled.

 

So a fun, silly vampire twist on a game built around movement from a developer brave enough to set a game in a flooded homage to New Orleans (and who also made the great Sly Cooper games?) I'm gonna have to nod the affirmative. Infamous seems like the sort of game that almost anyone could enjoy. YES.

 

Non-player reviews are automatically invalid. I don't even get why they put this crap on there.

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see, on other boards, ive seen the argument that "should a reviewer who didn't complete the game be taken seriously", and the analogy was that if you dont finish a movie, that's something of a review - i get it for super-long RPGs and such, but quitting early on (see: Joystiq's horrendous Nier review) makes shit really amateur.

 

but uh, yeah, if you just look at something, you give impressions. i dont know how low the bar at Slowtaku is these days, but i really hope that wasn't presented as a review.

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I gave a review of Overlord on this very forum when I was about 15-20 hours in and I mocked the fact that you were about as evil as Ned Flanders and spent more time hanging evil drapes and killing hobbits than doing any cool destructive shit. I called it, justifiably, total dogshit.

 

I currently own and have finished Overlord and eagerly await playing the sequel which I also own. What I didn't realize was that after you got over that hump where the game kicks your ass it gets really fun. So incomplete reviews are dogshit.

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  • 9 months later...
  • 3 years later...

I just finished Uncharted 4, and it probably my second favorite entry, after 2. I liked it quite a bit, that's my review.

 

 

The Washington Post however (who I didn't even know did game reviews) tore it another asshole. Maybe it's just cause I disagree with it, but man the reviewer seems to really have it in for this series for some reason.

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WaPo wants a sign-in for that review..nahhhh

 

the fact it's up there with 2 for you is pretty high praise! cant wait till newt or space are done with their copy, haha

 

Yeah if I had to rank the series it would go

 

Uncharted 2

4

1

3

 

I never played the Vita version so I dunno about that one. Uncharted 4 though is probably the most gorgeous game I've ever played graphically.

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  • 5 months later...
  • 7 months later...

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