BigChiefSlapaho Posted September 28, 2004 Share Posted September 28, 2004 Over the last decade a new car phenomenon has taken place. The explosion of the sport compact car market and more importantly, the aftermarket. People should've invested in this sector rather than the tech bubble that popped a few years back, we would've all been voting Republican by now. So anyways, the sport compact car market blew up much in the same way as the muscle car era had its time in the 60's through the 80's (until the Energy Crisis). Thousands of companys have sprung up over the years saturting the market with parts like exhausts, body kits, lighting effects, power-adders, rims & tires, and much much more. What resulted is as follows: Idiots inevitably got their hands on this stuff and virtually ruined every car they could touch by going way over the top or doing retarded shit to their retarded cars. As Honda's popularity with the Pepsi Generation approached its peak, and idiots of all kinds began massacring their mom's Civics, a term was adopted to stigmatize these morons: "rice-burners". I don't know exactly why they chose this phrase, I'm guessing it has a reference to the Japanese culture and negatively connotates the Japanese car invasion of the late 80's early 90's, but now it has been shortened down to a subtle yet deadly phrase: Rice (n) - referring to an automobile in which customization has been way, way overdone or that none of the customization is tasteful but rather ghetto, retarded-looking, non-functional, and/or possibly performance & reliability reducing overall. "I'm not going to that stupid car show, there's nothing but rice in there." Ricey (adj) - a subjective derrogatory connotation towards an automobile that expresses characteristics of Rice. "Don't put that ricey exhaust on your Kia, you'll just be making noise for no reason" Rice-boy(girl) (adj) - describes a person who performs ricey behaviors on a regular basis. Unfortunately, these definitions vary from observer to observer. For instance, a true amateur or professional racer typically feels that any modifications to a car must be to improve performance, even if it sacrifices the overall look of the car. They'll strip out the radio, door panels, carpets, put smaller & wider wheels to take advantage of traction and acceleration, install power adders, and other things even if the car looks like junk later. So long as its faster. The street user, however, appreciates some parts of the racers attitude (the power adders, for instance), but will not usually sacrifice the look of the car since they will be driving this car often and trying to show off as much as possible. Oh they'll do the turbo-kit for power, but they'll put the 19" huge rims on it to look good as well, even if they know the smaller 16" wheels spin faster and weigh less. The moron will take random samplings from both the racer and the street user, as well as retarded suggestions made by burnout friends and idiots trying to take their money, to compile an automobile that looks, drives, sounds, and feels like total crap. But they think they're cool. Because someone lied to them. Here are some examples of ricey behavior: 1) Installing one of those annoying ass exhausts that serve only to make noise on your mom's Accord. 2) Swapping the badges of your car with another totally different car so that people think you have some kind of "special" model or something, but you don't... because you're an idiot. 3) Stickers of Japanese characters on your car, but you don't know what they actually mean. 4) Installing more than 1 set of foglights on your car. 5) Installing a huge ass wing on your trunk even if your car doesn't break 70mph on a good day. 6) Putting vinyl stickers on your car of several different manufacturers that have nothing to do with each other because you think that will make your car faster. Here are some websites dedicated to tracking down ricey cars and making fun of the owners. Bryan's Rice Boy Page You might be a riceboy if... Ricecop SO!!! How many riced-out cars can we find? I'm calling this the Hondo's Ricey Car Challenge. How many riced-out cars can you find? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigChiefSlapaho Posted September 28, 2004 Author Share Posted September 28, 2004 Here are some more additions of ricey moves: 1) Putting a body kit on your car without painting it. 2) Putting those IS300-wannabe like lights on your non-IS300 car 3) Cutting your springs to lower your car. This can lead to frame damage, unstable road handling and nasty accidents. 4) Placing the letter "R" somewhere on your car thinking that it will make your car faster. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigChiefSlapaho Posted September 29, 2004 Author Share Posted September 29, 2004 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Electric Duadoman Posted September 29, 2004 Share Posted September 29, 2004 Nothing annoys me more than cars with rims so big it looks like a SUV, big unneccessary spoilers, incorrect decals (I've seen a mustang with a honda R on it), and those cheesy ass fake Alteeza lights. Nothing can make a car look more rediculous than Altezza lights (I had some on a prelude, which I sold soon after...I was young damnit!). But to me the worst thing you can do to a car is put gold rims on it. :ill: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Electric Duadoman Posted September 29, 2004 Share Posted September 29, 2004 LOL... Gangsta... Maybe the Corvette lights will make it faster... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigChiefSlapaho Posted September 29, 2004 Author Share Posted September 29, 2004 Good ones Duads. Although chrome can look good in many situations, pimping out your base-model V-6 Mustang with chrome wheels so big that your car can't hit 8-mph anymore does not make your car a cool car. I think I have another Ricer rule: 1) Spending money buying stuff to make a car look good when the car doesn't even run properly. (i.e. buying neon lights instead of fixing your blown head gasket) Now, why is this a bowl of rice, you might ask? Well, actually, the CRX is a pretty sporty Front Wheel Drive car when kept the right way. The reason the CRX performs so well is because of its light weight, peaky motor, and excellent handling dynamics... not because its fast in a straight line. But this one... this is more of a show car... and show cars are generally filled to the brim with rice-ness. Dual exhaust? This car came with single exhaust to save weight, plus its a tiny 4 cylinder that doesnt' feel any power gains from a dual exhaust setup. Basically, that's just a noisemaker, and a heavy one at that. The body kit passes as decent because at least this one is painted unlike the thousands riding around with unpainted body kits looking like crap. The hood? Two snarling, huge nostrils to take in the massive CFM's of air this HUGE 1.6 liter motor sucks in... no. This car has the profile of Paula Jones. And yes, this guy spent a good amount of money buying 4 Corvette lights, fiberglass molding them into the rear hatch (which is a multi-step process that costs serious $$) painting them ($$), and wiring them to make them work ($$$$). All this money spent on a 1980-something CRX that could've been spent on a new car. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigChiefSlapaho Posted October 4, 2004 Author Share Posted October 4, 2004 Our Hondo's Rice Patrol came across two definite rice violations in South Dade County. Our first suspect... this "pimped out" mid 90's Honda Prelude. Let's examine the evidence. a) IS300 wannabe lights. b) Dreadfully tacky body kit c) HUGE carbon fiber wing. This car has probably never seen track duty or even the drag strip. And with that heavy body kit, it probably won't even see highway speeds. d) Unnecessary dual exhaust. Basically two noisemakers for your listening annoyance. and the coupe de grace: e) Badged with a 2.3 logo. The logo implies that this car... and THIS CAR ALONE... came with a 2.3 liter motor. Preludes of this generation never arrived with anything larger than a 2.0 liter motor. PLUS, this badge was obviously lifted from a Mercedez Benz. Nice job! The rims were actually really nice and the paint was kept pretty well except that on the body kit, it seems to not have enough coats to totally match. Well at least the owner painted the body kit. Next on the list... this '00 Toyota Corolla First off, the Hondo's Patroll had to agree that this person spent a hell of a lot of money on this car. We're guessing this owner almost matched the dollar value of the car in additional exterior items for your viewing crapness. The HRP was impressed with the quality of the paint job and the cleanliness of the car and would also like to point out the safety bonuses of the blinkers installed on the side view mirrors, but that did not salvage it from violations. Let's begin. a) HUGE logo on the windshield. The logo implies something implicit about a concept that is being done on this car. Thus, it says "Implicit Concepts". I doubt this owner even knows what implicit means. b) HUGE wheels. Normally, the HRP likes upgraded wheels and tires, but you have to realize, this motor comes with about 120hp and very little torque. This car has a hard time accelerating with wheels this big. The wheels and tires were beaucoup bucks. c) Stupid L.E.D. lights on the windshield sprayers. Annoying x100. d) Clear corner lights. Nobody knows why this part has so much popularity with the aftermarket movement. I guess somewhere in Japan they use clear lights instead of yellow turn signals. Anyways, the kids here get raped for these lights and usually they don't match up well with the other lights on the car. Go figure. e) Huge wing. This is a COROLLA. f) Gills on the side front fenders. Obviously to extract the huge amounts of heat generated by this motors giant 1.8 liters of displacement... no g) And finally, this person de-badged this entire car so that hopefully someone who's not paying too much attention could look at it and swear it's not the same Toyota Corolla their grandmother drives. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobitussinEF Posted October 8, 2004 Share Posted October 8, 2004 haha that Green mustang on 20's was in the same car club as me back then. He sold it for an excursion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigChiefSlapaho Posted October 11, 2004 Author Share Posted October 11, 2004 They're practically giving Excursions away at Ford due to the gas prices. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigChiefSlapaho Posted October 17, 2004 Author Share Posted October 17, 2004 The Hondo's Rice Patrol has found 2 new violators! This Lexus SC300 has been converted into a Lime Green Ghetto Machine 1) Lime Green glitter paint 2) Gold trim 3) 20 inch chrome wheels We just can't look at this car without thinking avocado. This Honda Civic base model made some violations. On top of that, the girl driving drives like a complete moron. 1) Obligatory IS300 lights 2) Loud ass pointless exhaust 3) Big wing 4) Front bumper with extra foglights, scratched up with non-matching paint. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The NZA Posted October 18, 2004 Share Posted October 18, 2004 haha...are you goin around with a digi cam on these people now? Nice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobitussinEF Posted October 18, 2004 Share Posted October 18, 2004 no he gets them from the websites that rank on ricer cars. Hey would pimp my ride classify as turning pinto's into ricer type cars? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigChiefSlapaho Posted October 18, 2004 Author Share Posted October 18, 2004 actually... the HRP get's them from a digicam while driving around. These cars really exist, and they're closer than you think. Not from a website Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobitussinEF Posted October 19, 2004 Share Posted October 19, 2004 yeah i used to have the miami local web address. imma see if i can find it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobitussinEF Posted October 19, 2004 Share Posted October 19, 2004 Heh as i was cleaning out my laptop just now i ran into this picture. didnt even know i had this on here. dont really know why i had it but i thought id share it! Rice or no rice?! 10 Bonus points if you know which Hondo's member this is! hehe j.k. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigChiefSlapaho Posted October 20, 2004 Author Share Posted October 20, 2004 Oh My God that is an Icy Hot Stunta if I've ever seen one Duads?!?! THAT YOU?!??! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigChiefSlapaho Posted October 20, 2004 Author Share Posted October 20, 2004 For those who haven't met the Icy Hot Stuntaz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigChiefSlapaho Posted October 20, 2004 Author Share Posted October 20, 2004 The Hondo's Rice Patrol strikes one mo' 'gain. Check out this disaster: 2000-something Chevy Monte Carlo The paint job.... Let's talk about the paint job.... We're hoping this is a woman's car, we're guessing this is a woman's car... it better be a woman's car. The paint start out being light pink flames at the front, set over a baby blue background paint. The rims...20s in chrome. Rides as high as a monster truck. This one was found in the dirty dirty. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Electric Duadoman Posted October 21, 2004 Share Posted October 21, 2004 Heh as i was cleaning out my laptop just now i ran into this picture. didnt even know i had this on here. dont really know why i had it but i thought id share it! Rice or no rice?! 10 Bonus points if you know which Hondo's member this is! hehe j.k. Wow I haven't seen that pic in forever. I was in high school, and the saddest part about it was the car was the SOHC version, with a puny 130 HP. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobitussinEF Posted October 21, 2004 Share Posted October 21, 2004 ha i remember racing against it with my old car down kendall drive! and we thought we were hot shmit! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigChiefSlapaho Posted March 19, 2005 Author Share Posted March 19, 2005 HRP Strikes again after long hiatus! We've found another one, in Coral Gables no less! It's an early 90's Lexus ES250. The first edition of this model. Used to be a luxury car, now it's been turned into a wide-body hunk of shit 1) Fiberglass molded wide body kit. This must've run the driver the same amount as the car's worth. They molded the entire car to be at least 3 inches wider on all sides. Great for street presence and filling up that lane on the narrow roads! 2) Stock steel wheels, dull black color: Dropped serious cash on the kit, left the wheels stock, and now the car has all the aggressiveness of Gary Coleman. 3) Obligatory DUBS sticker: This car has no dubs. 4) Spoiler: TRUST ME This car will not break 60mph. 5) Sporty front bumper lip: Excellent for ripping off on high parking lot blocks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dante Posted March 21, 2005 Share Posted March 21, 2005 Did anyone post this link yet? Laugh@Rice Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MetalHeart Posted March 21, 2005 Share Posted March 21, 2005 HAHAHAHAH props to Dante! Those pictures are so great! I think it makes it that much nicer with the people laughing over them haha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dante Posted March 21, 2005 Share Posted March 21, 2005 for a second that looked like a delorian maybe that's what they were aiming for... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MetalHeart Posted March 21, 2005 Share Posted March 21, 2005 Would have been cool! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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