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For Christy's take on things:


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Posted

My favortie movie? um, I have tons, anything by tarantino, boondock saints, kung fu hustle, and I love all the new Disney/Pixar movies, and my favorite girly movies would have to be, Little Women and Pride and Prejudice (not the crap remake with Kiera Knightly, but the one with Colin Firth)

 

Favorite item of clothing? mmmm sleeper pants, I wear them all the time, even places I shouldnt, they're just so fucking comfortable.

 

Do I exercise? I exercise the right to eat junk food haha no seriously I only exercise a little and I need to do more and soon will be when Jake gets his free membership to the gym. :2T:

 

No I dont visit beauty salons, I've gone once to get my hair cut, but usually my mom does it (she's really good) and if I want my nails done, she does them too. I eventually would like to go on a regular basis, you know waxing and stuff, but for now i do whats cheap.

 

 

 

Awww I missed you too MM, my computer was dead for awhile.

 

My favorite childhood memory?

Clean one:Every Christmas when all the family gets together, I love that feeling.

Dirty One: I was 13 and my friend and I acted out an adult movie, she was the guy and I was the girl, or when it was lesbian porn, we just did what they did, ha good times.

 

first wish: 100 billion dollars (it might as well be big)

second wish: that I am able to have healthy kids (it worries me)

third wish: world peace (of course)

 

Ultimate Fantasy Vacation: hmmm... that's tough

I would have to say a cruise then because I can see more than just one place, preferably one that starts in Alaska and ends in Italy haha they probably don't even hav one that does that, oh well.

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  • 3 weeks later...
Posted

I'll ask Jake some questions. :devil:

 

1. Who did you lose your virginity to? Describe her.

 

2. If you were a flower, what kind would you be?

 

3. What is your favorite food?

 

4. Would you ever live in Canada?

 

5. Are you allergic to anything?

 

6. What's your favorite game show?

 

7. Ever had a wierd sexual fantasy? And if so, what was it about?

 

8. Nocturnal emissions: Do you remember your first wet dream?

 

9. How old were you when you learned to ride a bike?

 

10. Do you think we'll ever have flying cars, that hydrogen powered vehicles will be practical, and will ethanol actually catch on?

Posted

Jake happily replies to any and all questions directed at him and here is the proof:

 

1. Who did you lose your virginity to? Describe her.

 

Her name was Amy, she was a showgirl (not really, she worked at K-Mart in the lay-a-way department) She was a bit taller than me, dark brown hair, and that's all I remember of her, except that she didn't look like Rosie O'Donnel. It was the most awkward experience of my life. She talked to me during the sex and neither one of us enjoyed it really. It took me years of therapy to get over it, thanks for bringing it up.

 

2. If you were a flower, what kind would you be?

 

The Fire Power one from Mario, so I could shoot turtles.

 

3. What is your favorite food?

 

Besides Vagina? Chili dogs, I like messy food.

 

4. Would you ever live in Canada?

 

It use to be "NO" because I thought Canada was the most boring place on Earth, but their political system seems to be a tad better than ours seeing how they don't let religion run their government. (Fucking George Bush, i hate that fucker.)

 

5. Are you allergic to anything?

 

Besides Republicans? Some kind of soap my mom made me eat once when she said I was lying about something I don't even remember, but I remember I tried to eat some grilled cheese and I tried to swallow and I couldn't and I was mad. It hurt really bad, but I think that's it. I'm also allergic to poop, despite what anyone says, I do not like it.

 

6. What's your favorite game show?

 

Real Game Show or Fake Game Show?

Real Game Show: Win Ben Stein's Money, cause he's real cool, even if he is Republican.

Fake Game Show: Drunken Marsupial Trivia, don't ask me what it is.

 

7. Ever had a wierd sexual fantasy? And if so, what was it about?

 

Define weird. All I'm going to say is it involved a rubber hose, a bucket of fried chicken, a baseball bat, a football helmet, a chair with wheels, a whole case of Dr. Pepper, a squirrel, 3 apples, 2 oranges, a Playboy, a Vanilla Ice CD, 1 member of Milli Vanilla (the dead one), a shark, a straw, a doorknob, and a rolled up newspaper. It was about my baseball coach. I'll let your imagination run wild. (That was all made up of course, I've never had a weird fantasy, unless you count one about my sister)

8. Nocturnal emissions: Do you remember your first wet dream?

 

No, I don't unless by wet dream you mean waking up in a puddle of pee, and I remember Christy not being very happy about it.

 

9. How old were you when you learned to ride a bike?

 

I'll be 27 on December 12th, maybe then I'll learn.

 

10. Do you think we'll ever have flying cars, that hydrogen powered vehicles will be practical, and will ethanol actually catch on?

 

We already have flying cars, driven by people with mullets, helmets, and flashy suits who don't know how to land very well. They only fly about 30 car lengths.

 

I do believe hydrogen powered vehicles will be practical when our elected officials stop taking money from the oil and automobile industry, and that will happen 3 days before the world ends.

 

As to the ethanol, do we really want to encourage drinking and driving? Although it might be cheaper to get drunk this way.

 

 

This concludes the portion of todays broadcast, tune in seomtime in the future, or the past really, I don't care.

Posted

so did you go on holiday this year?

tell us about your most romantic memory?

did you complete any of your new years resolutions this year?

what are your goals?

does jake have any bad habits?

do you have farting/burping competions?

Posted
so did you go on holiday this year?

 

Unfortunately no, when you don't have much money you pretty much don't get out of your house lol, but we are planning a big honeymoon, woot.

 

tell us about your most romantic memory?

 

I don't really have any romantic moments, I'm not really a romantic kind of girl, the best I can do is one night about 2 weeks after I had moved in with Jake we were laying in bed and he was playing with my hair and looking at me and he said that he loved me more than he ever thought he could ever love someone and other assorted mushiness and then he asked me to marry him and I started bawling like a baby. lol I couldn't help it, I don't know why. There you have it.

 

did you complete any of your new years resolutions this year?

 

Just one: I quit biting my nails, a habit I've had since I can remember, all the other ones will have to wait til next year, oh wait and I started my novel. yay

 

what are your goals?

 

1. Go to college, become something

2. Have at least 3 kids

3. Have fun and laugh a lot

4. Hopefully die before I get old enough to be in diapers.

 

that's about it, I dont have a lot of ambition lol

does jake have any bad habits?

 

what guy doesn't? :D

He leaves the toilet seat up

He never picks up after himself

He refuses to go out in public without a hat

He's too modest

that's about it really, damn I cant think of anymore, I know there are more

do you have farting/burping competions?

 

Sometimes, hahaha, we don't really call it a competition though and he usually always wins, by way of me leaving the room cause he is stinky.

Posted

1. Explain to me this mysterious concept of Bar S Bucks.

 

2. What color dress are you going to wear when you two jump the broom?

 

3. Did you ever have s tuffed animal/blanket that you always carried around as a kid? What was it's name?

 

4. How should I wear my hair thing weekend?

 

5. What is currently in your refrigerator?

 

6. Was the ride home from TX to OK yesterday rather scary/nervous?

 

7. Have you or your sister ever been bitten by a moose?

 

8. Have you ever been to the circus?

 

9. What's your favorite candy bar?

 

10. What brand of cigarettes do you prefer to smoke, provided you can afford them...

Posted
1. Explain to me this mysterious concept of Bar S Bucks.

 

He gets these sheets of paper that are basically money at certain places, like wal-mart, the tool store things like that, its basically cash you can use at certain stores.

2. What color dress are you going to wear when you two jump the broom?

 

Most likely white, everyone knows Im not a virgin, but I can pretend ofr one day damnit, or one morning, cause that night we have to break a record someone set, so we will be busy all night.

 

3. Did you ever have s tuffed animal/blanket that you always carried around as a kid? What was it's name?

 

I use to carry around a pillow case and rub it on my face while I sucked my finger hahaha, how embarrassing, but it didnt have a name, he was blue though and soft.

 

4. How should I wear my hair thing weekend?

 

I'm thinking down and maybe straight or slightly curly, but not a lot of stuff in it so you can run your hands through it, yes that's the way to go.

 

5. What is currently in your refrigerator?

 

a mess! Red and white cooking wine, thawing hamburger meat, ham, cheese, assorted condiments, reese's peanut butter cups, jelly, butter, sour cream, bacon bits, and that's about it.

6. Was the ride home from TX to OK yesterday rather scary/nervous?

 

hahaha you mean cause I was carrying illegal substances? lol

I got pulled over 3 times, we had a headlight out, and told them that it must have just happened on the way home, so we got 3 warnings lol. I wasnt nervous a bit surprisingly, they were all really nice.

7. Have you or your sister ever been bitten by a moose?

 

This one time I was bitten by a guy named Moose, but that's cause I wanted him to bite me, during...um...stuff that we were doing. No I havent really been bitten by a moose or a guy named moose.

 

Cathy on the other hand, well I just don't know, I'll have to ask her.

 

8. Have you ever been to the circus?

 

Nope, never. I always wanted to, but just never go tthe chance and we never went when we were kids, I dont know why. I shall go some day and see the awesomeness that is a circus. Maybe I'l go with you.

 

9. What's your favorite candy bar?

 

Probably just plain Hershey chocolate bars, I like Smores and Nutrageous, but Hersheys chocolate bars I can eat anytime.

 

10. What brand of cigarettes do you prefer to smoke, provided you can afford them...

 

Marlboro Lights in a box, I think I might quit soon, maybe, one day.

  • 1 month later...
Posted

So were you spoiled and pampered for Christmas?

Did you get everything to wanted?

How did you spend New Years eve?

Would you ever dye your hair a really mad colour?

Do you like eating fruit?

Can you write better with a pencil or a pen?

Posted

If you stumbled upon a time machine and had the chance to visit any point in time past present or future, where would you go and why?

 

If you could meet any historic figure who would you like to meet and why?

 

If you knew you were going to die tomorrow and you had to choose your last meal, which would it be?

 

Your favorite drink?

 

If you found a genie's lamp and he offered you 3 wishes, which would they be?

Posted
So were you spoiled and pampered for Christmas?

 

No, not really, we didn't have the money to pamper ourselves, but I was surrounded by family and my sister, her husband, and my nephew were visiting from Virginia, so it was all good.

 

Did you get everything to wanted?
\

 

I didn't want anything so everything exceeded my expectations lol well I did want a microwave cause cooking everything on the stove is a bitch, but I was going to buy that myself anyways. I did get a sewing machine, yay.

and some secret loving in the bathroom from Jake, but when we were done, my sister and mom were outside the door. hahaha they totally knew.

 

How did you spend New Years eve?

 

Drunk as hell at FDB's. Good times. Amber, Jake, and I got totally wasted. It was really fun and we must do it again sometime.

 

Would you ever dye your hair a really mad colour?

 

Yeah I would, I eventually want to have dyed my hair every color imaginable, one at a time of course.

Do you like eating fruit?

 

If by fruit you mean fruit then hell yeah, I love fruit. If by fruit you mean vagina, then hell yeah, I love vagina.

 

Can you write better with a pencil or a pen?

 

Pencil, but I prefer writing in colored pens.

 

If you stumbled upon a time machine and had the chance to visit any point in time past present or future, where would you go and why?

 

I would go back to right before the creation of the universe, to see how it really happened, if that were possible. that would be awesome, ha Id totally take a camera with me.

 

If you could meet any historic figure who would you like to meet and why?

 

Isn't everyones answer Jesus Christ, I would have to agree, and God, and maybe Mary Magdelene (sp?)

to see if she really was a whore or something else.

If you knew you were going to die tomorrow and you had to choose your last meal, which would it be?

 

chicken fried chicken with mashed potatoes, gravy, corn, and rolls.

 

Your favorite drink?

 

non alcoholic: Dr. Pepper

alcoholic: Amaretto Sour

 

 

If you found a genie's lamp and he offered you 3 wishes, which would they be?

 

1. A billion dollars, no strings attached.

2. A cure to all known diseases.

3. To be a man for one day.

Posted

1. When will I get to see you again?

 

2. Have you ever done the whipped cream bikini thing?

 

3. Do you sleep ony our side or on your stomach?

 

4. Would you ever shave your head?

 

5. Bird or fish? I mean, to be for a day...

 

6. World peace or cure world hunger?

 

7. Is there something stupid, like a poem or some wierd dance or a strange sraft that you learned in elementary school and still remember?

 

8. Can you whistle?

 

9. Gold or silver jewelry?

 

10. Pancakes or waffles?

 

 

And now, I will regale Jake with some questions cause I'm obnoxious like that.

 

1. Do you like catfish?

 

2. Ever been caught masturbting?

 

3. Name one song that annoys you to no end.

 

4. Pet peeves?

 

5. They say if you take the name of your first pet and the name of the street you first lived on and throw it together, that would be your porn star name. So what's your porn star name?

 

6. What's your favorite type of salad dressing?

 

7. Favorite baseball player?

 

8. Spaghetti with or without meatballs?

 

9. Have you ever worn makeup?

 

10. Ever broekn a bone?

Posted
1. When will I get to see you again?

 

Whenever you want. Just close your eyes and think of me and soon I will be there, to lighten up even your darkest days. You just call out my name and you know wherever I am, I'll come running.......if I have the time and money to come to Texas lol Probably SuperBowl weekend.

 

2. Have you ever done the whipped cream bikini thing?

 

No, hahaha noone wants to see this in a whip cream bikini, trust me on that.

 

3. Do you sleep ony our side or on your stomach?

 

I start out sleeping on my side and end up on my stomach, so both.

 

4. Would you ever shave your head?

 

No, unless I got cancer and it was falling out anyway, then I would shave my head and get a wig. Yeah, a wig.

 

5. Bird or fish? I mean, to be for a day...

 

Definitely a bird. I've always wanted to fly, but I've never wanted to be eaten by a shark.

 

6. World peace or cure world hunger?

 

I think I would go with curing world hunger, I dont know, but thats what I would pick.

 

7. Is there something stupid, like a poem or some wierd dance or a strange sraft that you learned in elementary school and still remember?

 

I learned the Chicken Dance, I think everyone did, but I still do it in the car sometimes, or when Im by myself and I've just put deodarant on.

 

8. Can you whistle?

 

very fluently, hahaha, yeah I can pretty well, though not as well as my dad or that one guy who whistled that one thing that one time.

 

9. Gold or silver jewelry?

 

Definitely silver or white gold, yellow gold makes me feel gaudy.

10. Pancakes or waffles?

 

Waffles, ahoy.......with syrup and butter, but not too much syrup you dont want to drown the waffle before you tear its head off.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

MetalHeart Posted Yesterday, 08:22 PM

Mops or Trees? and why?

 

Thats' a tough decision, you can't climb a mop and a mop can't give you oxygen, but a tree can't clean your floor can it. So I would have to say tree for none of these reasons I've mentioned, but because I once had sex with a tree, oh yeah that's right and he was great. woo!

 

why is my quote thingy not working? what did I do wrong?

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

Who is it that said "People always want what they can't have" ??

I would probably never have the chance to be a man, but if I did, it would be for strictly perverted reasons. I've always wondered what it felt like to have a penis. I'm sure every woman has, and if they say they haven't they're lying. So in answer to your question. For Dirty reason of my very own.

  • 3 weeks later...

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