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The Escapist: Zero Punctuation


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Yahtzee is a British-born, currently Australian-based writer and gamer with a sweet hat and a chip on his shoulder. When he isn't talking very fast into a headset mic he also designs freeware adventure games and does the occasional feature for Australia's Hyper Magazine.

 

 

 

 

 

 

You can't get away with that shit in the states.

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  • 3 months later...

...ok so it took a while (especially since, for some reason, i can only view his reviews in IE...newt, those links sadly died) but i checked out Zero Punctuation over at The Escapist and holy shit, i have a new favorite reviewer. Scathing, yes, but most times quite honest and fucking hilarious at that. Especially after this week's bullshit move from Gamespot, its nice to see some honesty, however brutal.

 

Zero Punctuation: the greatest games reviews evar

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  • 5 months later...

Heh. I'm with Baytor. Every thread could be a zero punc thread and they'd all be awesome. I fucking can't believe I missed him on a panel discussion at the ACMI about 'what makes a good game'. That would've been fucking awesome.

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For me, Yahtzee's awesome cause theyre not only hilarious, they're often on the money. Sometimes he's nit-picky, but take for example, Silent Hill Origins. Sure, everyone knocked the fact it was SH-by-numbers and breakable weapons suck as a concept here, but something else got under my skin - he mentioned that, past the game's first scene (even then) Trucker-guy has no real reason, no legit motivation to stay in this hellish town. Everyone that comes to Silent Hill is looking for someone, however crazy they are. This guy shouldve up & left after the hospital scene and for a game where we all forgive its combat engine & repetitive nature, a plothole like that does throw shit off.

 

He's pretty good for catching the nuances that i feel many reviews gloss over while either praising the game for pages & rushing threw its faults last paragraph (IGN, gamepro etc) or simply go on about what they wanted the game to be (1up sometimes) so yeah, i love this guy, even if i am weeks behind.

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  • 1 month later...

finally caught up on his reviews of Haze, World Ends With You, Oblivion, Smash Bros, No More Heroes, GTA IV, and MGS 4 - wow. I love this man's reviews more by the day.

 

still, hard to top his hatred of JRPG's being "the same as listening to the star wars soundtrack while huffing nitrus oxide and reading spreadsheets." heh. Special place in my heart for "...being whiter than a snowman with a bukkake fettish means a lot of residual guilt".

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he did, but for all the right reasons - same way he did Smash Bros, kind of. he doesnt like it when franchises get a pass for things.

the game, at no point, is approachable to those not following the story. the story, as he said, is convoluted and ranges from clever to batshit insane. You've either been following it and love Kojima's works enough to give the crazy bits a pass, or like many others, you dont - personally, im a bit surprised its as popular as it is. Its amazing but very esoteric, and he's spot on about the heavy, heavy cutscenes.

Also, as a big FPS fan, the 3rd-person controls - though greatly improved for this chapter - are still gonna feel clunky, especially if you're used to a mouse & keyboard.

 

that's the thing about yahtzee; most times when he shits on things, i can see why he does it, even if i dont agree. I clearly love J-RPGs more than he but when he rants about how it takes you out of the story process and just sorta moving the character about into the next dialogue bubble and why he thinks that's shoddy writing, i can see what he's saying.

 

and yes, i finished my plot synopsis for gamefaqs and am throwing rocks at his window as we speak

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heh, i guess.

he always shits on nintendo for getting a free pass for just reviving its 20+ year old licenses over and over, and he even says at the end of the MGS4 one that he's likely jealous that kojima can get away with the batshit-insane stuff. but once he's past that, his complaints are pretty relevant too. he's not lying about being 23 minutes into the game before encountering action.

 

take his condemned 2 review: saying it suffers from Indigo Prophecy syndrome (as far as the plot starting strong and going absolutely nuts by its end) is a great analogy.

 

but yes, i do hold my BA in apologetics from the school ASC.

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