Silent Bob Posted July 13, 2003 Share Posted July 13, 2003 Hah. Finally I get in first with a review. Eat that, ye swabs!......erm, sorry. 'S still with me. But really, Finding Nemo aside, Pirates is the most fun you'll have in a theatre this summer. Ah hell, I guess you could see any movie that has Geoffrey Rush in it, huh? This movie has everything you've ever loved about classic pirate movies - swashbuckling, rope swinging, cannon firing, talking parrots, timber shivering, and yes even a pet monkey. But wait, Cutthroat Island had all that, too, didn't it? What makes this one so different? The acting, of course! And there was a lot of it. Sure, it wasn't all stellar. Orlando Bloom is simply adequate as the square-jawed, straight-arrow hero, and that Natalie Portman/Winona Ryder lookalike whose name I can't remember is barely memorable as the damsel-in-distress/undress (who in typical 90s fashion is actually able to kick a little pirate ass herself). But then there are our pirate leads. Firstly, there's Geoffrey Rush. He's the pirate you've always remembered. The one with the big floppy hat, big floppy beard, goofy accent. The one who actually, literally does say "Arrrr!" and makes people walk the plank. And he loves every minute of it. And then there's Johnny Depp. If Geoffrey Rush's "Captain Barbossa" is the classic pirate you've always loved, then Depp's "Jack Sparrow" is a breed of pirate you've never seen before. Grinning and swaggering, and in what appears to be a perpetual state of intoxication, Sparrow is one of the best examples of genius Johnny Depp character developing - and there are a lot of good examples of that. There's so much lunacy in his character that under any actor he would be completely unbelievable. But we believe it because Depp believes it. Not once does his mask slip, not once does he turn to the camera and wink and let us know that he's just acting. Depp is Jack Sparrow, and neither the camera nor the audience can get enough of his...well...unhinged wackiness. On top of that, there's great fight scenes, a wonderful adventure-movie score, the downright creepy directing of Gore Verbinski, plenty of shots of whatsername's cleavage...and oh yeah, the pirates turn into skeletons in the moonlight. So does the monkey. Which leads me into how good the visual effects were. And yeah, they were good. Not only are these cg walking skeleton's realistic as hell, but just wait until the end when you see swordfights where the actors dance around between rays of moonlight. It's incredible to watch Geoffrey Rush turn into a skeleton, and back into himself seamlessly, in the same shot. Breathtaking, really. So forget Charlie's Angels, screw The Hulk, fuck LXG, Pirates of the Caribbean is the best movie this summer since that other Disney ocean-traversing movie. Yo ho. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soldier of fortune Posted July 13, 2003 Share Posted July 13, 2003 Seen the trailer for this one, looks like a barrel of laughs!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reverend Jax Posted July 13, 2003 Share Posted July 13, 2003 Excellent. The reviews said it was good, but SB's stamp of aproval seals the deal. If I end up lot liking this movie, I think it'll be the first time I've disagreed with SB on the topic of cinema. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silent Bob Posted July 13, 2003 Author Share Posted July 13, 2003 Well trust me. Even if you hate the rest of the movie, Depp is worth the price of admission. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Athena Posted July 20, 2003 Share Posted July 20, 2003 Yes, Depp is worth the price of the admission. And besides his loverly acting, he's so pretty. Honestly, I have a hard time deciding who I was drooling over more: johnny, orlando, or cleavage girl. But I agree. Loved it. Had free passes, but I definitely would have paid to see it. (Side note, CNN just showed a polar bear turned completely purple by its skin medicine. hmm.) Anyway, So forget Charlie's Angels, screw The Hulk, fuck LXG, You mean: fuck Charlie's Angels (cause despite the movie, they're all delectable, especially Miss Drew.) forget the Hulk (if you're lucky) screw LXG (well, at least Peta Wilson's character) Sorry to dwell on screwability, but can you help it when marketing focuses on so much skin and ass? ANyway, I would make more sophisticated critical comments, but Bob said a lot, and quite nicely if i say so myself. Great movie, powerful cast, and exquistie effects. Go see it. Now. :approve: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silent Bob Posted July 20, 2003 Author Share Posted July 20, 2003 Anyway, So forget Charlie's Angels, screw The Hulk, fuck LXG, You mean: fuck Charlie's Angels (cause despite the movie, they're all delectable, especially Miss Drew.) forget the Hulk (if you're lucky) screw LXG (well, at least Peta Wilson's character) Mm, good point. And I was aware of that when I wrote it, but my girlfriend was standing over my shoulder at the time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reverend Jax Posted July 21, 2003 Share Posted July 21, 2003 Saw it on Friday. Great entertainment. As always, Johnny Depp delivers. He could have made Godzilla or Speed 2 enjoyable if he were in those movies. Jack Sparrow was just a great character with a hilariouly drunken attitude towards everything. Sort of embodying the spirit of this board. His physical acting was great too. Best movie thi summer after Finding Nemo, The Matrix Reloaded and X-Men 2 (I still haven't seen T3). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ganny McVagflaps Posted July 21, 2003 Share Posted July 21, 2003 Back to fucking stars (ain't no girlfriend looking over my shoulder), the cleavege girl in "Pirates" gets 'em out in "The Hole". Worth a rent for that alone, but the movie itself suuuucccckkkksss coooooocccckkkk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ganny McVagflaps Posted July 21, 2003 Share Posted July 21, 2003 "The Hole" that is, not "Pirates". Everyone I know whose seen hit says it's good. "Pirates" not "The Hole". Fuck, this is getting confusing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silent Bob Posted July 21, 2003 Author Share Posted July 21, 2003 .........the hell did you just say? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ganny McVagflaps Posted July 21, 2003 Share Posted July 21, 2003 Okay 1) You see the girl outta "Pirates" boobies in "The Hole". 2) "The Hole" is a shit movie, but the boobies part is good. 3) I've been told that "Pirates" is a good movie, but there's no boobies in it. *Phew* maybe that'll make sense... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silent Bob Posted July 21, 2003 Author Share Posted July 21, 2003 Ohhhhhh, ok. Boobies, nice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The NZA Posted July 21, 2003 Share Posted July 21, 2003 Explain further...with pictures, if you can. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silent Bob Posted July 21, 2003 Author Share Posted July 21, 2003 Here, IC. Good movie with good scenery Bad movie with even better scenery Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spiffytee Posted July 22, 2003 Share Posted July 22, 2003 amazing, but this is what she looks like at the premire. i think these pics are by far the hottest Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silent Bob Posted July 22, 2003 Author Share Posted July 22, 2003 Yeah, if you're into that way-too-skinny thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ganny McVagflaps Posted July 23, 2003 Share Posted July 23, 2003 Kiera Knightley sure is the goods. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spiffytee Posted July 23, 2003 Share Posted July 23, 2003 hey, that "way-too-skinny" look is grrrrrr-eat! nice one, 2-track! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ganny McVagflaps Posted July 24, 2003 Share Posted July 24, 2003 Hey, I won't let anyone bad mouth KK. Wasn't this a "Pirates of the Caribbean" thread at one stage? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silent Bob Posted July 25, 2003 Author Share Posted July 25, 2003 Heh, coulda sworn... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ganny McVagflaps Posted July 28, 2003 Share Posted July 28, 2003 Damn...did it again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silent Bob Posted July 28, 2003 Author Share Posted July 28, 2003 Droooooooool... Uh, I mean, well yeah, but what about Pirates of the Caribbean? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silent Bob Posted July 28, 2003 Author Share Posted July 28, 2003 Mmmm, apples! Proudly slowing down the board. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ganny McVagflaps Posted July 29, 2003 Share Posted July 29, 2003 Enough of these Johnny Depp shennanigans....back to Kiera Knightley! That's better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reverend Jax Posted July 29, 2003 Share Posted July 29, 2003 2T, have you still not seen Pirates? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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