Silent Bob Posted July 13, 2003 Share Posted July 13, 2003 Hah. Finally I get in first with a review. Eat that, ye swabs!......erm, sorry. 'S still with me. But really, Finding Nemo aside, Pirates is the most fun you'll have in a theatre this summer. Ah hell, I guess you could see any movie that has Geoffrey Rush in it, huh? This movie has everything you've ever loved about classic pirate movies - swashbuckling, rope swinging, cannon firing, talking parrots, timber shivering, and yes even a pet monkey. But wait, Cutthroat Island had all that, too, didn't it? What makes this one so different? The acting, of course! And there was a lot of it. Sure, it wasn't all stellar. Orlando Bloom is simply adequate as the square-jawed, straight-arrow hero, and that Natalie Portman/Winona Ryder lookalike whose name I can't remember is barely memorable as the damsel-in-distress/undress (who in typical 90s fashion is actually able to kick a little pirate ass herself). But then there are our pirate leads. Firstly, there's Geoffrey Rush. He's the pirate you've always remembered. The one with the big floppy hat, big floppy beard, goofy accent. The one who actually, literally does say "Arrrr!" and makes people walk the plank. And he loves every minute of it. And then there's Johnny Depp. If Geoffrey Rush's "Captain Barbossa" is the classic pirate you've always loved, then Depp's "Jack Sparrow" is a breed of pirate you've never seen before. Grinning and swaggering, and in what appears to be a perpetual state of intoxication, Sparrow is one of the best examples of genius Johnny Depp character developing - and there are a lot of good examples of that. There's so much lunacy in his character that under any actor he would be completely unbelievable. But we believe it because Depp believes it. Not once does his mask slip, not once does he turn to the camera and wink and let us know that he's just acting. Depp is Jack Sparrow, and neither the camera nor the audience can get enough of his...well...unhinged wackiness. On top of that, there's great fight scenes, a wonderful adventure-movie score, the downright creepy directing of Gore Verbinski, plenty of shots of whatsername's cleavage...and oh yeah, the pirates turn into skeletons in the moonlight. So does the monkey. Which leads me into how good the visual effects were. And yeah, they were good. Not only are these cg walking skeleton's realistic as hell, but just wait until the end when you see swordfights where the actors dance around between rays of moonlight. It's incredible to watch Geoffrey Rush turn into a skeleton, and back into himself seamlessly, in the same shot. Breathtaking, really. So forget Charlie's Angels, screw The Hulk, fuck LXG, Pirates of the Caribbean is the best movie this summer since that other Disney ocean-traversing movie. Yo ho. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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