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Blargh - The Random Thread


The NZA

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my hairy shoulders make me feel sexy, i always seduce the lady's by offering them the opportunity to comb my shoulder hair.

they want to tame the beast, but one cannot tame a beast.

 

 

man, trying to hide a boner in jeans sucks

 

 

:yup:

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QUOTE(alive she cried @ May 15 2007, 06:10 PM) *

my hairy shoulders make me feel sexy, i always seduce the lady's by offering them the opportunity to comb my shoulder hair.

they want to tame the beast, but one cannot tame a beast.

 

QUOTE(the division of joy @ May 15 2007, 07:35 PM) *

man, trying to hide a boner in jeans sucks

 

:yup:

 

you little minx

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ok, all you EUROS, listen up... as a baggage handler, i need to speak up, because i just stacked three flights on my own in 90 degree heat... you see:

 

ALL OF YOU need to gather up all your little friends, take them to your local hangout and teach them of the meaning of the words:

 

PACK FUCKING LIGHT!!

 

PLEASE... PACK FUCKING LIGHT, YOU DON'T NEED TO TAKE YOUR ENTIRE WARDROBE WITH YOU... WE DO HAVE FUCKING WASHING MACHINES IN THIS CONTINENT, TAKE 5 FUCKING SHIRTS AND 3 PAIRS OF JEANS FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE, THAT'S ALL YOU'RE GOING TO USE ANYWAY... AND REALIZE THAT, OUR SOUVENIERS SUCK!!!! YOU DON'T NEED TO TAKE 6 BAGS WORTH OF OUR SHIT WITH YOU!!! YOU DON'T LIVE IN FUCKING HAITI, HALF THAT SHIT IS LOCATED AT YOUR LOCAL MALL, ASSES!!!

 

also.... HARD SIDED BAGS, AS YOU ALL SEEMINGLY ENJOY OWNING IN DROVES, WILL NOT PROTECT THE CONTENTS OF YOU FUCKING LUGGAGE, seriously, you CAN'T slide that shit in the bin of an aircraft and it just adds like 15 MORE LBS TO YOUR ALREADY EXCRUTIATINGLY OVERSIZED BAG... so, since we can't slide it down, we just toss the fuck out of it 10 FEET inside the aircraft bin cause no one's going to push your heavy ass shit down to the stacker at the other end... BUY MOTHERFUCKING SOFT BAGS THAT CAN FUCKING SLIDE!!!!

 

and one other thing... STOP BUYING PLASTIC PROTECTION FOR $9 FUCKING DOLLARS A BAG FOR YOUR HARD SIDED OVERSIZED MOTHERFUCKING BAGS BECAUSE WE RIP THAT SHIT APART ANYWAY TRYING TO STACK IT IN AN AIRCRAFT BIN, THE SUN MAKES YOUR PLASTIC COVERED BAGS FUCKING HOT AS HELL AND THAT BURNS US!!! SO YOUR BAG HAS NOW BECOME OUR ENEMY UPON CONTACT... TRUST ME, YOUR SHIT WILL MAKE IT TO GATWICK BETTER WITHOUT IT!!!! ALRIGHT!!!!

 

... that is all

Edited by SpunkyMonkey
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ok, all you EUROS, listen up... as a baggage handler, i need to speak up, because i just stacked three flights on my own in 90 degree heat... you see:

 

ALL OF YOU need to gather up all your little friends, take them to your local hangout and teach them of the meaning of the words:

 

PACK FUCKING LIGHT!!

 

PLEASE... PACK FUCKING LIGHT, YOU DON'T NEED TO TAKE YOUR ENTIRE WARDROBE WITH YOU... WE DO HAVE FUCKING WASHING MACHINES IN THIS CONTINENT, TAKE 5 FUCKING SHIRTS AND 3 PAIRS OF JEANS FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE, THAT'S ALL YOU'RE GOING TO USE ANYWAY... AND REALIZE THAT, OUR SOUVENIERS SUCK!!!! YOU DON'T NEED TO TAKE 6 BAGS WORTH OF OUR SHIT WITH YOU!!! YOU DON'T LIVE IN FUCKING HAITI, HALF THAT SHIT IS LOCATED AT YOUR LOCAL MALL, ASSES!!!

 

also.... HARD SIDED BAGS, AS YOU ALL SEEMINGLY ENJOY OWNING IN DROVES, WILL NOT PROTECT THE CONTENTS OF YOU FUCKING LUGGAGE, seriously, you CAN'T slide that shit in the bin of an aircraft and it just adds like 15 MORE LBS TO YOUR ALREADY EXCRUTIATINGLY OVERSIZED BAG... so, since we can't slide it down, we just toss the fuck out of it 10 FEET inside the aircraft bin cause no one's going to push your heavy ass shit down to the stacker at the other end... BUY MOTHERFUCKING SOFT BAGS THAT CAN FUCKING SLIDE!!!!

 

and one other thing... STOP BUYING PLASTIC PROTECTION FOR $9 FUCKING DOLLARS A BAG FOR YOUR HARD SIDED OVERSIZED MOTHERFUCKING BAGS BECAUSE WE RIP THAT SHIT APART ANYWAY TRYING TO STACK IT IN AN AIRCRAFT BIN, THE SUN MAKES YOUR PLASTIC COVERED BAGS FUCKING HOT AS HELL AND THAT BURNS US!!! SO YOUR BAG HAS NOW BECOME OUR ENEMY UPON CONTACT... TRUST ME, YOUR SHIT WILL MAKE IT TO GATWICK BETTER WITHOUT IT!!!! ALRIGHT!!!!

 

... that is all

 

duly noted.

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I know the non-irish won't get most of these, but it's so good i had to post it.

 

What Culchies (country folk) Like

 

1 A nice bit of ham.

2 Buttered biscuits.

3 Diggin Houles.

4 Saying its too cold to snow

5 Pretending to know about The Ra.

6 Tayto Cheese & Onion

7 Pretending they're in The Ra.

8 A stretch in the evenings

9 Lucozade

10 Accordians

11 Pretending to like Holy Week.

12 A dinner dance

13 Gettin clattered in muck.

14 Shania Twain.

15 Hefers

16 Spittin in their hands before doing anything manual

17 Steel toe caps

18 A big bowl of carrots & parsnips.

19 Eating sangwiches out of the boot of a car at GAA

20 Saying someones 'Opened a Book' on something.

21 The smell of fresh dung.

22 Slice-Your-Own Loaf.

23 Work Clothes

24 A bottle of mineral.

25 Fightin'.

26 Puttin on a ganzee to stop them from bein foundered

27 'The' Hurling/Fitball.

28 Being overweight.

29 Wimen wha resemble Hefers.

30 Saying "Aaah" after taking their first sup of tae.

31 Drink driving.

32 Red diesel

33 The Fear of Change.

34 A nice bit of Barnbrac

35 Lying.

36 Building walls.

37 Being starved with the cold rather than with a lack of food

38 Pretending to like mass

39 Talking about shite like Flax and the Corncrake.

40 A good blackthorn walkin stick.

41 Shouting 'Yeeeeeoooo' when something good happens.

42 Mohammed Ali.

43 Machinery.

44 Strange uppy-downy walks.

45 A good f**kin read of Irelands Own.

46 Gelling their 1cm fringe tight to their forehead.

47 Scandal, as long as its about other people.

48 Turf, because Sentirl heatin's for wimen.

49 Soda farls

50 Sponge 'n Custirt

51 Newmerica', and anything to do with it.

52 Givin the dog the wildest baytins.

53 Givin the wife the wildest baytins.

54 The Ra.

55 Winning a leg of lamb in a raffle.

56 Wrecking the house whilst steaming.

57 Club Orange

58 rubbing their hands together before tucking into their dinner

59 The Foot & Mouth.

60 Aetin' a big feed of spuds.

61 TK Red Lemonade

62 Good Short hair for boys and nice long hair for the wimen(it confuses

them otherwise)

Edited by alive she cried
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