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*ahem* so, aside from Pinky, DD never had a mascot, and so i figured when i opened this place, id give it a go. The best i came up with for our bar was (eeyore's favorite):




Drinky Duck


Now, Drinky wasnt a nice duck...he was downright...surly. I tried - god, how i tried! - to get him to say cute things, or just be nice, but all he wanted to talk about was vodka IV's, and yell "Where the white women at?!". He was known for rambunctious behavior at all hours, along with his forgotten cohort, Drunken Monkey of the Links section.


When he passed at the end of last year, due to massive mallard cirrhosis, it was commented that his own mother didnt miss him. Tragic, but true.


At times, popular threads attempted their own creations, such as...






...who, though pleasant (most likely due to being unintelligble), was last seen by the mexican border, filled with illegal goods. Out track record in this department isnt doing so well.




In a bold, controversial move, Keshante attempted to spread his love for pooh-bear all over Hondo's, but his love for the peaceful, marketable bear ran out when Pooh's more ill-tempered cousin, Poohnanny-bear showed up and devoured him. This move was heralded by all hondonians, and therefore, we unveil our latest malevolent friend...




Ladies and gentlemen, i give you: Pythagoras, or P, or goras, as he goes by, but he doesnt seem fond of "thag". :D


He arrived today at Hondo's central in an ominious box, with the return address of "Lativa, suckers" and a note saying that he enjoys long waddles on the beach, and eating babies. We've since determined that he is either a Penguinky or a Monkapenguin, but he's definitely of the simian/spheniscidae persuasion, and is absolutely charming: his all but vestigial fins keep him from flinging poo, but this sure doesnt stop him from trying, god bless 'im! :D


The point is: he loves you all*, and not just the juices inside of you. Please make him feel welcome, and give me ideas as to what to do with him.




*: i dont think he's made up his mind about jax yet.

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:: runs crying to the other room ::


your concern is sweet, but perhaps unwarranted. there streets are ablaze with rumors of drinky's return as a duck of the undead, though im not sure how well he's fairing, as another rumor points to him still doing only booze, unless your blood alcohol level's over 4.0, in which case youre prolly dead anyway.


More people must welcome Pythagoras, or the baby eating starts early.

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the...the bottom part illustrates the rise in loneliness, and then red part on the left, that's to show the rise in babies...dammit, if you dont show him love, he eats things! You read it just fine, you just dont want him to be loved, or non-carnivorous! :D

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This is true. And he appreciates the love.


MetalHeart is a benchmark on this graph for loneliness. I refer you to this pic:




Metal was the first to make him feel welcome, and thus made an impression. Since that image made both he and i cry (at different times), it had an impact, and thus sweet MH became a benchmark here for loneliness; as clearly illustrated, MH level of loneliness = mini mall of babies eaten.

...am I gonna need a powerpoint presentation here?

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While you critique the graph, thaggy only gets more and more into the later works of Poe and Reznor, and the midwest is losing its children.


...im afraid im gonna need one of you photoshop/paint kids to give gora some tears, and perhaps a few bits around him. If that doesnt get him some love, i dont know what will.


i swear, soneone puts pics of how to lacerate your penis in crap shack, and you people flock to it, but we get a pseudo-mascot, and he's left to rot with superman red!

its just too much to bear. :D

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True, but now that he's part of satan's unholy army of the undead (..ducks?), should he ever run out of booze & crave the blood of the living, P-diddy here may be the last line of defense between the malicous mallard and your shins.


I know its hard to accept, but drinky duck is not the duck we knew and (kinda) loved; he stopped being that when he came back from the dead, all eyes glowing red and quacking backwards. I assure you, when next im near a computer with MS paint, i will give you an artist's rendition.


Time will heal this wound, dear Isa. Time, and...Pythagoras, who only eats babies, and mostly ones nobody wants anyway. How lovable is that?! :D

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...alright, alright, yes he does have a gaping maw, which sometimes smells of cabbage, and baby heads. Yes, he does belive bathing is "unlucky", he does eat ramen noodles right out of the bag, and he likes to lounge on that goddamn New Kids On The Block towel no matter how much i try to hide it from him.


but..but he's just as scared and lonely as the rest of you. If you take his Yanni CD's, does he not cry? If you put his fins in warm water while he sleeps, will he not pee himself? I'm not certain about the last one, but I'm gonna try later. My point is, he'll grow on you if you let him, like asbestos, but more furry.

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Yeah, Thaggy's the shiz. Deal with it 'Bella. Let's move along. I'm learning how to croquet crochet from my hippie housemate so's i can do him up some nice legwarmers for winter.


Oh, and Nick? Superman Red says he resides in his own circle of Hell reserved only for Thunderstrike, Kesh, Jesus De Sade and you.

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