BrigitDryad0 Posted April 11, 2003 Share Posted April 11, 2003 (edited) Why, every time I go to type "to a point," I end up typing "to a pint"? Maybe I should head to the pub... --wait, I'm already AT the pub... Edited April 11, 2003 by BrigitDryad0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuperEeyore Posted April 11, 2003 Share Posted April 11, 2003 ::Clicking her heels:: there is no place like home..... ::Clicking her heels:: there is no place like home..... ::Clicking her heels:: there is no place like home..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The NZA Posted April 11, 2003 Author Share Posted April 11, 2003 Yahven...you didnt send me that pic yet... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigChiefSlapaho Posted April 11, 2003 Share Posted April 11, 2003 Mis bolas pican Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobitussinEF Posted April 11, 2003 Share Posted April 11, 2003 Dont you ever wish you can look into the future..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Take Me To Your Lizard Posted April 12, 2003 Share Posted April 12, 2003 Booya, time to change avatar. Yes, I know I'm such a fanboy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spongebob Posted April 12, 2003 Share Posted April 12, 2003 (one for mike and danny) lavaplatos púrpura del mono Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The NZA Posted April 12, 2003 Author Share Posted April 12, 2003 no phone, no cry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobitussinEF Posted April 12, 2003 Share Posted April 12, 2003 mo money mo problems- p diddy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ganny McVagflaps Posted April 12, 2003 Share Posted April 12, 2003 My ex co-stars can kiss my ass By Gary Coleman Mall Security Guard Hi everybody, it's me, Gary Coleman. You may remember me as Arnold on Diff'rent Strokes, or as one of the judges in the Hawaiian Tropic Pageantry. I admit I was surprised when I was asked to write an article, but after awhile I warmed up to the idea. I figure this is a great place to voice my opinions, and let people know that I am and always will be an entertainer. That having been said, I'd like to use this first article to give you all some insight into my childhood, and what it was like growing up on TV. First off, child actors don't get laid half as often as you'd imagine. I mean, when I was on Diff'rent Strokes, everybody was talking about how cute I was and shit, but they'd always end up screwing Jerry, our producer, or Todd Bridges, my TV brother. I was the damn star of the show. None of these people would've had jobs if I didn't say, "Watchoo talkin' bout Willis?" thirty times a day. I should be getting the tail. My first time was emotionally scarring. This fine woman came to the set on my birthday, and she started massaging my shoulders and telling me how much she loved the show. We talked for awhile, then we ended up going to my trailer. Just after we got started, the door burst open and everybody yelled out "Surprise!". Todd had a camera and snapped a picture. It turned out that the girl was a hooker that they hired. Every time I got angry on the set Todd would break out that Polaroid. I never got any respect. Like that Chrismas party where Conrad Bain got drunk, whipped out his dick and put it on my head. Then he says, "Look everyone, it's a headrest! Get it? Headrest!" Everyone laughed, but they were all so coked up they would've laughed at the impending death of their careers. I pretended to laugh, then when nobody was looking I punched that old sonofabitch in the nuts. He didn't think that was very funny. You know what else pisses me off? I tried for a year to be an Ewok in Return of the Jedi and that bastard Lucas turned me down. I mean, I was the star of a primetime sitcom for years, and I get the shaft. Kenny Baker and Warwick Davis are two midgets who shouldve ended up in gay porn, now they're immortalized in the hearts of geeks everywhere. While they're milking the sci-fi convention circuit I'm getting harassed by fat women in convenience stores on my coffee breaks. There's no friggin' justice in this world. Lastly, I would like to say a few words about my former co-star Dana Plato, who died over the weekend while I was writing this article. She was always the nicest person on the set to me, she usually didn't join in on the horrible pranks that they used to pull. Of course, she was usually passed out in her trailer, but I appreciated that she left me alone. I will miss her, and I think we should all learn something from this. If you are an ex-celebrity on VH1's "Where are they now?", it may be time to take a serious look at your life and how to better it. Peace out. Gary C. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The NZA Posted April 12, 2003 Author Share Posted April 12, 2003 Its back on people, so gimme a call. Thanks to Chrpnbrd & TopDawg, even if he did step on my cat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobitussinEF Posted April 12, 2003 Share Posted April 12, 2003 So many to choose from so little time Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The NZA Posted April 12, 2003 Author Share Posted April 12, 2003 Today's been a really pleasant day off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JunkerSeed Posted April 13, 2003 Share Posted April 13, 2003 she's not a girl who misses much.... doo doo doo doo doo doo.... oh yeah Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The NZA Posted April 13, 2003 Author Share Posted April 13, 2003 Battle Royale: not for the faint of heart :shoot: :stabbed: :rail: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MyLeakyBucket Posted April 13, 2003 Share Posted April 13, 2003 This is gonna sound crazy but i don't think the new Linkin Park single is too bad. Granted its the SOS but still, not too shabby. Rawwwwwwk :approve: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Take Me To Your Lizard Posted April 13, 2003 Share Posted April 13, 2003 I can recite the alphabet backwards. It's an odd skill, yes, but one that has gained me much respect and stature over the years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The NZA Posted April 13, 2003 Author Share Posted April 13, 2003 Work in an hour...or, as i like to think of it, "paid wank time". Gonna be sad to see this job go, the wages are awful but the job itself, i really dont mind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ganny McVagflaps Posted April 13, 2003 Share Posted April 13, 2003 So this guy comes over to the house to pick his kid up and he peeps the View Askew DVD's outta the corner of his eye and says "You like Kevin Smith, huh?". "Yeah", I say "He makes some good movies. The guy looks back at south park (which was playing on T.V.) and says to me "I met the guy a few times. He's a good kid". I'm intrigued. "Oh yeah?" The guy picks up Clerks from on top of the T.V. "Yeah, I work with his uncle. He lent Kev five grand to get this movie done" "Really?" I was thinking in the back of my head maybe I could arrange a meeting with the man himself, give him a few ideas for his next movie ("It's called 'PORNocchio'. Every time he lies his dork grows") but before I can continue the conversation the kid takes a fall and mills himself out of it. "Damn" Oh well, looks like PORNocchio's just a pipe dream... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The NZA Posted April 14, 2003 Author Share Posted April 14, 2003 I'm not catching any breaks lately, as far as the move & all...my poor decisions continue to punish me. This too shall pass. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ganny McVagflaps Posted April 14, 2003 Share Posted April 14, 2003 The Girl at the Video Store Before I start I will say this now - I never rent videos on a Friday night, I'm usually too busy being up to no good but this Friday I did. Ya see, I'm on vacation inna little one horse no bar town and there's two things but Jack and shit to do except watch movies and drink Red Stripes. Anyway, I go to the video store and browse around. Nothing really catches my eye. I see "Evil Dead 2" on the shelf and say decide to get it. Sure, I've seen it a hundred million times and I even have it on video, but that's back in Ireland and I ain't there anymore, Toto. So I get "Evil Dead 2" and then I spot "Rock n Roll High School" and pick that up too. I feel good. Two classic (okay maybe "Rock n Roll High School" ain't exactly a classic but hey, I love the Ramones) and make my way absent-mindedly up to the desk. When I got there I looked up and saw her. This girl was sooooo beautiful. The first thing that I noticed were her eyes. She had the biggest, brownest eyes I had ever seen, and boy am I a sucker for brown-eyed girls. I could feel myself getting red in the face as I handed over the movies. "Your name?" Wow! She wanted to know my name! Well okay maybe it was just for renting the video and fuck, the card isn't even under my name but hell any conversation with this girl'd make my heart skip a beat. "Viola" I said, as I tilted my head. Damn! I always do that.... "Just like the instrument", she says with the prettiest smile I'd ever seen. My face gets redder. "Uh..yeah" I smile hoping that she isn't looking at my Marlboro-stained teeth. "That'll be $8 please". Her voice is soooo nice I think to myself as I hand over the money, touching her hand and getting needles and pins all over my body. As I walked out the door she wished me a good night but I couldn't answer and made a run for it. I began making up scenarios in my head about how I could go back and initiate conversation of some type and convince her to hang out with me when she's finished work. 'Oh Yoko' blasted on my disc-man as I skipped up the road. Tonight I went back to drop in the movies and low and behold she was there. I walked up to the comedy videos and picked up "Heathers" and made my way to the desk. She was by the kid's D.V.D.s and she looked up at me as I went on what seemed like the longest walk of my life. Sure it was only a couple of feet but it seemed like it was forever. Then she looked again. "Is she checking me out?", I thought. I know she probably wasn't but I can dream, right? She walked behind the desk and I handed over "Rock n Roll High School" (alls I watched was the documentary on the "Evil Dead 2" D.V.D. so that was left back at the house) and the copy of "Heathers". "Name?", she asked once again. Damn it. I was going red once again. "Uhhh...Viola". "Oh, yeah I remember" she said and smiled. SHE REMEMBERED!! Now I was really turning red. I could see the glow in the window. A bead of sweat dropped down my arm-pit, but luckilly my hoodie took care of it. "Jesus this girl is great", I thought even though all I knew about her was how beautiful she looked. "There ya go", she said as she handed over 'Heathers'. "That'll be due back on Saturday before eleven". Once again I walked out of the video store, pressed play on my disc-man and what came on but "Oh Yoko". I skipped up the street as I did before and thought of all the things I wanted to say to this girl that I didn't even know. "If I wasn't so much of a damned pussy", I thought. In the back of my mind I was considering going back and saying something to her but I didn't. Maybe I will the next time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Yahve Posted April 14, 2003 Share Posted April 14, 2003 Paper, done. Brooohaaahaaaa. I am invincible ! No pens for joo Br Bond ! :shoot: Sleep? naaaaaahhhh i work in 4 hrs anyway. QUAKETIME ! :rail: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The NZA Posted April 14, 2003 Author Share Posted April 14, 2003 "Now honeys play me close, like butta play toast, from the mississippi, down to the east coast..." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MyLeakyBucket Posted April 14, 2003 Share Posted April 14, 2003 IC, where'd you get that cool "currently playing..." banner, I'm pretty damn jealous? Realised my signiture space is pretty dull. Might set it up as a Nirvana shrine or something. That'd be cool. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mulan Posted April 14, 2003 Share Posted April 14, 2003 Ahh...Spring break, what a concept! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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