The NZA Posted September 22, 2003 Share Posted September 22, 2003 As the new head admin guy, i decided (after stealing more ideas, this time from Brian Michael Bendis' board) to establish my role by making this vow: I will now answer any and all question in the universe. Ask away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobitussinEF Posted September 22, 2003 Share Posted September 22, 2003 LMAO oooh dear! Heres your first question! Why are guys so damn confusing?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The NZA Posted September 22, 2003 Author Share Posted September 22, 2003 An interesting opener. The answer is quite simple. While girls have specific regulations - 1/4 ounce sugar, 2 teaspoons of spice, some fish oil for the scent (dont lie), and such, males are rather unregulated. Snails, for one, hail from many different regions; puppy dog tails are inhumane unless you include the whole puppy, so now you have several hundred breeds of dogs, as well as mutts. And snips? There's surprisingly little government regulation on snips of what, so you can see the margin for error, and thusly, confusion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobitussinEF Posted September 22, 2003 Share Posted September 22, 2003 This is what i get for asking a guy.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The NZA Posted September 22, 2003 Author Share Posted September 22, 2003 Your lack of understanding is indicative of having too much sugar; perhaps your parents used the metric system during conception/design, its a common mistake. Nonetheless, thank you for participating, and i will be here for future questions, as i am bored. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobitussinEF Posted September 22, 2003 Share Posted September 22, 2003 So why is Vanilla Pepsi better than Vanilla Coke? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reverend Jax Posted September 22, 2003 Share Posted September 22, 2003 What's the real reason we went into Iraq? I've been dying to know for some time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ganny McVagflaps Posted September 23, 2003 Share Posted September 23, 2003 How come that hack Adrian Brody won the best actor Oscar in 2003, when Jack Nicholson (who gave one of his best performances ever) shoulda for "About Schmidt"? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The NZA Posted September 23, 2003 Author Share Posted September 23, 2003 Vanilla Pepsi (invented by Dr. Zhivago Pepsi in Bulgaria, circa 1903, where it remained throughout much of the Boer War), formerly a rude concocture of various exotic spices, including the blood of freshly slain virgin armadillos, is now manufactured inside a magical tree, currently under lawsuit from the Keebler elves for infrignement on structural design. Vanilla Coke, however, has only lessend in quality since its Austrian begginnings; due to the rise in ingredient price (directly related to the CIA's monopolization of the South American trade), its key ingredient, C17H21NO4 - the alkaloid known as cocaine, by Clapton fans - has been rule out in favor of its cheaper cousin, crack. Hence the terms "vanilla freebasing" or "on the corner slangin' vanilla". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The NZA Posted September 23, 2003 Author Share Posted September 23, 2003 Many believe the real reason for the Iraqi conflict was a family personal vendetta, oil interests, or a board room of evil cackling men who threw a dart & laughed when it hit Iraq again. The real reason is an interesting combination of all 3. Henry Kissinger, souless former Secretary of State, did, in fact, hit "Iraq" again during a drunken game of pin-the-tail-on-the-target illuminati party, though he was said to have beligerently argued with Newt Gingrich over whether it was Iraq, Iran, or that other country of angry brown people. Gingrich's agenda was a bit more sinsiter: the OHMSS had long since re-educated his clone, Muhammed Ahkbar Gingrinch, into a super-soldier/terrorist with leftover funding from the Libya excursion, and he was dying to prove which one of them actually had the original genetic material, a battle that would be solved in a fistfight over a minefield. No one knows which one survived, as no one really cares for either of them. Truth be told, Newt wasnt even invited to the party. The oil agenda - that of the rising Libertarian party - concerns the vast subterranean wells of vegetable oil found beneath the Euphrates river, not far from these middle east hotspots. It all ties in; Oliver Stone knew this, but couldnt find good actors for Newt & Henry, and thusly passed on the idea. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The NZA Posted September 23, 2003 Author Share Posted September 23, 2003 Truth be told, Nicholson did win for About Shmidt, only in an alternate timeline. Unfortunately, after winning, Nicholson's terrible reign of powre began, as the Academy was pressured to retroactively grant oscars for Jack's performances in "The Two Jakes", "Mars Attacks", and "The Witches of Eastwick", to name a few. Bad blood became worse, as DiCaprio started a hollywood insurgency, hellbent on revenge after failing both to score with the academy for "Titanic" as well as Kate Winslet, and with his newfound knowldege, Leo began fueling & leading small, dirty-but-charming ruffian gants throghout New York, erupting in a battle across the generations, as Jack was diagnosed with lycanthropy - all too late, as his pay-per-view standoff with Leo would cause him to wolf out and, sadly, eat the young actor on national TV, a feat previously only attempted by Rosie O' Donell. Not to be outdone by hollywood lessons learned, the vagabond Pauly Shore implemented his rudimentary understandings of quantum physics (which he picked up from "Bio-Dome" and "Encino Man") to create a psuedo-time machine, and after some shared cannibus, was able to convince key academy members in the nick of time that throwing the award was in the best interest of mankind, insofar as Leo went. Tragedy was averted, but not without a cost. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobitussinEF Posted September 23, 2003 Share Posted September 23, 2003 Why is Pancho gay? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The NZA Posted September 23, 2003 Author Share Posted September 23, 2003 La Pancho's latent homosexulaity stems back, oddly enough, to a traumatized childhood. His brother, Mikey Donut (known in some Mexican sects as "Mikey Delicous") used to beat the living tar out of him, and sometimes, was known to place large 80's transformers (the classic metal ones) in La Pancho's butt. Following rejection from some of Cutler Ridge's biggest whores - Erica Ruhle, Daisy, Jessica Childers - La Pancho, in a moment of weakness, fell back on his secret childhood joy and shared a non-consentual bootyhumping experience with Eli (known to some as "the human surprise"), and has been an ass pirate with a penchant for buggery ever since, though he will deny this upon reading this post. The truth hurts, but not as much as Megatron did. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobitussinEF Posted September 23, 2003 Share Posted September 23, 2003 Why cant my life be drama free? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reverend Jax Posted September 23, 2003 Share Posted September 23, 2003 What up with those few times when you'll take a shit, grab the toilet paper to wipe, and the toilet paper is clean? You look over, and there's shit in the bowl and you wipe over and over again and there's nothign on your toilet paper. It's only happen to me like twice in my life, but I've talked to other people, it's happen to others besides me. Does the shit actually come out clean? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ganny McVagflaps Posted September 23, 2003 Share Posted September 23, 2003 City Slickers 2: The Legend of Curly's Gold - discuss. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The NZA Posted September 24, 2003 Author Share Posted September 24, 2003 Because there is a certain amount of drama to be dealt with in the universe, and its a delicate balance. Ever since Mary J. Blige (and recently, Method Man) decided to drop their drama duties, average joe's like yourself are having to pick up the slack. Blame the hip-hop community. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The NZA Posted September 24, 2003 Author Share Posted September 24, 2003 These "phantom shits" (or "clean poopy" "as termed by the Pysician's Desk Reference) stem from over-efficency, as well as hypertime. While charmin & its knockoffs have, since the cold war, perfected the art of bootywiping, a side effect (present since their altering the space-time continum) is that they, through random wormholes in time, preemptively wipe for the next batch. Have you ever taken a much smaller shit, and had way too much to wipe? This is the case. Think of it like deja vu in the matrix, only with poop. *UPDATE: some cultures call this a "white glover", and consider it a good omen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The NZA Posted September 24, 2003 Author Share Posted September 24, 2003 This request is entirely unfair; as any cinema-fan will tell you, one could honestly go on endlessly on how City Slickers 2 (and the legend it inspired) affected the way we watch movies, the way we experience them - it's a visual art - in ways Citizen Kane could only have hoped to achieve, a mistake often made by the layman. I would remind you, before splurting back a review, that this thread is for specific questions, and hopefully in the future, less broad topics, such as existentialism, rather than the paradign that was Curly's Gold. Myself, when i think of the movie, i think...the second part of City Slickers begins after the death of Curly. It is the 40th birthday of Mitch Robbins and the day begins quite good until he returns home (after a hard day at the radio station) and finds his brother Glen, the black sheep of the family, in his sofa. Nevertheless he is about to have a wonderful birthday-night with his wife when he discovers a treasure map of Curly by chance. Together with Phil (from the first part) and unfortunately with Glen he tries to find the hidden gold of Curly's father in the desert of Arizona instead of attending a meeting in Las Vegas. The adventurous journey reveals many surprises until everything seems to be over when the map gets lost... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ganny McVagflaps Posted September 24, 2003 Share Posted September 24, 2003 1) Do you know where you're going to? 2) Do you like the things that life is showing you? 3) Where are you going to, do you know? 4) Do you get what you're hoping for when you look behind there's no open doors? 5) What are you hoping for, do you know? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The NZA Posted September 24, 2003 Author Share Posted September 24, 2003 1) Yes. I'm going to the shower after this; i kind of smell. 2) Yes, so far. Except the messy things, but theyre not so bad either. ...life should show me more boobies. 3) Didn't i just say the shower? Ok, fine. I'm gonna get some gatorade, possibly read a comic, but then its shower time, seriously. 4) That, sir, is a run-on sentence. I often get what im hoping for, eventually. If i look behind me and there's open doors, and theyre my doors, i often close them. Nothing against my neighbors - ok, i dont really trust them, they stole a package - but did you know famous cowboy John Wesley Hardin played poker one time with his back to the doors, and he got shot? That sucks. One freakin time. 5) I'm hoping whatver comic i have in my inbox doesnt suck, then im hoping the water in the shower stays warm for a while, then finally im hoping there's somethin decent to eat in the fridge. now lives here, so im doubtful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dinghy Posted September 24, 2003 Share Posted September 24, 2003 How come 2 Track doesn't like Adrien Broody? Did you see him on Saturday night live(he was pretty cool)? Nick, why is there hatin on Adrien Broody? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The NZA Posted September 24, 2003 Author Share Posted September 24, 2003 Sadly, SNL exposure does little for the hateration of today's soceity. Bob Dole appeared on SNL, and still lost the election; Britney Spears did a fun self-pardoy, and she still sucks. Christopher Walken was a blast, but he's still kinda spooky. Cool, but spooky. 2Track, for instance, like Led Zeppelin, has "A whole lotta love", but that love is still a finite amount. When you take into account Rob Liefeld, Sisqo & Samuel Powers...the well runs a bit dry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigChiefSlapaho Posted September 24, 2003 Share Posted September 24, 2003 Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The NZA Posted September 24, 2003 Author Share Posted September 24, 2003 The level of iron in my blood affects polarity, and often attracts diarrhetic birds to me, or specificially, my truck. In addition to this, just like me, they long to be....close to.. me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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