The NZA Posted September 30, 2003 Author Share Posted September 30, 2003 1) You must remember, the hot dog industry is one of pig intestines & ass-parts, and they know their market. Knowing full well that theyve lost both the jews & the muslims, theyre left with the middle americans who dont mind phallic symbols for meals, and then only the unhealthy ones (the rest have bananas). So, to get by with the smaller numbers, theyre counting on rudimentary math skills. The plan, originally designed by Louis Von Mayer in Nineteen aught three, was that the educated piggy ass consumer would purchase 60 hot dogs & buns in one fell swoop, jump-starting the junk food economy. Though this plan clearly needs revision, Louis' descendant, the legendary Oscar (a part-time grouch) is sticking to his guns. Many tried to talk him into this newfangled corndog market, but Oscar wont have any of that. 2) First off, the cheese smells funny. Then, though they have great wines & vodkas (such as Grey Goose, now on the loose), this often causes them to vommit back up the cheese, which smells no better when partially digested. This is in combination to the distinct "non-bathing smell", often found in the south. 3) Are you familiar with classic chaos theory? There are far too many factors involved here: cellulite vs ba-doonk-a-dunk, fatty velocity, LL's famous "jigglin', baby" facor, etc. The layman has much room for error, espeically on the dance floor..best to leave this to the professionals, like Busta Bust. Or George Clinton. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ganny McVagflaps Posted September 30, 2003 Share Posted September 30, 2003 What happened to Ugly Kid Joe? They were badass.....well, when I was 10.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The NZA Posted September 30, 2003 Author Share Posted September 30, 2003 They unfortunately faded away into obscurity; not due to lack of talent, but simply because they hate everything about you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Signal08 Posted October 1, 2003 Share Posted October 1, 2003 1) why is it that women get so pissed off if they catch their man 'taking a peek' at another woman? 2) why do the craziest, smallest old grannys drive the biggest fucking excursions and one-van-seats-50 kinda rides? 3) what is up with parents resorting to the police to handle their family problems anymore? If your kid steps outta line...knock them the fuck back in line... and for a 4th) what comes to mind when you hear... 'gouda' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ganny McVagflaps Posted October 1, 2003 Share Posted October 1, 2003 1) Ever consider quoting the questions before ya answer them? It's a bitch having to flick back to see what the questions to the answers were...that sounded weird..almost Jeopardy-esque 2) Have you watched a whole episode of "The Newlyweds" on MTV? Tell the truth now! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The NZA Posted October 1, 2003 Author Share Posted October 1, 2003 1) why is it that women get so pissed off if they catch their man 'taking a peek' at another woman? Modern biology is finding that the doulbe X chromosome has links to a mutant X-factor; only, no cool powers. It seems that the natural, darwinian beacon within the jaiknee (discovered by Dr. Rio earlier this year) causes a reaction which ends in the irritation of ovaries, manifesting in bitchyness, or "getting pissed off". Many find a gentle smack across the mouf causes relief of this condition. That, and some of them are lesbians, faking a front. why do the craziest, smallest old grannys drive the biggest fucking excursions and one-van-seats-50 kinda rides? One would do well to remember that the horse-drawn carriages of the colonial days of yore were often of a much larger size. The lack of fuel efficency & constant dumping (though this comes from the exhaust in modern times) reminds the decrepit of their glory days. It's also worth noting that extreme bingo requires a large number of funny-smelling women of blue hair, like a ghereatric twister, if you will. And i think you will. what is up with parents resorting to the police to handle their family problems anymore? If your kid steps outta line...knock them the fuck back in line... I'm not entirely certain that's a question, but thank you for reminding me of the cage, and billy the woompin' stick. :beat: what comes to mind when you hear... 'gouda' I just scratched what i thought was a zit off my chest, but i fear it may have been a vestigial nipple. The wound is clotting, but its rather "gouda-like". That term may be a victim of the times. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The NZA Posted October 1, 2003 Author Share Posted October 1, 2003 Ever consider quoting the questions before ya answer them? It's a bitch having to flick back to see what the questions to the answers were...that sounded weird..almost Jeopardy-esque Good sir, not only have i considered it, but Ive now officially bitten your idea, and given it no more credit than i did the origin of this thread. My hat's off to you, which is easy, for i do not wear hats. Have you watched a whole episode of "The Newlyweds" on MTV? Tell the truth now! Despite omniscience, i am devoid of cable. So no, but am I missing anything? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobitussinEF Posted October 1, 2003 Share Posted October 1, 2003 Why does the right decision sometimes feel like the wrong decision? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heartlessbitch Posted October 1, 2003 Share Posted October 1, 2003 Why do i miss Nick Nick so much? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobitussinEF Posted October 1, 2003 Share Posted October 1, 2003 Why do i miss Nick Nick so much? awwwwwwwwww ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TulipO Posted October 1, 2003 Share Posted October 1, 2003 Why do cats always have to sit directly on something you're reading? If you tickle some one who's in a coma, do you think they're really squirming, but just can't do anything about it? If so, should I stop? If I didn't stop, could they like have an aneurism or something? Do I HAVE to stop? What if you stabbed them in an area that would cause no serious damage, but under normal circumsyances would hurt a whole lot? Am I really the seed of all evil? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soldier of fortune Posted October 1, 2003 Share Posted October 1, 2003 Why is no one dropping by "Taps of Life" or "The Bar Formally Known As Hondos" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reverend Jax Posted October 2, 2003 Share Posted October 2, 2003 1) Do human children taste more like chicken (since according to common belief, everything tastes like chicken), or like veal (since they are the young of a fatty red meat animal)? 2) If John Lennon was alive today, what would be his favorite contempory band? 3) If you could have the abilty to change to any one animal (and back to human) at will, which animal would chose? And don't say 'a horse' you big horse dork! 4) Why don't The Kinks get more credit for being one of the greatest bands of all time? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The NZA Posted October 2, 2003 Author Share Posted October 2, 2003 Why does the right decision sometimes feel like the wrong decision? This feeling generally occurs on opposite day, which is supposed to happen every 3rd day or so, but being opposite day, it could very well be every six days, or maybe 2, if youre poor with math. Taking daylight savings, different time zones, channakuh and leap year into account, truth be told, any given day could be opposite day; which is, to say, it could not be opposite day. Oh, and dont bother looking to these newfangled scientists for help here. Sure, they can keep promising flying cars and robot whores, but we dont even know when Opposite Day is (or isnt)! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The NZA Posted October 2, 2003 Author Share Posted October 2, 2003 Why do i miss Nick Nick so much? That's most likely due to the fact that...and try to understand, try to understand; try, try, try to understaaaand...I'm a magic man, mama. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The NZA Posted October 2, 2003 Author Share Posted October 2, 2003 Why do cats always have to sit directly on something you're reading? 1) Some would say cats are attention ho's, but truth be told, this is simply coinicidence. Think of how much lounging your cat does, per day. There is probably scarcely a corner of your home that his/her/its butt has not graced. Statistically, when you take all of this laziness into account (its not like they have jobs, or even fetch things like good, blue-blooded dogs), the chances of them manifesting directly on your copy of "The Story of You-know-who" arent so abysmally low. If you tickle some one who's in a coma, do you think they're really squirming, but just can't do anything about it? Fact: Theyre squirming, but that's because they cannot consciously plead/demand a blowjob, which we all know is what follows tickling. I'm assuming you meant the crotch-region. If so, should I stop? All's im saying is...don't rub the bottle if you don't want the genie coming out. If I didn't stop, could they like have an aneurism or something? Aneurysms are caused by dialation of blood vessels the weakens blood vessel walls. Effective handjobs - though they can make you lightheaded (no pun) as about 60% of your body's blood at any given time is right around that femoral artery - cannot kill you. And if they can, there's far, far worse ways to go, like all the ones that arent a result of hanjabba. If so, should I stop? Good god no. This could be that patient's highlight. Have you seen the candystripers and RN's at most county hospitals? Jesus, your public service is doing far more than the Make-A-Wish foundation could ever achieve. Do I HAVE to stop? Some communists propogated this horrible idea that you should at the point of jaw numbness or gag reflex, which are both horrible, anti-american lies left over from the cold war. Assuming you're still staying with your softcore ways of hanjabba (what a great word, its like its a recognized art now), remember that carpal tunnel cannot kill you, either. It can only make you stronger, and therefore more efficient. What if you stabbed them in an area that would cause no serious damage, but under normal circumsyances would hurt a whole lot? Continuing from your previously stated obvious innuendo to this train of thought...you, ma'am, are a horrible, horrible person. That area was only meant to be treated nicely. :dissappointed: Am I really the seed of all evil? Early on, I was beginning to think you might be the next mother theresea; after that last comment...no, not the seed, but you may very well be a branch of it, or at least a leaf, for harboring such attrocious ideas. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The NZA Posted October 2, 2003 Author Share Posted October 2, 2003 Why is no one dropping by "Taps of Life" or "The Bar Formally Known As Hondos" A lack of ing may be the cause. Let's look closely: 1) Your primary bar has no name. 2) Your other bartender, KOS (also known as "Knowledge of Self" after some philosophizing), may very well have been devoured by rabid chinchillas, if theyre indigenous. 3) Eeyore's pimping is full of good intentions, but actually leads to the now-defunct DrunkenDeities board. 4) There's been no porn since our reopening. No porn! None! 5) Your place is now a bar-within-a-bar, which is odd...personally, id go with a pub, but it nees more drinking games, social functions, meetups and such...be ambitious man, its your place! Just some ideas. Ive nowhere near 2Track's P-I-M-P skilles (i dont know what you heard about him, but bitches caint get a dollar outta him); im like the Snoop Dogg to his Huggy Bear. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The NZA Posted October 2, 2003 Author Share Posted October 2, 2003 Do human children taste more like chicken (since according to common belief, everything tastes like chicken), or like veal (since they are the young of a fatty red meat animal)? 1) Most of them actually taste like Swanson TV dinners (the chicken nugget ones) and dirt. The fat ones taste mildly of peanut butter M&M's. If John Lennon was alive today, what would be his favorite contempory band? Oasis....he was kinda egotistical. If you could have the abilty to change to any one animal (and back to human) at will, which animal would chose? And don't say 'a horse' you big horse dork! Foiled again! I guess a bird's a default, to fly, but then you get shot or eaten or somethin (and its not like youre gonna transmogrify back into a human in mid air). Me, id go for a wolf, that'd be somethin right there. Yeah, yeah, wanky totem affinity & alla that, but id dig it. Why don't The Kinks get more credit for being one of the greatest bands of all time? Part of your answer may lie in the fact that, despite my recent omniscience, even ive never heard of 'em. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ganny McVagflaps Posted October 2, 2003 Share Posted October 2, 2003 1) Since Harry Potter ages in every book, will he soon be drinking alco-pops, experimenting with drugs and trying to bed that fox Hermoine? 2) If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me? 3) Does any other video game go as good with pot as Mario Cart on the SNES does? 4) Dude, where's my Spongebob? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobitussinEF Posted October 2, 2003 Share Posted October 2, 2003 If someone told you "i heard you ate your cake, now you dont have it anymore"....what do they mean. (and im not refering to a real piece of cake) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The NZA Posted October 2, 2003 Author Share Posted October 2, 2003 Since Harry Potter ages in every book, will he soon be drinking alco-pops, experimenting with drugs and trying to bed that fox Hermoine? Next book: a big yes on the alco-pops; future not so bright on the heterosexuality front. If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me? Yes, but only 'cause i bet you say that to all the boys. Does any other video game go as good with pot as Mario Cart on the SNES does? Hmm...let's break this down by system, recommended games + respective drugs. Atari - Q-bert + quaaludes Sega Master System - Fantasy Zone + paint NES - Holy shit, take your pick, man, just have some codeine on hand. SNES - Also try: StarFox + black tar heroin Dreamcast - Space Channel 5 + X + a lil bit o' me Playstation - Any Parappa the Rapper + LSD (kick, punch, its all in the mind) Gamecube - I personally like Mario Party while good & drunk. Do not, however, try N64 - Goldeneye + Angel Dust, cause god knows someone'll turn proximity mines on and before you know it, youre Hulking out and there's cops. Dude, where's my Spongebob? For the last time, no actual charges have been pressed, so as per my lawyer Vinny's wishes, i will not be addressing this unfounded rumors that I shot Spongey in Reno, just to watch him die. Thank you and good-day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The NZA Posted October 2, 2003 Author Share Posted October 2, 2003 If someone told you "i heard you ate your cake, now you dont have it anymore"....what do they mean. (and im not refering to a real piece of cake) This is the sort of classist remark Gandhi died trying to combat; this individual is clearly trying to say you're physically eating your money (or your cheddah, if you prefer), and you should punch them right in the mouf. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TulipO Posted October 2, 2003 Share Posted October 2, 2003 1) What are you gonna be for Halloween? 2) Why did the chicken cross the road? 3) Would you like some huevos rancherso? 4) If most of us were wind up toys, could we trust those of us who weren't to wind us up when necessary? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The NZA Posted October 2, 2003 Author Share Posted October 2, 2003 1) What are you gonna be for Halloween? The same thing I am every year..that guy that eggs you & your neighbor's houses, even tho im way too old to be doin that. I'm not very imaginative on that day, sadly. Why did the chicken cross the road? Truth be told, chickens are kinda fast, but dumb, and sadly, filled with a tasty, bread-like substance. Oncoming vehicles are the least of their troubles. Besides, they usually exist in backward 3rd world, roadless countries, like Guyana. According to Chicken Run, though, its so they dont end up in delcious pot pies. Would you like some huevos rancherso? If theyre country eggs, i say why the hell not. If theyre country nuts, thanks but im good. If most of us were wind up toys, could we trust those of us who weren't to wind us up when necessary? I cant even trust "those of us" to let me get a lane over in the freeway without using my F-1 as "might makes right". Without the fear bodily harm and/or raised insurance rates, i fear the have-nots would not only fail to wind us, but may very well take advantage of our paralysis by touching us in our bathing suit areas. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reverend Jax Posted October 2, 2003 Share Posted October 2, 2003 If John Lennon was alive today, what would be his favorite contempory band? Oasis....he was kinda egotistical. 1) Does considering Oasis a contempory band make you old? Why don't The Kinks get more credit for being one of the greatest bands of all time? Part of your answer may lie in the fact that, despite my recent omniscience, even ive never heard of 'em. 2) Does me getting angry that you've never heard of the Kinks make me old? 3) Seriously, you've never heard of the Kinks? Lola? You Really Got Me? All Day And All Of The Night? Destroyer? Everybody's Gonna Be Happy? Tired Of Waiting? A Well Respected Man? A Dedicated Follower Of Fashion? Coem Dancing? Apeman? Celluloid Heroes? Are none fo those ringing a bell for you? 4) What's the single most important aspect in a girlfriend, whether she swallows or if she gives anal? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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