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2track Presents


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Ever had a need for a sequel, but never knew how it would go? Have you ever waited for someone to make that sequel? Well look no further, 'cause Mr. 2track will make all your dreams a reality. Heck, maybe a sequel was made and it was pretty shitty - have no fear 2track'll make it better. Alls you have to do is play God....Jerry Bruckheimer God.....

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Forest Gump 2....go.

 

INT. FORREST GUMP'S HOUSE, DAY

FORREST SITS AT HIS KITCHEN TABLE LOOKING OUT THE WINDOW WAITING FOR HIS SON, JUNIOR TO RETURN FROM SCHOOL.

 

FORREST (V.O.):

My momma used to always say 'stupid is as stupid does', now I may have loved my momma but by God after years of listening to shit like that a honkey can get all sortsa pissed off. Who was she to say I'm stupid? So I decided to prove that nasty cum-slut wrong.

 

FORREST STANDS UP AND WALKS INTO THE LIVING ROOM. OVER THE FIRE PLACE IS A PHOTO OF FORREST AND LT. DAN. HE PICKS UP THE PHOTO.

 

FORREST (V.O.):

So one day I decided to myself I was gonna do something worth a damn and if there was one person who could help me Lt. Dan was the man. He had all these computers and stuff, so I decided that I wanted to get involved in that, make me some of that big money.

 

FORREST PUTS DOWN THE PHOTO AND SMILES.

 

FORREST (V.O.):

I remember as clear as they day how it happened...

 

INT. LT. DAN'S OFFICE, NIGHT.

LT. DAN SITS DOWN, HIS FAKE LEGS HANGING ON THE WALL BEHIND HIM AS HE POURS A YOOHOO FOR FORREST.

 

LT. DAN:

Okay Forrest so what's this all about I don't have all night. That Vietnamese hubby of mine gets all pissy if she doesn't get her nightly bukkake by eleven thirty every night.

 

FORREST:

Hubby?

 

LT. DAN:

Say what?

 

FORREST:

Hubby...you said Vietnamese hubby, but what you got is a wife. I'm confused Lt. Dan, like that time the white stuff came out've my man-part.

 

LT. DAN:

Oh, fuck....I did didn't I....Y'know, you being thick as a brick I never figured you'd be the one t'find out about this...

 

FORREST:

About what Lt. Dan?

 

LT. DAN:

Well, my wife...she isn't Vietnamese at all. I just started that 'cause the papers'd eat it up, I mean Vietnam vet hooks up with native..great sub-plot for when the papers write about Apple. The truth is I met her...well, him in Bancok. At first I didn't know but then after I sampled that sweet man-ass I was hooked, like a junkie jonesin' for a fix. It was just so tight, like when ya put the lid of the toilet seat down and fuck that, just that kinda shit...and so what - nobody knows and nobody's gonna know.

 

FORREST:

Unless I tell.

 

LT. DAN:

What the fuck unless you tell? And anyway who cares? Bill Gates has been importing Bancok chicky boys for years!

 

FORREST:

I don't care about Bill Gates, it's you I want. Your house, your car, your life.....well except for the she-male, the rest I'll take if you don't give me half of what you make.

 

LT. DAN:

But...but I need that half to keep me in scotch and Depends'® Adult Diapers!

 

FORREST:

Okay, then how about this, you give me a slice of your computer pie, or I tell the press.

 

LT. DAN:

But you know nothing about computers..!

 

FORREST:

But I know what I like.

 

LT. DAN:

I'm not following you...

 

FORREST:

I like titties. Big titties, little titties, black titties, white titties...all sortsa titties.

 

LT. DAN:

Okay...

 

FORREST:

And so do alot of people. So what I wanna do is put titties on this internet thing you fellas are starting.

 

LT. DAN:

But the internet isn't for titties - it's for telling up to the minute news, bitching about stuff and playing RPGs with nerdy kids in Idaho...

 

FORREST:

I said I want fucking titties! Now are you gonna hook me up or not cum-rag?

 

LT. DAN HANGS HIS HEAD.

 

LT. DAN:

I guess so....

 

EXT. FORREST GUMP'S GARDEN, DAY

FORREST LEANS ON HIS WHITE PICKET FENCE WAITING FOR THE SCHOOL BUS.

 

FORREST (V.O.):

So that's how I made all my money. I just didn't know how much putting titties on that there internet would make me...

 

THE CAMERA PULLS AWAY TO SHOW A DELOREAN NEXT TO A HAYSTACK AND SIEGFRIED AND ROY PLAYING A MAGIC SHOW TO A CONFUSED RAM.

 

FORREST (V.O.):

But most of all, I wish that Jenny was here to share in the money that I made.

 

THE SCHOOL BUS PULLS UP.

 

FORREST (V.O.)

But then again, seeing it was the videos I found of her fuckig all those guys that made me the money maybe she woulda just kept me down, maybe even took me for royalties.

 

THE BUS PARKS AND FORREST GUMP JUNIOR RUNS OUT AND INTO HIS FATHERS ARMS.

 

FORREST:

Either way I made an ass load of money offa Jenny and the filthy nasal-sex videos she left behind...

 

JUNIOR:

What'd you say Dad?

 

FORREST:

What?

 

JUNIOR:

You said something dad.

 

FORREST:

Did I forget to voice over.....?

 

JUNIOR:

Was momma a nasty whore, poppa?

 

FORREST SITS JUNIOR DOWN.

 

FORREST:

Son, I gotta tell you a story...

 

THE CAMERA PULLS BACK SLOWLY AS FORREST TELLS HIS STORY UNTIL HE AND JUNIOR ARE OUT OF SIGHT AND THEN IT FADES TO BLACK.

 

FORREST:

Your momma used to always tell me 'analingus is as analingus does'.....

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That took a loooooong time....

 

So here's the thing, I dunno if ya'll want me to do more. I will do the more as soon as I can (the people of Hondo's must speak to tell me if I should, I couldn't think of any funny stuff there, maybe someone else found it so) but if it does continue I won't take anymore sequel requests until I'm done with the ones I have now.

 

So should I keep going? I dunno...I will if ya'll think it's funny, but if yis didn't dig "Gump" I won't.

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Not a dry eye in the house I'm sure. Who knew that Forrest was a porn fiend?

 

LT. DAN:

But the internet isn't for titties - it's for telling up to the minute news, bitching about stuff and playing RPGs with nerdy kids in Idaho...

 

FORREST:

I said I want fucking titties! Now are you gonna hook me up or not cum-rag?

 

Heh :D

 

 

You gotta keep going 2T, that was frikkin' great.

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I want to see The Burbs 2

 

INT. RAY PETERSON’S BEDROOM, MORNING.

THE CLOCK RADIO IN RAY’S ROOM HITS 8.30 AND BEGINS TO BEEP. THE RADIO BLASTS OUT “BAD BOY FOR LIFE” BY P DIDDY AND THE BAD BOY FAMILY. RAY ROLLS AROUND IN HIS BED, HIS EYES CLOSED TRYING TO FIND THE SLEEP BUTTON SO HE CAN TURN IT OFF. HE REACHES FOR THE RADIO AT THE RIGHT HAND SIDE OF THE BED, THEN THE LEFT HAND SIDE. WHEN REACHING FOR THE LEFT HE FALLS OUT OF THE BED, THEN JUMPS UP SUDDENLY SPOTTING THE CLOCK RADIO ACROSS THE ROOM.

 

RAY:

Cunting fucking radio…

 

RAY WALKS OVER TO THE RADIO AND SLAMS HIS FIST ON THE SLEEP BUTTON. THE TIME FLASHES BUT THE MUSIC DOESN’T STOP.

 

RAY:

What the…

 

RAY WALKS OVER TO THE WINDOW AND PULLS THE CURTIANS. HE IS IN SHOCK.

 

RAY:

Cuminasock!

 

EXT. RAY’S STREET, MORNING.

P DIDDY AND HIS BAD BOY FAMILY RIDE A FLOAT DOWN THE STREET PERFORMING “BAD BOY FOR LIFE”.

 

RAY:

My God…it’s happening again…first it was cannibals they let move into this neighborhood, but this…this has gone too far..I mean African Americans?!

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  • 5 months later...

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far, away...

 

STAR WARS

EPISODE VII: A NEW HYPE

It is a period of....well nothing much at all. Rebel spaceships lay dormant gathering dust, most fighters from the great Star Wars are unemployed. Many have flashbacks and all are drunk. No death sticks however. They're just plain wrong. Bad for your balls.

 

 

INT. BIYONALS VIDVIEW STORE

LANDO AND LUKE WALK THE STORE LOOKING FOR SOMETHING TO WATCH. LUKE PICKS UP A COPY OF "FINDING NEVERLAND".

 

LUKE:

Hey Lando, how about this one?

 

LANDO:

Lemme see what that is.

 

LANDO SNATCHES THE VIDEO OFF OF LUKE.

 

LANDO:

Finding Neverland...Finding motherfucking Neverland..what the fuck is this shit. Finding Neverland my ass. Yo, gimme somethin' with Seagal in it. "On Deadly Ground" or something. That's entertaining shit not this Finding Neverland bull.

 

LUKE:

But Lando I kinda want to see this one. It's a true story.

 

LANDO:

True story, huh? Well I do likes me some true stories. Wuzzit about?

 

LUKE:

It's the story of the guy who wrote Peter Pan.

 

LANDO:

Motherfucker, why the fuck do I wanna see some Green fairy bullshit? You ain't going queer on me are you boy? I ain't never seen you with a woman and I've known you for years...

 

LUKE:

I kissed Leah twice.

 

LANDO:

What the fuck? You kissed Leah twice?

 

LUKE:

Cool, huh? Kissing a princess.

 

LANDO:

Yeah, and a fine ass one at that. Thing is that bitch is your sister. You one warped motherfucker. You bang that bitch?

 

LUKE:

Thankfully not...

 

LANDO:

Damn straight thankfully not. Shit, you'd end up having some kinda fucked up Dagobah baby......she suck yo' dick?

 

LUKE:

No.

 

LANDO:

You feel her titties?

 

LUKE:

No.

 

LANDO:

She touch your dick?

 

LUKE:

Well, yeah once...kinda...

 

LANDO:

Kinda, what sort've shit is that 'kinda'? Either she touched your dick or she didn't. There ain't no in between.

 

LUKE:

Well it's kind've a long story.

 

LANDO:

Motherfucker, alls I got is time. Tell me your story.

 

LUKE:

Promise not to think bad of me?

 

LANDO:

Hells no. I don't care, it's not like you knew who she was. I ain't telling nobody.

 

LUKE:

Okay..well after we saved her from Darth Vader we were in the Millennium Falcon. Han and Chewie were up front, Threepio and Artoo were shut down and Leah was asleep. Anyway, I just couldn't stop thinking about the kiss and even though I was upset that Ben got killed that day I just couldn't kill my erection. I mean, that girl was hot and she kissed me. My dick was so hard it hurt. You ever get that? So, I put my hand down my pants and started pulling my cock and looking at Leah. I don't know what I was thinking but soon I was standing over her, beating it harder and harder, hell I even slapped her in the face a few times, touched her titties with it then I...well...I 'kakked her.

 

BEAT

 

LANDO:

You...'kakked her...

 

LUKE:

Yeah.

 

LANDO:

And she didn't notice?

 

LUKE:

Well I wiped it off. It was only a little bit anyway, you know how hard it is to squeeze one out in hyperspace.

 

LANDO:

That's fucked up man.

 

LUKE:

I knew you'd think less of me...

 

LANDO:

Damn right I think less of you.

 

LUKE:

Then I guess I should keep my mouth shut about the other times that...

 

LANDO:

You better dummy up. Damn...I don't know what to say..

 

LUKE:

So can we get the movie?

 

LANDO:

Whatever the fuck you want...I'm all good. I don't even know if want to be in the same room as you.

 

LUKE:

Lando, come on..it was a long time ago. Anyways any thoughts of perversions will dissolve when we watch this flick. I mean it's about a man child that shares fantasies with young boys....

 

LANDO:

That Peter Pan nigga does what?!

 

LUKE:

He's not a...uhm..that word...he's white..

 

LANDO:

What the fuck that 'sposed to mean boy? You fucking with me and I don't like to be fucked with. You tryna say that only African-space people are niggas?

 

LUKE:

Well, yeah I guess I mean...

 

LANDO:

Oh I'mah gonna woop your ass boy. You fucking crackers been fucking with our people for too long. How many black folk you see in the last few years? Used to be there was loads. And Hispanics too. Back before Palpatine and your daddy took over there was minorities galore. Since you started your campaign I'm the only black guy I know. Hell, there more Ewoks than folk. Them rebel pilots, you see a brother...hells no.

 

LUKE:

I'm sorry...I'm sorry. Let's just get our movie and go.

 

LUKE PICKS UP A FILM

 

LUKE:

Look, how about this?

 

LANDO:

Girls Gone Wild: Corusant Spring Break...I like the sounds of that

 

LUKE:

Me too Lando...me too...

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  • 9 months later...

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