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ASK JESS ANYTHING


Jesi
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Yes, my friends, it's time I jump on this bandwagon. Rachel & Friends with their zany questions for DJ have inspired me to join the madness. I will answer any question from you as honestly and completely as I can and if I can't, I promise to at least keep it entertaining.

 

So go on, ask away. :D:D

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Jess, why are you trying to take love away from Superman Red? Are you a part of the HC conspiracy that wants to see Superman Red end his days in a kiddie-pool face down with rectal bleeding & web-toed children poking his bloated corpse with twizzlers they found in their dog's bed?

 

And what unique perspective do you think you can offer, making your advise more viable than anyone else's?

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Just some warmups while I think of something awesome to ask, lol.

 

when your vagina BLEEDS, do you wanna smash faces in?

 

When said Vagina Bleeds, would you ever consider catching the blood into a cup, and then tricking a vampire into drinking it?

 

if you could bleed over any celeb with your menstural blood, who would it be?

 

 

.... these look familiar? haha

 

I"ll think of something else soon.

 

disclaimer:

The mention of menstrual blood/bleeding has nothing to do with the author of these questions nor the person who answers them. These are mere comedic GIRLY questions that a certain SiBob cannot answer. Fin

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should i start my own 'answer lose--i mean, hondo's members, questions thread' cause clearly it's the hot shite to do?

 

or would that be like seeing 10 girls with uggs and miniskirts in one day?...

 

cause that would be horrid.

 

also, if said 10 girls lined up, would you use them for target practice?  or would you offer nicely to drive them home, and have the driver drive into a lake?

 

and if you had to eat an insect, which one would it be?

 

First off, if you want to start your own ask-me thread, you go right ahead and do it. Why should the men be allowed to continue to dominate the ask-me market, huh? Stand up for your rights, girl, start your own thread!

 

Seeing ten girls in miniskirts and uggs would be a terrible waste of girls in miniskirts. I don't know what the obsession with those stupid looking boots is. They look like shite in a shoe form! And girls wear them in the middle of mother fucking summer! Can you imagine how badly their feet stink? My theory is this, girls: Save the money you're gonna spend on that god-awful fashion dud and buy yourself something useful - a shorter miniskirt, perhaps?

:D

 

Seriously though. If those ten girls lined up in front of me I wouldn't use them as target practice or drive them into a lake... I'd simply sit back and laugh at them with their sore, hot, smelly feet and tell them if they'd have passed up the shoes they might have enough money for a trip to the podiatrist.

 

Oh yes, and if I had to eat an insect I hear ants are sweet and mildly crunchy when prepared right.

Edited by Rubys Angel
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Jess, why are you trying to take love away from Superman Red? Are you a part of the HC conspiracy that wants to see Superman Red end his days in a kiddie-pool face down with rectal bleeding & web-toed children poking his bloated corpse with twizzlers they found in their dog's bed?

 

And what unique perspective do you think you can offer, making your advise more viable than anyone else's?

 

I'm not trying to take away love from Superman Red - It was that bastard Blue! HE's the one behind the HC conspiracy, I tell you!

 

I can offer plenty of fresh, unique perspective on many subjects. I like to think I give good advice, and even when it's not that good, I know how to wing it and make it SOUND good. Here's a good bit of advice right now: Don't start your own ask-me thread, it just gets ridiculous.

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Just some warmups while I think of something awesome to ask, lol.

 

when your vagina BLEEDS,  do you wanna smash faces in?

 

When said Vagina Bleeds, would you ever consider catching the blood into a cup, and then tricking a vampire into drinking it?

 

if you could bleed over any celeb with your menstural blood, who would it be?

 

 

1) Not all, just some. Ok, most. Several. Let's just say it's not a good time to be anything but considerate around me. Especially while I'm driving. Because if you do like that motherfucker that ran me off the road today, I'm more than likely to run you down and do things to you that will render you useless in all practical means.

 

2) ...Uh, no. For two reasons - One, I don't really pay THAT much attention to what goes on down there during that time of the month, and two, I don't know any vampires.

 

3) I hear Angie Jolie is into that freaky shit, maybe she'd be a good candidate.

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I'm not trying to take away love from Superman Red - It was that bastard Blue! HE's the one behind the HC conspiracy, I tell you!

 

I can offer plenty of fresh, unique perspective on many subjects.  I like to think I give good advice, and even when it's not that good, I know how to wing it and make it SOUND good.  Here's a good bit of advice right now: Don't start your own ask-me thread, it just gets ridiculous.

 

The Red appreciates your help in this ongoing investigation. Turning out more like Hush every day, I swear.

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I was taught by me ma' that the best way's to NOT suck. Minimum of vacuum 'cause that hurts, just keep that tongue active, maybe nibble a little...

 

Normally that'd be a good bit of advice, except for two things... One, I don't want to know why your ma was the one teaching you these things... but more importantly, the DJ... He knows how to make that shit work!

 

'sides, a little suction here and there never hurt nobody.

Edited by Rubys Angel
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The Red appreciates your help in this ongoing investigation. Turning out more like Hush every day, I swear.

 

It's my pleasure. And if you can't get anything out of Blue, you might try the one-armed man. He's a sneaky bastard too.

Edited by Rubys Angel
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I AM THE MASTER OF THE CLIT! I AM THE CLIT COMMANDER!

 

ok jay... i am sure you are... sure sure

 

 

RA, if you were face to face with the prez, and were limited to 1 question, what would you ask him. and by prez i mean dubya.

Edited by Signal08
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Normally that'd be a good bit of advice, except for two things... One, I don't want to know why your ma was the one teaching you these things... but more importantly, the DJ... He knows how to make that shit work!

 

'sides, a little suction here and there never hurt nobody.

 

MY MOTHER WAS A SAINT!!!

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RA, if you were face to face with the prez, and were limited to 1 question, what would you ask him.  and by prez i mean dubya.

 

I would ask him, politely at first, to stop hiding behind his bible, get with the times, stop the ridiculously transparent lies he continues to feed the masses, and to make good with all those promises to make things better and find a better way.

 

Then I'd kick him in the shins, call him a stupid back country inbred meat puppet asshole and saunter away with a satisfied grin.

 

I was watching Season 4 of The West Wing with DJ last night and the night previous, and maybe I should be putting this in The Monkey's Paw, but I wish we could make President Josiah Bartlet a real person and put him in the seat. He's smart, funny, witty, has morals, and makes his own EDUCATED decisions. He feels bad when casualties occur, even the bad ones, whereas our idiot prince sits back with a cold beer and some pretzels (don't choke!) and hoots and hollers like it's a fucking football game.

votejed.gif

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Bartlet in '08. I'm there.

 

So...if you could, I dunno, have sex with any woman on the planet that you may or may not have had sex with already, who would it be?

 

And don't say Monica Bellucci, because I'm already scheming my way through Vincent Cassel to get to her, she's mine.

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What's a Sprocket?

 

Sprocket:

sprock·et (n.)

1. Any of various toothlike projections arranged on a wheel rim to engage the links of a chain.

2. A cylinder with a toothed rim that engages in the perforations of photographic or movie film to pull it through a camera or projector.

See also: Cog

 

 

Toad The Wet Sprocket:

Toad the Wet Sprocket was an American folk pop band consisting of singer Glen Phillips, guitarist Todd Nichols, bassist Dean Dinning, and drummer Randy Guss. The band formed in 1986 at San Marcos High School in Santa Barbara, California, and drew their name from the Eric Idle monologue "Rock Notes" on Monty Python's Contractual Obligation Album (1980).

Toad the Wet Sprocket released six original LPs, one compilation album, various singles, a music video compilation, and one live recording, who reissued their independently produced debut Bread and Circus in 1989. Their best-known album is 1991's Fear, which featured the hit singles "All I Want" and "Walk on the Ocean".

Toad the Wet Sprocket formally broke up in July 1998, citing creative differences and strain on the foursome's friendship. Glen Phillips has since embarked on a solo career, and Todd Nichols went on to form the band Lapdog, which currently includes Randy Guss and formerly included Dean Dinning.

Toad the Wet Sprocket temporarily reunited for a 25-date tour in February and March 2003; it went so well that they continued to tour in 2004, and are (as of March 2005) working on a new album.

 

Spacely's Space Sprockets

George Jetson (The Jetsons) worked for a short, tyrannical boss named Cosmo G. Spacely, owner of the company Spacely Sprockets. Mr. Spacely had a competitor, W.C. Cogswell, owner of the rival company Cogswell Cogs.

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