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Television Quotes


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It was the "owls are not what they seem" bit that gave it away.

 

Before the beginning, after the great war between Heaven and Hell, God created the Earth and gave dominion over it to the crafty ape he called man. And to each generation was born a creature of light and a creature of darkness. And great armies clashed by night in the ancient war between good and evil. There was magic then, nobility, and unimaginable cruelty. And so it was until the day that a false sun exploded over Trinity, and man forever traded away wonder for reason.
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The Entourage?

 

if so:

 

"Tell me what you know!" *ZAP*

"Topically applied Flouride doesn't prevent tooth decay but does make teeth visible to satalites."

"Tell me what you know!!" *ZAP*

"The plastic tips at the end of shoelaces are called aglets. Their purpose is sinister."

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  • 2 years later...

Person one:Oh, well, you're getting old. You'd be dead in four years. If this was "Logan's Run."

Person two:Ah, that would be terrible.

Person one:I know. I look like a twat in a jumpsuit.

Person two:Don't say that,

(Named removed to avoid cheating. What are doing looking in here, anyway? Cheater)

. That's a word that hates women.

Person one:What? "Twat"?

Person two:No, "jumpsuit."

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Damn you all and your elitist high-brow British sitcoms! Why can't you just stick to American programming like the rest of the world?

SPACED wasn't exactly highbrow or elitist, but it was a nice slice of fried gold.

 

New (blatantly American) Quote:

 

Person 1: You are American?

Person 2: Yes.

Person 1: Oh! You must have very big penis.

Person 2: Excuse me? I want to know what's going on with these toys!

Person 1: Nothing. We are very simple people, with very small penis. His [person 3] is especially small.

Person 3: So small. So small.

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Kind of an easy one, but:

"A man walks down the street in that hat, people know he's not afraid of anything."

 

Firefly

 

 

 

Anything with Helen Keller is comedic gold. [/i]

 

 

Scientifically proven. She is one rib-tickling li'l bundle of parental disappointment. Most people called her "Helen", her parents just called her "Shame".

Now I gotta get all zen on ya tho:

If Helen Keller fell down in the woods, would she make a sound?

Meditate on that shit. 's deep.

"What's Helen Keller's favorite (insert anything arbitrary)?" Then as soon as they open their mouth to say something interrupt with a loud WAAA-WAAAA. The aforementioned flailing and a Stevie Wonder head weave do nothing but add to the comedic value.

 

Now a quote...uh...

"Oh, my beloved ice-cream bar. How I love to lick your creamy center.

And your oh, so nutty chocolate covering. You're not like the others. You like the same things I do: Wax paper. Boiled football leather. Dog breath. We're not hitchhiking anymore. We're riding! "

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