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Is Taylor Lautner human?


How weird/ hot is this guy?  

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So, I don't normally pay attention to Twilight stuff. The posters of their vampire guy looking like a college student with a hangover probably had something to do with that.


But in the sequel we get Taylor Lautner.




This guy showed up at an awards show I was watching the other night and my first thought was, "He looks like a star trek alien-of-the-week."


I mean, I've seen Dolphins that have eyes closer together than his. The last time I saw something that distorted from normal humanity, Conan O'Brien was doing 'if they mated' photoshop morphs.


Anyways, I'm curious as to whether I'm the only one that gets shivers of creepiness when they see him.

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He looked normal back when he was Shark Boy, plus a lot of his weirdness is the haircut, he looks more normal for some reason when he has short hair. His face just has odd proportions, like George's Wendt's I'd say.




Sharkboy's pedolicious!



I will only ever see him as Sharkboy...sorry, no amount of abs can get me to get this off my brain:


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oh god nick youve gotta be a good admin here and not hijack this thread about how funny looking jumbie is you've got to do it i believe in you just focus on this instead




...ok its been 10 minutes but the ironing is still delicious

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Yeah, yeah, I know this is probably the meanest thread I've started in years. I'm sorry. But the guy popped up on my tv and freaked me out, you know. Coming after all those Twitards going on about how hot he was I felt the need to assert some reality.


Wait, I'm funny looking? How exactly may I ask (you of the Buscemi chin and uncoordinated eyes)?


I mean, I've got the typical South Asian parrot nose, of course, and my ears are a little big, but I'm well within normal human range.

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ok, so, jumbie:



you're (the image of you in my head, i doubt you've drastically changed though?) that special combination of tall/lanky but with a slight gut, aka the worst of all worlds, save the short bulbous oompa-loompa look. your slight lisp is overshadowed by the fact that, in your own words, you've got an accent that comes from specifically nowhere at all - that's right, in addition to your arms-folded-behind-the-back-while-i-correct-you-on-some-minuscule-bullshit darkseid posture, you're pretentious enough to invent a goddamn accent.

this couples with (by no fault of your own) what your brother lovingly dubs as "indian men have no great sexy hollywood icon like other races do. fuck do i get to choose from, that asshole from office space, apu from the simpsons, or another caricature?" i dont know that you'd necessarily agree with his argument, but it holds weight.

you're by no means ugly, you are however funny/unique looking. this isnt even a bad thing, because even in my most racist moments i think i can easily pick you out in an apartment full of indians - you look distinct, and without the "baby fat" crutch that your brother clings to.



there it is. now stop making me practice my walk in the mirror, you picky fuck.

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