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OH HAI! So I'm trying to be a cool kid. I got like six yin-yangs tattooed on my neck, I have a chain for my wallet and I've started saying "dope" a lot.




I heard people are really into these question threads and I want in on that action.



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If we were to fight about it, how would you react to this gun?


Like Jimmy Hoffa said "Run from a knife, rush a gun". Worked out pretty good for him!


I would hold out my hands in surrender and start telling you a long story about my childhood, and I would not give you an opportunity to politely dismiss yourself (as etiquette demands you do, and I know you are first and foremost a gentleman (this is your weakness)). Once your eyelids start to droop and your aim falters, I would flail my arms wildly and start quickly moving towards you while shifting my weight erratically from side to side until I was close enough to leap onto you.


Once I was on you, I would scream like a madman and take a bite out of the nearest flesh while I fumbled with your gun hand. You would probably fall down and we would start slapping each other silly. The gun would go off randomly and it would frighten us both. You would drop it, I would gingerly kick it away, then we'd look at each other, sitting on the ground covered in faint pink slap marks and start laughing. Then I would give you a playful punch on the shoulder, you'd ruffle my hair.


We'd have a beer and cry about girls and how they don't like us. Once the soft singing of birds signals the rising sun, we would exchange numbers and vow to stay in touch.


As you turn to leave, I would run up behind you and snap your neck.

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Do you taco?


I do indeed! In pretty much all their myriad forms. Lately I've been partial to Freebird's soft tacos. I enjoy the pliability of a flour tortilla, but a good, fresh corn tortilla is something to die for.


I change my tortilla/shell options frequently, but for the sweet sweet innards I usually get either steak or pork, mixed shredded cheese, diced tomatoes, onions and sour cream. Simple and delicious.

You can get all crazy with it if you want, but even though I like each of the possible ingredients, I usually don't.


For those uninitiated to Freebirds, it's basically Subway with mexican food. You just tell 'em what you want on it. You can gt a burrito the size of a fucking infant. Not exaggerating there. Eating a large Freebirds burrito is the same as chewing your way through a 3rd trimester abortion, placenta included.


And you will end up exactly like this guy.


Taco Cabana makes a great brisket taco. Some plebians can't appreciate it, because in it's basic form it's just brisket on a tortilla, but they don't realize that thats ALL YOU NEED IN LIFE!


But I think you meant to ask if I THACO, which I do indeed! I have like a +4 modifier!

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Do you have a Bucket List and if so, please name a few of the items...


I haven't put much thought into it because I have no intention of 'dying' in the traditional sense.


I suppose there's a chance that my sacrifices to Lord Dagon will someday be considered insignificant and my gifts will be revoked. There's also a chance that I'll be decapitated with a thrice-blessed Starsteel blade, I suppose, but I haven't seen one of those since that little escapade with the Hoary Hosts of Hoggoth.



*Experience zero gravity. Not that 'nosedive in a jet' bullshit that lasts a few seconds, but legit out-of-the-atmosphere zero g.


*Completely finish and print a full sized comic book that I'm proud of.


*Jump out of an airplane. Possibly even with a parachute.


*Create an abomination. This one may require me to get both an island and a more sinister laugh, but I'd like to splice at least two animals into something new. Extra points if it begs me for death.


*Sucker punch a bear


*Not shave or get a haircut for several years


*Master a musical instrument


*Lick a president, current or not


*See a dinosaur


*Commission a famous artist to paint a portrait of me as an english gentleman


*Lay in a room full of kittens and let them crawl all over me


*Personally insult every member of Hondos with a scathing caricature


*Don a costume and 'patrol the streets'


*Briefly live out in the middle of nowhere completely cut off from all modern conveniences


*Get a cybernetic implant


*Be in a position with absolutely no responsibility or obligation where I can go somewhere and take massive amounts of psychedelics without fear of arrest or being bothered by any unwanted outside stimuli


*Perfect the art of lucid dreaming


*Perform on stage to a standing ovation


*Learn an animation program


*Walk across a country


*Be a guest voice on an episode of The Simpsons


*Eat fresh honey directly from an active bee hive. Like Winnie the Pooh.


*Meet a cast member from the Jersey Shore and convince them that they're a terrible person.


*Teach a class on Sequential Art


*Leave the house completely nude

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What the fuck are you going to do when i start my ass kicking thread back up? Because as soon as I figure out how to get "tub-girl" out of there I will! (PS Yes MetalHeart, you are responsible for the death of that thread and do not think I've forgotton it)

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Are you going to make more babies?


The answer right now is "Oh, HELL naw". I try my damndest to convince people that are truly my friends that they should chill the fuck out on the idea as well.


Lemme tell ya: if you're life is tough, if you're having emotional issues, if you're living paycheck to paycheck, having a kid SHOULD NOT EVEN BE ON YOUR RADAR YOU FUCKING IDIOT! I think this is a problem with women as they age especially. They see their friends with kids and see that they're happy and think a baby will solve their problems. Lemme tell ya: they're happy because THEY DON'T HAVE A FUCKING CHOICE! YOU DO! Creating a life so that you have something to love and something that loves you is disturbingly selfish.


Once you've done all the shit you wanna do, once you're financially stable, once you've reached the point where you're just comfortable and bored, THEN start thinking about taking care of another human being for the next two decades, if the idea tickles your fancy. That way maybe you'll be able to give it the life it deserves instead of having to suffer as it grows up with you and shares all your trials and tribulations. BEcause please believe that EVERYTHING you do that makes you happy will be much harder when there's a life depending on you for survival. NOTHING is easier. Absolutely nothing. If you think shit's hard now, shiiiiiiiiiit.


If you get knocked up and you end up keeping it, then you roll with the punches. You do what you gotta do. But if you have a choice and you piss it away, may god have mercy on your soul.


I love my son, and he's startlingly stable. He's undoubtedly a better person than me, and that's really the goal. I dealt with things because I didn't have a choice in the matter. Once he existed, my job was to create a person that wasn't a detriment to society, and that's what I've done. So far anyway. He just turned 11, and I can't imagine him suddenly developing behavioral problems. I lucked out.


I've flirted with the idea of having another kid when I'm older and comfortable, but my wife says "fuck that shit". She's self aware enough to know that she loves spending time on herself too much to be responsible for another person. It doesn't really tear me up, it's one of the reasons I married her. If something happens and she ends up pregnant, I know we're on the same page.


I recommend any man ensure this is the case before forming a committed relationship. Make damn sure you don't want different things, because at the end of the day what you want isn't going to mean shit if the worst should happen.

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hou do yoo do thoas moovin pikchers? i havnt bin o in awyle WOOP! i eet all duh bytches takos


I've never actually made a moving picture, I just steal them from elsewhere and them file them away with the file named after the response I'd like it to represent. I've sat on some for quite some time, just waiting for an opportunity to arise.


Sometimes something is too awesome and I jump the gun and force it somewhere, but I almost always regret blowing my load like this. I hear it's actually pretty easy to do, and I've browsed a few tutorials, but I haven't had the gumption to make my own yet.


I almost did the other day. I really wanted a .gif of the shadow of the Jack-in-the-box head swinging back and forth from The Twilight Zone to post in the Franklin Richards thread. I looked for a silly amount of time and found nothing. I was very tempted to just make it myself, but there was other shit I wanted to post . Maybe someday. Here's some random ones I won't be using in the foreseeable future, HOPE YA DON'T HAVE DIAL UP PETE!



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I just can't look at that yellow, spouting poo. Every. time. RAAAAAACHHHHEELLLL!


That was a tactic I once used on the boards. I thought you were serious about tubgirl, but kidding about it being MH. I went back to edit my post and... No shit (pun intended) it really was MH. Awesome! LMAO]



Question for Logans (DAMN, no Freebirds in New England. FUCK. I want a burrito the size of a baby, damn it!)


What would your dream car be?

Edited by Benz
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