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SiBob Speaks and offers Sagely Tubby Advice

Silent Bob

By Silent Bob
in Ask the Magic 8-ballzak

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Silent Bob Hondonian

Silent Bob

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What is your favorite type of pornography, pics, stories, or movies?

 

Oh I dunno, I gotta thing for places and roleplaying, personally. Like, two people having sex, that doesn't really do it for me, I can do that myself. But two people having sex...say...in a movie theatre, that's fun. Or a girl and the cute yet dopey pizza delivery man, that's funny.

 

What type of porn do you usually watch, straight, lesbian, or gay? lol

 

Straight. I know a lotta guys who seem to really dig lesbian porn, but I don't really understand it because there's not really any room to imagine myself anywhere in it. Not to say I wouldn't wanna see it in person, but then I'd actually be involved.

 

Do you like questions about sex or do they make you uncomfortable, cause I dont think they make Rubys Angel uncomfortable, do they?

 

They don't make me uncomfortable, but these aren't sex questions, they're porn questions, you can do better :D

 

Do you like the game Twister?

 

Not anymore, I'm not quite as good at it as I used to be

 

Barrell of Monkeys?

 

Do I like a barrel of monkeys? Well yeah, there really isn't anything more fun.

 

What's your favorite board game?

 

I like Trivial Pursuit because I like showing off my big...uh...brain. I've also got this Disney trivial pursuit that I kick so much ass at because I grew up an animation geek. And I am the Pharoah when it comes to Star Wars trivial pursuit. I've also got this cool board game that I bought in London called Outrage, where you have to steal the British crown jewels. I'm pretty good at that, even though *cough*some people*cough* get pissed off at my tactics.

 

Oh and Innuendo Scrabble - where every word that is sexually related or could be perceived as sexually related by a dirty mind is worth doublt the points. I'm good at that one too.

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Silent Bob Hondonian

Silent Bob

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Favorite card game?

 

I'm a blackjack kinda guy. Simple. Fun. Wins me lotsa money. I used to cheat at it (very well) but I've gotten away from that, don't worry.

 

Favorite sex game?

 

Sex dice are fun. Y'know, you have two dice, one of them has verbs on all sides, the other has body parts. We also made up our own fun game with washable markers, putting hidden messages and instructions on various body parts. I recall the sheets were multi-colored after we were done, but oh well.

 

Favorite drinking game?

 

I don't drink, actually

 

Do you smoke the pot?

If you do what do you do when you're high? besides sex obviously lol

 

Don't do that either.

 

Do you think I use lol too much? I do but I cant help it.

 

Juuuust a little :D

 

If you could be any type of dog what would you be?

 

I'd be a Jack Russel terrier. One of the smartest dogs, stars of the stage, screen, and television. Y'know, like Wishbone. Or Milo. Heh, Milo. He cracked me up. "No. Not the cheese. The keys! Put down the cheese. And get the keys."

 

Why do you think cheese is called cheese and not something else?

 

Aaaand speaking of cheese...

 

Because "cheese" is so much fun to say! Say it with me. "Cheese". No, come on, "cheese". Really emphasize the "ch" and draw out the "ee". "Cheeeeeese". Boy, I don't know about you, but I'm having fun!

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Silent Bob Hondonian

Silent Bob

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Oops, I missed this one...

 

What is your favorite thing about foreplay? besides oral obviously

 

Wait, besides oral? Do you mean besides getting oral or besides performing? Because I really like performing oral. Really like it.

 

Your favorite thing to do her her?

 

Wait, huh?

 

Favorite thing you like having done to you?

 

I do enjoy a good ego stroking, but that's probably not exactly what you meant, right?

 

I really want to say blowjobs here. Because...y'know, it's cliche, but it's cliche for a reason because...it...y'know, it really is the best.

 

Do you think the new Dukes of Hazzard movie is going to be good?

 

Man, I don't know...I'm not really impressed with the cast they got. Sean William Scott I like, but Knoxville is kinda hit or miss with me...and I mean, Jessica Simpson? Ugh. But on the other hand, it is directed by a member of Broken Lizard, and that's a good thing. So...I'll letcha know what I think when the first trailer comes out.

 

Do you like Johnny Knoxville? hes great lol

 

Like I said, he's pretty hit or miss for me. Sometimes I think he's hilarious (Big Trouble) sometimes I just think he's annoying (Jackass).

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Silent Bob Hondonian

Silent Bob

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Do you like Jessica Simpson as an actress? not her body, thats a different question.

 

Has she even acted before? I dunno, I've never seen her act. I really doubt she's good, but she could surprise me. Mandy Moore did.

 

Did you like HHGTTG?

 

I really did. It wasn't the be-all-end-all of movie comedies that some people seemed to be hoping for, but it was a lotta fun.

 

What was your favorite part?

For me it was hard to choose between Alan Rickman and Sam Rockwell.

 

I did think casting Alan Rickman as the voice for Marvin was pretty inspired, but...hmm...I think the part I laughed the loudest was towards the beginning with "Yeah. We're gonna die. Wait! Maybe not! What's this, what's this?.......this is nothing. Yeah. We're gonna die."

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Silent Bob Hondonian

Silent Bob

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Out of all of the old NES games which ones are your all time favorites?

 

Ooo tough choice...Admittedly, I didn't get into console gaming until the Super NES. I was more intelligent back then and spent all my time, like, reading...fuckin' books...and stuff... So when I played NES games I'd be at the mercy of my friends' game collections. That said, there was this one...I think it was called Sky Kid or something... where you flew a byplane and bombed stuff. I was good at that'n. I also really dug the first Legend of Zelda until Link to the Past came along and erased any need I had of ever playing an 8-bit Zelda again.

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Silent Bob Hondonian

Silent Bob

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what is your fav comedian.

 

who blows? (comedian that is)

 

Well...let's see...I love Eddie Izzard. I love Stephen Lynch. I love Greg Fitzsimmons, Jim Gaffigan, Darrell Hammond, Kevin James, Adam Ferrera...

 

As for crappy comedians...hmm...I dunno...I remember a couple years back Colin Quinn kept getting specials on Comedy Central and I really never found him that funny.

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ChristyandJake Hondonian

ChristyandJake

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Eddie Izzard is awesome (have all of his DVD's) so are Gaffigan and Lynch. Colin Quinn would be funny if his delivery were better, it sucks

So what part would you play in a threesome with 2 girls? Jake and I have talked about this since I am um... you know playing for both teams and we have rules I was just curious as to what you and Jess' would be? if you dont want to explain, feel free not to answer it, but you said I needed to do better?

 

Do you have any special technique for cunnilingus that drives her crazy?

 

Does she have any technique for fellatio that drivees you crazy? cause I have a few lol

 

Your favortie part of foreplay besides oral????? you know like touching a side or blowing on her neck or her pinching your nipples or running her hand up your thigh or her licking your scrotum or sucking on your balls, of candlewax dripping on you or being tied up or feathers or spanking or a little light biting or you know,.....any of that?

 

I meant your favorite thing to do to her....you know what the hell I meant :D

 

I know what sex dice are, I have two sets and one glows in the dark woo hoo.

Do you have sex with the lights on or off?

 

Whats your favorite type of lunchmeat?

 

Whats your favorite type of cheese?

 

Have you ever eaten a cows tongue cause I have :D it wasnt bad,

 

What's the weirdest thing you've ever eaten?

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Silent Bob Hondonian

Silent Bob

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Gaffigan rocks

if you could redo any flickers to your liking...as in great story line but you thought it was directed to hell in a hand basket...what flicker would you choose.

 

Ever see The Siege? I thought it had some great potential, but blew it all with pacing and subplots. I'd redo that'n.

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Silent Bob Hondonian

Silent Bob

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Ok, sorry about the delay, where was I?

 

So what part would you play in a threesome with 2 girls? Jake and I have talked about this since I am um... you know playing for both teams and we have rules I was just curious as to what you and Jess' would be? if you dont want to explain, feel free not to answer it, but you said I needed to do better?

 

Well, in a 3some like that, we wouldn't have any rules (I'm kinda curious to know what rules you guys are). Long ago, we realized and discussed that there can be and is a difference between love and sex and that one can exist without the other. That said, there really are only 2 rules in our sex life - 1. you must be completely honest, and 2. you have to come back home at the end of the night (or at least in the morning :D ). We have not yet had a 3some, we haven't really put our minds to it yet. But if/when we do, at least the first time, there won't be any rules. I'm realistic enough to admit that there's a pretty fair chance that one or two issues will come up that will neccesitate the implimentation of rules for further encounters, but for at least that first time - anything goes.

 

Do you have any special technique for cunnilingus that drives her crazy?

 

That sounds like a question more appropiate to ask Jess.

 

But...ok, I'll admit it. I dont have any "technique" for cunnilingus. I wish I did, but I don't. Like most guys, whether they admit it or not, I really have no idea what the hell I'm doing down there. I've just learned the visual, audio and tectile clues so I know when I'm doing something right. So, yeah, I don't really have a technique, I just go for it with an enthusiasm and a determination until I do things right (for the record, though, Jess says my special technique is simply a particularly "strong jaw")

 

Does she have any technique for fellatio that drivees you crazy? cause I have a few lol

 

Mmmm, everything she does is phenominal, but I have to say she's a particularly good ball licker. :D

 

Your favortie part of foreplay besides oral????? you know like touching a side or blowing on her neck or her pinching your nipples or running her hand up your thigh or her licking your scrotum or sucking on your balls, of candlewax dripping on you or being tied up or feathers or spanking or a little light biting or you know,.....any of that?

 

I've always been a big fan of using ice, but Jess doesn't let me do it anymore, I think I abused that priviledge.

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Silent Bob Hondonian

Silent Bob

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I meant your favorite thing to do to her....you know what the hell I meant

 

I really love running the tip of my tongue along her spine, between her shoulders and over the back of her neck. It gives her instant goosebumps, it's great.

 

I know what sex dice are, I have two sets and one glows in the dark woo hoo.

Do you have sex with the lights on or off?

 

Most of the time we don't give ourselves a chance to think about it either way, so...whatever the way the lights happen to be when we get to the bedroom. Usually off, I guess.

 

Whats your favorite type of lunchmeat?

 

Roast beef...(shrug) simple

 

Whats your favorite type of cheese?

 

Thanks to the Italian blood, it's a pretty even tossup between mozarella and provologne.

 

Have you ever eaten a cows tongue cause I have smile.gif it wasnt bad,

 

What's the weirdest thing you've ever eaten?

 

I have not had the...uh...pleasure...of eating cow tongue, but I have eaten plenty of other weird things - squid, snails, gator, frogs (I took a lot of pleasure in grossing out my cousin by performing a chorus routine with my frog legs during dinner)

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ChristyandJake Hondonian

ChristyandJake

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Well, in a 3some like that, we wouldn't have any rules (I'm kinda curious to know what rules you guys are).

Well I have been on one threesome with two guys and there were no rules, but I wasnt dating any of them. The only other threesome experience was when another girl and I gave a guy a sundae blowjob. And there was that one time I got really drunk and me and two other girls were in a bed, but the one to my right was drunk and didnt know what the other girl and I were doing, so that doesnt count. :D

 

Jake and I dont have really a set guideline, just that whatever happens we have to both be there, always be honest, like you and Jess, but we havent really gone into detail cause there are jealousy issues and you know other rules that like you said, should be set after the first experience. So really no rules as of yet like you.

 

I really love running the tip of my tongue along her spine, between her shoulders and over the back of her neck. It gives her instant goosebumps, it's great.

 

Jake does the same thing and I also get instant goosebumps, and the breathing on the neck and ears does that also.

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Silent Bob Hondonian

Silent Bob

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Do you prefer mayonnaise or miracle whip?

 

Mayo, but my tubby ass should really start switching to miracle whip. Every little bit helps.

 

Ketchup or mustard?

 

Uh, ketchup, but to be honest I really don't prefer either one.

 

Pickles?

Onions?

 

No, and uhhhhh, no.

 

I'm one of those schmucks who orders a cheeseburger plain because I want my cheeseburger to actually taste like a cheeseburger as opposed to having it taste like two buns filled with ketchup, mustard and onions.

 

Whats your favorite thing to eat? (besides vagina)

 

It's probably a toss-up between my chicken salad and Jess's seafood alfredo.

 

Whats your favorite dessert? (again.....besides vagina)

 

VOLCANOOOOOOOOOO!!!

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Silent Bob Hondonian

Silent Bob

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Why arent people asking you questions?

 

Obviously, nobody likes me anymore.

 

Is the volcano the one with chocolate cake, then melted chocolate inside topped with ice cream? cause if it is, I love that.

 

Well, technically it's a brownie, not chocolate cake, and there's also hot fudge and whipped cream, but you got the idea. :D

 

What's your favorite ice cream?

 

Chocolate chip cookie dough. Or, Ben & Jerry's Half Baked, which is chocolate chip cookie dough and chocolate fudge brownie put together.

 

Has someone already asked you that in this thread?

 

Probably.

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