Silent Bob Posted April 5, 2005 Author Share Posted April 5, 2005 Ohhh-kay, seatbelts fastened, everyone? 'Cause here we go. I'm gonna do this one in shifts so I don't break the quote buttons again. Do you love the International House of Pancakes?Who doesn't? Yes, I adore International House of Pancakes. But I'll tell you who doesn't... If you talk in a british accent, do people look at you silly? No, not until I start breaking out the Monty Python lines, anyway. Penis or Sex? Must we choose between the two when they work so wonderfully together? The penis and the sex can exist in perfect harmony if only you would would allow them to do so! do you think men who smoke are sexy? Oh yeah. That's hot! What is your favorite sexual position? Wait...seriously? Are you asking a serious question? I...I don't know what to say. I don't get these very often, it's...well to be honest, it's a little bit shocking. I think I need to sit down... But honestly, I am a big fan of all sexual positions, as long as it doesn't involve me suspended from the ceiling by my ankles......though that could be fun as well. I know RA has a favorite, though, and I'm always happy to indulge her . If I had to lean towards a preference I'd have to go for cowgirl or missionary, just because my favorite part of a woman is her face and I kinda like to see it while we...do the deed. Though I suppose strategically-placed mirrors will do that for me as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silent Bob Posted April 5, 2005 Author Share Posted April 5, 2005 If you talk in a british accent for too long, will it stick? Yes. I once spent an entire day in highschool talking in a British accent and I still had it when I woke up the next morning...and the morning after that...and the one after that. It tooke me three or four days to get rid of it completely. Be warned, folks, British accents are highly contageous and extremely deadly. If you were going to be a Sealab 2021 character, which would you be? I wouldn't If I had to be an underwater character I'd be one from SeaQuest DSV. And I'd be Darwin. And I'd tell everyone else on the ship to fuck off while I swam away. And they would be lost without me, lost I say! Stupid humans, need a dolphin to think for them all the time. Let's see how they fair without the dolphin! Oh go ahead, bring Michael Ironside on! He can't stop me! Nobody can! Squeaki squeaki squeaki! If you had to do one of the male hondonians which would it be and why? I'd probably have to do Sig. I owe it to him after all these years. Hey Sig, pitchin' or catchin', buddy? Catsup or ketchup? Which do you prefer? Ketchup. Because it's not made out of cats, people! Get over it! It is, however, made out of ketch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silent Bob Posted April 5, 2005 Author Share Posted April 5, 2005 What is your full name? Daniel Jason Rubinstein Dist. by Kohler mix specialties, white bear lake MN 55110??? Signs point to yes. If you were a girl what would you want your name to be? Dixie Normus. But that's just me... If you didin't know what color the inside of a potato was, what color would you guess it was? Periwinkle If you had a 'gina for a day what would you do with it? would you fill it with mud? I'd masturbate all...fuckin'...day But no, I wouldn't fill it with mud. Do you like boobs? MAN BOOBS?! Yes aaaaaaand no What is your favorite Keven Smith movie? Chasing Amy Momma mia!? Let me go Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silent Bob Posted April 5, 2005 Author Share Posted April 5, 2005 If Signal built a sexbot would you ask him to use it frequently? "Ask" might be giving me a little too much credit. I'd swipe it and me an' the sexbot would go away to the caribbean and nobody would ever hear from me again. If you had to have sex with one of the backstreet boys which one would it be and why?? The one on the far right - whatsisname - because that ain't a Backstreet Boy, that's a Backstreet Man! If you could be a bird or a cow, which would it be a why? I'd be a cow. And not just that, I'd be a mad cow! I'd be the Jack the Ripper of cows! I'd lead the other cows into a revolution against the evil, beef-eating human population. And we'd slaughter the vegans too because, what, we're not good enough for them? Who do they think they are? Oh I'd be a cow and the cows is comin' home to roost. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Signal08 Posted April 6, 2005 Share Posted April 6, 2005 plus... if you were a mad cow, you'd already have a disease named after you. Notorious I say. Have you ever contemplated letting someone stuff you in a trunk...just to see if the emergency pull cord worked? New cars are coming out with those, and they glow in the dark. how nice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristyandJake Posted April 6, 2005 Share Posted April 6, 2005 Do you ever feel the need to stuff Sig in a trunk so HE can see if the emergency cord pull works? lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pictureofdorian Posted April 6, 2005 Share Posted April 6, 2005 Have you ever contemplated letting someone stuff you in a truck...just to see if the emergency pull cord worked? New cars are coming out with those, and they glow in the dark. how nice. hahah when my sister got her car i made her get in the trunk to see if it worked... and it does! lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silent Bob Posted April 7, 2005 Author Share Posted April 7, 2005 Who is your favorite male singer? who is you favorite female singer? Y'know, I really could not pick...I'll get back to you on that one... If you were a plumber, would you wear a red &/or green overalls? And a big ol' fake mustache. And I'd answer the phone and say "It's-ah me, the plum-ah! Thank-a-you for callin' mah shop!" I'm sure that once I started showing up at work, eating mushrooms and claiming that they can make me grow to twice my original size(!), I wouldn't be keeping that job for long, though. I'm Ron Burgundy? Yeah. And I'm Sparticus. Woudl you ever get a Prince Albert piercing? Yeah, see, sharp things and that body part reeeeally don't mesh well with me... Is sweet'n'low really sweet ... and low? and why is there a music staff on the package? Sweet'n'Low is not sweet, but it is low. Can't count the number of times I've overheard Sweet'n'low calling Equal's mother a whore. It's low, man. It's low. As for the music notes? Uh...hrrrgrfmmgng Are you a dirty Czech? Nope, I'm a bounced Czech What is cream of tartar and why is it in sweet'n'low? Well, a Tartar is any member of the Turkish or Mongolian nations that invaded Eastern Europe during the Middle Ages, slaughtering many people. As for Tartar cream? Well...you can imagine... Do you like our Ihop napkin Questions? Very much so, though I'm curious what sort of questions a Dennys might inspire. Ok that's all I have time for tonight, but I promise I'll catch up with all of these real soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Signal08 Posted April 7, 2005 Share Posted April 7, 2005 Nope, I'm a bounced Czech that was funny shit! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristyandJake Posted April 7, 2005 Share Posted April 7, 2005 Are you glad you are winning the 2nd Showdown between you and Spongebob? I voted for you cause you're awesome. So did POD. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Signal08 Posted April 7, 2005 Share Posted April 7, 2005 As I am too... one of these days spongy will learn. If you were given 3 wishes, and the rule of 'cant wish for more wishes' what would you wish for? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silent Bob Posted April 8, 2005 Author Share Posted April 8, 2005 If you could have anal intercourse with any male celeb, who woul dit be? Clive Owen, I've got a thing for Brits, and I think tha-...whoah, hey, hold on, what?! No, I'm...nu-uh, no, I'm straight and I wouldn't even consider...well, ok, maybe for Clive Owen. Those BMW films did give me a hard-on, but I always thought it was just the car... Arent you jealous b/c you dont live in TX? Well, I do hear that things are always bigger in Texas. So, uh...just between the two of us...and...everyone else who happens to read this...um, if you were to move to Texas, do...things just automatically become bigger for you or do you have to be born there? I'm just curious is all... Would you be the pitcher or catcher? Can't I switch off? I mean, it might depend on my mood that day, or maybe I'd just be tired and would rather just be able to lay there this time an-...wait, no! I wouldn't even think of...well, ok, maybe for Clive Own. Do you like the smell of matches? Uh, yes I do. Dont lie.. we know you are jealous because you dont live in texas.. arent you? Insanely. It keeps me up at night, truly, I haven't slept in weeks. Hell, I haven't slept since Texas became a state. I haven't slept since that whole...Alamo...thing... Ok, so maybe I don't really care that much about the Alamo but I, uh, watched the movie... Do you light a match after you poop? If soo, do you call it your poop match? No, I do not, but occasionally I do light a candle after I poop, in remembrance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silent Bob Posted April 8, 2005 Author Share Posted April 8, 2005 if there was a soundtrack to your life, what would it consist of? Good question. It'd probably have a lotta classic rock tunes, especially for the scenes where I'm in my car...which is a lot. It'd have the occasional Limp Bizkit track for when I'm having an angry day. It'd have some Bach on it for when I have those real dramatic moments that should be underscored with great classical music in an effort to make the moment seem so much more important and classy than it really is. And the pinnacle of the collection, the highly appropiate - Big Balls - AC/DC. Yeah, Texas ain't the only place... If you could speak any language you wanted fluently which one would it be??? Italian. Or Huttese. Isn't Deidre AWESOME?! My personal hero. If you went bald, would you wear a toupe? Like the donald? Uh, no, I'd wear a hat. Do you still blow bubbles in your milk? Only when it's chocolate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silent Bob Posted April 8, 2005 Author Share Posted April 8, 2005 If you could have any nickname that you have never had before what would it be and why? "Hef". I think it's pretty self-explanatory What kind of shoes do you wear? what color are they? Uh...I dunno...black ones? And they're...black? Thanks for coming see you soon? Ok, seriously, adding a question mark to the end of a random sentence does not necessarily make it a question. Examples: Example 1 With period - I went to class today. With question mark - I went to class today? See, that works fine but it implies either amnesia or hysteria, neither of which - I hear - are good. Example 2 With exclamation point - Dear god, the Russians have launched a first strike!! With question mark - Dear god, the Russians have launched a first strike? Also works fine, but implies that Armageddon is happening and you really need to get with the freakin' ball game and pay attention. Example 3 With exclamation point - PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR AND DROP THE WEAPON!! With question mark - Put your hands in the air and drop the weapon? Ok, still a question, but it will get you shot. So what have we learned? (question) The evidence clearly shows that while, in two out of three cases it is possible to turn any statement into a question by adding a question mark, if you do so in the third case you will get shot. That's all for today, please be here at 9 tomorrow where we'll start the next chapter - The Comma: Friend or Foe? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silent Bob Posted April 8, 2005 Author Share Posted April 8, 2005 If my mom met your mom, would they be friends? same for the daddios. My mother could be friends with Hitler if she had the opportunity. And my dad's Jewish, so the Hitler thing is probably out, but most anyone else he can get along with if he has to. Packaged for find restaraunts? Indeed I am, and I also make good take-out so, y'know, if anyone...wants to...take me out...I can give you the number to call. How do you want your eggs sir? Side of toast? A bit runny, but catchable. Sunny side up, but not so bright. Scrambled, but easy to read. Poached, but legal. Eggs Benedict, but loyal. Over-easy, but not too easy if you know what I'm sayin'... And as for toast, only if you propose it. What do you think your best feature is? Besides my quick wit, my infectious humor, my boy-next-door good looks, my killer smile, my sexy voice, my skill in bed and my ability to cook up a mean batch of chicken salad? I dunno, I can recite half of the monologues from Hamlet, how's that? ISNT RACHAEL AWES?? Yes, she's had me in many awes since I met her. boxers, briefs, thong, or commando?? and why? Boxers - not as restricting as briefs, not as oh-my-god-what-if-I-rub-against-the-zipper-the-wrong-way as commando Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silent Bob Posted April 8, 2005 Author Share Posted April 8, 2005 What is something you cant leave your house without? Pants If signal poured honey all over his body and offered you $2.37 to lick it off would you accept the money and lick off the honey? I think Sig's gonna have to move the decimal over quite a few places for that. Plus, Sig=furry, honey=sticky. I don't wanna follow through on where this logic is leading my all-too-distracted brain... Do you love Eddie Izzard or do you love Eddie Izzard?? and have you seen all the dvd's if so which is you fave?? I love Eddie Izzard. Ok, he's another male celebrity I'd have anal intercourse with, but I hear he fancies girls. An executive transvestite told me that. Not the kind that lives in a cave. I only have two of his dvds so far - Dress to Kill and Circle (for the record, I like D2K the best) - but I'm working on completing the collection. arent you glad you brought the question thread back?Are you one of those guys who doesnt mind when little kids ask a thousand questions and dont listen for the answers? Cause these 2 are a trip. It's exhausting, I haven't slept in ages! But I'm glad it's back and I'm glad these gals are keeping it going. It's what makes me feel alive! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silent Bob Posted April 8, 2005 Author Share Posted April 8, 2005 This was a pic of Vincent Cassel but for some reason it doesnt work but the question was why do you love him? I don't. I love his wife. Did you like the animated series Aeon Flux?It was awesome wasnt it? Yes I did, and no, before you ask, I don't think the Charlize Theron movie will do it any justice. Though I do love me some Charlize... Do you think Charlize Theron will do it justice? Told you you'd ask. See, I got this psychic thing going... revolution or revalation? Revolutionary revelations. Have you ever contemplated letting someone stuff you in a trunk...just to see if the emergency pull cord worked? Actually, remember? In school? You guys did lock me in a trunk once because I wanted to prove that I could pick the lock from the inside, like I could do with the trunk in my parents' car (uh...not that they ever locked me in the trunk or anything...). Unfortunately I couldn't demonstrate my mad skillz because you guys stuffed me into a trunk that was so small I could even move my hands! Bastards. Good times. Good times. Do you ever feel the need to stuff Sig in a trunk so HE can see if the emergency cord pull works? At least a dozen times a day. Are you glad you are winning the 2nd Showdown between you and Spongebob? Please, winning a popularity contest against Spongebob around here is like winning a potato sack race against the corpse of Winston Churchill. It's not a major accomplishment really. But thank you guys for the support anyway. Really. If you were given 3 wishes, and the rule of 'cant wish for more wishes' what would you wish for? More silly questions, of course. Keep 'em comin', folks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Signal08 Posted April 8, 2005 Share Posted April 8, 2005 spork or bjork? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuperEeyore Posted April 8, 2005 Share Posted April 8, 2005 Yeah, see, sharp things and that body part reeeeally don't mesh well with me... You know it's not as bad as it looks... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silent Bob Posted April 8, 2005 Author Share Posted April 8, 2005 spork or bjork? Bjork is cuter, but let's face it...the spork is more versatile. It's just a shame the knirk never caught on as much. You know it's not as bad as it looks... And I am perfectly happy just taking your word for that and moving on with my life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MetalHeart Posted April 8, 2005 Share Posted April 8, 2005 Ok, seriously, adding a question mark to the end of a random sentence does not necessarily make it a question. I'm Ron Burgandy? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silent Bob Posted April 8, 2005 Author Share Posted April 8, 2005 I'm Ron Burgandy? You already asked that one... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benz Posted April 8, 2005 Share Posted April 8, 2005 Ok, let me ask you a serious question. Blarf or baloofa? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Signal08 Posted April 8, 2005 Share Posted April 8, 2005 knirk .. great stuff man! what one thing would you never be caught dead doing? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silent Bob Posted April 9, 2005 Author Share Posted April 9, 2005 Ok, let me ask you a serious question. Blarf or baloofa? That question kinda makes me wanna blarf. what one thing would you never be caught dead doing? Breathing. No, really, think about it. Ok, seriously? Let's see. I wouldn't be caught dead...masturbating. No wait, I take that back, if you're caught by the right person it turns into a situation similar to half of the porno scripts ever written. Do pornos have scripts? Is the sex specifically laid out? Maybe storyboarded? Or does it just have "sex scene here" on the script? Ah never mind, that's not important. What wouldn't I be caught dead doing? I wouldn't be caught dead doing...Colin Farrell. Certainly not without the proper amount of protection, at least. Like a haz-mat suit and a cattle prod. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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